GRAVITAS

Title: Gravitas, 20/26
Author: Jaye (Copyright January 2003)
Codes: VOY/TNG/DS9 Many Pairings NC-17

Disclaimer: Star Trek and all related characters and concepts are the property 
of Paramount. Gladiator belongs to Dreamworks SKG and Universal. No infringement 
is intended or profit made. This is NC-17 for adult themes, violence and sex. If 
you aren't interested (or aren't old enough), don't read it.

Archive: Drop me a note first so I know where it's going. Please keep the text 
(especially the disclaimer) intact.

Feedback: Sure but be kind, or at least constructive. E-mail is 
reader8901@fastmail.fm

Summary: Treachery raises the stakes and changes lives when the leader of the 
Terran Empire seeks to restore the Federation.

Note: Major angst alert. Frank discussion of quality-of-life and end-of-life 
issues. Very AU, as chapters 1-14 were basically the film "Gladiator" set in a 
Star Trek universe. Now it's my own invention. No Maquis, no Delta Quadrant, 
etc. This is my response to Polly's Cha!Club challenge about movies. Sisko is 
older here than in canon.

***************

CHAPTER TWENTY

Kassidy and Sisko stopped abruptly just inside the entrance to the waiting room. 
A strange sight met their eyes: Tom sitting cross-legged on a cushion, eyes 
closed, hand resting on a small gold-and-black device resting on the floor. 
Surrounding him in rapt attention were the other adults.

Sisko sidled up to B'Elanna. "What's going on?" he whispered.

B'Elanna leaned back and quietly told him, "Chakotay woke up, and tried to get 
rid of us all. He won't see anyone---except Legate Garak and the Doc. The 
Cardie's still locked in there---Kahless knows what they're finding to chat 
about."

She paused a moment as if pondering the mystery, then continued, "Anthwara 
stopped by and told Tom that Chakotay was going to have to get used to having us 
around, because nobody's leaving unless they want to. He also gave Tom that 
little piece of Dorvan technology. I think he's trying to have a séance or 
something using it."

Sisko just grunted. Kassidy asked, "How long's he been like that?"

"I don't know." B'Elanna shrugged. "He was already zoned out when we got here, 
I'm not sure how long ago. I've kind of lost track of time today."

Kassidy noticed how the ex-gladiator had her fingers entwined with Harry's. She 
gave a mischievous smile and said, "The Lieutenant *is* rather distracting, 
isn't he?"

B'Elanna blushed, but held her head up proudly. "Yes, he is," she confirmed.

The three turned to watch Tom, wondering how long he'd be in his own world.

************************************************************

"Yo! Hawk, Brother, Hey You! I'm calling here!" Tom stood in the middle of the 
burned forest, arms akimbo as he shouted to the uncaring storm clouds.

/Rather rudely and loudly, I must say./

Tom whirled and spied the bird perched on the blackened branch of a nearby tree. 
He strode up to it and demanded, "I need your help---I need some answers. 
Chakotay's awake but won't let us in to see him. Not his friends, or his 
family...or me." He was a bit embarrassed at the mix of sulk and whine in his 
voice. He'd been pathetically eager for any little crumb of insight when he got 
here, but the tension of his real-life situation had combined with the wait he'd 
endured on the spirit plane to make him noticeably less reverent.

/Chakotay is not as he was./

"You think I care about that? I just want to talk to him, to see for myself his 
eyes are open and he's breathing on his own. Is that really too much to ask?" 
Tom complained, a rather unattractive put-upon expression twisting his features.

/Perhaps./

"What?!" Tom's eyes narrowed as he advanced upon the hawk. The spirit seemed 
unimpressed as Tom stood nose-to-beak and snapped, "Where do you get off saying 
something like that? I've been busting my butt trying to keep Chakotay alive. 
Now he's finally safe---and he refuses to have anything to do with me. What kind 
of attitude is that?"

/One that you would do well to understand./

Something in his spirit guide's tone made Tom pause. As his anger faded, the 
soul-deep loneliness made itself known. "I just want to be with him." Tom's 
whisper was a plea. His hands opened in a gesture of helplessness.

The absence of belligerence was acknowledged with a quick nod as the hawk hopped 
from the branch onto Tom's shoulder. He rubbed his head against Tom's temple, 
his mental voice soothing. /I know. You love him. But you do not see that love 
can take many forms./

"I don't understand," Tom admitted as he lifted a hand to stroke the bird's 
breast feathers.

