Chapter 10

 Keith saw the light blinking on his phone and shuddered.  He really didn’t want to answer it, but he knew if he didn’t, Harlan Barrett would come down to Brenda’s office.  Better to not have to face him in person.

 “Brenda Barrett’s office,” he said tentatively.

 “Where the hell is she?” Harlan growled.

 “Mr. Barrett?” Keith played dumb.

 “I already know who I am!  I want to know where my daughter is!” he shouted.

 Keith had been dreading this moment since Brenda advised him of her travel plans.  “Ms. Barrett isn’t in today, Mr. Barrett.”

 “I understand that, you dimwit!  Where is she?”

 “She left town for a few days on some emergency,” he said slowly.  {The emergency was that she had to save her own life by getting away from you!}  “I believe she’ll be calling in for her messages, so if you want to leave word ….”

 Harlan’s words came out in a hiss.  “No, Keith, I’ll try to find her myself!”

 Keith hung up the phone.  {Good luck, daddy dearest.  I hope Brenda remembered to disconnect her cell phone before she left!}
 

 Jax had allowed Brenda out of his arms long enough that Monday to go home and pack for the trip to Malibu.  Early Tuesday morning, his driver picked her up and took her to the Port Charles Airport, where they boarded the J&J Jacks jet and flew to Los Angeles.

 When they arrived in LA, after a quick stop at the J&J Jacks offices, Jax drove Brenda to the Malibu house, and she fell in love with it at first sight.  It had a commanding view of the ocean and lots of windows and open, airy rooms.  There was a heated pool on the terrace and steps that led down to the ocean for swimming or surfing.  After a quick supper prepared by the staff, Jax dismissed them for the night.  They walked on the beach and talked about everything and nothing.  Then they returned to the house and Jax carried Brenda to his room and made love to her until the wee hours of the morning.

 Brenda felt the warmth of the sun on her bare skin and rolled and stretched like a contented feline.  She kept her eyes closed for a moment, remembering the delights of the previous night, but when she reached to the other side of the bed, it was empty.  She opened her eyes, sat up, and, holding the sheet to her nude body, looked around confusedly for Jax.  She heard faint noises coming from the room next door, so she grabbed a fluffy white robe and put it on to investigate.

 As she peeked in the room, she saw Jax, but he looked unlike any other time she had ever seen him.  He was dressed in some kind of white jacket and trousers, barefoot, and he was engrossed in some kind of weaving and bobbing ritual.  His hands sliced through the air and he occasionally gave a sharp kick, but his concentration was intense  ---  the same as it was any time he did something.

 He suddenly looked up from his movements, and caught her standing at the door staring at him.  He came over to her to give her a big morning hug and delicious kiss.  “Good morning, love.  Did you sleep well?”

 “What little sleep I got,” she said impishly.  “What are you doing?  I don’t remember white pajamas – I thought yours were blue.”

 “These aren’t pajamas, my dear.  This is my gee.”

 “I beg your pardon?”

 He took her under his arm and brought her out to the kitchen, where a large platter of fresh fruit, pastries, and juice awaited them.  “Remember I told you Grandma Josie takes karate?  Well, she got me interested in it, and I’ve been taking lessons myself.  This is my karate uniform, called a gee.”

 “You take karate?  Are you any good at it?” she asked, biting into a large jelly donut.

The jelly oozed out onto her chin, and before she could wipe it with a napkin, Jax leaned over and licked the sweet sticky substance off sensually.  He looked deeply into her dark brown eyes and said slowly, “Darling, you should know by now that I’m good at everything I do!”

{Is it warm in here?}  Brenda decided to lighten things a little.  “No, silly, are you some kind of a kung fu master or something?”

“It’s called a black belt, Brenda.  Kung fu is different from regular karate.  And no, I’m not a black belt yet, but I have a 2nd kyu brown belt, which is still pretty close.  I have to get in a few more hours practice, and then write my thesis and take my test for my black belt.”

“You have to write a thesis for a karate belt?  You’re kidding, right?”

“I wish.  It’s hard work, not just a matter of punching and yelling loud.”  He took a long drink of juice.  “I was going to a work out this morning, in fact.  Sensei Kenji is in town, and I always try to take one of his classes if I can.  Want to come along?”

“Are you sure I won’t disturb anything?”

“Well, having you there might be a distraction for me.”  He thought for a minute.  “I’ve got it!  Grandma keeps some of her extra gees here at the house.  You can take the class with me!”
 

As they drove to the class, Brenda glanced down at her white uniform and hoped she was doing the right thing.  She had taken exercise classes to get her new curves, but never anything like this.  But, she wanted Jax to know that she was open to his interests and wasn’t just some stuffy, stolid business woman.  “So, since your belt is brown and mine is white, I guess that white is for beginners, huh?”

Jax had one hand on the steering wheel of the Bentley and reached over to hold hers with the other.  “This uniform goes back to ancient Japanese tradition.  They didn’t do laundry as often as we do, back then.  So, the men who got into fights and won had the dirtiest belts.  A man with a black belt literally had won the most fights and was the fiercest fighter.  So, today, beginners wear white, then graduate to yellow, orange, green, blue, brown, and finally black.  The darker the color, the higher the rank.”

“And Grandma Josie is…?”

Jax stopped to think for a moment.  “I think she’s a green belt right now.  She’s looking for a good teacher in Port Charles, so she doesn’t work out as often as she should.”

Brenda just sat stunned at the mental picture of Grandma Josie stomping some fierce 6-foot bad guy.

When they arrived at the dojo, Jax introduced Brenda to all of the teachers and other students.  He showed her where to put her things, and the appropriate gestures of respect for the teacher.  “You always bow when entering the room, and of course, bow to any other black belts that may be here.”

After an opening period of reflection, the class dove into warm-ups.  Brenda’s weight-loss workouts were nothing compared to the 100 sit-ups and more than 50 push-ups Jax was required to do, along with the rest of the brown belts.  {No wonder he has that flat stomach and great looking chest!}  Then the class divided, and Jax explained to her that they would be practicing the moves she had seen him doing this morning.  “It’s called kata,” he explained softly.  “Sets of basic kicks and punches are strung together, kind of like a dance.  It’s performed to illustrate our knowledge of the basic moves.  It also improves the concentration.”

Brenda watched in amazement as Jax moved to the center of the mat and bowed to the sensei (teacher).  He then gracefully began to go through the kata, lost in his own world of concentration.  She had never seen him like this – powerful, strong, sleek, almost gliding through the moves, like a stealthy jungle cat.

