Chaos

8/18/2004

The fireworks hit and the crowd roared. The titontron flickered on and Arabic music kicked on. The screen went foggy grey and black letters rose from the smoke to spell out, “The Shawarma King is Here!” A desert was shown with massive wind gusts kicking sand everywhere. The voice over said in a stern and menacing tone, “I have traveled 10,000 miles over mountains, through deserts, and across oceans to bring my chaos to you. I am here…..” The voice over faded out as letter rose once again but this time out of the sands of the desert. “The Shawarma King is Here, Tonight.” The crowd was confused but intrigued.

After the commotion, the titantron kicked on once again.

The show kicked off with a view of back stage and Scottie McPoots running down the hall with a microphone in hand.

LOUGAINIS: What the heck is going on. It seems as if something terrible happened back stage.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, what did you do now?

Back on the screen McPoots ran up to a terrible scene in the parking garage. An Ambulance crew was hovered over a man who was a bloody mess. They frantically worked to get him locked on the stretcher and secure his life. Clynetyme ran in and screamed for information. Ben G was laying on the stretcher semi-conscious. “He’s been attacked,” was the info he received. McPoots yelled with the mic pointing in Clyne’s direction, “Clyne, you have a match tonight against the champ and it seems as if your partner is not going to make it. Do you have any idea who would do such a thing?”

Clyne got right into McPoots face as said with cold eyes, “I have a good idea.”

Clynetyme patted Ben on the shoulder and said things were going to be alright. Clyne ran back towards the arena as the camera left him and focused on a lone Labatt’s beer can crushed near the scene.

Clyne entered the locker room of DS Inc in a storm and their laughing stopped immediately. The four members of DS Inc turned. Clyne ran and attacked Eli and the fight was on. They exchanged punches and the DS boys got involed. It took 10 Chaos crewmembers to break it up and pull Clyne back. “You attacked him you cold blooded bit**”. Clyne was dragged out the door and B stepped into the locker room to the thunderous applause of the crowd.

“Listen here playas. Just kidding, always wanted to start out like that. What is your friggin problem? What the hell do you think you are doing? I can’t prove you attacked Ben G, but I know you did. I can’t fine or fire you without proof. But what I can do is make a few changes to your match tonight!” The crowd roared. DS Inc looked upset. “Tonight the match will continue as a 1 on 1 because I have been informed that Ben G is out for tonight.” Render and Martus looked at each other and smiles ever so subtlety. B noticed, looked at them, and turned back to Eli. “Tonight Eli, you will face Clynetyme, 1 on 1 with the same stipulations. But I am replacing myself as the guest referee and putting Tony Lozon in my place!”

The crowd boomed! Eli was furious! It was obvious that if he orchestrated the hit on BG that it had backfired. “You can’t do that! Lozon will not call the match down the middle!” B fired back, “welcome to the first stage of your nightmare Mr. Jimenez.” Greg and Josh were yelling at B when B turned and yelled back, “Don’t think I forgot about you two pip squeeks. You may be the Tag Team Champions, but you will be defending your titles at the next PPV! It is going to be The DS boys versus 703 versus The Rednecks in a triple threat TLC tag title match!”

The crowd all crapped their pants at the same time and then admired their neighbors long shit logs! It was pandemonium!

LOUGAINIS: A TLC match is one of the greatest spectacles of all time in my book. Three teams will be struggling to get the suspended belts high above to become the champions.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, TLC matches end careers.

LOUGAINIS: Well that may be true, folks, but after we return, I will be conducting my first ring interview with none other than our Chaos Divas, Megan, Rhiannon, and Alison, who over the weekend, attended the Republican Convention in the “Smackdown Your Vote” campaign.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, how come you get to be out there with those fine ladies and I have to sit here with all these loser fans in this section of the arena?

B was shown entering the lockerroom of Dave “The Wasp” Wassic. B told Wassic that he would be in action tonight against Ricky O. Wassic said that was fine and that it was about time that a GM made a match with a true superstar.

Back in the ring, Lougainis was smiling hard at the 3 Diva’s entering. Each looked very nice and the crowd was fixated. Lougainis spoke, “Now it is my pleasure to introduce Megan, Rhiannon, and Alison. These three women have been traveling all over the United States representing Chaos in the Smackdown your vote campaign. They even went to Canada for some odd reason on their own to get voters to register. We are trying to get 2 million Chaos viewers around the country to register to vote. Our age group can swing this election! Let me start first with Megan. What are your goals for the viewers of Chaos?”

Megan began to speak, “I.” She did not finish because the arena boomed with Arabic music. The crowd was pissed that the Diva segment seemed to be cut short. The lights on the stage flipped to a blaring yellowish brown. A man came out wearing Arabic garb. He walked stage right over to where the announcer’s table was positioned much like the RAW setup. He pointed at the open chair and Bronk pointed to the ring with a confused look on his face. The man walked slowly to the ring as the Diva’s stepped back to the other side of the ring and Lougainis leaned over the ropes with nothing but confusion on his face.

BRONK: Damnit Lou, get out of there! That is none other than the Arabic Assassian Nidol! He is “The Shararma KING!” What does he want with my broadcast partner?

