Chapter 8

Jax stared at Carly suspiciously, and then spoke.
“What did you say? I’m Paul?”
“Not literally,” Carly said, rolling her eyes, and turning to look at him
instead of her computer.
“Well then what did you mean?” Jax asked.
“I can’t say anything more,” Carly said, “and if you can’t figure it out
from there, then maybe you’re not as smart as they thought you were.”
“What?!” Jax asked, his voice a harsh whisper. Carly turned to face him
again, but when she looked over his shoulder, her face grew pale, and she
once again faced her screen, growing silent. Jax looked over his shoulder to
find Taylor approaching them. She smiled pleasantly at them both.
“Caroline,” she said softly. Carly turned to face her as Taylor handed
her what appeared to be some very small compact discs. “These panels all
lack the new system codes.”
“Really? I’m so sorry, I was sure I had gotten to them all. I’ll upgrade
them right now,” Carly said, taking the discs and sliding in her chair over to a
slightly larger computer to finish her work.
“Perhaps,” Taylor said delicately, “if you paid more attention to your
work instead of socializing, this mistake wouldn’t have happened.”
“You’re right, of course, ma’am.”
“Dozens of lives on the next out-going mission could have been
compromised, Caroline.”
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” Carly said, standing up and handing
Taylor the discs that she had finished upgrading.
“It’d better not happen again. Thank you for doing this so promptly,
Caroline.”
“Of course. I’ll just get back to work now.”
“That’s fine. You’re lucky Davis wasn’t here,” Taylor said, turning to
leave. To this, Carly did not respond. “Jax,” Taylor said, “if you aren’t busy,
would you like to have lunch?” A small snort came from somewhere in
Carly’s vacinity, and both Taylor and Jax chose to ignore it.
“Sure,” Jax said. “Thanks. So, what restaurant are we going to?”
“Restaurant?” Taylor asked, pushing the button on the elevator that
would take them back to her office.
“Well sure, I mean, aren’t we going outside?”
“Outside?” Taylor asked. “Oh, Davis hasn’t taught you as much as I
thought she had. Don’t you know anything about why you’re really here?
Operatives, even those of your status, don’t go out until it’s time for their first
mission, and that won’t even be until you’ve had at least a year’s worth of
training.”
“Wait a moment,” Jax said, blocking her path to the elevator. “You’re
telling me I’m not going to see the light of day for at least a year?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Taylor said, as calmly as if she
were telling him the time of day. “You seem surprised.”
“Well hell yes, I’m surprised. What kind of people are you?”
“WE,” Taylor emphasized, motioning between herself and Jax and
stepping onto the elevator, “are the type of people that give 1,000% and do
what we have to do. We give our all, we make sacrifices.”
“But WHY?” Jax asked.
“A small matter of saving the world.”
“Oh, you are a bunch of the most cryptic people I have ever met. Why
don’t any of you just say what you mean?”
“We overestimated you, I think,” Taylor said, after a brief pause. “Yes, I
really think we did. We assumed you were stronger than you were, but we
can correct our mistakes. I am not sure how much Davis has shared with you,
perhaps she didn’t think you were ready, but now, I see that you are. I think
I’m going to have to have a very serious talk with you, my friend. Someone
needs a lesson in boundaries.”
She and Jax stepped off the elevator, and into her office. She motioned
for him to have a seat behind her desk, and she, as usual, perched herself on
the corner of it, giving him a small smile. She lightly touched her fingers
underneath her desk, just below where Jax’s right hand rested on the desk,
and a small panel shot out from underneath it. It was covered in buttons, but
not a single one of them had any kind of marking or color distinction to tell
what their function was. Taylor hit three keys rather lightly, and very quickly,
and straight across the room from her desk, a film of sorts was projected onto
the screen. It was the Agency, Jax realized. Parts of it he had never seen,
parts of it he had spent several hours in, training, learning. As it went on,
Taylor got up from her desk, and began to walk around the room. “I’m going
to be very frank with you,” she said. “What we do here is not a game. And
though we’ve all been having a little fun with you, you must not
underestimate our importance, or your importance.”