/That's a good place to start, youngster. There's hope for you yet./

Before Tom could reply, a low howl seemed to drift over the landscape, trailing 
sorrow in its wake. "What was that?" he asked.

/Chakotay's guide./ The hawk used its beak to point to a lone wolf silhouetted 
against the clouds at the top of a hill. /She mourns for all that is lost./

"Still? I mean, Trebus was destroyed months ago." Tom hoped his question didn't 
come across as disrespectful, but he was puzzled. Perhaps time worked 
differently here.

/Look about you, Tom Paris./

As Tom did he noticed the awful grayness of it all. The still silence, the ash 
coating everything, the sky full of clouds heavy with moisture. "Everything's 
suffocated."

/Yes. There has been little chance to grieve, or heal. The land still waits for 
the rain to mix the remains of what has gone before into the soil and the water 
and the air. When that happens, then life can truly begin anew./

"But what does that have to do with Chakotay and me?" Tom had never been good 
with allegories or metaphors. Give him a nice straightforward instruction manual 
any day.

If a bird could snort, the hawk did, a muffled blend of amusement and 
exasperation. /It means that there are things still unresolved, for both of you. 
If you refuse to acknowledge the past and the present, you risk your future./

"Oh, that was helpful." Tom struggled to keep his sarcasm on the mild side. "Any 
other nuggets of wisdom?"

/Only this, rude one: sometimes you just have to punch your way through./

Tom was back in the waiting room. He got the feeling he'd been summarily booted 
off the spirit plane. He opened his eyes, his gaze automatically going to the 
door to Chakotay's room. The conversation with his guide whirled around his 
mind, confusing him further.

Suddenly the door opened and Garak appeared. Without thought Tom leapt up and 
barreled through his audience. "Computer, initiate lockout Paris Alpha Omega." 
When he reached the portal he pushed the Cardassian out of the way and dashed 
through.

He rested his back against the closed panel, panting, heart pounding. He 
murmured, "Sometimes you just have to punch your way through."

***************

Garak turned to the others, bemusement clear on his face. "I take it Mr. Paris 
has decided visiting hours are still open?"

"So it seems." The Doctor's irritation was plain. "I'd better get him out of---"

"No," Garak interrupted gently, shifting to block the hologram's progress. He 
tilted his head, speculation in his eyes. "Perhaps this is the perfect 
opportunity for them."

"Opportunity for what?" the EMH snapped. "My patient was very explicit in his 
preferences---"

"Which you yourself, Doctor, have admitted may be detrimental to his recovery," 
Bariel pointed out. "It's true you are taking excellent care of his body, but 
surely Chakotay's spirit also needs nurturing."

"And who better to provide that than Tom?" Ziyal asked.

"It's too late now, anyway." Harry was reading a nearby console. "The lockouts 
are back in place---and this time you're on the 'keep out' list, Doc."

"Paris must know a thing or two about computers himself," Sisko said with a 
raised brow. Then he grinned. "Sneaky little bastard, isn't he?"

The Doc stalked over to the panel and tried his override codes. The negative 
beeps confirmed Harry's assessment. He sighed. "At least Chakotay's condition is 
not a fragile one. He should be in no danger, despite the absence of 
monitoring." He frowned. "But I still don't like it."

"Of course not." Kira shrugged. "But there's not much you can do about it, 
except wait."

"Pull up a chair and join the club, Doc," Greg offered. "I bet we're going to be 
here awhile."

"Actually, Ziyal and I are due back on Cardassia Prime," Garak said. During the 
conversation he'd drifted over to stand in her embrace.

"Are we truly finished here, Elim? I thought you believed you still had 
responsibilities to Chakotay." Ziyal's expression reflected her concern as she 
gazed at her husband.

"Chakotay has released me from them." The Cardassian's eyes held an echo of 
surprise. "He is a most remarkable man."

"Yes he is," Sisko murmured in agreement, then briskly walked to the center of 
the room and announced, "Kassidy and I are heading out as well."

"But you can't. We still don't know what will happen with the Admiral." Sue's 
protest was more disbelieving than angry.

"I'm sure that Chakotay doesn't want us to stand around, wringing our hands." 
Sisko smiled at the wide-eyed woman. "In fact, he so much as told us so. I have 
cargo that needs to be transported to my compound so renovations can begin."

Kassidy added, "Don't worry, We'll be back."

"We all will," Kira said firmly. She jumped up, eagerness in every line. She 
looked around. "If everyone's ready, we'll head out in five."

Bariel smiled at her energy. "I suppose I have no choice in the matter?"

