Brenda couldn;t stop smiling as she walked back into the Jack’s home, for
the first time in her life she experienced the feeling of returning home
after a long trip.  It was in that moment that she realized she finally had a
home, a home that would remain her’s forever no matter where she went, as
long as her and Jax’s secret didn’t come out, that was one thing that could
steal her home from her forever.
    Jax hid his worries efforetly as he and Brenda joined each parent in a
hug.  As soon as the welcoming hugs were over, Jax wandered to a picture that
drew him over like a magnet.  Brenda thought she knew what  he was looking at
 but she had to see for herself so she carefully edeged her way over to Jax.
Just like Brenda thought, Jax was gently moving his fingers along a picture
of hoimself and Jerry.  Brenda was going to walk away, but something told her
not to, so she whispered, “He’s with us in spirit.”, gave Jax a small hug,
and returned to John and Lady Jane who were anxious to hear about their trip.

Brenda was about to speak when everyone’s eyes flew to the door.   The sight
of several servants drowning in luggage made a hearty laugh fly from Lady
Jane and John.

JJ: “Well the little lady certainly has the shopping skills of my dear wife.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brenda & Jax smiled as their hands slipped into each other’s under the table
as they waited for the main course, the turkey feast, prepared especially for
Brenda.

    Dinner was spent discussing Brend and Jax’s trip as well as Lady Jane and
John’s.  Jax’s aunt was doing just fine, but just to be cautious, the doctor
thought she should stay where she was, which was the reason why the rest of
the family wasn;t there, they were with his aunt.  Jax promised to visit his
aunt and even offered to bring Brenda along, which surprisingly to him was a
good idea as far as his parents were concerned.  The mood got a bit heavyier
as memories of Jerry got expressed, by the end of the dinner, everyone was in
tears.
    As Lady Jane & John prepared dinner, and took an emotion al break, Brenda
& Jax headed up to his room, as soon as they were out of ear range, Lady John
& Jane looked at eachother and smied.

LJ: “The children seem happy.”
J:J: “Their trip did them good.”
LJ: “Jax seems nervous, Brenda too, they almost jumped out of their skin when
the phone rang.”
JJ: “Remember how dificult it was when we waited for the test results for
each of the boys?  Neither of us slept a wink for days.”
LJ: “That’s true, I just wish we could make this easier, tell him that we
know the truth, tell him eerything, they shouldn’t have to hide from us, not
something this important.:”
JJ: “They will tell us when they’re ready.”

    Lady Jane didn’t respond with words, instead she embraced her husband in
a long hug, much like the one Jax & Brenda were sharing in his rooom.

B: “Is it horrible without Jerry?  I mean I miss him and I know you  do, but
I never got to spend a holiday with him, so I guess it’s not as hard for me,
but you spent every holidday with him, or at least spoke wiht him each
holiday.”
J: “It is hard, but you make it better.  Thank you  for being here.”
B: “There’s no where eslse I would be.  Do you think they suspect anything??”
J: “About us or the test results?”
B: “ Both.”
J: “No, it’s just as hard for them without Jerry, they’re not beign
suspecitous.”
B: “Good, because I don’t think I could make it, if I had to worry about
hiding my feelings as well as getting through this day.  Hey do you think
lady Jane will come shopping with me tomorrow?”
J: “No, but her son would be delighted too.”
B: “Won’t they suspect?”
J: “There’s nothing to suspect, I shop the day after thanksgiving every
year, and they always refuse, they hate crowds, especially lady Jane.  we can
do what ever we want and they will never know.”
B: “Thank you.”
J: “For what?”
B: “I came up here to make you feel better, but you made me feel better
instead.”
J: “You made me feel better too.”
B: “Do you know what would make me feel even better?”
J: “I’m afraid to ask.”
B: “Then I won’t tell you.”
J: “What is it?”
B: “Making love to you, I was thinking that if we can get the house to our
selves on Christmas eve, it could be perfect, we can hang mistle toe and one
thing can lead to another.”
J: “You’re not serious are you?”
B: “I’m sorry, if youre not ready”
J: “I’m ready, when the time is right.   Making love isn’t like a party, you
don’t plan it, it just happens.”
b: “But we can’t be out in the open, at least not yet.”
J”: That doesn’t mean we have to minimize are relationship to something that
can be planned like a lunch date, we’re certainly not reducing our love
making to that. When I make love to you I want it to be perfect, I want you
yo feel every aspect of it.  When we make love, the only thiung on our minds
will be love, not how much time we have.  I want to make love to you Brenda,
but not if we have to plan it.  I love you Brenda  I want”

    Brenda didnt let Jax finsih his sentance, she was too overwhelmed with
joy whcih maniifested itself in a very long, loving kiss.  Brenda stopped for
a moment for a few precious seconds the world stopped for her, for the few
seconds she had everythin she neded just looking at  Jax.  Brenda gently
kissed Jax one more time then let out words that made her feel  freer then
she thought she could ever be, “I love you too.”
 

