LASTING IMPRESSION

Title: Lasting Impression, 1/1
Author: Jaye (Copyright March 2002)
Sequel to "Second Impression" by Vyola
Code: VOY C/P NC-17

Disclaimer: Star Trek, Voyager and all related characters
and concepts are the property of Paramount. No infringement
is intended or profit made. This is NC-17 for m/m sex. If
you aren't interested (or aren't old enough), don't read it.

Archive: Drop me a line first to let me know where it's
going. Please keep the text (especially the disclaimer)
intact.

Feedback: Sure, but this is my very first fanfic (and first
slash) so be kind, or at least constructive. E-mail is
reader8901@fastmail.fm

This story is an unanticipated sequel to Vyola's "Second
Impression," found at
http://www.geocities.com/ladyvyola/voyager/SecondImpression.
html
You should definitely read that story first or you won't
have a clue what's going on.

***************

PART ONE

Tom sighed and looked down at his half-full plate, then
grimly shoveled in another mouthful. Neelix had already
prepared a tray for him, so the pilot sat down to eat before
Harry and B'Elanna even had a chance to pick up their
utensils. He decided he needed all his strength to face the
bridge now that he'd decided to have his "conversation" with
the Commander. He sighed again. He still didn't have a clue
about how to even begin the promised discussion, much less
get Chakotay to understand how he really felt. Tom couldn't
shake the certainty that what happened next would determine
his fate: living---or, he shuddered, if things went
badly---just surviving for the rest of his life.

"You look like you're fortifying yourself for quite an
ordeal. With Neelix's cooking, no less."

Tom looked up to see Commander Chakotay standing at his
table, and looked past the broad shoulders to see B'Elanna
and Harry absorbed in a conversation with Neelix and Kes.
Pointedly *not* looking at them.

"Commander----"

"Just a moment, Lieutenant." Chakotay took a deep breath,
then his full lips quirked as he gave the seated man a wry
smile. "My great-grandmother used to say that the only true
remedy for public stupidity is a public apology." His gaze
encompassed their quiet corner of the half-filled room.
"While she believed that meant the entire village, I think
this is about as much of an audience as I can handle. May
I?" He gestured to the seat across from the blond.

Tom simply swallowed and nodded, not trusting his voice. He
hadn't really been one on one with Chakotay since the night
in the lounge, and now he couldn't seem to take his eyes off
the older man. As always, there was an almost palpable aura
about Chakotay, a warmth and vitality that drew the eye and
made everything else around him dull and pale in comparison.
The quick smile that brought out the too-rarely-seen dimples
in the bronze cheeks also didn't help Tom's composure any.

Chakotay settled himself and folded his hands, staring at
them a moment before looking up again at Tom Paris. He had
been studiously avoiding those blue eyes since their
passionate encounter, but now he looked straight into the
sapphire depths, recognizing anew the hummingbird's bright
raiment in the gold-dusted hair and red uniform. He noted
the bland mask automatically sliding into place on the face
across from him, but now he could also see the wariness in
Tom's expression, the tightness in the soft mouth and the
shoulders tensed for a verbal blow. A mental sigh and shake
of Chakotay's head accompanied the realization of just how
much damage his thoughtlessness had caused.

"I'm sorry about what I said the other night in Sandrine's,
Tom. My accusations were unfair and untrue. You are a fine
officer and a loyal friend. I twisted the confidences you
shared with me into lies and in doing so, betrayed a trust."
Chakotay's eyes remained steady while his voice, soft and
sincere, dropped even lower. "They say first impressions are
hard to shake. I'm sorry that in my anger, I forgot who you
really are and again reacted to the uncaring brat I mistook
you for all those years ago. Please, forgive me."

Tom was speechless with shock. He'd been too caught up in
their private dealings to even bother with the sting caused
by Chakotay's accusations during their public scene. Then he
recalled his own words to Harry and knew that Chakotay's
sense of honor would not allow the him to just sweep the
matter under the rug, despite what had followed. Tom was
uncertain how to respond; he could practically feel the air
between them crackling with intensity. Despite the fact that
no one could hear them, every person in the Mess Hall seemed
to be poised, waiting for his reaction. Tom wasn't quite
able to read the expression in the dark eyes across from
him, but he couldn't bring himself to deliver his typical
Flyboy shrug and smart remark.

After a long moment, Chakotay broke the connection by
shifting and grinning with remembered laughter. "My
great-grandmother used to let us know we were forgiven by
saying 'All right then' and smacking us on the back of the
head. I hope you'll be a little less vigorous in your
response."

Tom blinked again and had a sudden vision of fitting the tip
of his tongue into each of those adorable dimples. Flushing
with equal parts desire and embarrassment, he cleared his
throat and hastily dropped his eyes back to his rapidly
cooling meal. "All right then," he said softly.

Chakotay relaxed slightly. First hurdle cleared. "Thank you.
Hopefully, the crew will find something to divert their
attention in the next few days." He gave Tom a rueful look.
"I don't know how you can be so comfortable in the
spotlight. I have to admit I don't like being considered a
source of entertainment." Chakotay moved to stand.

Tom felt a sudden surge of panic at the thought that things
would just go back to the way they had been. He desperately
gripped Chakotay's wrist to stop him from leaving.
"Chakotay, I---"

Chakotay's eyes were drawn to the way the black uniform
sleeve framed Tom's long, elegant hand, the hand
that...Chakotay hastily looked up and felt himself captured
by the vulnerability in the naked gaze below his. He felt he
was stepping off a cliff into the unknown. "You said I
should let you know when I wished to discuss...more private
matters." Chakotay looked down again, suddenly shy. "I have
a holodeck reserved for Friday at 2000. Perhaps we could
talk some more then." He pulled away and left the Mess Hall,
managing to nod and smile at the quartet of conspirators
before he swiftly made his exit.