At the end of the class, Brenda’s heart rose in her mouth as she watched the students move to stacks of boards and concrete bricks.  Jax selected a board, and while another student was holding it, raised his right leg to the side.  He gave a powerful kick and cracked it in two.  He then took two thick concrete blocks and stacked them on the sides of some other bricks.

Brenda leaned over to the sensei, who had been very friendly and helpful explaining terms to her during the class.  “Is he going to try to break those?”

Sensei Kenji smiled serenely at her.  “No, he is GOING to break them, dear.”

She watched Jax wrap his right hand with tape, and then position himself over the bricks.  He began to breathe deeply.  He placed the palm of his hand on the bricks, and kept breathing and landing the palm softly to get just the right placement.  Brenda couldn’t imagine those hands, which could be so tender and bring her to such ecstasy, doing anything as rough as this.  Jax suddenly let out a yell, and striking the bricks, pushed through them and they broke in half.  Brenda jumped up and down cheering and clapping, and then realized that she should have been politely clapping like the rest of the dignified students.

She walked over to Jax since class appeared to be over.  “Is it against the rules to give you a hug of congratulations?”

He was winded but his eyes sparkled.  “I’ll collect my reward later,” he promised.  He then looked at her sharply.  “You want to try it?”

Brenda was shocked.  “Me?  Break something?  On purpose?”

He chuckled and went to get her a wooden board, about 1 inch thick.  “Go put your shoe on your right foot.”  She did as instructed, and returned to him with a thick-soled athletic shoe protecting her foot.  “Since it’s your first time,” he explained.  “Now, just concentrate on the board, and aim, and then stomp down hard.  Gravity will help the process.”

She tried, and her foot bounced off the board with a resounding thunk.  She smiled at him weakly.  “Oh, well.”  He insisted she try again, but the same thing happened.

He thought for a moment, and then leaned in close to her.  He wet his finger and put a “spit spot” on the center of the board.  “Brenda, I want you to imagine that Sonny’s face is right here in the center of the board.”  He stood up and smiled as he saw her new determination.

She took aim, and with a blood-curdling shriek, there was a loud thwack as the board was history.  “I knew you could do it,” he said, putting his arm around her.  “Just needed the right motivation.”
 
 

Over the next few days, Brenda saw many new facets of Jax.  He had to handle the business problem that was the cause for their trip, and Brenda spent some time shopping while he did.  They took long walks together, and played like children on a playground they found in a park.  They went for long afternoons at the beach, and she found out he was a strong swimmer and loved to surf.

One evening, he suggested that they go to the baseball game.  Brenda was surprised that he got them such luxurious seats in the Dodger box, but understood why when Tommy LaSorda walked in and greeted Jax by name.

“Jax, you old son-of-a-gun, how are you?  What brings you to our fair city?  You’re too late to buy the team, you know,” Tommy said, shaking his hand.

“Well, I did come here on business originally, Tom, but there have been other aspects to the trip, too,” Jax responded, ogling Brenda.  “May I present my lovely companion, Ms. Brenda Barrett.”

Tommy looked at her, then back at Jax.  “She’s much too good for you, Jax.”  He then took Brenda’s hand and said to her in a stage whisper, “You let me know if he steps out of line, young lady.  You can’t trust these Aussies any further than you can throw them.”  After they shared a laugh, Tommy said, “How’s that bad boy brother of yours?”

Jax looked surprised.  “Didn’t you know?  He got himself engaged to be married.”  He brought Tommy up-to-date on Jerry’s activities while they watched the ballgame.  They had a private conversation in the back of the box, and Tommy left for a while.

Brenda was amazed at Jax’s knowledge of the game.  She was really enjoying herself, something that never happened when she was forced to accompany Harlan and business associates to a Yankee game.

Tommy stopped by during the 7th inning stretch and gave Jax a small package.  “You tell Jerry that his soon-to-be-son can’t play baseball unless he has the right equipment.”  Brenda saw he had given Jax a baseball autographed by all the team members.  She knew Lucas would treasure it, and her heart burst with pride to think Jax had been thoughtful enough to request it.
 

By Friday, Jax’s business fire had been put out and they were getting ready to return to Port Charles.  They had spent the day swimming and playing on the beach, and Brenda had just finished taking a shower so that she could get dressed for the return trip.  She had on Jax’s fluffy white terrycloth robe and padded out to the breakfast room.  Jax was sitting at the table, gazing at the sunset through the windows.  He had a sketch pad in front of him, and Brenda watched him as he tried to capture the beauty on paper.

He sensed her presence in the room and turned to her.  “How long have you been there?”  He tried to cover the other drawings, but she came forward and stopped him.

“Don’t tell me – the great Jasper Jacks is actually shy about something?”  She pulled some of the drawings out from under his hands.  “Jax, these are really beautiful.”

He got that “aw, shucks,” look that she so adored.  “I keep trying, but sometimes when I see a sunset like this, I don’t think anyone could capture it on paper.  I don’t think it’s intended to be frozen like that.”

She kept looking at the drawings.  “Landscapes, clouds, sunsets – doesn’t V ever teach you to draw people?”

He shook his head.  “I’ve tried a few, but they’re harder than you could imagine.  V is going to have to give me a few more lessons, because right now they still look like cartoons.”  He thought for a moment.  “Of course, maybe it’s because I’ve never had the right model.”

Brenda recognized his playful mood.  “Oh, really.  So what do you intend to do about it?”

He pulled all the drawings into a pile, and spoke very evenly.  “Well, of course, the way any good business man makes a decision when there are several possibilities.  I’ll just have to do interviews and conduct some try-outs.”

Brenda saw his game.  “Oh, and what kind of candidates will you exactly be looking for, Mr. Jacks?”

“Are you saying you might be a candidate for the position, Ms. Barrett?”

Brenda now knew that they were no longer having a serious discussion about art.  Sex with Jax was never boring or routine.

“Well, it depends.  Would the models be required to pose in the buff?”

“Ms. Barrett,” he said with an air of superiority.  “Obviously you have never studied the great works of art.  Of course I would be asking them to pose nude.  How else could I capture the true shape of the human form?”

“You know, Mr. Jacks, I really would like to audition for the job myself.”  He gave her a, “Well, I’m waiting,” look.

She smiled as she backed away from him to stand in the light of the setting sun.  “Do you want to see my qualifications all at once or in stages?”

He swallowed hard.  “Whatever works for you.”

She turned her back to him, looked over one shoulder, and dropped the robe slowly to the ground.  Her recently shampooed hair dropped gracefully down her back and her body glistened in the orange light.

“I’ll need to see ALL of your qualifications, Ms. Barrett.”

