Here's another chapter, let me know what you guys think!
Victoria L.

Chapter 12

Jax paced back and forth in his penthouse. It had been three days since
he�d seen Alexis, but he had seen Ned everyday. Not that he minded. Along
with Ned came dozens of memories of Brenda that Jax hadn�t forgotten, but
his mind had closed him off to. Ned was a safe place when it came to
thinking of Brenda, and Jax enjoyed spending quality time with his friend.
But he couldn�t get Alexis out of his mind. Her lips had tasted so sweet and
tender, she had nearly driven him out of his mind in the few short moments
she was in his arms. But what was he doing? Ned was his closest friend, his
closest attachment to Brenda, and he was deliberately hurting his friend.
There was no excuse for that, and no matter what his feelings for Alexis, she
may be attracted to him, but it was Ned that she loved, and Jax knew all too
well what it was like to break up because of an interloper, and he would not
cause that kind of pain for Ned and Alexis.
He was waiting for Ned to join him for breakfast when he heard the
prompt knock that could only be signaling Mr. Ashton.
�Ned! Come in, how are you?�
�Well,� Ned said, sighing, �I�m not so good.� Uh-oh. Jax�s heart lurched
at the words. He had known that Alexis wasn�t good at keeping things from
Ned when it came to matters of the heart. He had feared that she would tell
him the truth, it had only been a matter of time. Jax opened his mouth to
explain, but Ned put a hand on his shoulder and said, �I�m glad you�re here.
You�re the only one I can talk to about this.� Jax raised an eyebrow.
�Ned, I think I know what you�re going to say--�
�You were the only man who ever understood Lois half as well as I did,
and you�ve kept so close to her lately, I had no one else to talk to about this
than you. Do you have some time? I mean, I�m not interrupting any meetings
or anything, am I?�
�No,� Jax said, �Come on in, I have some time.�
�Good,� Ned said, sitting down, and burying his head in his hands. �Jax,
I have something to tell you, and I know that since you and Alexis are such
good friends, this may be putting you in an awkward position, and if you tell
me to take my problems elsewhere, I�ll understand.�
�Hey, I think you know that I would never do that,� Jax said. �Not after
all we�ve been through. Come on, mate, spill it, whatever it is.�
�All right,� Ned said. �I love Alexis, you know that, she knows that. She
has never doubted my love for her,�
�Do I hear a �but� coming on?�
�But,� Ned emphasized, �Lois is the mother of my child. And I�ve been
spending a lot of time with Brooke-Lynn lately, and Lois and I, well things
were starting to feel like we were a real family again--�
�Ned, I hope you�re not saying what I think you�re saying--�
�I did NOT cheat on Alexis,� Ned said, holding up a hand. Jax sighed
with relief, though he wasn�t sure why he was happy to hear this. �But that
doesn�t mean it didn�t cross my mind, and if that�s not bad enough, what�s
more, Lois and I have even discussed getting back together.�
�But you haven�t acted on anything yet?� Jax asked.
�No, we haven�t, and I have no intention of doing that. Jax, Alexis
means the world to me. The last thing I�d ever want to do is hurt her.�
�She knows that, and so do I. Ned, what you have to ask yourself is do
you want Lois back?�
�The truth?� Ned asked. Jax nodded. �The truth is, I always felt things
were unfinished between Lois and myself. She was the love of my life, the
mother of my child. My entire identity was wrapped up in her, and I didn�t
mind that. When she left, I felt as though it were without a fight.�
�You did just let her go,� Jax said. �You didn�t put up the fight I thought
you would have.�
�Well, she was pregnant with Brooke, I didn�t want to upset her, and I
thought if I did things the way that she asked me to at first, then later I could
convince her to come back. But that just never happened.�
�Until now,� Jax stated. �Well, I know all too well that you can�t make
other people feel or do certain things. Letting go of Lois when you did is
probably the only reason she�s still in your life right now. You could have lost
her forever, friend or otherwise.� Ned looked at Jax.
�You don�t seem surprised by any of this,� he said.
�Well that�s because I�m not,� Jax replied. �Look, Ned you were with
me all through my relationship with Brenda, and I was here for most of you
and Lois, and you know as well as I do, those two ladies--�
�They were it for us,� Ned finished.
�That�s right. You know I never could really wrap my mind around you
with anyone but Lois. When she first told me that you were seeing someone
else, I thought, �Ned? No way. He�ll love you forever�.�
�Did you tell her that?� Ned asked.