/Just breathe, Tommyboy. In, Out. In, Out./ His attention
was caught by Harry Kim sliding into the seat the Commander
just vacated. "Tom, Tom, what happened? You look like you
just got hit with a phaser."

"Chakotay. He apologized. For what he said at Sandrine's.
It's so completely unexpected, I think stunned is the right
word for it. He---he wants to talk again---privately---in a
few days." Tom's expression was equal parts elation and
panic. "That's a good sign, isn't it? What do you think,
Harry? What's he going to say? What should I do?"

"Easy, Tom. Just finish your meal, get cleaned up and go to
the Bridge. You know, we still have a job to do." Harry had
never seen Tom so tense and tried to reassure his friend.
"And be yourself---not that wiseass you show to everyone
else. If it's meant to happen, it will."

Tom's voice was so quiet Harry barely heard it. "It has to,
Harry. I don't know if I can come so close and then lose
him."

The Ensign put on his sternest expression. "Then don't worry
about it. But you don't have a lot of time, and you're not
leaving here without an empty plate. So eat up." Harry
gestured to the others, who started over to the table. Harry
smiled at his friend. "And don't worry about the gossip,
Tom. We'll spread the word that the Commander apologized and
you waved the whole thing off. It'll be business as usual in
no time."

B'Elanna chimed in. "Right, Tom. We'll think of a way to
start them talking about something else." She caught Harry's
eye. "Whatever it takes." Harry gulped.

***************

The entire crew of the USS Voyager waited with bated breath
for the next development in the soap-opera saga of the
bridge crew.

After Chakotay's apology to Tom in the Mess Hall, tensions
had eased and the bridge regained its relaxed atmosphere.
Tom was back to teasing---some would now call it flirting
with---the Commander, but for some reason the older man
wasn't rising to the bait. He simply smiled indulgently or
gently bantered back, but seemed to completely ignore the
new sexual undertones of the pilot's remarks. It was as if
he would let himself be amused by the pilot, but not aroused
by him. As the days passed, the Commander had reclaimed his
reputation as a warm and caring officer to the crew at
large, but Tom was beside himself with frustration.

"It's driving me crazy, Harry. It's as if that night never
happened. He's acting like a friend---a really witty and
wonderful one---but that's not enough. I'm ready to throw
myself at him again, but this time I think he would just
grin and applaud." As if to demonstrate, Tom's long lanky
form aggressively sprawled full length on the Observation
Lounge couch. Harry wisely chose to perch on a chair nearby.

"Well, Tom, maybe he's waiting until you're in private.
After all, he only apologized a few days ago. The crew is
still panting for more excitement, and they think you two
will provide it. The Commander probably won't make a move
until he knows he won't have an audience."

"But what can we do about that? I don't think I can wait
months for all this to die down."

"B'Elanna and I did come up with a kind of plan---we just
didn't want to use it unless we were desperate. You
certainly sound like you are."

The blond looked at him dubiously. "What is it, Harry? What
could throw everyone off the scent? It's got to be pretty
spectacular."

Harry blushed. "We, uh, that is, B'Elanna and I---we thought
we'd pretend to start dating. That's got to be at least as
interesting as you and Chakotay."

Tom's eyes opened wide as he gave a long whistle. "Wow,
that's a pretty powerful combination, Harry. You and
B'Elanna and romance and sex." He shook his head in wonder.
"That certainly would do the trick." Blue eyes sought out
brown. "You sure you want to do this?"

Harry shifted in his seat. "Sure. B'El and I talked it over,
and it shouldn't be too hard. We'll start tomorrow, so on
Friday while you're having your talk with the Commander,
everyone will be watching us in Sandrine's for Act Two of
our story."

Tom sat up and clapped a hand to Harry's shoulder. "Thanks,
to both of you. It's a lot to ask, and if it were anything
else---"

"You wouldn't accept it. I know, Tom, love makes you dare
anything." He looked at his friend. "Just don't blow it this
time, huh?"

Tom simply nodded.

************************************************************
************************************************************

PART TWO

Sigh. /The best-laid plans.../ Tom thought as he settled
into a chair, folded his arms on the biobed and rested his
chin on them. He stared at Chakotay's sleeping form,
watching the rise and fall of his breath and scrutinizing
what he could see of the regenerated bronze flesh. Tom
reached out a hand and gently laid it against a muscled
shoulder, noting the contrast of his pale fingers against
the Commander's warmer coloring. He gently stroked the older
man's skin, remembering the blood and burns of just a few
short hours ago.

Everything had been going so well. Harry and B'Elanna had
started actively flirting in the Mess Hall and Sandrine's,
and the crew quickly shifted their attention to this new
Starfleet-Maquis pairing. Chakotay continued to be warm and
friendly, even if he still wasn't displaying any of the
smoldering sensuality that fueled Tom's memories and dreams.

Then the accident happened. There were some odd plasma-flow
readings in one of the conduits, and the Captain had decided
to test her officers' newfound camaraderie by assigning the
Lieutenant and Commander to "brush up on their engineering
skills" by investigating. The two had just crawled out of a
Jeffries tube to more closely examine the tricorder and
diagnostic readings when an odd whooshing sound started
echoing in the accessway behind Tom. In a flash Chakotay had
grabbed the taller man's waist and swung him around to
safety. Unfortunately, before the Commander himself could
move completely into the clear, the panel behind them
exploded, the blast sending debris crashing into Chakotay's
back while flames licked at edges of his uniform.
Engineering shut down the overload as soon as the alarms
sounded. Tom yelled for a medical transport, frantically
beating at the smoking patches on the unconscious man's
clothing. This time, Tom had escaped without a scratch.

