| This & That - an e-magazine which promises something exciting for you |
| Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? It you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens and who would actually hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why when I wind my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. |
A WORD FROM THE EDITOR My New Year's resolution for 2001 was to come up with a newsletter on the Net. And this is it! I call it This & That because there will be something different in every issue. For a start, it will only be one page but who knows? As time passes, there may be more for you to feast your eyes and minds on. There may also be simple contests for you to take part in. I plan to have a section where I can recommend some interesting websites. To kick off this inaugural issue in January 2001, here's something interesting I picked out from the local newspaper recently about the English language. Read and enjoy! |
| JANUARY 2001 |
| Quote of the month: It's your attitude, not aptitude, that determines your altitude in life |
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