Our Song
Indigo
***
The light hit his hair at just the right angle, bringing out all these odd, sparkly, beautiful highlights in it. It was dyed to its natural
color--a deep, rich chocolate brown--but there were still parts of it where the honey showed through.
Watching him sleep was a hobby. He could do it for hours and hours, just sit there and take it all in, with his head resting on his
curled-up knees and his blue, blue eyes staring intently. It scared him how he could get lost in his thoughts about this one man, this
one person who was his entire world. And hours would go by, and he wouldn't even notice because he was too preoccupied
with loving him.
Lance's form shifted slightly, and the spell was broken. JC rubbed his eyes, got up from the couch, and stretched. He glanced at
the clock--7:26--as he stretched the muscles in his back. He had been watching Lance for an hour and a half, 30 minutes less
than the last time. It was getting better.
He would be awake soon. And he would reach out to find JC, and JC had to be there or he would be disconcerted at best. With
that in mind, JC crawled back into bed, underneath the still-warm covers, and went to sleep with one arm thrown over the man
beside him.
***
He yawned, not wanting to open his eyes just yet, feeling an arm thrown over his chest and smiling at the thought of who it
belonged to. He turned onto his side, towards the arm's owner, and finally lifted his lids half-way. JC was still asleep. Good.
That meant Lance could watch him, watch the way his mouth turned up just a little at the corners, in a happy dream smile. He
could watch the way his eyelids fluttered slightly, and the way his chest rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. *Angel.*
"G'morning..." he mumbled sleepily. He opened his eyes, which crinkled at the sight of Lance's soft smile. "You were watching
me." It wasn't a question.
"Yeah..." Lance answered slowly, embarassed. He sat up, running a hand through his hair, and focusing on a point somewhere
near the floor.
JC grinned, although Lance couldn't see it, and sat up as well. He wrapped his arms around Lance from behind, and rested
his head on Lance's right shoulder. "I'm glad I'm not the only one."
A deep, throaty chuckle. "I really love you, you know that?" He closed his eyes and leaned into JC, savoring the moment.
"Yeah. I know." JC kissed the back of his head, feeling the soft hair tickle his nose. "I love me, too."
***
It was the longest break they would have in a while. Two weeks, to be spent in Orlando, before rehearsals for the tour
began. They were all in town, trying to get away from each other and spend time alone for a change, before the endless
weeks of being in each other's company came. Not that they minded. But the suits had insisted on it.
Lance was the only *Nsync bandmate he'd be seeing until June. They lived together, after all, in a house they'd bought but
hadn't spend more than three days at a time in. Now they had two full weeks. *Perfection.*
"You wanna swim or something?" They were at the kitchen table. It was lunchtime. JC shook his head, and took a bite
out of his apple.
"Not really, baby. It's still a 70-degree day. Too cold to swim." He went back to his apple.
Silence. For a few minutes at least. "I can't believe I forgot how to have regular fun." He chuckled at that, and JC smiled. After
a life on the road, being in one place for more than a few days was all new to them.
"You wanna go to the mall or something?" JC didn't really like malls, but he figured it was worth a shot. Heaven knew there
wasn't much else to do.
"Nah. I don't wanna go somewhere we can't even hold hands." As if to emphasize his point, he stretched his hand across the
table and took JC's in his. "Man, this is boring."
"Yeah." More silence. Then JC's hyperactive nature took over. "Hey! Let's go to the studio. I want you to listen to something."
He got up, pulling Lance to his feet. "C'mon. Jive building's only ten minutes away. 'Sides, we might as well get a copy
of our summer schedule." He was appealing to Lance's managerial side. Lance took the bait.
"Yeah, okay. Let's go, Josh."
***
"When did you write this?" Lance was incredulous. How had JC managed to find the time to arrange and record a new song,
when they'd hardly had a break for almost 6 months? It was a good one, too. No Digital Getdown. It was a ballad, a soft,
floaty ballad, with words like "love" and "cherish" all over the place. The melody was satisfactory. The lyrics were something
else entirely. "Josh, this is beautiful!"
"You like it?" He was happy. Why wouldn't he be? Lance liked his song. Even if the fans didn't, even if they never even got
to hear it...Lance liked it. HIS Lance.
"Like it? I love it! Jace, we HAVE to put this on the next album. Or release it as a single or something. He paused, then leaned
over to give him a kiss. "You are a musical Jesus."