Several anxious hours and the healing of three cracked ribs,
a punctured lung and some second-degree burns later,
Chakotay was as good as new, simply kept overnight for
sedative-enhanced sleep and observation. Tom wondered what
Chakotay would say if he knew the pilot planned to keep
vigil over him until morning---if he could just outmaneuver
the doctor. Tom jumped and hastily jerked his hand from the
sleeping form when he felt a light touch on his own
shoulder. He turned to see a concerned Captain.

"How is he?"

"The Doc said he can be released in the morning and will be
cleared for full duty four days after that."

Janeway assessed the pilot's demeanor and decided to lighten
the atmosphere a little. She gave her trademark lopsided
grin. "You know, he saves your life one more time and you'll
be even."

Tom met her eyes, and she was surprised by the seriousness
of his expression. "We're even now, Captain." He turned back
to the bed and lightly touched the Commander's hair. "To be
honest, he saved my life before we ever got to the Delta
Quadrant," he said softly.

"How?" she asked as she settled a hip against the edge of
the bed.

"When we met, I was everything Chakotay had always thought I
was: a drunk, washed-out excuse for a Starfleet fuck-up."
Tom's voice was matter-of-fact. "If he hadn't come to me
with the offer to fly, I would probably have started selling
myself for money for alcohol, and drugs weren't too far
behind."

He turned to meet the Captain's concerned gaze. "Chakotay
was everything I wasn't: honorable, dedicated, caring. Even
in all the hell the Maquis dealt with every day---the
refugees, the prison camps, the danger and deprivation---he
still cared. About his crew, about the strangers he helped.
And---though he'd never admit it---he cared about me. He
gave me time to dry out, food, safety, money to pay my
debts, a place to belong again. And he took a chance on me.
He trusted me to fly for him." His eyes dropped. "Nobody had
done that for a long time."

Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I realized that
I wanted to be worthy of that trust. I saw that even though
his homeworld and his life were destroyed, Chakotay didn't
turn into a self-pitying drunk. He took a stand and made a
difference. I wanted to do that too." He looked again at the
still figure on the bed. "It just took longer than I
expected to make him see that."

"He sees it now, Tom," Janeway said, again resting her hand
on his shoulder. "And maybe he'll come to see how much you
love him, and how he loves you."

"I hope so, Captain. I truly hope so."

************************************************************
************************************************************

"So what's the verdict?"

"It's working like a charm. People are so anxious to see if
we can get together, they're completely ignoring Tom and
Chakotay. I didn't think it would take this long, though."
Harry tried to keep the glee out of his voice as he looked
across the desk at his co-conspirator. He wasn't ready to
admit that now that he and B'Elanna had started "dating," he
didn't want the charade to end. In fact, he wanted much
more.

"Well, Starfleet, we've got to keep the crowd interested.
Maybe we should 'up the ante,' as Tom says." B'Elanna hoped
she didn't sound too eager.

"What do you mean?"

"Chakotay has reserved a holodeck on Sunday---and he doesn't
know *I've* added a few extra hours to his time so he won't
be disturbed. We have to do something to make people so
interested in us they don't get wind of his plans. I
thought, if you want to, we could get caught necking in
Sandrine's or something."

"Kissing? Are you sure you want to go that far, Maquis?"

"Sure, it's for a good cause."

"True, but we need to practice first. We have to seem like
we're really together."

B'Elanna's cheeks warmed. "Okay. When do you want to start?"

"The sooner the better." Harry stood and walked over to his
fellow conspirator, who rose to meet him. He carefully laid
his hands on either side of B'Elanna's face and gently
stroked her ridges with his fingertips. He closed his eyes
as his lips met the soft warmth of B'Elanna's. As two mouths
opened to deepen the kiss, two hearts recognized their mates
and two minds held one thought: /Yes./

***************

Kes lightly draped her arms around Neelix's neck and looked
over his shoulder as he sat before the terminal in their
quarters. "Can you really make sure the Commander doesn't
know we switched our holodeck time to him?"

Neelix patted the hands resting on his chest. "Of course,
sweeting. I'll reserve a slot in my name, and just instruct
the computer *not* to activate the usual "end of session"
warnings. Then we just don't show up to interrupt our two
lovebirds." He turned the console off with a beep and leaned
back to look into his beloved's beautiful face. He began
stroking her arms lightly. "I'm sure we can think of
somewhere else to go to pass the time."

The Ocampan's expression turned dreamy. "I've been thinking
about the Airponics Bay. The roses are in bloom..." Her
voice trailed off as she bent to steal a kiss.

***************

If anyone had glimpsed Kathryn Janeway's face at this moment
they would have been convinced she possessed more feline
qualities than just the first syllable of her name. She was
almost purring as she deftly typed with one hand and lazily
swirled her coffee with the other. She quickly approved the
command to add some extra time to Chakotay's holodeck
reservation---without him knowing, of course. There were
advantages to having a security code that could only be
overridden by someone of higher rank. And fortunately, there
wasn't an Admiral in sight.

***************

Tuvok was *not* pleased. Self-satisfaction was an emotion,
after all. Still, he couldn't deny a sense of accomplishment
at utilizing his stealth skills to ensure no calls reached
the holodeck on Sunday. The Commander and Lieutenant would
not be disturbed until they had resolved their distracting
emotional entanglement. Restored, and perhaps improved,
bridge efficiency would be a logical result.

************************************************************
************************************************************

PART THREE

Promptly at 1900 hours on Sunday, Tom shuffled his feet on
the carpet before the doors to Holodeck One. He nervously
smoothed the cream silk shirt over his black jeans, then ran
a hand through his hair. /Now or never/ he thought as he
rang the chime, spoke his name and the doors opened for him.

He stepped into a living cavern created by some densely
packed elms, ferns and bushes. Several large plants seemed
to screen an exit, and the thick foliage overhead muted the
light to a soft green glow. Tom gently moved aside the
fronds, and stepped into full sunlight. He gasped at the
view before him.

