The Scent of You
Indigo
***
To: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
From: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
Subject: damn you... :)
Lance,
You've only been gone three days and I'm already on the brink of insanity. Damn you for
doing this to me! We've been together so much for the past 2 years that I'm going crazy without
you. Seriously.
So how's your grandfather doing? How's everyone down there in Mississippi? I'm sorry
again, baby, that I couldn't go with you. Been really busy with Wild Orchid in the studio,
producing and stuff. I wrote a pretty good song I want you to check out when you get back here
to New York. I need your opinion before I start arranging for it.
I don't think I need to tell you, but I will anyway. I love you baby. Always will.
Write me.
Josh
***
To: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
From: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
Subject: drama queen
Josh,
You, always the drama queen. Hehe. Grandad's doing better...still in the ICU, but the
doctors say he should be in recovery soon. I don't know when I'll be heading back there...
I just want to make sure he'll be okay first. You understand, right? Of course you do. You
always do.
How's the producing going? Of course I'll look over your lyrics. I just love criticizing
you. *grin* Everyone's fine. My mom says hi. I think she's planning on sending some cookies to
you through me. You better share though.
I still can't believe you made this e-mail address for me. You're crazy, you know that?
I love you. Don't miss me too much.
Lance
***
To: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
From: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
Subject: you forgot your cologne
Lance,
Well, I hope you're happy. You know what I did last night? I didn't sleep, that's for
sure. I stared up at the ceiling, going over everything we've ever done together since we'd met.
If that's not crazy I don't know what is.
You know what else? You forgot your cologne bottle. Your Clinique Happy for Men. The
stuff you douse yourself in every day. But, I'm kind of glad that you did, because that
intoxicating smell you have is starting to fade off your pillow. That mixture of baby powder
and shampoo, and I don't know what else that smells so good, and of course, the cologne. I've
started spritzing it on myself, if you don't mind.
I hope your grandfather gets well really really soon.
Love you. Come home to me, baby.
josh
***
To: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
From: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
Subject: sweet
Josh,
You ARE crazy. I can't tell you that enough.
I don't mind, about the cologne. You keep that bottle. I think I'm going to go and get
some of yours, just to help me sleep. CK One, right? Geez, Jace, YOU not sleeping? You must really be
missing me, huh? It made me grin, reading that. How are the other guys? Not TOO bored, I hope?
Well, there must be a lot of promotional stuff you can do without me. Now, if JUSTIN had to go
on an emergency trip...
Grandad's still in the same condition. My mom sits by his hospital bed night after night,
talking to him, and she knows he can hear. The doctors say he might have right-side paralysis
for the rest of his life. The stroke was pretty bad.
I'm worried, Josh. I know I said he was getting better, and he was, but I'm not so sure
anymore. Just, please, hope for the best.
Miss you, love you, wish I could see you.
Lance
***
To: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
From: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
Subject: you okay?
Lance,
You sounded scared in your last letter. I just wish there was something I could do. If only
management would let me off...but not this time, not after we went missing for an extra week
(remember that? it was worth it). Plus the wild orchid stuff...it's just so hectic right now.
I'm so frustrated! All i want to do is see you and comfort you, and I can't even do that.
I just want you to remember that there's someone on this earth to whom you are the most
important person in the world. And no, I'm not talking about your mom =)
'I'm staring at your picture every night, the scent of you still lingers in my mind...'
Did you know that's my favorite out of all the songs we've ever recorded? Coincidence.
You know what I'm going to say. Write me.
josh
***
To: "Joshua Scott Chasez" ([email protected])
From: "James Lance Bass" ([email protected])
Subject: i feel so alone
Josh,
He died last night. My grandad's dead. Took a turn for the worse; his heart had failed
before the doctors could do anything.
There's this feeling just above my stomach, a dull aching pain, like something's closing
around my heart, and every second it gets tighter and tighter, until I can't even breathe and
I have to cry, let it all out before it bursts. My mom's not taking it well. She hasn't stopped
crying. I have to be strong, for her, and for my dad, but I just can't...I need you. But I know
you can't be here, and that's okay. It's not your fault. I just wish...I'll be here for a few
more days, for the wake, and the funeral, and for my family. Hold on till then, okay?
Lance
***
He hated planes. Funny, since he'd practically been living in them for the past 6 years.
This was different, though. For once, he didn't have to grip his armrests until his
knuckles turned white as the plane was taking off. He didn't have to close his eyes and try to
shut out the noise of the engines throughout the entire flight. He didn't have to use his airsick
bag, and borrow one from the passenger next to him.
This time, all he was thinking about was Lance. Lance and his pain. Lance and his hurt.
Pain and hurt that he had to take away, so Lance wouldn't feel it anymore.
He'd taken the next flight to Mississippi, in the dead of night, not even telling anyone
where he'd gone. They'd figure it out, of course. It didn't matter, he'd be gone for as long
as it took to comfort his Lance.
***
"There's someone here to see you, Lance." His mother's voice came through his bedroom
door. He was taking a long-needed nap; he was exhausted from crying. For the first time in
days, his mother's voice wasn't choked with tears. She sounded even...cheerful.
He got up,
and headed downstairs.
There were voices coming from the kitchen. His mom's and...was that...?? No. No, that
was impossible. Management. Wild Orchid. JC?
"Lance." One word. One voice. As he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, hoping it wasn't
all a dream, he couldn't tear his eyes away. And then, all the emotion took hold of him, and
he rushed into the comforting arms of his love, his life.
"Josh," he sobbed, holding onto him the way his mom used to when he'd come home crying
after a school day. "How did you...? Why? I don't care why, it's just, you being here..."
JC buried his face in Lance's shoulder. "It doesn't matter, baby. I'm here.
Ssshh, it's okay. It's going to be okay."
He hugged him closer, and breathed in the scent of Lance's hair--the best scent in the whole world.
***
fiction