JC groaned. "C'mon, Lance, I said that like, years ago! It was a joke. Our initials, they're the same, you know, I was
kidding..." he trailed off weakly. JC had a...WAY with words.
"I know. But you look all cute when you're blushing uncomfortably." He gave him another kiss. "When did you write this?" he
asked again.
The blush deepened. In fact, he turned absolutely scarlet. JC took a deep breath. "You remember when we first got
together? I mean, when we first found out we liked each other? That photo shoot in Hawaii."
Lance smiled. "That picture was for the cover of Seventeen, I think. Or was it YM? Of course I remember it. "
"Me, too. I don't just remember the picture, though. I remember the MOMENT. When I first realized that there was hope
for the impossible dream I'd set in my head. When I first found out that there was the slightest chance you might love me
the way I had loved you for two years. Lance, I remember EVERYTHING about it..."
***
"To the left. Joey, move a little behind Justin. Good, good. JC, look at the camera. JC? JC!"
He blinked, dazed. Then he flushed a deep crimson. He'd been staring at the back of Lance's head for what seemed like
forever. The photographer had noticed. What if Lance had?
Lance, however, was clueless. He stared straight at the camera, giving it his best popstar smile, flashing his white teeth and
opening his stained-glass-green eyes wide.
JC grinned, threw his arm around Justin, and the other around Lance. *Click* flash *Click* flash *Click Click* FLASH...
By the time they were given a 5-minute break, their eyes were sore from the constant flashing of the camera bulb. "Auuggh,
my eyes!" Chris, his hand on his forehead, wobbled around in his best imitation of a damsel-in-distress. Justin and Joey
laughed, jumping on him and starting to roughhouse.
Lance sat back quietly, a contented smile on his face as he watched his bandmates fool around. JC was also on the
bench, 3 feet away from where he wanted to be. It took some minutes before he calmed down enough to speak. "Photo
shoots can be a real pain, huh, Lansten?" He cringed inwardly. Lance HATED being called that.
Today, however, he didn't seem to mind. "Tell me about it. I think I'm legally blind now." He rubbed his eyes, and ran a hand
over his short blond hair. "When is this going to be over?"
"Dunno. Soon, I hope." They sat in silence, enjoying the mild air and the feel of the sand beneath their feet.
"JC..."
"Lance..."
Both of them stopped, then laughed. "Go ahead," JC said earnestly. Whatever Lance wanted to say, he sounded serious.
"Nothing, really. I just wanted to...comment on how nice the weather is here." It was an obvious lie. JC sighed in frustration.
"Hmm. Yeah." The moment was lost. He couldn't do this now, not now. He couldn't pour out two years of love in--less than--
5 minutes before they had to get back to work. And Lance...what would he say? JC didn't even know if that was his
preference. Although he had his suspicions.
"Guys, back to the shoot." Joey's voice called them both back to reality, and they got up, with words unspoken still between
them.
***
"Good. Now JC, put your arm around Lance like you were doing earlier, and give me that trademark grin of yours."
Following the second instruction was easy. The first was slightly trickier. After the exchange--or non-exchange-- of words
during the break, JC was uncomfortable once again around Lance. He couldn't help it; every time he looked at him he was
reminded of how much he'd come to love Lance over the past two years.
He did as he was told, and felt Lance lean into his touch, as if he wanted to be there. Did that mean...? No. No, it couldn't.
He would've known.
As the shoot progressed, however, all doubt was swept from his mind as he found that Lance went out of his way to
accidentally bump into JC, or steady him by holding his arm. It was when their hands slightly brushed against each other that
JC felt it, this exhilirating feeling that maybe, just maybe, he could let himself believe that Lance actually...
***
"That was when you wrote the song? JC, that was almost 3 years ago!" He looked at JC, his eyes questioning.
"Correction: that was when I STARTED writing it. I got the first few verses down, and then...then, I just didn't know
what to write anymore. But when we finally got together, and when we kissed for the first time, words just poured out
of me...Lance, this is 3 years worth of our relationship. It's our love that wrote the song FOR me."
Lance didn't know what to say. He wasn't much of a crier, but he felt tears stinging his eyes as he gathered JC in his
arms. "Thank you, Josh," he said softly. "This is our song. We needed a song, and now we have one."
JC closed his eyes, the lump in his throat beginning to reach upwards. "You're welcome, baby. I really love you, you know
that?"
"Yeah. I know."
***
fiction