He was in a forest clearing. His senses were tantalized by
the earthy scents, the soft kiss of the breeze, and the
chatter of a nearby stream.

He walked through the trees, pausing to feel the texture of
the bark, watching the sunlight dance between the leaves and
along the banks of flowers that were scattered among the
grasses.

Tom was awed by the feeling of peace, of rightness, that
pervaded the glen. His reverie was shattered by a sudden
buzzing in his ear. He jumped and turned to see a
hummingbird dart past him, then return to hover a moment in
front of him before flying off.

"I see you've met your counterpart." The velvet voice caused
Tom to whirl again, this time to see Chakotay step around a
tree into a patch of sunlight. Tom caught his breath at the
sight: Chakotay was barefoot and bare-chested, dressed only
in loose-fitting trousers and a pair of woven armbands. The
play of light along the smooth skin caused Tom's mouth to go
dry with longing. He looked into unreadable dark eyes. "My
counterpart?"

"Please have a seat, Tom, and I'll explain." Chakotay
settled onto the grassy bank and patted the spot beside him.
Tom stopped to remove his shoes and socks, then dangled his
toes into the cool clear water. "Chakotay, this place is
beautiful. Where is it? Dorvan V?"

"Not exactly, Tom." Chakotay turned to meet the puzzled blue
eyes, "This place, and what I'm about to tell you...they're
very private things. I wouldn't be sharing them with you if
I didn't know I could trust you to keep my secrets."

Tom felt the prickle of tears. "Thank you, Cha." He didn't
even notice the shortening of the name. "That means more to
me than you could imagine."

Chakotay drank in the sight of the beautiful face before
him. Then he gave a brief, uncertain smile, and broke the
intense moment with a gesture at the woodland scene. "This
place doesn't really exist on Dorvan V, or anywhere else.
It's...me, in a way. My inner self. It's where I meet my
spirit guide." As Tom's wide-eyed gaze again took in the
beauty surrounding the men, Chakotay hastened to add, "It
didn't always look like this. When I was in the Maquis it
was a pretty barren place. What you see, that only developed
after we ended up in the Delta Quadrant."

"I'm glad you shared this, Cha, but I don't understand what
this---and that bird---have to do with me."

"I wasn't aware of the connection myself until recently. The
bird---it's been here since we started our journey home. I
thought it represented Voyager: fragile, beautiful,
vulnerable, but also spirited, tough and determined."

Chakotay paused and looked at the water, suddenly shy. "That
night in the observation lounge, I almost understood---when
the sun lighted your frame---but then I got...distracted."
He took a quick breath and plunged on, "The next time I
meditated, this wilderness was a snowbound wasteland. I
thought the bird was dead, but it was still hanging on. As I
tried to revive it, I realized...it was you." Chakotay
glanced toward Tom, but the younger man stayed silent, his
expression shocked. "The color you often wear, your blond
hair, your blue eyes---it is you." Chakotay shifted,
"Apparently, you've been part of me for a long time, but I
didn't see it."

Tom leaned in, capturing the dark eyes. "Why not, Chakotay?
Why couldn't you see me?" Tom pleaded.

"I'm not sure. I've been thinking about it these last few
days, even sat in here today for a while, trying to figure
everything out. I---I'd never really considered men as
romantic possibilities. I entered the academy at 16. Before
that, I had the usual adventures with girls from the
village. As a cadet and an officer I had a few long-term
relationships. I was with a 'Fleet security officer for
three years; we broke up when I left to join the Maquis. And
later there was Seska, for a little while." Chakotay looked
at Tom. "When I met you, I felt...something...and I think it
shocked me. I lashed out at you in self-defense. But while I
didn't understand *why* I reacted to you the way I did, it
never once occurred to me that you were a potential lover."

Shock pushed Tom's questions out in a rush of breath. "So
the other night---you were a virgin? I was your first man?"

Chakotay swallowed. "Not exactly," he whispered, his eyes
shifting down to his hands.

"Oh shit, you were raped, weren't you. Who was it,
Cardassians?" When Chakotay just kept silent, eyes lowered,
Tom reached over to lift the man's chin and look deep into
the ebony eyes. "Please, Cha, tell me." He dropped his hand
and waited, hardly daring to breathe.

Chakotay's voice was strained. "It was just after you left
for your mission. Seska and I were returning from a supply
run when we were captured---ambushed---by a Cardassian
battle cruiser. We were separated for questioning. I...the
Gul who was in charge decided to let some of his men 'teach
the Maquis a lesson'. Every way they could. There were so
many..." Chakotay heaved a shuddering sigh; Tom could feel
the prickle of tears again, and waited tensely for the older
man to continue.

"After three days, they cleaned me up and healed all the
damage they'd done. The Gul said he wanted me fresh and
rested to begin his own private interrogation. While I was
in my cell, Seska broke me out. She said she'd been able to
knock out the doctor after her own 'repairs'." Chakotay
laughed bitterly. "She probably spent the entire time being
wined and dined, and convinced the Gul it would be more
useful to let us go back to our group. Maybe she even
watched---" Chakotay fell silent.

"And then I jump you in the observation lounge. I'm so
sorry, Cha---" Tom made to move away, but was stopped by a
hand on his thigh. He turned back to meet Chakotay's eyes,
which were surprisingly clear and warm.

"No, Tom, don't regret what happened. I don't." Chakotay
seemed to shake off his melancholy and smiled. "You had me
completely bowled over. By the time I realized what we were
heading for that night, I was enjoying it too much to freeze
up. You were nothing like what happened before." Chakotay
shrugged. "I should thank you. You helped me gain back part
of myself. Because of you, I know how good things can be."

Tom lifted his hand to stroke Chakotay's cheek. "It meant a
lot to me too."

