A new story: Heaven's Tears(JB) Chapter One to Five

by LaQuana Nicole Davis on April 07, 19100 at 20:29:14:

Authors Note: Special thanks to Victoria L, Sue, Marti and Janis. Hi, Angels. This is my first fanfic, so please take that into consideration, lol. Anyway this is a J&B fanfic; about Jax finding his way on his own with a little help from a young African-American woman who is somehow connected to Brenda. As he becomes closer to her he realizes that certain things keep happening to him that reminds him of Brenda. Could she be alive? Maybe? lol Oh, Yeah it may look like Jax is falling in love with this African-American woman, but they are really close cause of Brenda. I often wondered what it would be like if Jax was in an interracial relationship because i am in a relationship with a white man, anyway enough with my chatting. Here's chapter one! Enjoy.... Feedback is appreciated both negative, or positive!!!

Jax decide to leave portcharles after Chloe had her accident; he broke her heart, but he rather break her heart than to have her dead and gone like Brenda. After all this time he still missed her and loved her. Even if things had worked out with Chloe he would have wondered what should have been, or could have been with Brenda. It pained him to know that he will never find love because everytime he did God punished him by having some dreadful act come upon the women he loved; starting grom Miranda down to Chloe. But now that wasn't going to happen because he moved to NewYork City where J&J Jacks Headquarters were located. He decided to occupy himself in business and then retire in a old log cabin and die an old man.....

Jax-"No Addie i'm going to take the subway home."
Addie-"Mr. Jacks i don't think thats a good idea.
Jax-"Well, i'm not waiting for the limo. Yesterday it was three hours late!" Jax walked to the elevator and pushed the down button when the doors open a young woman bumbed into him with alot of files. The papers went everywhere and the young woman landed in Jax arms. "I'm sorry, said the young woman. Its been a long day, I just wish I knew the boss of this building I would tell him that he needs more black women in their twenties on the 9th floor." "Well you are looking at him right now," Jax said with a grin. Jax held out his hand.

Jax-Jasper Jacks. The young woman nevously shook his hand and stared at the ground and said, "My name is Nicole."
Jax-" Nice to meet you, and that problem on the 9th floor will be taken care of." Jax winked at her and went in the elevator.
Nicole-"Great!! My first day on the job and i run into my boss, and tell him he should fix the problem about race relations in his company!!

Two hours later....... Jax was walking around in Harlem. He could'nt believe he got off at the wrong stop, but once he saw the Apollo Theater he knew he was in Harlem. "Just my luck," he thought. He decided to take a taxi. Little did he know that the driver had no clue to where he was going. Jax got angry and told him to let him off right here. Jax looked around and saw a dark neighborhood filled with grabage, poor houses and buildings; as he was walking around the corner he bumbed into a young woman.

Jax-Nicole.
Nicole- Mr. Jacks, what are you doing in this neighborhood?
Jax-I could ask you the same question.
Nicole-Well, i live here.
Jax-Well, i got lost and i'm trying to get back to Manhattan.
Nicole-You are out of luck cause you are on the westside of Harlem; all transportation stops because there are drive bys here. You won't be able to get anywhere until 7:00 AM.
Jax- Oh, this is just great, what the hell i'm i supposed to do now?
Nicole looked at him and felt kind of responsible for him, besides he was her boss.
Nicole-You can spend the night over my place. Jax turned around suddenly taken off guard by her statement.
Jax-What did you say?
Nicole-I said spend the night over my place, you can't stay out here you would never survive, and transportation doesn't come until the morning.
JaxYou are right.OK, where to?
Nicole-My apartment is right across the street in that complex.

They walked over in silence. Jax couldn't help but notice how beutiful she was, even though she was black her complexion was lightskinned, her eyes brown and her body was great. Her breasts were shapely and her butt, well just say her butt was nice and firm, she looked great in jeans. Her hair was in long thin Braids that fit her face............

Nicole- We're here!! Nicole couldn't get over on how he looked so fine. His eyes, you could get lost in them. His chest with all those muscles in them. Oh, god lets not forget his butt. Boy, would she like to ride him up and down. Nicole cleared her throat and inserted the key and opened the door. Jax looked around, what he saw he didn't expect to see at all. There was a leather sofa with a big screen TV with a DVD player and in the bedroom there was a water bed, a gateway2000 computer on her desk. He didn't expect a nice apartment like this especially in such a crumy complex!!

