Show: WWE Chaos: Ricochet

Date: Saturday May 28th, 2005

Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids Michigan.

Time: 7:30pm EST

Sponsers: Standby’s Malt Liquor and Your Local Banshee and Warthog Dealerships

National Anthem: Metallica and Simon and Garfunkel

Announcers: Greg Lougainis Jorgenson and Ryan Bronkamamama

Ring Announcer: Parween Noori

Time Keeper: Anthony Hegwood

“Scottie McPoots here reporting here live at Ricochet. We are just minutes away from the start of the show. I want to make 1 thing clear about tonight most anticipated main event. There will be 6 tag teams. Two will start with the third coming in after 5 minutes. Standard tag rules will apply. After 1 of the initial 3 teams is eliminated, a 4th will be released into the arena to take the open corner. After the next team is eliminated the 5th team will enter the arena. After the next fall, the 6th and final team will enter the match. Whatever of these final 3 tag teams survives elimination will be our new tag champs. I think this match is bloody brilliant! McPoots, out.”

Ricochet kicked off with a video collage of the past happenings of Chaos. Eli Jimenez was shown winning the belt from Lozon and then the resulting backstabs by Render and Lozon. Taylor was shown leaping 20 feet in the air and then the devastating destruction he and B felt through the table. And finally, Emily Helt was shown announcing tonight’s main event.

Fireworks exploded from the stage and just about everywhere else in the arena. The crowd was alive and happening. There were so many mixed groups of people here. Usually the crowd is split between the members in the main event but tonight, there are 6 teams, 12 men in the main event. The 6 Team Roundtable Brawl!

LOUGAINIS: Welcome folks to Ricochet where we will witness the greatest tag team event of all time. The Rednecks are in trouble because they will have 5 teams who want there titles.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, The Rednecks have been champions for months now and can beat any of those teams, except maybe the Man Beasts or DS Inc or 703, or maybe….

LOUGAINIS: Well one thing is for sure folks, the Night and Day Franchise is teaming up for the impossible tonight. Both men are barely able to walk let alone wrestle.

BRONK: Damnit Lou! These two fellas need to retire. They are old and worn. Eli Jimenez, our great and fine champion is looking to hold both titles in our division for the first time ever.

LOUGAINIS: That would be something. More on the main event later. First we are going to see Ricky O’Ban against The Wasp. These two have a rivalry for no reason whatsoever. They have fought time and time again, both with 2 victories over the other. 703 usually backs up O’Ban but they must get ready for the main event.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, that is correct. 703 will not help Rick this time. As for the Wasp, he is a rascally man who still feels that his losses to Oban have been the reason for his being held back in the division. Here we go folks.

PARWEEN: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall. Introducing first, from Milwaukee Wisconsion, weighting in a 175 lbs, Ricky Oban Esteban! (Rick enters the ring to very nice applause) Introducing next, from London England, weighting in at 210 lbs, Dave The Wasp Wassic.

Match #1

The Wasp vs. O

Pace: Slightly Above Medium

Crowd Reaction: Moderate to Good

The Start: Both men locked up and O got the early advantage and worked the left leg of the Wasp

Mid Match Notes: Dave Wassic must have had a better scouting report because he was able to reverse much that O tried to do. Was this going to be the time that The Wasp finally destroyed his opponent and stepped up to the next level like he promised he would months and months ago. After 11 minutes O looked as if he was done. The referee was clipped and was sent outside and The Wasp gained his opportunity to use a steel chair. O was down in the ring when it happened.

The Finish: From backstage a very tall wrestler named Mike Cubic ran from the back and slid into the ring. As the Wasp was about to hit Oban, Cube kicked Wassic in the gut causing him to drop the chair. Cube then hit a spike piledriver on the chair with Wassic skull. He slid out of the ring as Oban covered for the 3 count victory.

Result: Winner by pinfall at 10:31, Rick Esteban.

LOUGAINIS: That was a much better match than I though it would be and Mike Cubic, known as Cube, made his impact felt here on Chaos!

BRONK: Damnit Lou, that match sucked. Cube is going to get his from Wassic someday, mark my words. Speaking of words, Derek Van Haaran is a man of very few of them. He is known as the Human Submission Machine. If Benoit, Angle, Bret Hart, William Regal and Ken Shamrock all had sex, you might get Derek Van Haaran.