“Of course, Mr. Jacks.  But please remember how very badly I want this job.  I mean, the extra money can mean so much to a girl on her own with a house to pay for, you know.”  She turned to face him and tried for the “eat-your-heart-out” look.

He rose from the table and came to stand just inches from her.  “Now, Ms. Barrett, I’m not sure how familiar you are with the art world, but you should also know that some artists, myself included, do not work by sight alone.”

“No?”

“No.”

She grinned broadly.  “Oh, I understand.  You not only work by sight, you work by touch.”

“Exactly,” he replied, trying to keep a professional tone in his voice.  “So I’ll need to check your qualifications a little more closely.”  He cupped her face in his hands, and then ran them down her neck to her shoulders.  “Very nice.  Good bone structure.”

As his hands moved further down, she thought she might pass out from the pleasure.  “Um… is this audition going to take, like, a really long time?” she asked breathlessly.

“Why?” he asked innocently.  “Are you in a hurry?”

“You might say that.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

He continued his inspection.  “Good muscle tone.  Nice, firm abs.”

She glanced down at him.  “Speaking of firm…”

“Yes?”

“Never mind.  Go on.”

Suddenly, Jax inhaled sharply.  “Ms. Barrett, we obviously have a misunderstanding here.  It is the artist who works by the sense of touch – not the model!”

She grinned at him impishly.  “Says who?”

“Says the artist.”  He slowly turned her around and ran his hands down her back from her shoulders.  “Good posture.  Nice straight spine.”  He paused a moment.  “Very nice buns, Ms. Barrett.”

He continued his inspection for a few minutes more before Brenda was gasping for air.  “Were you aware, Ms. Barrett, of the actual number of muscles and bones that make up the leg region between the knee and the…”

“Jax!!!”

“Yes, Ms. Barrett?”

“Shut up and make love to me!”

So he did.
 
 

As they lay in the waning light in the bedroom, Jax ruffled Brenda’s hair.  “Brenda, I’m afraid I have a confession to make.”

She gazed up at him with wide brown doe-eyes.  “Oh, no, you’re not going to tell me you’ve got a wife and three kids back in Ohio, are you?”

He pushed her face away playfully, then turned her chin back to face him.  “When I first met you again, I made some assumptions about you.  Typical feminist business-woman, cut-throat, cold, only thinks of herself …”

“Gee, I didn’t know you thought so highly of me,” she said sarcastically.

“Will you let me finish?  This is hard enough for me, admitting I was wrong about something.”  She looked deep into his eyes.  “But I was wrong – very wrong.  You’re warm, and soft, and spontaneous ….”  She caught her breath and tears formed in her eyes.  “And I’m damned glad you agreed to come here with me.”

She snuggled up to him, and knew her heart couldn’t be fuller.  She had fallen in love with him.
 
 

To be continued ….
 TORN

Chapter 11

Brenda stared out the window, finding it hard to believe that she was only 50 feet away from the house she had grown up in.  She could still see herself sitting on the front steps, watching her sister and the Jacks brothers racing over the property, having fun that she could only imagine.

Now, the house looked cold and sterile, but had it looked any different then?  She had moved out when she went to London on business, and had moved into her own cottage when she returned.  Thankfully, she hadn’t been in the house to welcome her father’s new resident mistress, Katherine Bell.  She really didn’t know that much about Katherine, but her father had often mentioned his plans for them all to have dinner together soon.

She suddenly became aware that Jax had come up behind her, and put his arms around her.  “Bad memories?”

“You know me too well,” she groaned.  Then she turned in his embrace to face him.  “But the past few weeks have created some entirely new memories that I would much rather remember.”

Jax’s face grew attractively flushed.  They had been inseparable since their return from Malibu.  They spoke on the phone each day and often had dinner together.  The time they spent together was enchanted, and the nights were magic.

 Brenda could tell that he knew exactly which memories he was remembering, but the sudden entrance of the rest of the Jacks clan prevented him from taking her on a trip down memory lane.  He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Later!!”

 Brenda had received a call from Lady Jane soon after they returned to set up the brainstorming session/dinner for the charity festival.  Jerry, Bobbie and Lucas were also invited, and John and Grandma Josie had also made it their business to be included.

 Lucas came racing into the den where Brenda and Jax were.  “Is Grandpa in here?  He promised to take me to the park to play ball with me after supper.”

 At that point, John, Jane, and Josie all came in the room.

 “Is somebody in here in need of a pitching coach?” John rumbled.

 Lucas ran for John, who swept him up in the air, tickling him as he went.  Josie and Jane sat down at the conference table, as Brenda walked over and Bobbie and Jerry entered the room.

 Josie looked over her reading glasses at her son.  “Now, John, you watch Lucas, and if he looks pale or woozy, you give him one of those sugar wafers, all right?”

 “I know, mother, I know,” John said wearily.  “And we’ll just be in the park down the block, so we’ll come back right away and check his blood sugar.”

 Josie crooked her finger at Lucas.  He came over to her and she pulled him into a hug and spoke to him confidentially.  “Now, Lucas, I need you to do a very important job for me.”

 “What’s that, Great-Grandma?”

 Josie looked askance at John.  “Your grandpa needs to be sure to walk every day because he had those troublesome chest pains last year.  So I want you to be my spy and give me a full report when you get back.  Make sure he doesn’t just sit on the bench and watch all the pretty girls!  And I don’t want him driving you to the park on that dang fool golf cart thing he has!”

 “OK, great-grandma,” Lucas replied, and kissed her on the cheek.  He ran to John, grabbed his hand, and they were out the door in a flash, with John chuckling all the way.

 “You know,” Bobbie said as she sat down at the table, “you all spoil him shamelessly.  And I love you for it.”

 Jerry reached over and hugged Bobbie.  He then turned to Josie.  “Grandma, I’m surprised you don’t mind Lucas calling you Great Grandma.”

 Josie looked surprised.  “Well, what in the sam hill do you think I would expect him to call me?”

 “Well,” Jerry hesitated, “I just didn’t know how you would feel – I mean, it kind of … how can I say this diplomatically?  It puts you in a category with a lot of  … um… senior citizens.”

 Josie put down her pencil and paper.  “Call a spade a spade, Jerry.  You mean it makes me sound old, right?”  Jerry nodded sheepishly.

She took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair.  “Well, the way I see it, it all depends on the way you interpret it.  Now, I’ve always been a GREAT mother.  Just look at my wonderful son.  So now, I’m just figure that I’m a …”

 They all finished it together for her.  “…. GREAT-GRANDMOTHER!!!”  Josie looked pleased with herself as they all shook their heads at her craftiness.