Nidol walked slowly to the ring steps, never taking his eyes off Lougainis in the ring. He walked up the steps and into the ring. Nidol turned to the women and pointed that it was time for them to leave. The crowd was livid. They grouped in the thousands at the ticket counters to get a glimpse at the Chaos Diva’s live. The music stopped and the crowd boo’ed as the Diva’s left through the curtains on the stage. Lougainis spoke, “I was in the middle of something here sir and you so rudely interrupted me.”

Nidol walked slowly up to Lougainis and stood staring him down, motionless and intense. With fierce quickness, Nidol swung around and roundhouse kicked Lou in the face and Lougainis, the former wrestler turned announcer, hit the ground hard, out cold. Nidol picked up the microphone that Lougainis was forced to let go of due to the force of the kick. Nidol spoke through a thick Eastern accent, “You are the man they call Lou. Every week you talk about these so-called great wrestlers on Chaos. You talk about Tony Lozon. (Crowd cheers) You talk about Eli Jimenez. (Crowd boo’s) You talk about The Rednecks, 703, and The DS Boys. (Mixed Crowd reactions) You even talk about the legendary Jay Taylor (Crowd erupts). You never talk about the Arabic Assassian, Nidol! My new contract with the WWE and Chaos guarantees me a future match against anyone! I am calling out Jay Taylor!”

Bronk rose from his seat on the stage and spoke, “Jay Taylor is injured. You will have to wait months to face him. Just leave Lougainis to be, he has done nothing to you!”

Nidol looked furious at the news that Jay Taylor was out with a shoulder injury and a knee injury! He turned towards Lou who was now using the ropes in the corner to get himself upright. The Shawarma King walked to the corner and jumped up on the second rope and leapt backwards kicking Lou in the face. Lou hit the ground hard. Nidol then slapped on the Iron Sheiks patented Camel Clutch submission move. Lou writhed in pain but he could not escape the clutch. Bronk stood and the crowd was tense. Bronk looked confused but walked up on the stage and ran down the ramp. B’s voice boomed over the sound system as he ran on the stage. B spoke Arabic to Nidol, and Nidol let go of the hold. Bronk did not have to slide into the ring to help out his announcing partner. Must be a love/hate relationship like all other announcers have. Apparently B said, “Nidol, please stop, I have a deal for you.”

Nidol walked to the edge of the ring. “I am listening.”

B spoke, “when Jay Taylor is ready to return, you will have your match with him and we will make it a submission match.”

Nidol yelled, “I want the match now!” B returned the comment, “but I am sure a man of your strength, conviction, and honor would want to beat a man at full strength.

Nidol pondered the thought and said, “You are a wise man Bassel Noori. You are a wise man. It is no doubt that these inferior Americans have finally made a good decision by appointing a man of Arabic blood to control the destinies of others.”

B replied, “I am an American.” The crowd began to chant USA. “I am Arabic and I am American. But you will have your match in the future.” Lougainis was now heading up the ramp assisted by Bronk. “But my friend, we do not attack others unfairly here on Chaos. At Revolution, you will make your in-ring debute against former Chaos legend, Greg Jorgenson, Lougainis, Mr. Lou!”

The crowd was excited at this prospective match! Nidol smiled and gave an evil grin.

Match #1

Ricky Oban vs. Dave “The Wasp” Wassic

Surpisingly the crowd was very into this match. The wrestlers preformed above the expectation of the crowd and the management. Wassic had the early advantage using his size but Rick countered with his speed. Many think O Ban is the quickest superstar in the division and tonight he showed why. Wassic was getting irritated with the speed Rick showed and became frustrated. Wassic finally got in close and used his strength to his advantage clubbing O in the corner. O’ban dropped to the mat and Wassic climbed the top rope. The Wasp waited for Rick to get to his feet so he could jump and hit the flying axe handled smash but when Wassic leapt, Rick, out of desperation, leapt and drop kicked Dave in the gut. Wassic hit the mat hard as did Ricky O. Both men got to their feet and Dave charged. Rick ducked as Wassic stopped quickly and Rick rolled him up in the small package pin to steal a victory.

Winner: Ricky O’ban.

Match #2

Brandon Walsh vs. local wrestler Jobber “Jiggabooski” Jones

Walsh was upset of having to wrestle a local wrestler. Even the fans in the arena were bored of this match before it started. Jobber Jones entered the ring and three people clapped. Walsh’s music hit and 10’s of 20’s of fans rose to their feet! The match was actually better than expected. That seemed to be the trend. Jobber Jones was quick and much like Rick, frustrated Walsh. Walsh eventually locked in the Redneck Bear hug and then threw Jones into the corner. 1 stink pit later and Jones ran from the arena. Jake Ziegler had no other choice but to count the 10 count.

Winner: Brandon Walsh

BRONK: Well folks, it is just myself for the rest of the evening. Oh wait, here comes out GM B.

B: I thought I’d fill in for Lougainis. He has suffered some injuries and will need the rest of the week off to prepare for Revolution.

BRONK: Damnit B, it’s about time. That Lou guy drives me insane sometimes.