LOUGAINIS: He is a submission master but I hear he has actually never had a win by pinfall, which is extremely odd at this level. He might have his hands full tonight against the third member of The Man Beast Faction, Casey Nelson.

BRONK: Damnit Lou! Casey Nelson is a throwback wrestler. He is all nit and gritty and there is no wonder why he is a Man Beast. This guy is going to rip Van Haaren a new (beep).

LOUGAINIS: Well, we will see. We turn it to the ultra sexy ring announcer, Parween.

PARWEEN: The following contest is scheduled for 1 fall and introducing first, making his WWE Chaos In-Ring debute, from Flint Michigan, weighing in at 265 lbs, Casey Nelson! (The crowd roared at Nelson because he was the newest member of the most hated faction in the division.) And his opponent, from Mt. Clemens Michigan, weighting in at 190 lbs, The Human Submission Machine, Derek Van Haaran!

Match #2

Nelson vs. Van Haaran

Pace: Medium

Crowd Reaction: Good

The Start: Nelson was frustrated early with the speed and technical ability of his opponent. Within 10 second of the bell, Derek had Nelson in an armbar submission that had Nelson scrambling for the rope to break the hold.

Mid Match Notes: Nelson gained the advantage when he broke out of a sleeper hold. As long as Nelson was close, the smaller Van Haaran was in trouble. Nelson did not bother with fancy moves. This throwback wrestler was a brawler and clubbed the hell out of Van Haaran. Van Haaran was in trouble as Nelson locked in the factions patented move, The Man Beast Bear Hug. Fortunately Van Haaran was close enough to the ropes to grab ahold quickly.

The Finish: Nelson whipped Van Haaren off the ropes and went to hit a clothesline but missed. Derek bounded off the ropes and leapt in the air in a crossbody and connected. Nelson was in a pin from the crossbody but Van Haaran broke the pin himself and quickly locked in a Sharpshooter. Render ran to the ring but Derek had slapped the move in strong so quickly that Nelson was forced to tap out.

Result: Winner by submission at 9:38, Derek Van Haaran.

Aftermath: The Man Beasts each took a short turn locking Derek in the Bear Hug and threw him from the ring.

LOUGAINIS: Well Nelson lost the match and tapped out but it looks like the Man Beasts got the last laugh as usual.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, of course they got the last laugh. The are 3 of the fattest men in the business. Who the hell is gonna take their pork chops? I know you would not dream of it you little measley son of a bi……

LOUGAINIS: Well now we are ready for the main event, The 6 Team Roundtable Brawl.

Emily Helt’s music pops on and she walks to the stage. There is mixed reaction to her tonight because for the most part, the crowd hates her, but tonight she is taking credit for the match that the board of directors personally leaned on her to make. “It is time for our main event. Let me explain the rules of the match. (She explains). Let me assure you that the order of participants were random. You can trust me because I had Stephanie McMahon with me the entire time. (Emily shows a look of disgust.). May the best team win as long as it is not…..”

Emily was cut off as 703’s music hit. It looks like they are first. Clyne and Galster hit the stage to nice applause. They entered the ring and posed for the crowd. Their time alone was short lived because Corp R’s music hit quickly and they ran full blast to the ring and slid in. The bell rung loudly, the 5 minute timer started, and The R’s traded punches with 703. They exchanged until it was just Galster and Salyer. Brian got the upper hand reserving an armbar and kick Ben G in the side a few times. Brian then flipped Ben over into a sitting position and Brian bounded off the ropes and kneed Ben in the face. Salyer wasted no time and tagged in Bob who mounted the top rope. Bob dropped an elbow and pinned for a 2 count. Ben was brought to his feet and whipped into the corner. Bob fired away at Ben in the corner. Bob whipped Ben G into the opposite corner and charged. Ben moved quickly out of the way and Bob’s leap caught turnbuckle. Ben rolled and tagged in Clyne. Clyne immediately pounced on Batch and whipped him off the ropes and clotheslined him. Bob sprang up and was hit again by another clothesline. Clyne then ran over and drilled Brian knocking him to the floor outside. The crowd cheered for Clynetyme. Bob got up and Clyne immediately hit a suplex and pinned for a early 2 count. Clyne brought Bob to his feet and whipped Bob, but Bob reversed the whip. Clyne was sent into the ropes but caught them and stopped himself. Bob was following and saw Clyne stop and rolled him up for a near fall 2 count.