"Of course not. The Kai would have my head if I left you here." Kira shook her 
own. "Besides, I need you to keep reminding her that the guards are just doing 
their jobs."

"We'll let you know what happens," B'Elanna promised as farewells were 
exchanged.

In a few minutes, only Greg, Sue, Harry, B'Elanna and the Doc remained to keep 
vigil.

************************************************************

Jadzia breezed into the apartment she shared with Keiko, her arms full of 
daffodils. "Hi honey I'm home," she called out as she sped through the rooms 
toward the kitchen. Once there she laid the blossoms on the counter and started 
opening cabinets, seeking a particular vase.

"Hi Jadzia," Keiko said, walking into the room to offer a welcoming hug and 
kiss.

Jadzia pulled back, framing her lover's face with her hands as she searched 
solemn dark eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, her brows drawing together in 
concern.

"It's nothing, really." Keiko pulled back, then crouched to open the door to the 
corner storage space and pulled out just the one Jadzia wanted. "I guess I'm 
just feeling a little let down about Chakotay."

"I figured you'd gotten Kate's message when you skipped lunch." Jadzia took the 
water-filled vase from Keiko and began arranging the flowers. "You were reading 
his file again, weren't you?"

"Yes," Keiko admitted as she watched her lover and idly picked up a daffodil. 
She paused, her lips twisting in regret. "I just wish there was something more 
we could do. I keep thinking about him lying there, paralyzed and in pain."

The Trill nodded to herself; she'd suspected as much. "Keiko, that isn't 
anybody's fault except the Emperor's. We did the best we could for Chakotay. 
He's awake---he's *alive*. Now he's got to find his own way of dealing with the 
restrictions on that life."

She saw Keiko nod out of the corner of her eye. The movement was unconvincing to 
say the least. She laid down the rest of the blossoms and turned to gather the 
woman into her arms. Light eyes bore into dark. "Keiko, it's out of our hands. 
We've tried everything we could think of to improve his condition; nothing's 
worked. It's time to let go and give someone else a chance to help."

"I know, I know, really," Keiko said, wrapping her hands around Jadzia's waist. 
"It's just that Kate's plan is such a long-shot."

"Not Kate's plan, Chakotay's," Jadzia reminded. "If he thinks this is the way to 
go then we just have to support him as best we can. It's out of our hands. We 
have to wish him well and move on."

Keiko smiled and expressed her thanks in a kiss. "I'll try to remember that. But 
I don't think I'll be completely successful until I find out if it works or 
not."

"You and me both," Jadzia conceded with a sigh. She released her companion and 
picked up a flower, gesturing for emphasis. "But we're not going to drive 
ourselves crazy with waiting." She bopped Keiko's nose with the daffodil. "Even 
if I have to distract you with sex."

Keiko laughed and swatted Jadzia with her own flower. "The sacrifices you make 
on my behalf," she mocked.

"It is amazing, isn't it?" Jadzia winked, relieved. She knew from her symbiont's 
long life experience that whatever would happen, would happen.

There was nothing they could do now. Except hope.

***************

Megan and Jenny Delaney got their lunches from the replicators and turned to 
find a seat in Voyager's dining room. Seeing Dalby and Henley sitting with their 
heads together, the twins made a beeline for their table.

"Okay, guys," Megan said as she slid into a chair, "what's the scoop?"

"Yeah," Jenny chimed in, "cough it up."

Both bridge officers leaned back and focused on their meals. Mariah raised her 
brows. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh please, Mariah, don't even try playing innocent with us." Jenny shook her 
head. "Your wet-behind-the ears crewmen may fall for that routine, but we know 
you, remember?"

Ken chuckled. "They've got you there."

"And we also know *you*, Ken. I bet you not only know who our mysterious 
passengers will be, but also why we're breaking Warp 9 on our way to pick them 
up." Megan nudged him with an elbow. "So give."

"Okay, okay." Ken shifted to avoid the sharp jab. "But you've got to keep this 
quiet, understand?" His eyes were serious as he regarded his companions. "I know 
you love gossip, but don't spread this around. It's important."

"You have our word," Jenny said quietly, picking up on her friends' gravity. 
Megan nodded her agreement.

Ken looked to Mariah, who shrugged and leaned forward on her elbows. "Captain 
Cavit got a Priority message straight from Admiral Riker this morning. 
Apparently Admiral Chakotay's resurfaced, but in really bad shape."

Twin pairs of eyes opened wide. "Where is he?" Megan asked.

