May In the Garden
By Anne Edge-Rowe & Ivor Spade
From Forum
The Magazine of Chester City Council

May in the Garden   By Anne Edge-Rowe & Ivor Spade

     April was miserable.  So was I.  Nothing went right.  The cat had kittens, seven of them.  I hate cats.  We sent them all to the local cats home.  Ivor's Aunt Isadora rang to say she had been evicted for rent arrears and could she come and stay.  She did.

     Arthur, Pandora's estranged husband wants a reconciliation.  Pandora's gone to stay with him in their luxury caravan at Bagillt.  Ivor says that they are trying to rediscover each other.  So I suppose that's good.  But the house has been leased to a very large unruly family.  The mother plays the piano badly, loudly and constantly.  The dad hasn't worked for years because of a glass back.  He drinks like a fish and is never sober, Titus seems to know him quite well as he's been calling there on his way round to the allotments which back on to their garden.  As for the kids - so far they've trampled all over my beans, onion sets, and flattened the sweetpeas.  Maybe Pandora wasn't so bad after all.

     This month is much better, the sun is shining, already we have planted our autumn and winter cabbage, sprouting broccoli, lettuce spinach sprouts calibrese and chicory.
We've started our outdoor tomatoes in pots, we've covered our carrots to keep out the carrot fly.  Top tip-keep covered until harvest.  Earth up your early spuds. Harden off sweetcorn to plant out at the end of the month.  Top tip 2 -place collars of cardboard around the stems of your cabbage when planting out to protect from cabbage root fly.

     Anne returned marginally happy from her visit to the W.I. last night.  She and her friend Myrtle had had a "goosegog" wine or four or five or more.  It was really hard to tell.  She was falling about all over the place.  This morning I treated her to an old family hang over recipe.  It works every time.  Take one lightly beaten egg, 4 crushed cloves of garlic, one spoonful of coriander seeds, a teaspoon of mustard powder, half a pint of milk (semi skimmed), and a touch of baileys.  Within half an hour you're very sick.  After that you begin to feel much better. 

     The sound of lawnmowers is loud in the land.  If you haven't yet started cutting you should do so now.  Start with the highest setting and gradually lower.  You should always maintain at least 1/2 inch of grass.  To get rid of weeds apply weed, feed and moss killer.  Best value can be obtained from your garden club.  Ours sells 7lb for just �2.00.  Talking of best value the man selling plants outside the Market in Princess St does 10% discount for our club.  A real bargain. 

    On the subject of bargains, try this delicious coffee substitute which is made entirely from roasted dandelion root.  If you have dandelions growing in fertile soil and are going to dig them up anyway, now is the best time of year to utilise their roots.  They are reported to have blood cleansing, liver-stimulating properties.  Wash the roots, cut them into cubes, and dry them.  Then roast them in a cast iron frying pan on high heat stirring continually.  Use like regular coffee and enjoy this healthy caffeine-free drink.

     On the other hand why not join Titus, 'Enery from next door and me down at the pub.
Come back Pandora, all is forgiven. (Not quite!) Anne
Good gardening

Anne & Ivor

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