 Brenda sat down at the table with Jax.  She truly loved this family, and they way they loved each other.  She stole a look at Jax.  Now if he could just love her, too.
 

 An hour later, Jax and Brenda left the house.  The initial plans for the carnival had been made, and Brenda promised Lady Jane that she would set aside some time during the coming week to get together with her again to work on the corporate donors.  The fresh night air and the sultry jazz music on the radio lulled Brenda to sleep in the Jag – also the fact that she hadn’t slept much in the past few nights. Thanks to Jax, of course.

 When she came to, she noticed that Jax had driven back to the Port Charles Hotel.  He scooped her out of the car and was striding through the lobby towards the elevator.

 “Jax!” she whispered angrily.  “Put me down!  I’m awake now and people will think I’m inebriated!  I know where I am!”

 He chuckled as the elevator doors closed and he pressed a button.  “Ahh, my dear, but you don’t know where you’re going!”

 She turned to notice that he hadn’t pressed the button for the penthouse, but for the gym facility.  “We’re going to work out, at this time of night?”

 The elevator doors opened, and he set her down gently.  He stretched and bounced on the balls of his feet.  “You know, after one of Mum’s delicious meals and a stimulating evening with the old folks,”  -- big leer here – “the one thing that always gets me going again is a good swim.”

 He led her through the double doors into the pool area of the gym.  It was strangely deserted.

 Brenda looked confused.  “Jax, a swim does sound nice, but…”

 “But, what?  I know you can swim.  So what’s the problem?”

 Brenda brushed up against him and blushed.  “Jax, I don’t have a swimsuit with me!”

 Jax grinned his adorable dimpled grin that melted her heart.  “I repeat, so what’s the problem?”  At her consternation, he finally leaned close to her and explained.  “There won’t be any other swimmers here with us.  I rented out the pool for the entire evening.”  At Brenda’s surprised look, he continued.  “About halfway through Mum’s incredibly boring meeting, I thought of this little private swim with you, and I made some calls.  All I could see in my mind’s eye was you, naked in the water, with me.”

 Brenda shuffled her toe a little, and then gazed up at him shyly.  “Well, then, what’s keeping us?”  She moved off to the side, and began to take off the simple A-line dress she had worn.  Jax was behind her immediately, pushing her hands away from the back zipper.

 “Let me,” he whispered raggedly.  The zipper came down with agonizing slowness, as Jax spread kisses over her back as it was exposed.  Brenda began to doubt that she would have the will power to make it as far as the pool.  But soon, she stood in his arms, Venus de Milo and Adonis.

 “Weren’t we supposed to be swimming?” she asked, and pulled away just long enough to pull out of his embrace and dash for the water.  She dove into the deep end, and the water felt marvelous against her bare skin.  She heard a loud splash soon after, and when she came to the surface, she looked for him.  She swam over to the side of the pool and held on, looking anxiously for him.

 Suddenly, she felt hands creeping up her legs, and a blonde head broke the water’s surface right before her.  He braced his hands on the side of the pool behind her, and she could feel that he was as aroused as she was.

 “I think we’re in dangerous waters here,” she said between kisses.

 “Don’t worry,” he breathed into her lips, “I’m a certified lifeguard.”

 She wrapped her arms around his neck, and putting one arm around her waist, he pushed off from the side and pulled her with him into more shallow waters.  When he could stand on the bottom again, he pushed her against the side of the pool.  His hands, hidden beneath the surface of the water, were finding all of the places he knew so well would drive her to the brink of ecstasy.  The glittering water was reflected in the lights glittering in her eyes.  Just as she thought she couldn’t stand any more pleasure, he brought their bodies together in the most intimate of embraces, and she moaned with delight.

 Just as he thought they would both go over the edge, she pulled back to gaze deeply into his eyes.  “Jax,” she murmured against his mouth.

 “What, love?  Tell me what you want.”

 She smiled at him.  “I want you to take me to your mother’s for dinner every night.”  He brought her in for another deep kiss, and it muffled their cries as they reached nirvana together.
 

 Much later, they managed to make themselves presentable and went to the penthouse, arms around each other.  Brenda had agreed to spend the night there, and Jax unlocked the door of the penthouse after giving her one more deep kiss in the hallway.  As they came in and he threw his keys on the desk, he saw a key with a note waiting there.

 She came in and closed the door behind them.  He turned around to her with the key in his hand.  “Got room for this on your keychain?”

 She could barely contain herself.  “Why?”

 He tried to act nonchalant.  “Well, sometimes I’m on the phone in business negotiations and I can’t always get to the door to answer it when you come over.  So I thought I would have a key made for you.”

 Brenda thought her heart would burst with joy as she took it from him.  She treasured it in her palm for a moment and then put it into her purse.  Jax took the purse and placed it on the desk behind them.  “Do you know that I can’t get enough of you?” he asked, sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her off to the penthouse bedroom to prove just that.  Quite thoroughly.
 
 

 Several days later, it was late afternoon and Brenda was stepping out of a long bubble bath getting ready for a dinner date with Jax.  She briskly toweled herself dry, applying a liberal dose of the scented dusting powder she knew he liked so much.

 She had been just about floating on air ever since the other night when Jax gave her the key to his penthouse.  It certainly indicated some kind of serious relationship, and she didn’t think he had done that with any of the other women he had dated.  She sighed as she pulled on her lingerie, knowing that he probably was still infatuated with Julia.  But although the key didn’t represent the whole cake, it certainly was better than just crumbs.

 As she was struggling with her hose, she heard the front doorbell ring.  Checking the time, she was surprised to see that Jax was this early.  He had called her earlier and said he was tied up in some important business negotiations and might be late, but that he would be there to take her to dinner tonight.  As the bell rang again, she pulled on a satin robe and ran down the stairs of the cottage barefoot.

 She opened the door breathlessly.  “I thought you had some more negotiating to …. Mr. Corinthos!!”  She stood open-mouthed in the door, shocked to see him standing on her porch, large bouquet of flowers in hand.

 Sonny’s eyes got larger as he took in her partially-clothed state.  “Brenda, you really should be more careful before you open the door,” he said as he came into the foyer.  “Living out here in such a secluded place, all alone, you never know who might come to your door.”

 {Especially you!}  She closed the door, holding her robe tightly shut and following him into her living room.

 “This is really quite nice,” he said, sitting down on her couch.  “Did you decorate it yourself?”

 “Mr. Corinthos …” she began.

 He stopped her.  “Sonny, please.  I think after our several dates we can be on a first name basis, don’t you?”