"What's wrong with him?" Jenny chimed in.

"We don't know." Ken took up the story. "But apparently one of his doctors on 
Earth put in a request for someone to come ASAP to Dorvan V. *Two people* 
agreed. Five seconds later Joe Carey was ordering Captain Ransom to make all 
speed to a rendezvous with us."

Mariah shrugged. "And as soon as the passengers are transferred, we're zipping 
straight to Chakotay's home planet." She frowned. "The Admiral must be pretty 
bad if we're burning dilithium like this."

"Any word on who these miracle workers are?" Megan propped her chin in her hand.

"Nope. But I'm sure we'll know soon enough." Ken glanced at his chronometer. 
"C'mon Henley, we'd better get to the bridge. We should be in sensor range 
soon."

"Thanks for satisfying our curiosity," Jenny smiled at them, but her eyes were 
somber. "And don't worry, mum's the word."

***************

Wynn gritted her teeth and leaned against the rough stone wall of a nondescript 
alley, catching her breath. Her feet were sore, along with the rest of her aging 
bones.

She was being hunted.

Or, more accurately, the secret stash of Cardassian poison in her pocket was.

The call from Jaro Essa had come through a few hours ago. She'd known the 
situation had to be desperate if he was willing to risk comm traffic.

It was. Somehow Bajoran Security forces had managed to figure out a way to scan 
for the rare toxin. They were sweeping the main cities on the planet, trying to 
find the illegal substance---and its owner.

Wynn had been lucky: the searchers were limited to hand-held sensors. They had 
to be practically on top of the stuff for it to register.

So all she had to do was keep out of range, and find a way to circle back to her 
hiding place after she was sure it had been thoroughly swept by the 
investigative teams.

Wynn frowned in annoyance as she loosened her collar. She'd have unloaded the 
stuff by now if Jaro had been less intractable a negotiator. He refused to give 
her access to the corridors of power. She was demanding a post in his cabinet in 
exchange for the guarantee that Jaro would become First Minister.

He just wanted to pay her off and have her slink back into the shadows.

Her eyes narrowed as she drew herself up, preparing to continue her evasions, 
her mind busy with plots and plans.

Perhaps it was time to show the stiff-necked Minister just how unwise it was to 
cross her---and how vulnerable he really was.

***************

For what seemed a moment set out of time, Tom just stared. Silently drinking in 
the sight of Chakotay, a need so long denied. The bed the older man was lying on 
had been adjusted so he was sitting, the covers rumpled at his waist. His eyes 
were closed.

Tom was surprised Chakotay wasn't wearing pajamas or a typical hospital gown. 
Then again, it was a relief to reassure himself that the bronze skin was whole, 
free of the bruises and cuts delivered before that last bout in the arena. He 
focused on Chakotay's hands, lying open on the blanket. As if just waiting for 
Tom's own to wrap around them.

His first step whispered against the rug, startling brown eyes open. Shock 
widened them a moment as Chakotay's gaze locked with his. Then Tom winced to see 
his beloved's body tighten in rejection. The firm jaw clenched, the powerful 
shoulders stiffened, and those strong, gentle fingers curled into unwelcoming 
fists.

"You shouldn't be here," Chakotay said flatly, holding back the pain his 
response to Tom's presence evoked.

"You're wrong, Chakotay. This is exactly where I need to be." Tom hurried 
forward, fingers already reaching out. He froze when he saw Chakotay try to 
flinch away. The former gladiator, once all predatory grace, was only able to 
lurch a centimeter or two. Chakotay's clumsy attempt at escape had been 
accompanied by an unmistakable expression of fear, quickly hidden.

"No, Tom." Chakotay formed each word precisely, struggling for control. He 
desperately wished he could make some gesture of warding against the ache---more 
than just physical---building within him. He devoured the sight of his love, 
noting the weariness dulling the normally bright blue eyes and bruising the skin 
beneath them. "I have my reasons. Please, do as I ask. Leave now. Leave Dorvan."

Tom started forward again, this time his palms raised in a placating gesture. 
"Easy, I won't touch you," he reassured softly as he remembered the Doc 
describing Chakotay's condition. The full-blown bear hug Tom had instinctively 
wanted to bestow would have had Chakotay howling in agony. He eased onto the 
very edge of the bed, careful not to brush the blanket-covered legs. "But I need 
to know why you're shutting me out."