They both gathered themselves and circled on another in the ring. Then the crowd was heard counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

The Redneck’s music hit and the champions came storming to the ring and slid into the ring and unloaded on Clyne and Batch. The referee knew that The Rednecks were suppose to go to their corners. Tag rules applied and another team would have to tag the Rednecks into the match. Finch tossed Clyne over the top ropes and Walsh whipped Batch into the ropes. Finch charged Bob and hit him with a massive clothesline that send Batch to the floor sitting. Walsh rolled up his sleeve and hit a Stink Pit in the face of Batch. Bob began spitting up and rolled out of the ring. Clyne made his way back into the ring as Walsh got into his corner. Clyne immediately drilled Finch in the back. Finch was not the legal man but Clyne was pissed. The referee tried to separate the two but Clyne kept on attacking. Finch sent Clyne off the ropes but again Clyne grabbed the ropes and stopped himself. Finch charged and Clyne pulled the top rope down and Fich flew over to the outside. The crowd roared.

Galster rolled a slobbery Batch into the ring and Clyne pinned. Batch kicked out. Clyne brought him to his feet. It was now of never in Clyne’s mind. Clyne whipped Batch into the corner and Clyne tagged in Benny G. Ben kicked away at Batch in the corner. Ben then picked up Batch and put him in a sitting position on top of the ropes. Ben went to the middle of the ring and charged, hitting Batch in the chest with a leaping clothesline that sent Batch tumbling over the ropes and he hit the mat outside with a thud.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, that must have been a 10 foot drop!

LOUGAINIS: Clyne is rolling Batch back into the ring and Ben G pins. 1, 2 and Salyer has entered and broken up the pin.

Clyne rolled off Batch after Brian broke up the pin. Brian tried to get at Clyne but referee Jake Ziegler got into Salyer’s face and backed him to his corner. Clyne, who had just received a hard pin breaking up kick to the side of the face was slightly dazed and got too close to Finch. Finch tagged Clyne’s back just as Ziegler turned to see and it was a legal tag. Finch entered and grabbed a hold of Batch. Finch, the 2 time former Chaos Champion and 3 time Chaos Tag Champion locked in his Redneck berahug. He flung Batch around for submission. Brian tried to enter again to help but Walsh had a hold of his leg. Walsh pulled him down and the two exchanged punches. Ziegler leaned in closely to a writhing Batch, turned and signaled for the submission. Corp R has been eliminated. Finch tossed Batch from the ring and Salyer met him, helping him to his feet. They slowly walked up the ramp and exited, in defeat. Finch tagged in a fresh Walsh and the referee signaled that 703 need to have a man enter to restart the match. Ben G entered and it was on again.

LOUGAINIS: Well folks, any second now the 4th tag team will be coming out.

BRONK: Damnit Lou! You’re amazing. There have been 3 team out and you amazingly concluded that the next team is the 4th. You are a piece of human ….