 She took a deep breath to keep herself from using the karate move she learned on him.  “Sonny, I don’t recall that we had an appointment for this afternoon.  Why exactly are you here?”

 “I’m a very direct man, Brenda.  I usually get what I want.  And what I want is to know why you have such a strong aversion to me.”

 “I never said I did,” Brenda replied, sitting down on a chair far from the sofa.

 “Oh, I can tell you do.  If not during my unfortunate little scene at the Nurses’ Ball, I can see from the way you hold yourself whenever I’m within 10 feet of you.”

 Brenda sighed.  “I don’t really dislike you, Sonny.  I just don’t happen to want to go out with you.  I’m rather involved with someone at the present …”

 “You mean Jasper Jacks,” he interrupted her.

 “It really doesn’t matter who it is,” she said defensively.

 “Ah, yes, but your social life does matter to me.  It means everything to me,” he said gleefully.

 The light dawned.  “Oh, so you’re aware of my father’s plans for us.”

 Sonny sat back into the plush couch.  “Not only aware, but anxiously looking forward to them.  The merger will mean a great deal for my status, and my personal holdings.  Power is very important to me, Brenda, and by merging with Barrett Industries, I will have a lot of it.”

 “I can understand your greed for power, Sonny,” Brenda said grudgingly.  “Not approve of it, but understand it.  But what does that have to do with tying yourself down in a loveless marriage?”

 “The marriage portion of the merger is not as abhorrent as you might think, Brenda.  A marriage for business purposes can be very fulfilling to both parties.  You will acquire more status and money than you’ve ever dreamed of.  You’ll be able to throw large parties at the drop of a hat.  Be accepted into every social circle with open arms.  Be a charming hostess, have a huge house decorated at your every whim, have freedom of movement anywhere in the world.…”

 “But what about love, Mr. Corinthos?  You haven’t mentioned that word once, and it seems to me to be an integral part of any successful marriage.”

 “There’s the key – isn’t that rather a contradiction in terms, successful marriage?  How many of them do you really know of?  A business marriage can flourish without any of the pressures that love puts on it.”

 “But nobody can live without love!” she protested.

 “Ah, Brenda, the romantic soul to the end,” he said sarcastically.  “I never said that we would be without love in this marriage.”  She looked at him with contempt.  “It just might not be for each other.”  She again had to keep her mouth from dropping open.  “I would never force you to share my bed, Brenda.  I won’t be a jealous or demanding husband.  If you prefer to find your emotional attachment in other places …”

 “You mean, have affairs,” she spit venomously.

 “Have affairs,” he repeated, “as long as you remain discreet, I would have no objection.  In fact, I find that I am rather involved with a young woman at the present and probably would want to continue that relationship after our marriage.”

 Brenda shook her head.  She had had Ned do some checking after her father approached her about the marriage, and he told her that Sonny had been seen skulking around town with a certain Lily Rivera.  Apparently he didn’t intend to change that.

 “So as I said,” he continued, “as long as you can be discreet about it, I won’t place any physical demands on you during the marriage.  I’ve seen too many marriages based on “love” and the trouble it can cause.  You won’t have to worry about facing me across the dinner table every night or holding my hand adoringly each morning at breakfast.  I can be totally detached …”

 “Detached and cold!” she practically shouted, jumping up from her chair.  “Well, I don’t want a detached, cold husband!  I want a warm, loving husband …”

 “And that’s what you think you’ll get with Jasper Jacks?” Sonny snorted.  “I don’t think he’ll exactly fit that description.  I’ve had him checked out, you see.  Oh, his body is probably warm enough, but he’ll never marry you.  Seems that when it comes to the “love” department, he’s got that word reserved for your older sister, Julia.”

 “This is really none of your business,” Brenda hissed, tears springing to her eyes.

 “But it is my business, my dear, particularly if it affects our future plans.  The man has apparently decided, according to my information, that he’ll never love any other woman, and bounces across the globe from one playmate to another.  All you can ever hope to have with him is a torrid affair – which, I have already explained, wouldn’t be a problem as long as you two can manage to keep it from public scrutiny.”

 Brenda had just about had enough.  “Mr. Corinthos, I will never, ever marry you.  Now get out!”

 He turned and headed for the door.  “Never say never, my dear.  It’s been a pleasure.  Oh, and ….keep the flowers.”

 He let himself out while Brenda stood in the living room, blood boiling.  She took the bouquet and began ripping the blooms off the stems, and then threw the entire mass on the floor, dissolving into a chair in tears.

 After a short cry, she realized that she needed to pull herself together since Jax would be arriving shortly.  As if by divine intervention, the doorbell rang.  Wiping her face and rubbing her eyes, she took a deep breath and answered the door.  Jax stood before her, looking back down the gravel road leading up to her cottage.

 “Wasn’t that Sonny’s car I saw…” he turned to face Brenda.  “Well, I guess I was right, judging from the tear stains.”  He gently traced the path of a tear down her cheek, and she instinctively leaned her cheek into his palm.  Walking into the cottage, he pulled her into his arms.  “Want to tell me about it?”

 She buried her face in the light blue casual shirt he wore, inhaling that scent of him that she now found so familiar and comforting.  “Oh, just the usual.”

 Jax pulled her back, and taking in her state of undress, he looked deeply into her eyes.  “He didn’t do anything, did he?  I mean, like the night of the Nurses’ Ball?”  His hands on her arms were starting to tremble.

 She patted his chest reassuringly.  “No, no, nothing like that.”  He visibly relaxed.  She turned and led him into the living room.  “He just came by to express his undying non-emotions for me and press the issue of the marriage.”

 Jax saw the flowers on the floor.  “I take it they weren’t your favorite variety?”

 Brenda sadly shook her head and took his hand.  “Come on upstairs with me and I’ll tell you all about it while I finish getting ready.”

 He went up to her bedroom with her and she related her conversation with Sonny to him, carefully editing the part about Jax only wanting to have an affair with her.  Jax shook his head in disbelief.  “What a cold, heartless monster.  I’ve done some checking on him myself, you know.”  Brenda turned slightly as she was styling her hair to listen.  “My people have been picking up some disturbing threads that indicate that he might be involved with organized crime.”

 Brenda was sitting at her dressing table, and almost dropped her makeup brush.  “Jax! That can’t be true!  If he really is, and Barrett Industries has ties to him after the merger, we could lose everything!”

 Jax came over to stand behind her at the dressing table.  “I’m sorry, sweetie.  I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure.”  He gently stroked her shoulders through the satin dressing gown.  “Come on, you’ve had an upsetting evening.  Let me take you to dinner and let’s just forget the whole thing for now.”