Nicole-I assure you everything is insured, just in case anything gets stolen.
Jax-Well, thats good.
Nicole-Well, um, there's plenty of food in the frig, and there are some men's pajamas inthe linen closet. Just help yourself. I'll be in the shower. She turned to leave.
Jax-Thank you very much; remind me to give you a raise, he said with a grin.
Nicole-That really isn't necessary; i mean you probably would have done the same for me. Jax nodded yes. Nicole smiled and left the room.

Jax quickly changed into a navyblue pajama bottom, he left the top unbottoned. He went over to the frig and got some milk and made a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich. After he finished he cleaned up and sat on the couch and just started to look around at the walls; thats when he saw a magazine photo of Brenda on her wall; the question was why did she have a photo of her, and did she know Brenda??

chp2

Authors Note: Oh, my god i can't believe how many e-mails i got just from posting one chapter!!! I love all you guys so much!!!! you had me in tears; and my boyfriend thought i was going crazy. I told him that he wouldn't understand cause its a Angel thing!! lol Well special greetings go to Janice, Aleli, Cheri, Kristi, Rachel, and KathyW. Thanks for the feedback guys!! Oh, yeah just wanted you guys to know that chapter 3 is a great chapter because a certain someone shows up!!!!

Recap: Jax found a photo of Brenda in Nicole's apartment.

Jax couldn't believe his eyes, he hadn't seen a photo of Brenda ever since he packed every picture and thing that reminded him of her away. But, why would Nicole have a photo of Brenda? He decided that he was going to find out. He got up from the couch and looked in her bedroom for other photos; he still heard the showerrunning so he knew this was his chance to snoop around.. He crossed over to her desk and opened the drawer. What he saw shocked him. There were magazine clippings and photos of Brenda dating back to when she modeled for Deception, and Jacks Cosmetics Campaign. Then he saw newspaper clippings of when Brenda went over the cliff. All the memories rushed back to his head of that fateful day; the day when his life changed forever!! His daydreaming was interupted when Nicole came out the bathroom, and stood dripping wet with a terry cloth robe on.
Nicole-Just what the hell do you think you're doing by going through my personal belongings?
She looked at Jax with shock and anger. "How dare he go through my things; boss or no boss he was gonna get his @$$ kicked and then thrown out of her apartment.
Nicole-I asked you a question.
Jax looked at her with sadness and also anger in his eyes, and he then perceeded to walk towards her closing the distance between them.
Jax- I could ask the same of you, he said with a hint of sarcasism in his voice.
Nicole-Excuse me, what are you talking about.
Jax-You know damn well what i'm talking about, don't play the fool. Why do you have photos of my deceased fiance Brenda Barrett?
Should she tell him the truth? He had the right to know that she was alive; but she gave her word that she wouldn't reveal this, not until the time was right. Nicole couldn't bare not telling some of the truth so.....
Nicole- Well, for your information, i'm a model, i only work for your company on fridays and mondays. When I went to Modeling school they told us to pick a model that you admired so i picked Brenda Barrett. Alot of people chose Cidy Crawford, but I liked Brenda cause she was humble and down to earth. The reason why you saw newspaper clippings of her death is because once I heard the news I brought every magazine, paper, and article on what happened. I was crushed and in shock when it happened. When she died it was like she took a part of me too. Nicole turned away from Jax as the tearscame down. Jax put his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him and wiped the tears from her face.
Jax- Look i'm sorry if i jumped to conclusions. Its just...um um... I don't know.(He couldn't find the right words.) I'll leave if you want me to.
Nicole-No don't(she took his hand and they both felt a shock>) I know how you feel; Besides i couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. She smiled at him. They stood there in silence for a moment, until she sneezed breaking the mood.
Jax- You better get dressed before you catch a cold! He smiled and headed for the door. He turned around at the sound of his name.
Nicole-Jax,
Jax-Yeah
Nicole-You look so fine with those pajamas on!! They both laughed.
Jax- Thanks, he said as he shut the door behind him. He stood by the door. On the otherside Nicole stood also. Jax thought that God was cruel because after all this time God reminded him that Brenda was the love of his life, and still is. But he felt somehow he was connected to Nicole in this short time of knowing her.

chp 3

Author's Note: Hello Angels, Thanks again for the wonderful feedback. I'm really sorry that cahpter two was short but you know how you write 10 pages worth of fanfic and when you type it out it looks totally different. Well thats what happened to me! lol. Anyway hugs to Victoria L and Janis and the other Angels!!! Continue with feedback. Enjoy!!! Oh, I have an audition this Wednesday so wish me luck!!

