The Two of Us
Indigo
***
In a room full of people you're the only one around...
You really have no idea, do you? How beautiful you really are. I know how insecure you
are about that...you're always saying that you're nothing compared to me, with my
'chiselled features' and 'ocean blue eyes'. But you've got it all backwards, baby. It's me
who doesn't hold a candle to you.
When I look at you, standing there with a drink in your hand, nodding in all the right
places as you listen to a couple of people you don't even know trying to tell you something
they think is important, I see my future. I see my world. I see my life, Lance. And I think
you see the same thing when you look at me.
We don't need anybody else, you and me. I'm standing here, trying to pretend that I'm having
a good time, a great time, because there's press here, you know. And Bobbie's on my arm,
having the time of her social-climbing life, acting like we're the perfect couple. And I'm
acting, too. I'm acting like I'm in love with her, like I'd rather be standing right here
with her, instead of where I really want to be, right beside you.
You suddenly glance my way, across the room, and give me that smile, and I smile back. I
can't get over it, you know? How your eyes just sparkle, I swear they do. And I'm staring
at you, I don't even realize how long I've been staring.
"JC, stop it, you asshole," she hisses, her nails digging into my arm, through the cloth
of my shirt. I'm out of my daze, and I glare at her. Of course she had to do something.
She couldn't have us being outed, now could she? Not when being my "girlfriend" has so many
damn benefits. Like the exclusive interviews for her "column." Or the talk show Johnny's
giving her just to keep her happy. She doesn't care what we'd have to go through if the
world ever found out.
I go back to being the perfect boyfriend, the perfect popstar, the perfect gentleman. But
right now, Lance, all I want to do is get away from here, just get the hell out of here,
and go back to our hotel room and hold you until we both fall asleep. I don't know how
much longer I can take this. I glance at my watch--12:30--and I decide it's time to go over
to Johnny and ask him if now is the polite time to leave. Chris and Justin, they're still
having fun, getting drunk and just enjoying the whole party. And Joey, he's having fun, too.
He's always having fun, he's Joey for Pete's sake. But I can see you're not. You're getting
that sleepy look, the one I think is so cute, when your eyelids droop and you're stifling a
yawn every 30 seconds.
I'm not having fun either. Not when we're in the same room and I can't even talk to you. So
I go over to Johnny, and I give him a look that plainly says, "I want to go, now," and he
nods his assent, and glances at you. You're watching us out of the corner of your eye, just
waiting for that nod, and when he gives it you wrap up the conversation as quickly as you can.
I'm outside, waiting by the limo, breathing in the cool night air with my eyes closed, just
glad to be out of there, finally. I'm still doing that when I feel you come up beside me,
and put your mouth close to my ear. "Finally..." My eyes are suddenly open again.
I smile, and give a small laugh, and we climb into the limo and tell the driver to head
back to the hotel. You fall asleep on the way, your head resting on my shoulder, and it's
all I can do to stop myself going crazy from the way you smell, you smell so damn good.
In the hallway, we're both so tired, we can barely stand anymore, and I fumble with the
keycard in my pocket.
We're supporting each other as we walk towards the bed, stripping down to our boxers in the
process. We get under the covers, and finally, finally I get to hold you, and your arm
is wrapped around my waist, your head is in the crook of my neck, and just before both
of us drift off to sleep...
"I love you so much, Josh..."
And I smile, and I say it, too, and before closing my eyes I think, "This is it, this is
all I need. Just the two of us." And I'm right.
***
fiction