�No, no, I would never do that, but I have a feeling my suspicions were
correct. Are you still in love with Lois, Ned?�
�If you had asked me that a month ago, I�d have denied it, but the old
feelings are there, Jax. They�re coming back for me, and I don�t know if that
is because of all the time we�ve been spending together, and I�m just getting
nostalgic, or if there is really something to all of this.�
�You certainly don�t want to hurt Alexis for no reason, especially if
there�s no chance with Lois.�
�Chance or no chance,� Ned said, �I don�t want to hurt Alexis. I�ve
never been torn like this, Jax. I don�t know what to do.�
�Well I don�t know what to tell you, my friend. Only you know in your
heart how you feel. If you weren�t with Alexis at all, would we even be
having this conversation?�
�No,� Ned stated plainly. �If there wasn�t Alexis to consider, I�d be back
with my wife and daughter.�
�And if this were any other woman besides Alexis?� Jax asked.
�Then there would be no question in my mind, I�d go back to Lois.� Jax
just looked at Ned, and Ned realized then, he was answering his own
questions.
�Look,� Jax said, when Ned got up in frustration and poured himself a
drink, �I can�t pretend to understand what you�re going through, but I know
what it�s like to be on the verge of feelings that are confusing, and you want
to do something about them, but you don�t want to hurt the people around
you, and what�s more, you�re not even sure if these feelings are worth
pursuing. I mean, you know your relationship with Lois better than anyone,
this may just be a good time right now, but you could very well fall into that
same Lois and Ned pattern, and if you were to split up again--�
�It�s not like Alexis would be here waiting for me.� Ned paused. �I
think I know what I have to do now, Jax, thank you.�
�Well what have you decided?� Jax asked, displaying a bit too much
interest. Ned didn�t notice though, and if he did, he didn�t say anything.
�I don�t want to go into it right now, I have to act on this, before it�s too
late. I�m going to call Lois, and then I�ll call you sometime this week, tell you
where things stand.� Ned got his coat and headed for the door.
�Ned,� Jax called after him, �look, whatever you do, man, just don�t hurt
Alexis.�
�I won�t,� Ned said, �and thank you for your help, Jax. Honestly.� As
Ned left, Jax sat back down on the couch and sighed.
�I don�t know how much help I�ve been, my friend,� Jax said to the
closed door, �I may have just encouraged my best friend to leave the woman
he loves.�

Later in that week, Alexis hurried home from the office. She was
anxious to see Ned, and for some reason, she could feel that he was
distancing himself from her. She had no idea why, but maybe if she opened
herself up more, she had been working so hard lately, then maybe he�d take
the time to discuss their relationship with her. She certainly hoped so. As
she waited at a red light, Alexis looked at her open date book on the seat next
to her. She had penciled in a meeting with Jax for tomorrow, and all day
long, she had been trying to think of ways to get out of the meeting. It wasn�t
that she didn�t want to see him, it was that she felt she was TOO anxious to
see him. She longed to see him smile at her again and feel his arms around
her, but it wasn�t as though she was actually entertaining a relationship with
him. That was so far fetched, the idea actually amused her.
She made it to the gate house in record time. She hurried inside and
called out to Ned, thinking that he may be gone, but he had told her this
morning that he�d be working from home all day.
�Ned?� she called from the bottom of the stairs. He appeared just then
at the top of the stairs. He came down, and pulled her into an embrace.
When she tried to kiss him back, though, he pulled away from her. �What�s
the matter?� she asked, as he silently took her hand and led her to the couch
and sat down beside her. His eyes were a little red, she noticed, but she
didn�t know why. Before he could say anything, her heart came up in her
throat. Had Jax actually confessed to Ned? After all, they were best friends,
maybe Jax had trouble keeping things from Ned after all. Alexis took a deep
breath, ready to explain, but Ned cut her off.
�This is going to be hard for me to say,� he began, �but I want you to
know that none of this is your fault.�
�Okay,� Alexis said, uncertain of where the conversation was going.
�I talked to Jax, and he helped me to see a few things that I didn�t
necessarily want to see. Well, perhaps things that I just needed someone else
to point out to me.�
�What is this about, exactly?� Alexis asked, not wanting to bring up her
kisses with Jax if that wasn�t where Ned was going with this.
�This is about you, and me, and Lois.�
�Lois?� Alexis asked, raising her eyebrows. �What does she have to do
with anything?�
�You know that I love you,� Ned began.
�Oh my God,� Alexis said, getting up, the tears rushing to her eyes.