Recap-Jax knows that him and Nicole are somehow connected because of Brenda.

On the other side of the door Nicole stood thinking."I want to tell him the truth about those photos, but the time isn't right. She backed away from the door and started to get dress.She then got a scarf out of her dresser drawer and tied it on her head and then she slipped under the covers. Be fore her head it the pillow she heard people arguing outside and then she screamed as bullets broke through her window.........

Jax came running through the door when he heard Nicole's screams; he jumped on the bed and covered his body over hers while bullets flew over them. It was ten mintues later when the bullets stopped; it seemed like an eternity. Jax slowly rolled off Nicole, and looked into her eyes. They had tears in them, but thats not what he noticed about them. It was their deep lingering sadness; it took him back when he saw Brenda's sadness outside of Kelly's in the rain; Jax continued to stare into her eyes caught in the memory of Brenda, until Nicole shook him gently.
Nicole-Jax...
Jax shook his head and looked down at her.
Jax- Are you ok?
Nicole-Yeah, this happens all the time, she said it so nonchalantly.
Jax-What do you mean all the time.(looking bewildered)
Nicole-Well, i'm not use to the bullets going through my window, but hearing the violence outside its nothing new. I've been meaning to get Bullet proof windows, but its all about time which i never seem to have.
She laughed despite the current situation. Jax looked at her with shock and irritation. He did not find it funny at all.
Jax-I'm glad you find this amusing, because i sure don't find any humor in this. You... we could have been killed. Over what... drugs, territory!!
Nicole got up from the bed and turned on the light, when she noticed that Jax's arm was bleeding because of the broken glass.
Nicole-Jax.
Jax-What!! He yelled
Nicole-Your arm its bleeding, she said quietly. He looked at his arm.
Jax-Oh, do you have.......
Nicole-Yes, i'll get a first aid kit.
While she went to go get it Jax couldn't help but think how Brenda use to put herself in danger because of Sonny. It wasn't no different with Nicole, why did she stay in this neighborhood?
Jax's thoughts were interrupted when Nicole came back with the first aid kit. She handed it to him, and started to pick up the glass off the floor.
Jax-Nicole, I think...
Nicole-Look, Jax, i'm not leaving; i grew up here. She looked at him without backing down.
Jax-Fine, but promise me one thing.
Nicole-What.
Jax-That you will stay with me until the window gets fixed. He looked at her with pleading eyes; how could she say no.
Nicole-Alright, but after that i'm coming back home.
Jax-ok, now lets get some sleep, are you gonna de alright in here by yourself?
Nicole-Yeah, i'll be fine.
Jax turned around and gave her a hug, noticing that her head fit perfectly under his chin(like Brenda's did) He then left the room with tears in his eyes. Nicole locked the door behind him and said, "God i hope you know what you're doing!" She the returned to her bed.

It was 3:00 AM, when the transformation happened, Nicole got out of the bed as the light from God shone on her body and the being came out of her as an angel. All the emotions of her and this being came out and it was then that she fainted on the floor....

The brunette angel came over and touched her face, "Nicole please wake up.
Nicole-"Brenda."

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it ok, there's always one reason to feel not good enough and its hard at the end of the day, i need some distraction, oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins, let me be empty and weightless, and maybe i'll find some peace tonight, in the arms of an angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear, you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there..........
Song Credit: Sarah McLanchlan- "Angel"

Brenda- Please wake up.
Nicole stirred in her arms.
Nicole-Brenda i'm so glad that you are here, now you can reveal yourself to Jax; let him know that you are alive!!
Brenda-No. The time isn't right yet.
Nicole-What do you mean it isn't right, God has given you a second chance, now use it damn it. Nicole couldn't believe what she was hearing.
Brenda-Its not that simple.
Nicole-Look, when you use or enter my body i feel your pain, passion, love, and longing for him. I feel every emotion, i even feel his. When he looks at me i can tell he feels like he is looking at you. Instead of using my body, why don't you materialize into your own human form, so he can see you?

Brenda looked at her with sadness in her eyes. brenda had to tell her the truth even though she knew it would hurt her. Why did God have to make life so complicated for good people? What about the bad people?
Brenda- In order for me to take my human form, you must die. There was silence for a long time between them.
Nicole-And who decided this? Her voice was cracking.
Brenda-God.
Nicole-Why? I mean I haven't done anything wrong. Why? The fact that i'm helping you proves that i'm a good person. Nicole was crying openly. Brenda put her arms around her.
Brenda-God said that he had plans for you up in heaven; in order to go there you must die.
Nicole- What if i want to stay on earth?
Brenda- I'm afraid that you have no choice in the matter.
Nicole-How do you feel about this?
Brenda-I'm upset but i can't go against God. He said that Jax and I were meant to be together; it was wrriten in the stars. We possess a love that few have shared or even known. I can tell Jax loves you already because of me. god decided that Jax must loose another loved one in order to gain me, the love of his life.