 As she continued her make-up and application of perfume, Jax sat back on the bed.  “You know, there’s something intriguing about watching a woman go through the ritual of getting ready to go out.”

 She smiled coyly at him.  “What – to see the before and after?”

 “No.  It’s kind of like a carefully choreographed dance.  The strokes, the moves – the things that a woman does naturally.  It’s very interesting to watch the whole process…” he came up behind her now and whispered in her ear, “… and sexy as hell!!”

 She smiled at his reflection in the mirror, and rose to get her dress off the closet door.  She briefly stopped at her dresser, and took something off of it and tossed it to him.  “Think fast!!  Something in return!”

 Jax caught the object, and opened his palm to look at it.  It was a key – obviously to Brenda’s cottage.  As she disappeared into the bathroom to dress, he held it in his hand and traced its contours gently.  He doubted that Brenda had ever felt enough about any other man to give them a key.  It was really like having a piece of Brenda herself.  A precious gift.
 

 They had a leisurely dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant, and Jax found Brenda’s favorite jazz music station on the radio as they drove back to her cottage.  Brenda had almost dozed off in the car again, when she suddenly sat up straight with a panicked look.

 “What’s the matter?  I thought you were forgetting that whole conversation with what’s-his-name.”

 Brenda let out a breath and relaxed against the seat.  “No, it’s some other bad news I’m afraid I have.”

 Jax smiled his adorable crooked smile.  “Is this the part where you tell me that you have a husband and three kids back in Ohio?”

 Brenda slapped his arm playfully.  “No, silly.  I’m afraid we’ll have to call off some dates next week.  L&B has a tour coming up for the Eddie Maine and the Idle Rich and Lois needs me to come with her to help with the road work.  I’m going to have to go to Boston for a few days.”

 Jax thought for a moment, and then covered Brenda’s hand with his.  “You know ….. I’ve never been to Boston.”

 Brenda’s face broke into a delighted glow.  “Mr. Jacks, I just love the way your mind works.  Have you ever been to a rock concert?”

 Good morning!  This chapter is a mixture of romance and what my writing teachers in college called “dramatic tension.”  Although the next few chapters include a lot of that “tension,” please stick with me for an eventual happy J&B ending!  Your feedback is welcome as always. -------Jan

TORN

Chapter 12

 “You’re gonna have to pump up the base if we want that number to sound decent,” Lois shouted.  Eddie Maine (alias Ned Ashton) and the Idle Rich were going through a sound check prior to their final concert in the Boston area.

 Lois came up the aisle of the Fleet Center muttering.  “If God had intended rock music to be played in sports arenas, he would have taught hockey players how to play guitars.”  Brenda was standing halfway up the stairs of the cavernous hall, double-checking things on a clipboard.  Every now and then, she would glance up at one of the top rows, where Jax was seated, watching the whole scene with amusement.

 The idea of Jax coming with her on the tour had been brilliant.  They had gotten to spend a lot more time together, since she didn’t have a lot of responsibilities each day until the actual concert.  Since neither one had ever been to the Boston area, they played tourist and took in some of the historical sights.  When it came time to set up for the concert, he was amazed at the intricacies of the music business, something he always thought of before as just “noise.”

 He even came to set-up sessions like this one, sat through boring sound checks, and never seemed ill-at-ease.  Truth be told, he loved to watch Brenda in her element.  The woman seemed to be like a complicated gem, with him discovering new facets every day.  He sat now, watching her direct technicians and using complicated terms he knew nothing about.  Just to make sure he wasn’t totally out-of-touch with his world, he had brought his laptop with him as he always did, and it now hummed as he checked back with V for messages.

 Lois walked up to Brenda.  “Does he have that computer thing instead of … like … a teddy bear?” Lois asked with a smirk.

 Brenda slapped her arm.  “Well, let’s just say if he ever wants to sleep with it, I think I need more help from my coach!”

 Lois looked back at him and then stood shoulder to shoulder with Brenda, watching the men work on setting up the stage.  “So I take it things between you and Captain Blue Eyes are going well?”

 Brenda clasped her clipboard to her chest.  “Lois, I am so happy that sometimes I’m afraid to wake up for fear this will all turn out to be a dream.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this contented.  And I have you to thank for it.”

 Lois giggled.  “I don’t think it’s me between the sheets at night that’s putting that dreamy expression on your face, girlfriend!”

 “Lois!  You know what I mean!” Brenda sputtered, making sure Jax couldn’t hear them.  “If you hadn’t suggested that I go to Jax and, well, …. You know….”

 “Charm the pants off of him?”

 “Yeessss,” Brenda drawled, “well, I don’t think we’d be this close today.  You are a genius, Mrs. Ashton.  Have I told you that lately?”

 “No, but you can tell me as often as you like,” Lois replied.  “For a long time, I thought I was doomed to be the dumbest girl in the neighborhood.”

 “Why?” Brenda asked softly.

 “Well, I was one of those little girls who fell in love with Shirley Temple, and so did my ma.  I had every frilly dress that the store sold and one day my got me all dressed up to go get my picture taken.  So there I was, in my petticoats and ringlet curls and black patent leather shoes, and just as I was twirling my finger in my dimple, who came in but my older brother Louie.”

 “Not too nice, huh?” Brenda asked as the moved back to where Jax was sitting.

 “Well, there I am, looking cuter than all get-out, and he gives me this withering look and says, “You may be cute, but you sure are dumb.”  So I say, “I am not dumb!”  And he says, “You ARE dumb.  You are so dumb, I bet you can’t even spell cantaloupe.”  And to this day, Brenda,” Lois said, sitting in the row behind her and Jax, “I can’t spell the word cantaloupe!”

 As both women sat down laughing hysterically, Jax looked up.  “Something funny about cantaloupe?”

 “Yeah,” Lois winked at Brenda.  She pointed at the lap-top.  “Can that thing spell cantaloupe?”

 Brenda was laughing so hard, she doubled over in her seat.  Jax just shook his head at their antics, but was glad Brenda had such a good friend.

 Just then, a garish orange light shone down on the stage.  Brenda shot up out of her seat.  “NO!” she shouted at the control booth.  “You can’t use that shade!  They’ll all look like …..” she stared back at Lois and both women dissolved in laughter.  “CANTALOUPE!”

 As Brenda ran up the stairs to the control booth to get the issue straightened out, Lois leaned forward to stare over Jax’s shoulder at the computer screen.  She watched him type furiously for a little while and images come and go quickly on the screen.  He looked back at her.