�Please tell me that you�re not going to do what I think you�re about to do.�
�Just listen to me,� Ned said. �I�ve been spending a lot of time with her
and Brooke-Lynn lately, you know that.�
�Yeah,� Alexis said, her voice quivering.
�Well there�s just no easy way to say this, Alexis. I love you. You know
that. But I think that maybe I need to try again with Lois.� Ned paused,
letting his statement sink in to Alexis.
�You--you want to try again?� Alexis asked. �But why? I thought--I
thought that you loved me.�
�I DO love you, Alexis.�
�Oh, excuse me!� Alexis said, pulling violently from his embrace. �I
meant to say that I thought you were IN love with me.�
�Alexis, please,� Ned said, stepping towards her. �I�m not trying to hurt
you, I just don�t know how to do or say this other than to just say it.�
�Well you�re not doing a very good job, Ned,� Alexis said, turning away
from him. �So that�s just it, huh? I don�t get a say in the end of our
relationship? You�ve just decided, and then that�s it? Good bye Alexis, see you
around, have a nice life?�
�No--�
�Then what?! You�re saying things are over, aren�t you? I know you�re
not asking me to wait for you to figure out where you and Lois stand.�
�No, you know I would never do that.�
�Then correct me if I�m wrong, what you�re saying is, goodbye.�
�I didn�t want it to be this way,� Ned said softly.
�Oh really? And just how did you expect it to be, then? I would waltz
in, and say �Oh, sure, Ned, I understand, no problem, go back to your ex-wife
and child?�
�I didn�t expect you to feel so badly,� Ned said, his voice choking up.
Alexis looked at him as if he had two heads.
�How did you expect me to take this, Ned? Excuse me, but I happen to
LOVE you! You happen to be the man in my life! You were it for me, Ned.
You know that. I mean, I know we had never discussed marriage, but I
always thought that we would--�
�So did I,� Ned said, putting his hands on Alexis� shoulders. She turned
into his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder.
�Well then what changed? I mean, what did I do that was so terrible?
Can I fix it? Just tell me, whatever it is--�
�This has nothing to do with you, Alexis. It�s nothing that you can fix. I
have to see what�s left between Lois and I.�
�Oh, that is such bull,� Alexis said in disgust, pulling away from Ned.
�You�ve been in love with her the entire time, haven�t you?� Alexis accused.
�What are you talking about?� Ned asked.
�Did you ever really love me?� Alexis went on, ignoring Ned. �And
don�t say that you did, because then I�d really know that you were lying to me,
because there is no way that you can be in love with two people at the same
time. I just don�t buy into that. And you wouldn�t be leaving me if you were in
love with me, so I guess I answered my own question, didn�t I?� Alexis
smirked to herself. �I really should have known. I mean, I should have seen
this coming a mile away. When you and Jax were here, with all your pictures,
and your memories of Brenda and Lois, the only women in the world for
you--I should have known that I would never have a place in that world.�
Alexis paused, and then went on, as if she were talking to herself, about
something different entirely. �I�ve never really belonged anywhere before
you, Ned. Never belonged to anyone. Before you, I never wanted to. Oh
well,� Alexis said, sighing. �I guess it�s true what they say about change--it�s the
only thing that stays the same.�
�Look,� Ned said, for lack of anything better to say, �I�ll stay up at the
main house tonight if you want.�
�Oh no!� Alexis said, holding up two hands. �Don�t inconvenience
yourself for me. I don�t think I could stomach staying here anyway. I will stay
at the Port Charles Hotel tonight. Can you do me one favor please? Send my
things there in the morning, I don�t think I can stand to come here again!�
Alexis spat in disgust. And before Ned could answer, she left and slammed the
door behind her.

Jax was on the phone with some anxious executives, and he couldn�t
wait until he closed this latest deal. He was on hold when a furious knocking
was at his door.
�Yeah? I�m sorry, I�ll have to get back to you,� he said into the phone as
he opened the door to a seething Alexis.
�Are you alone?� she asked, coming into the penthouse.
�Yes,� Jax said, closing the door.
�Good,� Alexis said, turning around, and slapping Jax with all the force
she could muster. He actually turned a bit, she hit him so hard. �What the hell
is wrong with you?! And what did you say to Ned?�
�What are you talking about?� Jax asked, anger on his voice, and his
cheek stinging.
�You know exactly what I�m talking about,� Alexis shouted. �Did you
know he was going to do this to me?! Huh? How long have you known that
Ned was going to leave me?!