Bronk was cut off as DS Inc. music came on. The crowd was so mixed that parent began beating their kids and long time lovers got divorced. DS Inc were the top heels of this division for the last year and now after the formation of the Man Beasts, sympathy was rising for Jimenez and Martus. Martus and Jimenez took a corner and watched as Ben G and Walsh went back and forth. Walsh whipped Ben G into the corner and followed with a booty bump that sent Ben breathless into a sitting position. The crowd waited in disgust and Walsh rolled up his other sleeve. Walsh walked over but Clyne pulled his partner to fresh air freedom. Walsh looked upset and tagged in his partner. Finch starred down Clynetyme and Ben G. The referee began to count. Ben G recovered and slid into the ring. Finch pounded away as Ben G got to his feet. Ben fired a few punches but Finch kicked out at Ben’s gut. Ben bent over in pain. Finch locked in Ben’s arms behind his back as if to hit a pedigree. Instead Finch flipped Ben over onto his shoulded and hit a powerbomb like move. Finch roared at the crowd who hissed back. Ben was completely out of it as he got to his feet. Finch bounced off the ropes as Walsh slapped himon the back. Ziegler signaled the tag as Finch hit Ben with a huge clothesline. Ben flew to the mat in a thud. Finch then drilled Clyne in the face and Clyne tumbled to the mat outside. Ficnh followed and attacked. Walsh picked up Ben and locked in the Redneck Bearhug. Ben G was in dire trouble. Ben was just about to tap out when Jimenez entered and hit Walsh with a low blow. Ziegler was busy yelling at Finch to stop playing grab ass with Clyne’s battered body. Walsh stammered around and Jimenez hit him with a JKO. Walsh crumbled to the mat in front of DS Inc. corner. Ben G somehow managed a pin in the confusion. The referee got close to the pin and began counting when it happened. Finch realized what was at stake. Walsh was out cold and being pinned. As much as Finch loved destroying Clyne, he had to break it up. It was on the opposite side of the ring. Finch slid into the ring and ran to break up the pin. Martus was on the top rope, leapt over the pin and the referee and drop kicked Finch in the face. At that same moment, Ziegler’s arm hit the 3 count and the Tag Team Champions were finished. The Rednecks have been eliminated!

The crowd all farted in joy and many began checking their pants for squirts.

LOUGAINIS: We will have new tag champions tonight!

BRONK: Damnit Lou! DS Inc screwed The Redneck single-handedly out of the titles. There will be repercussions!

The crowd chanted assholes and The Redneck clammered up the ramp in shame. Police escorts escorted them up the ramp to make sure the match went fairly. In the commotion Ben G tagged in Clyne to get himseld out of danger. The Rednecks left in disgust as Ziegler signaled that DS Inc. must have someone enter. Martus entered and locked up with Clynetyme.

LOUGAINIS: Well that is 2 down and we will have new champions. The 5th team should be coming out any second now.

BRONK: Damnit Lou! You have proven that you can count. Yes 5 comes after 4. Sometime I wish I could just take my bare hands to your neck and ……

Bronk was cut off again as The most hated faction in Chaos memory’s music hit. The Man Beasts came out, all three of them. Render and Nelson led the way as the biggest of the three, Lozon, brought up the huge rear. The crowd screamed and yelled with all their might. The Man Beasts took a corner and paid no attention to the match. They were still yelling at the crowd, photographers, announcers, grandmother’s, children, retarded people, people with mullets, people with hairlips, skinny people, fat people, gay people, people with webbed feet, smelly people, people without hair, people with blue hair, great grand fathers, truckers, ring crew, timekeepers, newborn babies, and Parween the ring announcer.

Martus was in control because he was much fresher than Clyne. 703 had been the first team out and was still standing. Martus sent Clyne into the corner near Jimenez and Jimenez tagged. Martus kicked Clyne in the gut and Clyne bent over. Jimenez used both arms to propel himself over the top rope and hit Clyne with Billy Gunn’s famouser. Jimenez covered but Clyne somehow got a foot on the rope and Ziegler caught it. Jimenez picked Clyne to his feet and delivery 3 Randy Orton uppercuts. The action picked up quickly. The match was in its 31st minute when much of it happened.

Jimenez was in clear control. After hitting 3 german suplexes on Clyne, Jimenez pinned again. Clyne kicked out again! The crowd was chanting 703. Was this going to be the day that 703 finally reached the top of the mountain? Perhaps, keep reading to find out. Ben G tried to get into the ring and Ziegler stopped him. The Man Beasts decided this was the time to attack. Nelson entered and drilled Clyne back to the mat and slid out the other side. Render entered to attack Jimenez, but Ziegler was on top of his game and intercepted Render. Ziegler was in the corner as both Man Beasts yelled at him, obstructing his view of what happened next, and folks, it happened. Walsh entered the stage wielding a chair but the armed ring police guards intercepted him from going down the ramp. This was merely a diversion as Finch slid unnoticed into the ring from the crowd and drilled Jimenez in the head with a chair. Lozon saw this coming, although he had nothing to do with it and realized that Ziegler must have heard the chair thud. Like an iron gate, The Man Beasts continued yelling and pinned Ziegler behind a wall of flesh. DJ slid out of the ring with the chair and into the crowd and disappeared. Lozon stepped aside and Ziegler shot out of the corner. Clyne, who has just received 3 German Suplexes and a clothesline from hell from Nelson, was dazed but rolled over and pinned the DS Inc captian, the former GM, the former WWE Chaos World Champion, and the member of the 3rd team eliminated tonight. Jimenez was pinned and the 3 count hit. The current WWE Chaos Champion and his team DS Inc. were eliminated.