A few moments later, Chakotay leaned back and finished his
tale. "We never told anyone what happened. That's how Seska
and I got together, actually. Two friends comforting each
other after the hell we'd been through." Chakotay met Tom's
eyes. "It was Seska who pointed out the coincidence: you
left, we fell into a trap. She kept bringing that up, even
after we heard you were captured." Chakotay reached out to
take Tom's hand. "I'm sorry I couldn't let those false
beliefs go. When we met again, I guess whatever attraction I
felt I channeled into anger at the traitor I thought you
were."

"So what happens now, Cha?"

Chakotay dropped Tom's hand and shifted away from the
slimmer form, suddenly uncomfortable. "I don't know. You're
a good man, I see that now. I know I want to be your friend,
if you'll let me."

Tom was torn. On the one hand, he wanted this man's respect
and friendship, but on the other, he wanted Chakotay's mind,
heart, soul, delectable hard body---the way he had lost
himself to the Maquis captain a long time ago. His voice was
sure, "That's not enough, Chakotay. Not for me."

Chakotay too was feeling the pressure; the words seemed
wrenched from him. "I have feelings for you, but I'm afraid
I'll end up hurting you." Chakotay started to move away,
agitated. "I don't think this should go any farther. I don't
think I'm the right person for you."

Tom was reeling. Chakotay finally admitted his attraction to
the younger man; why was he holding back? Tom felt his heart
hammering, his breath hitch; he was nearly yelling as he
caught Chakotay's wrist. "Why not?"

Chakotay gently pried Tom's fingers loose. He knelt and put
his own hands on the silk-clad shoulders and turned the
blond to watch the beautiful bird. "Look at how free the
hummingbird is, Tom. He flits from flower to flower, always
moving, seeking. He never stops at just one. He can't;
that's not in his nature. That energy is part of you, Tom.
Maybe right now you're not meant to be tied to any one
person."

Chakotay dropped his hands from Tom's frame and looked him
in the eye. Tom could see both tenderness and uncertainty in
the serious gaze. "I'm afraid I would cage you somehow,
smother you with my demands." He anxiously continued, "At
least, that's the message *I* see---that I'm supposed to set
you free. But I know my first impressions are often wrong,
when it comes to you." Chakotay was struck by some thought
and suddenly jumped up and moved back, blushing. "I'm sorry.
I spring all this on you without any warning. You said you
wanted me, I should have stopped with that and not
assumed---"

"That I love you?" Tom had stood up as well and now backed
the shorter man into one of the broad trunks. He again
grabbed Chakotay's chin. Their gazes held for a dozen
heartbeats, then Tom spoke. "When I first saw you I wanted
you in my bed. When I sobered up I found you constantly on
my mind. When I lost you, I still felt you in my heart. When
I met you again, I realized I need you in my life. When I
touched you, I knew you were part of my soul."

Tom stepped into the cradle of Chakotay's braced legs and
clutched the muscled biceps. "The hummingbird *is* faithful,
Cha. No matter how far it roams, there is one place it
always returns. Where it feels safe and cherished, where it
chooses to be. Its home." Tom's voice was fierce. "You're my
home, Chakotay."

Chakotay had a sudden flashback to the cave, a few short
weeks ago. Of Tom's face, defiant and determined and afraid
to hope as he fought for Chakotay's life. He remembered how
shocked he had been at his own response to Tom's wild cries.
Now Chakotay understood; Tom had only claimed what was his.
There was nothing to fear. Tom loved Chakotay too much to
ever let him come to harm. He looked into the blazing blue
eyes of the man he loved and lifted one broad hand to cup a
flushed cheek. "Yours..." he whispered.

Tom desperately searched the face below his. "Mine?" Now he
was the one full of uncertainty. His deepest secret dreams
seemed about to come true, but he was too afraid to trust
it.

Chakotay winced to hear the question in Tom's voice. He made
a promise to himself to spend the rest of his life
convincing Tom that he was---what was it?---safe and
cherished, and of course, deeply, deeply loved. Chakotay
grinned as he contemplated the most pleasant duty he could
ever imagine, then sobered as he decided the next step to
take.

Tom drew a shaky breath as he saw the smile fade from
Chakotay's face. The older man pushed the pilot back a step.
His confusion deepened when Chakotay loosened the band on
his right arm and slid it off.

Chakotay rubbed his thumb against the material a moment
before he answered Tom's questioning gaze with somber brown
eyes. "Thomas Eugene Paris," Chakotay began, his voice as
solemn as the vow he was about to make. "I, Chakotay of
Dorvan V, do promise you my love for all my life. I welcome
you into my family and my tribe. I claim you as my husband
and helpmeet, and offer you myself to be the same. I ask you
to build a home with me, and walk beside me all my days." He
took a deep breath. "I love you, Tom." He offered the
armband to the silent figure before him.

Tom couldn't believe his ears, or his eyes. Chakotay had
just *proposed* to him. Proposed to *him*. Even in his
fantasies he never dared hope for so much. Now all Tom had
to do was accept. His fingers twitched, yearning for the
scrap of fabric, and he clenched his fists and his eyes shut
as his mind raced furiously.

/Isn't this too fast? Does Chakotay really love me, or is
this just some twisted guilt response to all we've been
through? Is it real?/ He opened up his eyes and looked at
the beautiful man in front of him. The man who was freely
offering his life, his heart, his love. Who had already
proven his trust, more profoundly than Tom had even guessed.
Okay, so the offer was sincere. Should he accept it?
Chakotay was everything Tom had ever wanted, but could Tom
be everything that Chakotay needed? Tom stared into dark
eyes shimmering with hope and fear, and thought /Yes. Love
will be more than enough./ They would both make sure of it.