B: Well it is great to be here and for the record, I think you and Lou are the best announcers in the business. I want to take this opportunity to announce the final card for Chaos: Revolution. We will start off the PPV with our announcer Lou facing off against the debuting Arabic Assassion. Our second match will feature a rematch between Ricky Oban and Dave Wassic. Third we will see our first ever TLC tag-title match. The Redneck, Finch and Walsh, and 703, Clynetyme and BG, will be vying for the tag-team titles. They will have to beat the DS Boys. And our main event will feature champion Eli Jimenez against The Manbeast, Tony Lozon. If Jimenez loses tonight, Jay Taylor’s wisdom will not be present at Revolution for Lozon’s support and mentoring. If Clyne wins, Jay Taylor will make his comeback appearance live on August 25th, 2004 at Chaos: Revolution.

BRONK: Damnit B, please fire Lou because that was a beautiful bit of announcing.

B: Quit kissing ass.

BRONK: Damnit B, I will.

Match #3

Eli Jimenez vs. Clynetyme

Special Referee: Tony Lozon

Tony Lozon came out first to ICP and was introduced by Fallucca as the special guest referee. The crowd was happy to see the former power heel. Clynetyme came in next to Deion Sanders rap Must Be The Money. The crowd was alive for Clyne too. Last, DS Inc came out led by the Champion, Eli Jimenez. Eli was angry, but focused. He entered the ring and the bell sounded. Eli and Clyne locked up immediately and Eli spun around and locked his arms around Clynes waist. Eli threw Clyne to the mat and slapped him on the back of the head. Eli paraded around the ring to the crowd and Lozon clapped his hands angrily to stop the stall.

Eli and Clyne went back and forth for the next 10 minutes taking control and show casing their arsenals. At one point Clyne locked in a figure 4 and it took the help of Martus and Render to break the hold by distracting the referee. Eli gained the upper hand after that and suplexed Clyne hard to the mat. Eli mounted and pounded away at Clyne’s face with a closed fist. He then proceeded to choke Clyne. Lozon yelled at Eli and started the 5 count to break the illegal hold. Eli stood up and starred down Lozon allowing Lozon to back him into a corner. Martus and Render had just enough time to slug away at Clyne and slide out unseen. Eli covered and got a 2 count. Lozon’s count seemed a bit slow and Eli yelled at Lozon. Eli shoved Lozon and Lozon shoved back. Clyne was still on the ground partially but managed to roll Eli over into a pin after the shove. Tony dropped and counted 1, 2, and a kick out! Eli jumped up and stomped Clyne a few times before bringing him to his feet. Eli whipped Clyne and Clyne reversed the whip. Eli went into the ropes and grabbed on to stop his momentum. Clynetyme charged and Eli sent him over head and to the mat outside. Tony yelled at Eli to get him back into the ring and Eli intelligently allowed Tony to scream in his face once again in the corner with his back to the action outside. Render grabbed a chair and smacked Clynetyme in the back. Martus then climbed the steps and dropped an elbow to the back of Clyne’s head. The DS boys ran away just in time for Eli to push through and slide out of the ring. Eli grabbed Clyne and rolled him into the ring. Lozon was busy yelling at The DS Boys on the outside when Eli covered for the pin. Render and Martus yelled back but noticed the pin and motioned to the ring. Eli had been pinning for 10 seconds when Tony dropped and counted a slow 1, and then a slower 2. In a long dramatic pause Lozon rose his hand to the apex ready to slam down for the 3 when Clyne kicked out. Eli jumped up and immediately began firing punches at Lozon. Tony fired back and the two exchanged punches in the middle of the ring. The crowd was screaming in joy. After about an exchange of 7, it happened folks. Lozon kicked Eli in the gut and hit Eli with a Franchise Stunner!

BRONK: Damnit Lou, I mean Damnit B, he stole that from Jay Taylor!

B: It looks like Jay has taught this young budding superstar what is most effective against Jimenez. Trust me Bronk, that is one of the most devastating moves in our business.

Eli hit the mat with a thud and Clyne capitalized by pinning. Lozon hit the deck and counted a very quick 1, 2, and 3 as The DS Boys slid in. It happened in the blink of an eye and DS Inc was beat. Clynetyme and Tony slid out in opposite directions. Tony ascended up the ramp slowly as Clyne jumped into the crowd to celebrate and faded away. Tony walked slowly up the ramp motioning to the ring. Lozon pointed to Eli and did a slow motion reenactment of the Stunner he had just dished out. Eli and DS Inc were livid and it was apparent that the target on his back had just doubled in size. Tune in next week for the PPV live on WMU Educable Worldwide when the Revolution will begin.

CHAOS: THE REVOLUTION

FINAL MATCH CARD

Match #1

Greg Lougainis vs. The Shawarma King

Match #2

Dave “The Wasp” Wassic vs. Ricky O’Ban

Match #3

TLC Tag Team Championship

DS Inc vs. The Rednecks vs. 703

Match #4

Chaos World Championship

Tony Lozon with Jay Taylor vs. Eli Jimenez with Emily Helt

For the results, stay tuned to…..

The List.