Jayden still cries. He cries so often, that there are many days I feel as if I am crashing into a brick wall. Silence, ahhh, that is golden. This is probably the area I struggle with most as a parent. Jayden is an overall good natured child. At home, we sit and watch Blue's Clues together, and I dutifully sing along and dance to the songs. He frequently makes funny faces at me, and we basically have a ball together. Comprende?

By the time that key has turned in the lock, Jayden has become the anti-mommy. I'm talking throw himself on the ground for an all out scream fest. So now, unless we're going to a giggle guaranteed place (e.g. park, toy section Wal-Mart) I keep Jayden close to home.

I know, this is the "terrible two stage", just cause I know the name doesn't make this beast any easier to fight. I ignore his negatives and applaud his positives, reinforce boundaries blah blah blah. Um, this child is an emotional roller coaster, so none of that stuff works, it's just damage control!

Oh and don't get me started on the public. Now that Jayden is two and is a complete walking, grinning, drooling time bomb, people tend to "understand" more often. Umm, there are times when Granny will offer Jayden a lint covered diabetic *hard* candy from her pocket. I just grab it from her, smile my flustered thanks and throw the "treat" away. There are also the *ahem* grocery trips, where mommy must now play the freaking UN Ambassador. Case in point, us walking down aisle, Jayden : Mooooommmy, Mommmmy, Mine mine mine mine mine!". The now infamous mommy: *smile*look away*smile*laugh delightedly*wipe sweat from upper lip, Praying that I have appeased the distraction Gods in some manner. 80% of the time, I manage to avert him with a shiny pack of over priced diaper wipes.

The point of that dramatization is that it is really all about Jayden. It has nothing to do with me. I don't mistreat my son, just the occasional stern voice, and teaching him to mind his his P's and Q's. Ultimately I believe that my reaction to his behavior will be his "map" of how to get attention, and how to control/ take out his anger and frustration. So far, even on his bad days he enjoys a good shnuggle wuggle with me. Oh sure, it works, and pretending to hurt myself (stub a toe) and fake farts always appeals to boys :D

People, at least one, believe that children ought to seen and not heard. Well, coming from a former child *gasp* That is a load of crap. I want my child to know he can come to me and voice his opinions in a respectful manner. I also would rather he vent his anger with words and thoughts, so he can practice his problem-solving skills. Rather than be an un-naturally festering, resenting, silent child.

Day - by - day, I know we are coming to the end of this wearisome road. I know I have many more day's of the "unh unh" "wahhhhh" *flailing arms, flailing arms, step forward and fall* faze. My aching head can't wait. Until then, I will continue to fight for the freedom of screaming brats in public everywhere!

Amanda

April 1, 2004

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