Tom nervously cleared his throat and reverently joined his
hand to Chakotay's, closing the band within their clasp. His
stance was proud and voice sure as he made his own vow. "I,
Thomas Eugene Paris, do solemnly take you, Chakotay of
Dorvan V, to be my husband. To have and to hold, to honor
and cherish, in good times and in bad, for richer and for
poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others,
until death do us part." He swiftly slipped off his shirt
and secured the band on his left bicep. Tom looked at his
husband. "I love you, Chakotay."

***************

/Who would have thought the taste of blood could be so
arousing,/ Harry wondered as he delivered a delicate bite to
B'Elanna's lower lip. A glancing mark from her teeth made
the corner of his mouth throb just a little with every
heartbeat. "Wow," he breathed as he drew back and licked his
lips. B'Elanna struggled with her own composure as she
hastily sipped her beer. From its tepid temperature, they
must have lost track of time while they were kissing. Very
pleased with her chosen mate's responses so far, B'Elanna
grinned and grabbed Harry's hand. "C'mon, let's dance,
Starfleet." Harry groaned but gamely followed his feisty
partner to the floor. He saw all the interested glances, and
shook his head as he mused, "The things we do for love..."

***************

Neelix lightly stroked a pink rose against Kes's cheek,
startling the Ocamapan. "Neelix," she smiled. "Is it that
late already?"

"No, my dear." Neelix plopped down onto the bench by the
vines Kes was tending. "I just missed you, and wondered if
you needed any help."

"Well," she raised a delicate eyebrow, "you can start with a
privacy lock...."

***************

Kathryn Janeway was keeping her mind very firmly away from
the holodeck as she skimmed a novel before bed. It wouldn't
do at all for a proper Starfleet Captain to be thinking
about the private lives of her crew. The sex lives of her
crew. The sex lives of the two cutest members of her crew.
She sighed and decided to take a cold shower. Or maybe a
long hot bath.

***************

The setting sun gilded the two men as they stared at each
other for a long moment, their eyes locked in silent
communication. They stepped together. Tom's arms slid around
Chakotay's waist and his hands stroked the bronze back,
tracing the pattern the tree bark left on the smooth flesh.
Chakotay laid one hand on Tom's chest, feeling the
unfamiliar prickle of hair against his palm, and slid the
other into the soft blond waves at Tom's nape. Their breaths
mingled as their lips approached and hovered, anticipating,
then met. The tender kiss heated when Tom parted his lips.
He moaned as Chakotay dove into the offered sweetness with
an approving growl. His tongue delicately stroked Tom's
palate and gums, then lured its mate forward. As Tom's
tongue forayed into Chakotay's mouth, he sucked on the
welcome invader.

They parted, chests brushing as they breathed. Tom moved his
hands to Chakotay's face, "I want you to make love to me,
Chakotay." He watched brown eyes widen apprehensively.

"Are you sure, Tom? You know I've never done this before."
Chakotay's teeth worried his lower lip, drawing an intense
blue gaze to his mouth.

Tom smiled, charmed by the Commander's uncharacteristic
hesitation. He reached into a pocket of his jeans and pulled
out a tube of lubricant. He firmly pressed it into
Chakotay's hand. "Yes, very sure."

Chakotay stared shocked at the object, then back up at his
newly minted mate. "You planned for this?"

"No, Cha, honest," Tom reassured. "I *hoped* for this. For
anything, really. I've been carrying that around since our
night in the lounge." He gave a sudden mischievous grin.
"Harry convinced me not to jump you again until you were
ready, but I wasn't sure I could resist the temptation. So I
figured I'd better be prepared."

The sight of the cocky Flyboy smile paired with open, loving
eyes undid Chakotay. With a whisper of "So beautiful," he
reclaimed that laughing mouth, which enthusiastically joined
in a second round of kissing.

Chakotay dropped the tube as his hands roamed up and down
Tom's arms, then moved to his chest and torso, eagerly
combing through the golden curls. He broke the kiss with a
wide smile of his own. "Have I mentioned how sexy I find
this?" He tugged just enough to elicit a delighted gasp from
Tom. He listened to the rasp of his nails against the
younger man's chest, casually flicking the dark pink nipples
as he passed them.

Tom closed his eyes and clutched at Chakotay's shoulders as
he arched into the stroking. Denim met soft cotton in a
desperate thrust. "Please, Cha," he moaned.

Chakotay succumbed to the lure of the long exposed neck,
kissing and nipping down the pale throat. His mouth
descended to the pectorals, using his tongue to surround a
stiff nipple and lift it to his waiting teeth. He then
kissed the taut flesh, soothing the sting of the bite.
Chakotay drifted leisurely to its pink twin to suckle
strongly as he felt Tom's hands clench in his hair.

Tom felt the shock of air against his wet chest as
Chakotay's mouth moved downward. He was swamped with a surge
of relief as his jeans were suddenly opened to free his
trapped cock. Large warm hands briefly palmed his ass as the
pants were slowly drawn down and away. Tom opened his eyes
and looked down to see Chakotay kneeling before him, eyeing
his cock with a speculative expression. "Chakotay? Are you
all right?"

/I can do this./ Chakotay removed his gaze from the
purple-crested member saluting him to meet worried blue
eyes. He lifted his hands to encircle the lean muscled
thighs in front of him, his palms and fingers again tingling
as they traveled over the tiny hairs adorning them. "I'm
just enjoying the view, Tom." He smiled in reassurance. "I'm
fine. As I said, you're nothing like before."

Tom breathed a sigh of relief and ran his own fingers
through soft raven locks, "Okay."

Chakotay swallowed and returned to his contemplation of
Tom's very erect cock, which had started to drip in
anticipation. He leaned in and let his tongue run from the
base slowly to the tip, sampling the silken texture and
salt-musk flavor. He had a brief flash of gagging as a cold
scaly penis was shoved down his throat, but that dissolved
in the reality of the next breath. He inhaled Tom's scent
and ran his lips slowly along the path his tongue had taken.
Then with a quick smile at Tom's passion-dazed expression,
he opened his mouth and completely swallowed Tom's cock.