Nicole looked at her with sadness, but also understanding. With that she started to realize what she had to do; that God was calling her to him and if she had to sacrifice herself for Jax and Brenda's love then so be it!!!!
Nicole-How much time do i have left?
Brenda-Three days. With that said Brenda returned to Nicole's body.
Nicole- Gee, God you don't waste anytime do you, she smiled. God, I promise i will sacrifice myself for the love of Jax and Brenda. I'm just really scared. Those were her last words before she went to sleep.

chp 4

Author's Note: Ok, here's chapter four!! Special Thank yous to Victoria L, Rachel, Cheri, Kathy W, and all the angels whose name i forgot. Thanks for your support for my audition. This chapter maybe short but its highly important. Oh, yeah the character Nicole will be killed off soon; so i can concentrate on J&B. I was really tempted to make Jax fall in love with Nicole and see where this interracial relationship would take him, but i'm a J&B fan and Brenda won because her and Jax belong together. I know alot of you like Nicole but all i can say is sorry. She will still play a major role in their lives. Ok, on with the story!!!!

Jax woke up to the sound of pots and pans banging together, and the smell of something burning. He got up and went into the kitchen, what he saw was so hilarious... Nicole was on the floor with egg shells in her hair, the frig wide open, and pancakes burning on the stove. Jax doubled over in laughter and went over to help Nicole off the floor. She laughed too; she held on to Jax's arm because they both lost their footing, and Nicole landed right on Jax's chest. There was silence. Jax looked into her soulful eyes; he was in a dream; those eyes they were familiar to him.......

Jax-"Brenda", was she here in front of him
Nicole saw the confusion in his eyes. "Does he know that Brenda is apart of me?
Nicole-"Jax, please snap out of it." He was lost.
Jax-"I love you Brenda......
Nicole-Jax please stop!! Stop the madness!! She shook him very hard until he came out of it.
Jax- What happened? He looked flustered.
Nicole- Um, um, you just was daydreaming; thats all!!
She wasn't sure what to say; let alone what to do.
Jax- I'm sorry that i blacked out; um.... um.....
Nicole helped him off the floor.
Nicole- It doesn't matter, don't be sorry. Besides i should be sorry cause i can't cook!! She smiled. She then looked in the cabinets for something they could eat. "Yes!" she said.
Jax- What?
Nicole- Smores!!!
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Saturday 11:00 PM

Jax sat in his Beach house in Malibu over looking the water. He was thinking about the conversation he had with Nicole earlier..............

Nicole- Jax i need a favor from you.
Jax- Anything, after all you did give me a place to stay, he smiled.
Nicole- I need to get away.
Jax- Where?
Nicole- (She was very blunt) "Malibu"................

Jax tolded her he would take her only because she said it was important. But he couln't help notice that things he use to share with Brenda were poping up again. Everything was Brenda. The photos, Nicole's eyes, her zest for life, the fact that she fit perfectly under his chin, the smores that they had for breakfast, and she couldn't cook. Now it was Malibu. What was going on!!

While Jax was thinking, Nicole came down stairs. She had a pink nightgown on and her hair was without braids; it was long and brown. Jax turned around from the window.
Jax- What happened to your braids?
Nicole- I took them out; do you approve?
Jax- Yes, you look very attractive. Hell, you don't need braids why do you wear them?
Nicole- I'm lazy; braids are easy to take care of. She smiled weakly. I'm gonna miss you. The time has come for you to know the truth.....
Jax- What? What are you talking about? You're not leaving? All of a sudden he started to become afraid!!
Nicole became deathly pale.
Nicole- I'm dying; the transformation is begining. With this Nicole fainted in Jax's arms while a bright light came in the room and blinded Jax. Once it was gone, he noticed two women on the floor.
Jax- Oh, my God! Brenda...............

His angel was home and in front of him; was this a gift from God??

Chp 5

Author's Note: Oh, my god! I'm totally overwhelmed with how much feedback i'm recieving; keep it coming! This is my first story and i didn't think it was going to work, but it did! I thank each and everyone of you who has supported me and this story. I love you guys very much, and i wish that i could meet you in person to show my greatfulness. Anyway i stayed up late trying to make this chapter perfect; i really should have been learning my lines for the film festival in NewYork..... But i said what the hell, my angels want a story so thats what i'm gonna give them!! LOL. Well, here you go!!! Enjoy. You may need a tissue!!!