 “Any questions?” he asked.

 She leaned forward and asked conspiratorially, “Yeah.  Do you have Super Mario Brothers on that thing?”
 
 

 The concert scene amazed Jax.  He never knew that such a small number of women could make that much noise.  As he stood in the wings with Brenda and Lois, he saw the room keys and lingerie come flying up on the stage, and had to consciously close his mouth.

 He leaned over to Brenda.  “Doesn’t she ever get worried that Ned will be … tempted?”

 “Nah,” Brenda whispered.  “Can’t you see how much in love they are when they’re together?  She trusts him.”  As Jax nodded, Brenda crooked her finger for him to come closer.  “Besides, he knows she would kill him or have her family do the job for her.”
 
 

 After another successful concert, Jax and Brenda and Ned and Lois returned to their hotel to pack for the trip home tomorrow.  Once they got inside their room, Brenda collapsed across the bed on her back.  Jax lay down on his side next to her.  He started tracing little patterns on her forehead, making her crinkle her nose.

 “Tired?” he asked with a grin.

 “Sort of,” she replied with a smile, her eyes still shut.  “Depends on what you had in mind.”

 Jax lay back on the bed too.  “I still can’t get over the way those women were throwing themselves at Ned.”

 Brenda opened one eye, then rolled over to face him.  “Why, are you saying that because you don’t see what they’re attracted to?”

 Jax turned his head to look at her.  “Well, love, I know this is probably a sore subject because of your first .. uh… relationship, but it’s got to be a huge ego trip for Ned.  Just think of inspiring that kind of admiration in women.”

 Brenda giggled.  “You mean you don’t have all the women on the board of General Motors throwing lingerie and room keys at you?”  At his pained expression, she couldn’t resist the barb.  “Ahhh, poor baby.  Poor neglected Jax.  Is he feeling un-wanted?”

 As he slowly smiled his most devilish grin at Brenda, she caught his drift.  She had worn a red midriff top to the concert that tied in front, and some very faded jeans that fit her like a second skin.  He started toying with the tied ends of her top, and she coyly batted her eyes at him.  “Are you saying you wouldn’t mind knowing how it feels to have a woman pursue you – your very own personal groupie?

 “I think it might be enlightening,” he replied softly.

 “Then you should remember, Mr. Jacks,” she said, pulling him to a sitting position, that you don’t know me, and I have to be the one to get you interested.”  She batted his hands away from her top.  “Not the other way around.”

 “Yes, ma’am,” he replied seriously.  “I’ll be glad to put myself in your capable hands …. So to speak.”

 “Well,” Brenda began as she leaned in very close to him, “we need to establish that I threw myself at you after the concert.  Like, maybe by giving you my room key, like this.”  She reached inside his front jeans pocket, placing her barrette there in place of a room key.

 Jax’s blue/green eyes sparkled.  “I’m intrigued, Ms. Barrett.  What else do you have that might interest me?”

 {Playing the hard-to-get-game again, huh, buster?}  “Well,” she drawled slowly as she got up off the bed, “you must realize that this is the music business, so we are never without musical inspiration.”  She reached over the turned on her radio, tuning it until she found a station playing sultry music with a hard, driving beat.

 She stood before him, shaking her hair loose so that it lay in a riot on her shoulders.  Backing up from the bed a few steps, she began to move to the music, grinding her hips seductively as she untied her top.  She saw him inhale sharply as he sat very straight on the bed.

 Still moving in time to the music, she slid the top slowly off her arms, and slid the zipper of her jeans down.  She moved towards him, but he was playing this game to the hilt and remained motionless, watching her with burning blue eyes.  Her hands went to his zipper, and she unzipped it slowly, almost tooth by tooth.  The sound echoed like a cannon shot in the room.

 She stepped back again, and slowly stepped out of her jeans, till she only had on her red lace bra and matching bikini panties.  She undid the front hook of the bra, trailing her fingers along her chest and abs where she knew he loved to touch her.  She was beginning to see beads of perspiration break out on Jax’s forehead.

 Still moving in time to the music, she dropped her bra, and moved closer to him.  She took one finger, and slid it inside and around the elastic waistband of her panties, never pulling them down a centimeter.

 She now could see the effect her routine was having on Jax.  His hands were clutching the bedspread, aching to touch her, and his arm muscles were tight with the effort.  His breathing was becoming harsh, and she didn’t know how much longer she could keep up this torture since seeing his desire was almost driving her over the edge herself.

 The song drew to a close, and she closed the small gap between them.  His arms suddenly snaked out, and he pulled her to him.  When he finally looked up at her, the intense passion his eyes caused her to take a sharp breath.  “Woman, where did you ever learn to do that?” he growled.

 After standing quickly to shed his jeans (and cursing his slowness in doing so), he joined her on the bed, and they quickly reached heaven in each other’s arms.

 After their heartbeats had slowed to a normal pace again and they were in each other’s arms, snuggled under the sheets, Jax traced a finger down her arm.

 “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

 “No,” Brenda sighed contentedly.

 “Because I was in kind of a hurry…”

 She smiled up at him.  “It’s OK.  So was I.”

 He chuckled at her.  “Brenda, you really know how to do it to me.  You wring me out like some old dishrag.”

 She held him in her arms.  Boston would never be the same for her in the future.
 
 

 Life settled back into its normal routine once Brenda and Jax returned from Boston.  Brenda had had numerous meetings with Jane about the Jacks Charity Carnival, and it was only about a day away.  Brenda had been able to secure many corporate sponsors, and it was shaping up to be a fun day of games of skill for old and young alike.  With a little prodding from Lois, Eddie Maine and the Idle Rich had agreed to play that night under the stars, and Josie had suggested installing a portable dance floor for those agile enough to get out and “boogie down,” as she put it.

 Brenda was lost in thought about the Carnival when she almost bowled somebody over on the sidewalk walking back from a shopping trip to Windom’s.

 “Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized.  “Please forgive me.  I was thinking about something else and I didn’t….”  She stopped cold when she saw that the woman she had almost knocked down was none other than Ashley Brent.

 Ashley brushed off her designer skirt.  “Well, I guess you were lost somewhere, thinking about Jax.  Seems that you and he are the latest talk of the town.”

 “Ashley,” Brenda began cautiously, but Ashley interrupted.

 “Don’t bother to explain, Brenda,” she said acidly.  “I guess since your sister didn’t snag Jax, you felt it was your obligation to go after him, no matter who he belonged to.”

 Brenda bristled.  “He didn’t BELONG to you, Ashley.  He’s not a piece of property.  Anyway, he said he didn’t have any kind of exclusive relationship with you to begin with.”