Tom gave a sharp yelp of surprise as he felt himself being
completely encased in a warm, wet cavern. His hands
descended to Chakotay's shoulders as he tried to pull back
in shock. Stronger hands held his hips to keep him fully
seated in Chakotay's relaxed throat. Tom started to shake
with a desperate need to thrust.

Chakotay was simply enjoying the moment. His knowledge of
relaxation techniques was paying off in unexpected ways. His
throat was completely open and soft as he felt Tom's pulse
through the vein resting against his tongue, sending a
message of arousal in its primal drumbeat. He felt the
trembling of the hips beneath his hands, and eased his hold
to slowly start backing off, licking and sucking until he
reached the crown. He knew Tom was on the edge.

Tom felt that wicked mouth descend on him again and groaned.
But it seemed the torture was over, as Chakotay began moving
his head swiftly along Tom's length, sucking at him as if to
pull the orgasm from his flesh. The hands on his hips
encouraged his movement as he made short thrusts into those
sculpted lips, letting Chakotay decide how deep he would go.
He tried to make a sound of warning, but his indrawn breath
rushed out in a long wail as he came.

/Hmmm...salty, bittersweet...doesn't remind me of
anything---except Tom./ Chakotay thought as hot cum flooded
his mouth. He swallowed to make more room and heard Tom's
voice falter as his cock was lightly squeezed in the
process. Chakotay sucked the last of his husband's juices,
licked him clean and let the spent organ fall from his lips.
He looked up, and raised his eyebrows, needing to know but
finding it too awkward to ask, "Was it good for you?"

Tom plopped onto the ground. He fell in love again as he
read the uncertain expression on the face of the man who had
just given him the blowjob of his life. He could hear the
awe in his own voice. "Damn. How the hell did you *do*
that?"

Chakotay gave a relieved laugh. "Years of practice---at
learning how to relax." He shook his head. "Never pictured
using it in this context, though."

"Well, you made quite a picture doing it." Tom tackled the
bronze man and reached for the drawstring on the loose
slacks still covering him. He carefully eased the cloth over
the straining erection, freeing the dark cock to the evening
air. "Yesss..." he hissed and closed his fingers around it.

As he slowly stroked, Tom leaned up to lightly bite along
Chakotay's jaw to a spot just behind one ear. Then he began
sucking a trail down the satiny bronze skin, lazily swiping
his tongue in the valley that bisected Chakotay's
well-muscled chest. He ran his teeth over the ridged
abdomen, heading for the only patch of hair on his husband's
strong frame. He halted his southern journey when Chakotay's
hands tugged at his arms. "Tom...too close" he breathed.

Tom immediately moved up to share a sizzling kiss, delighted
when he felt powerful hands sliding down to cup his ass. Tom
sent one hand out in a search for the long-forgotten tube
while the other continued to stroke and tease the body
beneath him. When he found the lube he lifted himself off
his husband and handed it over without a word.

Chakotay followed him up until they were both sitting and
took a moment to regain a measure of control. He accepted
the tube and looked at the flushing man before him, a
portrait of desire. "Okay, Tom. But you have to make me a
promise. You tell me if you feel any pain. Anything at all."
His eyes were anxious. "I couldn't bear to hurt you."

Tom collapsed onto the grass, spreading his long limbs in
welcome. "I promise, Cha, but I know you won't bring me
anything but pleasure." He grinned and wiggled his hips.
"Now, fuck me, Commander."

Brown eyes took a leisurely stroll up the slender form,
watching as the last of the light turned it into a golden
work of art. Chakotay uncapped the tube and knelt in the vee
of Tom's legs. He coated his cock and made sure he put a
large dollop of gel on his fingers, then gently parted the
muscular cheeks to probe the shadowy cleft. Tom's gasp told
him when to end his search as he slowly eased one finger
past tight muscle and deep into the hot channel beyond. He
sought Tom's eyes as he began the internal stroking that
would ready Tom's body for his husband's possession.

Chakotay was humbled by the trust in the face beneath him.
He slid out, moistened two fingers, and returned to the
careful stretching. He felt for the small bump that marked
Tom's pleasure point. He almost lost the connection when
Tom's hips jumped with reaction. /Gotcha!/

Tom settled back down with a needy moan. The slick fingers
moving in him were causing sparks to jump up and down his
spine and along his nerves. He thrust again, trying to bury
them more deeply. "Now, Chakotay, Now! Please."

Chakotay hastily withdrew his hand and lifted Tom's long
legs around his waist as he set the head of his cock against
the beckoning passage. Brown eyes held blue as he moved into
his husband's body. "I love you," he said as he thrust home.

Tom groaned and lifted his hips to match the movement, only
stopping when soft hair brushed his ass. He felt the thick
cock sliding back, then gently returning to fill him again.
At the last moment he tightened his ankles around Chakotay,
forcing him even deeper. "Don't you dare hold back," he
gasped.

Chakotay nodded and gripped Tom's hips, pulling the long
body forward to meet his own thrusts. He'd never felt
anything like this: hot, clasping, massaging the length of
his cock as he moved in the pale body. He raised up slightly
to change his angle and was rewarded by a shout from Tom as
his prostate was firmly stroked. They were both thrusting
quickly now, making wild sounds as they both sought
completion.

"Touch me!" Tom shouted, and Chakotay reached for the long
cock, closing it in his fist. A few quick pulls and his grip
was suddenly slick with cum as Tom threw back his head and
screamed in ecstasy. Tom's spasms squeezed Chakotay's cock
as he yelled and plunged one last time into the climaxing
form beneath him, shooting semen deep within the clenching
channel.