    Brenda hoped for at least a small kiss to reward her words, but instead
Jax stood up & closed his door.

B: “You really love me?”
J:”Yes, for quite some time now.”
B: “I;ve loved you for as long as I care to remember, but why didn’t you
tell me before?”
J: “It wasn’t the right time.  Just like you don’t plan makinglove you
don’t plan when you tell someone you love them, it just happens.”
B: “So you didn’t  want me to know?”
J: “Don’t be silly, you have every right to know how I feel about you but
the words needed to come from my heart, like they did today, I didn’t mean to
tell you tonight, the words just came out.”
B: “They’re probably waiting for us/”
B: “Are you ready to go back down?”
B: “ I guess so but first I need one thing.”
J: “What’s that?”
B: “A kiss.”
J: “That’s all?”
B: “Well maybe more then one.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

    With the knew found knowledge that Jax loved her, Brneda couldn’t stop
smiling as she  walked through the over crowded malls the day after
Thanksgiving.  Not only was Brenda in a mall, one of her favorite places in
the world, but she also had Jax by her side with no worries what so ever of
being spied by someone they knew.  Jax told Brenda several times that his
parents hated crowds and would never go to a mall on the day after
Thanksgiving, so for the first time since they admitted their feelings to
each other, Brenda and Jax were able to walk hand and hand throughtoout the
mall without a worry, except of course for Jax’s test results which they were
still waiting for.
    Brenda didns’t know how long she had been in the mall for nor did she
care by the time Jax started asking her if she was hungry, which Brneda
realized meant, like when most men ask, that he was actually hungry and
hoping that she would say yes.  Though the thought of food hadn’t entered her
mind, she said she was, and headed thowards the food court with Jax.
    Brenda had to laugh as she saw Jax’s face as she pulled him closer and
closer to the Mcdoanlds window.   From what Jerry had told her, Jax wasn’t
ever one to eat at fast food joints.  he would much rather have an oyster
dinner flown half way around the world then go into a place where they
managed to serve up their food within a few minutes.  Brenda thought to offer
to go to a restaurant with Jax, but she knew that they would have to fight
for a new parking space, and she would have less shoping time, so she decide
that Jax could deal with their eating situatuion.

    To Brenda’s surprise Jax didnt’ say a word about the lack of nutrition
in the food he was served, he just smiled and ate every bite of his meal.

    By five o’clock, Brenda could barely move any more, every bone in her
body ached, and she swore her eyes were no longer willing to see clearly.  as
she and Jax walked to the car, with bags in hand, she felt as if her legs
were going to fall off.  She had succedded in doing most of her  Christmas
shopping in one day, but her body wasn’t very happy about the experience she
put them through.  Jax must have been feeling the same thing Brenda did
because when she sat in the car, looked him straight in the eyes and asked,
“where next?” he looked  at her as if she were crazy.

J: “Home of course.”
B: “we can’t there’s still more shopping to do, more sales to go to, more
time to spend with you.”
J: “Bren, we’ve been shopping since wel, before most people are even awake,
it’s getting late.:”
B: “Fine drop me at a mall, and I’ll find my own way home.”
J: “Bren don’t be this way, you know I’ll go if you want, it’s just we’ve
been shopping for so long, don’t you ever get tired?”
B: “Of shopping?  Never.  Jax?”
J: “Yes.”
B: “I just don’t want this day to end, you know.   When we go home, well we
can’t kiss and hug whenever we want, I just want to be with you, in the open,
where it’s safe, do you understand?”
J: “Of course I do , it’s just that you look like you’re going to fall over.”
B: “I wont I have you here with me, I’ll be fine.”
J: “So where next?”
B: “Um, how about that cool little mall near your house we haven’t been
there yet.”
J: “You know from the looks of everything you  bought, you won’t have to
buy anything until after Christmas.”
B: “I still have to buy for the most important person, you.”
J: “But you  got my gift.”
B: “The thing you picked out, that’s not your real gift, that’s waht I’ll
give you in front of your family the real present will have to wait until we
can be alone.”