 “He doesn’t have any kind of exclusive relationship with any woman, Brenda.  He bounces from relationship to relationship, never finding anything with any one woman worth sticking around for.  You’ll find that out soon enough for yourself, I imagine.”

 “What do you mean?”

 “It means,” Ashley snarled, “that what goes around, comes around.  He’ll soon get bored with you when he finds someone curvier, someone fresher, a bigger challenge than you were.  Poor Brenda, she doesn’t realize that Jax is only dating her because she resembles her sister, his true love, Julia!”

 Brenda’s temper flared.  “Listen to me, Ashley.  I did NOT set out to steal Jax from you, although he was never yours to begin with.  I left the Nurses’ Ball with him because my escort turned out to be an inebriated slob and he offered to take me home.  The rest that happened, just happened.  I certainly don’t feel that I owe you an apology!”

 Ashley’s eyes filled with tears and she leaned in close to Brenda.  “I don’t want your apology.  I just want you to be as miserable as I am!”

 With that, Ashley pushed past Brenda and walked towards Windom’s.  Brenda watched her for a minute, and then made her way back to the office.  As she went, she felt pity for Ashley and some anger at her heated words, but if she was being truthful with herself, Brenda also had to admit she felt a little bit of fear.  Would Jax really drop her, too, if he found a new challenge to peak his interest?
 

 Meanwhile, Jax and Jerry were at the formal wear salon, being fitted for tuxes for Jerry’s wedding.  They were standing side by side in front of full-length mirrors, wearing dove-grey morning coats with tails.

 Jax adjusted his lapels.  “Well, brother dear, it must be love for you to agree to get decked out like this in a monkey suit!”

 Jerry shifted uncomfortably.  He ran a finger under his starched collar.  “I know, it’s not the way I would do it, if this whole wedding shindig were up to me.  But, if it makes Bobbie happy, I’ll put up with it.  Even Mum and Dad seem pleased that their oldest is going to become such a family man.”

 They stood there in silence for a few moments while the tailors took the final measurements.  Jerry hesitated, then took the plunge.  “So, I hear you and Brenda have become quite an item.”

 Jax looked nonplussed.  “We’ve been dating some, and I took her to the Malibu house when I straightened out that mess in LA a while back.”

 “So….” Jerry let it trail.  “Mum looked pleased the other night when Brenda was at the house for supper.  Are you serious about her?”

 Jax took off the morning coat and handed it to the tailor.  “What do you mean by serious?  We have fun together, we even discuss business together.”  Jax leaned in confidentially.  “And the sex is like nothing I’ve ever experienced with any other woman.  I want her more every day.”

 Jerry took off his coat, too, and they headed back to the front of the salon, the fitting being over.  “But do you love her?” he asked cautiously.

 Jax burst out in a huge grin.  “What is this, the new Jerry Jacks talk show?  How can I tell when I’m in love?”

 They walked out into the Port Charles sunshine and got into Jerry’s Range Rover so he could drop Jax back at the office.  “Don’t get all bent out of shape, bro.  I’m just worried, that’s all.”

 “Worried?  About me?”

 “About you, yes,” Jerry replied slowly.  “But more so about Brenda.”

 “Why would you be worried about Brenda?  I don’t think I’m treating her badly.  I would never do anything to hurt her.  We enjoy each other’s company, we don’t fight, I haven’t even been tempted in the least bit to touch another woman since I’ve been with her … so where’s all of this going?”

 Jerry gave a big sigh.  “Then I’ll ask you again.  Do you love Brenda?”

 Jax got a confused look in his eyes.  “You know the answer to that, Jer.  I’ll always love Julia.”

 “How can you still love her after all these years?  For God’s sake, you haven’t seen the woman in ages!”

 “She’s just a part of me, Jerry.  I don’t see her face in my dreams anymore.  But I just can’t let her go.”

 “So…you’re using Brenda as a substitute for Julia?”

 “I swear, Jerry, if you weren’t my brother, I’d haul off and deck you for that!  Of course I’m not using Brenda as a substitute!  For one thing, the two are as different as night and day.  Julia is cool, sophisticated, urbane.  Brenda is warm, soft, spontaneous, and funny.”

 “So if Brenda is so warm and soft, don’t you think she hurts when she sees that you don’t love her back?”

 Jax jumped on the comment.  “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, Jerry.  Brenda doesn’t love me.  She just wants someone to share her interests, take her places, stimulate her libido.  That’s what we have, Jer.”

 They had stopped at a traffic signal.  Jerry looked point blank at Jax.  “No, Jax, that’s what YOU have.  Brenda has a one-sided love affair.”

 “You’re crazy!”

 “No,” Jerry said calmly.  “You’re the one who’s not thinking clearly.  Open your eyes, man.  You can see it in Brenda’s face every time she looks at you.  It was obvious the other night at the house.  Brenda may have gone into this trying to keep it light, but I think she’s fallen for you.”

 “So what are you telling me to do, Jerry?  Break it off?  Now that would really be treating her well, wouldn’t it?” he said sarcastically.

 “Better than getting her hopes up of something that you say will never exist.  Think of it this way, Jax.  Let’s say Julia came to you one day and said she was willing to have a relationship with you.  So you and she get involved, but you know that down deep she still loves Bill.  She says she doesn’t, but one day, he crooks his little finger at her and she drops you flat, running back to him.  She was willing to give you her body but you could never have her heart.  How would you feel?”

 Jax sat there stunned, thinking of the time Julia had come to him before she married Bill.  He had realized then that having her body meant nothing if he didn’t have her heart.  Had he been treating Brenda that callously?

 Jerry pulled up to the office building to let Jax out.  “Maybe you should think about letting Brenda go, Jax,” he said gently.  “Ask Bobbie, or Mum.  Either one of them can tell you she’s in love with you, and they’re on the outside looking in.  Maybe if you let her go, she would find somebody who could love her the way she deserves to be loved.”

 Suddenly, Jax exploded in anger.  “But what about me, Jerry?  Don’t I deserve some happiness, too?  I want her!”

 Jerry took it in stride.  “Jax, I’m your brother.  It would please me immensely if you could find the happiness you’ve always wanted with Brenda.  I would love to see you two agree to love each other and live happily after.  But can you just go after your own happiness and sacrifice hers?”

 Jax looked long and hard at Jerry.  “You’re wrong, Jerry.  Brenda isn’t sacrificing anything.  She doesn’t love me.”  But as he walked in the building and rode up in the elevator, he suddenly remembered admitting how wrong he had been about Brenda before.