Chakotay slid out and collapsed to the side. He gathered Tom
in his arms, both men panting as their heartbeats gradually
slowed. "Wow," was all Chakotay said as he ran his fingers
through Tom's sweat-dampened hair.

"Yeah," Tom replied as he snuggled into his husband's
embrace. The two satiated men slipped into sleep as gently
as the twilight faded into night.

************************************************************

CONCLUSION

When Chakotay woke he was met by a landscape limned in
moonlight. He took a moment to lightly touch the band
decorating his husband's silvered skin. He was still in awe
of the fact that he was in love with, and married to, Tom
Paris. It was so strange yet felt so right. He kissed Tom's
forehead. So very right.

Tom felt deliciously warm as he rubbed against the satiny
surface beneath his cheek. When his chin grazed a nipple, he
was suddenly reminded of the day's events and instinctively
clutched at the body he was cuddled up against. The solid
form reassured him that he wasn't dreaming; he was a married
man. He looked up into Chakotay's eyes, darker and more
mysterious in the night. "Hi there," he said.

"Hello yourself, Tom." Chakotay kissed the tip of the
pilot's nose and ran one hand down the long back to lightly
stroke his husband's ass. "You okay?"

Tom stretched and settled himself more completely on the
broad chest beneath him. "Better than okay." He touched
Chakotay's high cheekbones, then brushed his tattoo. A
thought struck him and he grinned as he began tracing the
delicate lines. "Do I need to get one of these?"

Chakotay's eyes rolled up to watch the elegant hand. "You
want one?"

"I don't know. I mean, no one's going to know the armbands
are underneath our uniforms. If we cut off all our sleeves,
everyone will see them but..." he moved his hands to lightly
scrape his nails down the length of Chakotay's arms. He felt
the older man's body shiver in response. "...they may also
forget what they mean in the surge of lust at seeing a
less-than-fully clothed Commander." He gently soothed the
fading tracks with his fingertips. "I'm not sure I want to
risk it."

Chakotay chuckled and trapped the pilot's wandering hands in
his own. His thumbs brushed Tom's knuckles and his dimples
flashed patches of shadow as he smiled. "I think I'm the one
who should worry. I'm tempted to say yes to the tattoo, just
so everyone knows you're mine." His look turned serious as
he slowly stroked the fourth finger of his mate's left hand.
He sought and held Tom's moon-flecked eyes. "It isn't
necessary. I'd be proud to wear your ring, Tom. And have you
wear mine. Whatever you need to be sure this is real. That
we're real."

Tom bestowed a gentle kiss, then rested his chin on their
linked hands. "Thank you," he said softly. He shrugged. "We
have to make things Starfleet official anyway so I won't get
tossed in the brig for insubordination for jumping my CO in
the Mess Hall..." he began languidly rubbing against his
husband's powerful body as he ruminated "...the Observation
lounges, the shuttle bay, the conference room, the
turbolifts, the cargo bays, Engineering, Stellar
Cartography, Sickbay, Airponics, the Jeffries tubes---all of
them---your office, the Ready Room---" Tom gave a startled
grunt as he found himself once again lying beneath Chakotay.

"Given this a little thought, have you? *Not* the Ready
Room," the older man stated. "I don't think that would be
fair to Kathryn."

Tom conceded with a smile. "Okay. We certainly don't want
her to perform the marriage, then annul it in a fit of
pique."

Chakotay sported a matching grin. "Or throw us both in the
brig---without conjugal visits."

Tom shuddered. "Right. Definitely *not* the Ready Room." The
pilot parted his legs to bring their bodies into alignment
and grabbed his husband's oh-so-clutchable ass. "Now that
that's settled, what shall we do to pass the time, hmmm...?"
He was shocked to find himself suddenly abandoned as
Chakotay sat up and looked at the night sky.

"We should never have been able to sleep for so long, Tom.
The alarm was supposed to go off hours ago. Computer, what
time is it?"

"The time is 0200 hours."

Tom whistled. "Wow, you must have been saving your rations,
Cha. That's quite a block of time."

Chakotay looked just as shocked. "I only had 4 hours. In
fact, I'm surprised we weren't interrupted while we were,
um, earlier." He had a sudden suspicion. "Computer, when is
the holodeck alarm set to go off?"

"Commander Chakotay's reservation expires at 0700 hours.
Communications lockout engaged until that time."

The two men shared a stunned glance, then Tom started
laughing. "Twelve hours? Somebody must have overestimated
our stamina just a bit. I know Harry had a hand in this, and
the Captain was definitely in the loop, but where did all
the rest of the time come from?"

Chakotay sighed. "I know the computer didn't show any
modifications, so I bet a certain half-Klingon engineer is
involved. And Kes and Neelix have been very sympathetic." He
shook his head. "Computer, where are our messages being
directed?"

"All communications to Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant
Paris are being directed to Lieutenant Tuvok."

"Wow, even Tuvok's involved? We're lucky we're staying
together, Cha. I know I'm no match for that task force."

Chakotay pulled Tom up by the elbows until they were
face-to-face once more. "You're not alone anymore, and I
think together we can stand up to anything." He felt around
for the abandoned lubricant as he lay back in the grass,
arranging Tom on top of his own excited form. "And since you
seem to have already forgotten that, *husband*, we'd better
have that Starfleet ceremony at 0800."

Tom undulated his hips, pressing his groin into his mate's.
"Which brings us back to my original question: What do we do
until then...?"

Chakotay's reply was a playful growl. "You start
demonstrating what a good 'provider' you'll be." One hand
smoothed clear gel over his husband's wakening cock while
the other squirted more lubricant over the long pale
fingers. "Right now..." As Tom's hands began to explore,
Chakotay's voice trailed off into an aroused moan as he
spread his legs wider and relaxed into his beloved's
intimate touch.

As Tom sank slowly into his husband's welcoming body, he
fervently whispered back, "Oh, yes, Sir..."

THE END