Chakotay forced his attention elsewhere, unable to bear the pleading gaze. He 
could feel his chest starting to tighten, his breath coming faster. He squeezed 
his eyes shut as the horrible trapped sensation washed over him. He had to get 
Tom out of here---now. He forced a coldness into his voice; the harshness was a 
result of his drying throat. "I prefer to deal with this...situation on my own. 
I don't need---I don't *want* you here."

"You're lying." Tom leaned forward, trying to see beyond the mask of 
indifference. "You told me you loved me, Chakotay. You're not a man to say that 
lightly, even when you think you're dying." He flinched at the sudden anguish in 
Chakotay's eyes.

"I'm *still* dying, but slowly now." Chakotay's chest started heaving, pain 
underlying his words. "So very slowly. Right now I'm nothing more than a talking 
corpse." He took refuge in anger. "And I don't need you to hold my hand or blow 
my nose or wipe my ass for me. So just get out and let me be." He couldn't 
suppress a small gasp as the nerves in his neck and back punished him for the 
tension tightening them. He was sinking, drowning...his hands started trembling.

"You're *not* dying!" Tom surged to his feet in protest. His fingers clenched to 
keep from shaking sense into Chakotay.

"Maybe I wish I was!" That truth struck home. Chakotay could see Tom's face 
blank and pale in shock even as his own body began to shudder and sweat through 
a full-blown panic attack. He strangled his cries of agony in his throat, unable 
to do more than sit and suffer and wait for it to end.

Tom reared back, disbelief striking him speechless. How could Chakotay say that-
--*think* that? Tom had hoped for years,, waited a third of his life to be with 
Chakotay. And now the man he'd risked everything for wanted to....

Something in him just snapped, stretched too tightly by all that he'd gone 
through. "You bastard!" Tom shouted. Pain ripped through Tom's soul, sparking a 
rage born of fear and betrayal.

His lips curled into a snarl as he launched himself onto the bed. His arms 
snapped out to land on either side of Chakotay's head. He leaned in close, 
biting out every word. "You aren't going anywhere---certainly not to the happy 
hunting grounds, or wherever the hell else you think your spirit winds up."

He was spitting into Chakotay's face, uncaring of the older man's obvious 
distress. How *dare* he? was the only thought that blazed through his brain. 
"Suicide is *not* an option, mister, so you can get that thought right out of 
your head. I have not moved heaven and earth to keep you alive just so you could 
say Sayonara the second things got tough." He shoved his face close enough to 
see his own reflection in Chakotay's eyes. "I saved you---your life is *mine*."

Chakotay's voice thrummed with intensity, each word knife-sharp. "Then the 
universe hasn't changed one bit, has it *master*? All I've done is gone from 
being Sisko's property to yours."

Tom stopped breathing for a moment. He stared, silent, then slowly lifted 
himself off the bed. He felt as though the wind, the heart had been knocked out 
of him. Is that what he was doing? Forcing an unbearable existence on Chakotay 
because he couldn't bear to live without his love? He stumbled back one step, 
another, his mouth working but no sounds coming out.

Chakotay could barely breathe; the pressure in his chest increased. The silence 
in the room was eerily like the aftermath of battle, heavy with exhaustion and 
regret. He watched the man he loved struggle to recover from his cutting words, 
and fail. Chakotay's apology congealed into a lump in his throat, choking him.

Horror continued to wash through Tom. In that moment he felt as though he'd 
never be himself again. He'd spend the rest of his days in this shell-shocked 
fog, hopelessly searching for the reason things went so wrong, so suddenly. He 
turned to go.

Chakotay was jolted from his own fugue by the sight of Tom leaving his room. He 
knew in that instant that the wounded younger man would be exiting his life as 
well. Forever.

He should feel relief, that his plan to free Tom from any sense of obligation 
had succeeded. At the time he believed it was for the best. Chakotay didn't want 
to be Tom's burden any longer.

But in that instant Chakotay knew that he had underestimated Tom's commitment. 
Maybe even the depth of his feelings. Tom was in this with his whole heart, for 
the long haul. And Tom couldn't pull away without losing some essential piece of 
himself in the process. If Chakotay forced Tom to leave, he would be destroying 
something---someone---precious and rare.

And if he let their bond break now, it would never be mended. Chakotay truly 
believed something inside both men would die at the parting. In the end, he 
couldn't do it. He finally understood what his guide had been trying to tell 
him. Tom was the other half of his soul. Chakotay wasn't alone. He never had 
been.

Chakotay struggled to form a word, a sound, but his agitation was sending waves 
of pain coursing through his body. He watched, hopelessness and horror 
overwhelming him, as Tom took another step. And he couldn't lift a finger to 
stop him.