Recap: Jax and Nicole are in Malibu so the transformation can begin... and Brenda returns.

Jax couldn't believe his eyes or his heart. Brenda was there in front of him. He was reluctant to go over there and embrace her; thinking it was just a dream or his imagination. Brenda saw his reluctance and crossed over to the otherside of the room in front of him.
Brenda- Don't be afraid Jax; its me. I'm real. She touched his face and took his hand and put it over her heart. Jax felt it beating.
Jax- Its beating; You're alive. Jax dropped to his knees and started to cry; wrapping his arms around her waist. She to was crying; placing her hands in his hair. They both were touching eachother to make sure this was reality, and not just a dream.........

Five hours passed before they let go of eachother. Jax was the first to let go. There were so many questions, hopefully with answers. Brenda knew what he was thinking; they locked eyes and Jax was the first to speak.
Jax- Where were you all this time? Brenda took his hand in hers.
Brenda- Heaven with God. She saw the confusion in his eyes. Let me explain, she said.

The day i went over cliff, i died instantly, and my spirit went up to Heaven and i was right next to God. But God knew that it wasn't time for me to be there. He has been watching us since we were born Jax, and he knew that we would end up together. Our love is dynamic and powerful; everyone knows including God and the Angels that we belong together. So, the next thing i knew was that God was making a way back for me to be with you. I thought it would be simple; i mean all God had to do was just send me back to you. Boy, was i wrong!! God decided that i had to use a person's body that looked like me. But most of all she had to have my qualities, and love in her heart to do this. god picked her and once he did i had to meet her. Little did i know that she was black; it just goes to show you that God is not the person to play favorites; he loves everyone!! He picked the perfect person to help us. (She glanced at Nicole on the floor; Jax nodded, and continued listening.) Anyway i had to get Nicole ready for meeting you. Everything was planned, starting with the photos and her working at J&J Jacks. Brenda started to cry. Jax held her tight.

Jax- Whats the matter? He said it in a hushed voice.
Brenda- Nicole is dying for our love......... I wish there was something we could do, but her place is in heaven with God.
Jax- Does she know?
Brenda- Yeah, she is so brave and filled with love. She looked in to his eyes and said, if i didn't come back to you i would have wanted Nicole to be with you. She would have made you happy.
Jax- I know; i would have stayed with her because she reminds me of you, reguardless of her color.

They locked eyes, and kissed with passion, sadness, but mostly out of love. Their kiss was broken by a moan from Nicole. Jax and Brenda jumped up to be by her side. She was so pale. She looked up at them and said.....
Nicole- It is time for me to say goodbye. Please take me outside on the beach so i can be with my maker. She said it so quietly.
****************************************************************************************************************************

Jax and Brenda nodded. He picked her up and carried her until they reached the water, Brenda followed. Jax placed Nicole on the sand; he and Brenda were at her side each holding her hand.
Nicole- I'm so scared, but happy that you two are reunited.
Brenda- I know. The tears were falling down.
Nicole- God has given you a second chance, please be wise.
Jax- We know, he said it in a horse voice.
Nicole- There is one last request i ask of you....
Jax- Anything, you name it!! He smiled.
Nicole- Don't let Brenda cook!!! They laughed. No seriously i just want you to remember me.
Brenda- You got it!!
Nicole- I love you both; those were her last words as her eyes closed for the final time. Jax held Brenda close.
Brenda- No! Please don't die!!

Nicole's spirit rose to heaven, while Jax and Brenda were crying. The clouds overtook the blue sky and it started raining.
Brenda- Why is it raining?
Jax- Its not raining, those are Heaven's tears. When Jax said those words the rain stopped and God's voice echoed in the sky with sunshine.

God- " Your love will be your strength, and remember I am with you to the end of time."

I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories, remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad. how clearly i first saw you smilin in the sun, wanna feel your warmth upon me, i wanna be the one, i will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories, I'm so tired but i can't sleep, standin on the edge of something much too deep, its funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word, we are screaming inside, we can't be heard. But i will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories, i'm so afraid to love, but more afraid to loose, clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose, once there was darkness, deep, and endless night, you gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me light. And i will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by; weep not for the memories, weep not for the memories.

Song Credit: Sarah McLachlan, "I will Remember You."