LOUGAINIS: The Redneck screwed DS Inc.! Ziegler was being distracted by the wall of fatty men and did not see that massive chair shot.

BRONK: Damnit Lou! I told you there would be repercussions! Jimenez and Martus will definitely be hearing from The Rednecks soon because I am sure this is not over yet between the two of these teams!

The WWE Chaos Champion and his partner exited with major help from many in the back. Lozon knew that they were in control. Lozon entered and made sure the referee acknowledged that he was now the legal man. The Man Beast’s knew that their time was very short before the 6th team was coming. There was s huge buzz in the crowd because by process of elimination, everyone knew who the 6th and final team was going to be. But would they really turn up like the days of old? Clyne was still weary and Lozon immediately entered and hit Clyne with a massive headbut. Clyne hit the deck and began getting to his feet. Ben G entered and Lozon caught both of them by the throat and hit massive chokeslams. Both men hit the deck hard.

LOUGAINIS: This is not fair! The Man Beasts have done nothing to this point and 703 has practically been in the ring the whole time.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, that is the luck of the draw!

Render entered and clotheslined himself and Galster over the top rope. Clyne was on the mat laying face down. Lozon walked over and executed his new finishing move, which was nothing but a huge man sitting on another mans back. The 400 pound Man Beast sat on Clyne’s back and smothered him into the mat. Clyne was breathless as Lozon got up. Lozon then locked in the Man Beast grasp and Clyne was declared out cold! 703 has been eliminated! The Man Beasts look indestructible!

LOUGAINIS: It was just too unfair!

BRONK: Damnit Lou! The Man Beasts will not lose tonight, mark my words! Unfair, the only thing unfair Lou is that I have to be in this announcing team with a pathetic little piece of …..

703 exited the ramp to huge applause. The crowd then waited as did the Man Beasts in the ring. Everyone knew what was about to happen. It was no surprise. The Night and Day Franchise’s music hit and the crowd exploded. B and Jay entered and ran full boat to the ring and slid into the ring. Jay and Render exchanged punches as did Lozon and B. Render was sent over the top rope by Jay. B and Jay then double teamed Lozon. The crowd was in pandemonium. Jay and B cleared Lozon over the top rope and the crowd roared at the most popular team in Chaos history. B exited and Jay waited for one of The Man Beast member to step into the ring.

LOUGAINIS: When B and Jay are on, no one can beat them. The only problem is which B and Jay team is here. Is this the old night and day team, or is this a new team of two has-been broken down wrestlers.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, these two guys are still young, but their hearts are not there anymore!

Lozon entered, stopping Render from coming into the ring. Lozon wanted Jay 1 on 1. The crowd was on edge. Jay and Lozon locked up and Lozon sent Jay flying away in tremendous strength. Lozon roared like a lion to the crowd. Jay got to his feet. They locked up again and the same result. Jay could not match Lozon’s strength! The circled again and it looked as if a lock up was coming again. Lozon reached out for the lock up but Jay kicked out into Tony’s gut and hit a massive Franchise Stunner. The crowd boomed. Everyone was stunned! Lozon crumbled to the mat. Render entered but was immediately intercepted by B who hit him with a Lebanese spear! Render crumlbed to the mat and to the outside. The crowd chanted B and Jay over and over. Lozon got to his feet but was immediately planted back into the mat by another Lebanese Spear. B pointed to the top rope and Jay climbed. Jay flipped backwards. THE NITE LIGHT! Jay did a perfect moonsault and when he hit Lozon, the lights in the arena went black. They flipped back on just in time to see Ziegler’s hand hit the mat for the 3rd time. We have new Chaos Tag Team champions! The crowd reached new heights of loudness unparallel to no one except Hulk Hogan. It looks like the Night and Day Franchise are back, and they are the new Tag Team Champions!

The List.