***************

Tom was shuffling toward the door, head down. He was almost to his destination 
when there was a horrible crash and thud behind him. He whirled, startled.

Chakotay was face down on the floor, his legs twisted in sheets and blankets, 
one arm flung out as if reaching for something. From the rhythmic jerks of the 
bowed shoulders, Tom knew Chakotay was crying. Oh so quietly, soft, broken 
sounds of utter despair.

His own eyes blurring and stinging, Tom flung himself to his knees beside the 
shaking body. His fingers hovered, uncertain where to land. He lowered himself 
until he was on his stomach, mirroring Chakotay's position. "Chakotay?" he 
whispered, their fingers almost brushing.

***************

Chakotay was too late. He'd tried so hard, to call out to Tom, to bring him 
back, to explain. But returning panic had robbed him of his voice. In 
desperation he'd used all the strength he'd had to raise his arm.

Perhaps it was a side effect of all the emotional upheaval, or some unexpected 
burst of adrenaline. Chakotay managed to lean forward, only to over-balance and 
land hard on the floor.

As he felt the pain wash through him he knew he'd failed. Tom was gone. Again, 
he'd lost all he loved because of his own arrogance. He should have tried to 
make Tom understand instead of arguing with him. Verbally attacking him.

Now he had lost Tom forever, and he had only himself to blame. The tears burned, 
but he let them fall.

It was the only thing he could do.

Then the sound of his name penetrated his grief. He lifted his head, barely, to 
see Tom lying in front of him. Not gone from the room. Not out of his life. 
Still with him. He stared, his breath hitching.

Tom suddenly remembered something his guide had said. He swallowed and gathered 
his courage to offer love in a form he never before conceived, or understood. 
"Cha, I love you...if you can't...live like this, then...." He stopped, choked, 
but finished, "Then it's your choice. I'll let you go."

Chakotay blinked. His brow furrowed, and with a last effort he shoved his hand 
to close the distance to Tom's. He felt the long fingers curl around his, 
cradling. He could see what that gift had cost Tom. It was clear in his 
devastated face.

He struggled to speak. He had to make Tom realize how much those words meant to 
him. His own voice was barely audible. "Tom...Tom. I love you. I *can* live, 
like this. I have...hope things will get better. But I need you to understand. 
This body...it can't be my cage. I---I need that open door...a final exit. Or I 
won't be able to last another day, much less a lifetime."

Chakotay focused, ignoring the pain, and squeezed his fingers ever so slightly. 
"I choose to stay, Tom. To fight for a life...with you."

They lay there a moment, joined only by their eyes and that simple touch, 
silently exchanging apologies, and forgiveness, and promises.

Tom let his lids close, his body sag. He breathed out all the dark feelings that 
had filled his soul during this terrible time, reveling in the warmth of 
Chakotay's hand. But he knew even this simple contact was causing his love pain. 
With a last brush of fingers he opened his eyes and let Chakotay go. "I'll get 
the Doc." He hesitated, bit his lip. "Cha?"

"Yes?"

"Garak talked to his wife about responsibilities, and consequences." He focused 
on Chakotay's face. "He offered to kill you, didn't he?"

Chakotay's reply was solemn. "Yes. He had hoped that I wouldn't be...as bad off 
as the Cardassians were. When the Doc gave his prognosis, Garak felt that it was 
his fault...and he thought that helping me to the Other Side was the only way 
to...make amends."

"Why didn't you take him up on his offer?" Tom felt his whole being go still as 
he waited for the answer.

"Because I wouldn't force that duty on anyone, and because it's not my time. Not 
yet. There could be help...a chance for a normal life...on the way." Chakotay 
fell silent, exhausted but content. He had shared the important information. The 
details should arrive in person soon enough.

It was comforting to know that Tom would be by Chakotay's side for the next step 
of this strange odyssey his life had become. It was where Tom belonged. Always. 
He understood that now. Chakotay closed his eyes and tried to relax, entrusting 
himself to Tom's care.

Tom smiled. "Computer, release lockout Paris Alpha Omega and summon the EMH." He 
straightened his shoulders, lifted his head. He loved Chakotay. Chakotay loved 
him. Tom was himself again.

He could sense a renewal of sorts in Chakotay as well, despite the pain and 
fatigue etched on his beloved's face. "The Doc will be here soon," he whispered, 
then just waited quietly beside Chakotay, at peace.

There was hope for the future. And they would face whatever came---together.

TBC