“I take it you’re going to define that for me.”
“Yes, I will. The Agency happens to be the most covert and clandestine
anti-terrorist group on the planet. Our ends are just, but our means can be
and often are, ruthless. We do whatever we have to do to win, and that
means making sacrifices, like not going outside for a year, like making our
friends and family believe we’re dead, and like never seeing them again. I
understand your pain,” Taylor said, when a shot of Brenda in training
exercises came across the screen. “There isn’t a person here who doesn’t.
You do not have an exclusive on pain, or love, Jax. We’ve all felt it, we’ve all
lost it, but once we’ve all been exposed to what it is the Agency does, we see
that we were put here to do a much greater task.”
“Saving the world,” Jax said softly.
“You say it so cavalierly,” Taylor said, coming to stand beside him. “You
have known pain, and poverty, Jax. But you seem to have forgotten what it
was like to be without food and money, blankets at night, under which to
sleep. You have money that you will never begin to spend all of or deplete
for all of your days. But tell me something. Have you ever watched the
person that you love die? Have you ever watched your children grow up in
war torn countries and see your sons fall prey to the hands of harsh dictators
who do nothing but groom them to hate, and then send them off to die? I
don’t think you have.”
“Then you people don’t know me as well as you thought you did,” Jax
said. “Because my heart has known pain you can’t begin to imagine.” Jax
couldn’t help but think of Miranda, the women he knew and loved, not the
vicious viper she had grown into. The young woman whose life was nearly
destroyed in an explosion of his own family’s making.
“Ah yes, that young woman, your first wife, Miranda. We know the
story well. But even though that was devastating for you, have you ever been
to war? Have you ever lived in war? An isolated incident, no matter how
tragic, is nothing compared to living and growing up in the situation, having
no other frame of reference other that devastation, terror and guns. What we
are trying to prevent here is terrorism on a global scale. And we’re very close
to that, Mr. Jacks, we’re very close.”
“And that’s why you need me?” Jax asked. Taylor gave him a small, sexy
smile.
“Oh yes, that’s exactly why we need you. And that’s exactly why you’re
going to help us.”
For another hour, Taylor sat beside Jax and showed him video after
video of war torn countries, young men in the military, learning to shoot,
march and kill. The terror and destruction was nothing Jax could ever have
imagined, and every emotion in him was brought to its maximum. Anger,
hate, fury, and rage, mixed with sorrow and pain. When the video was over,
Taylor turned on the lights and stared at Jax, waiting for his answer.
“I understand now,” he said softly, his voice breaking. “I understand
why you do this, and why you need me, but I will never understand why you
feel the need to keep me away from Brenda.” A flash of pain crossed Taylor’s
face.
“I know a little something about lost loves,” she began.
“Brenda is not lost to me!” Jax said, standing up. “And she never will
be, as long as there’s breath in my body. Now you people have given me
every reason in the world why I should be willing to do what you say, and
you’ve made it quite clear that I don’t have a choice, but you have got to
understand that I’m no good to you without the woman that I love.” Taylor
turned her back to him, trying to drown out the emotions he was bringing up
in her. “I know about Paul,” Jax said, knowing he was taking a risk. He
watched recognition cross Taylor’s face as she turned back around. She
closed her eyes as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. She walked towards
him and took his hands in hers.
“Come with me,” she said softly. He followed her down the hall, they
got on the elevator, and Jax recognized the button she pushed as being the
one Brenda was on.
“What are you doing?” Jax kept asking, but Taylor wouldn’t answer
him. The doors opened, and Jax was shocked to see Brenda in the same room
she had been in before, but it was no longer a hospital room, there were no
doctors around, Brenda was dressed in civilian clothing, seated in a chair,
reading. She looked up as the doors opened, her face going pale. Jax was as
shocked as she was, they both stared at Taylor for an explanation.
“You have fifteen minutes,” Taylor said. “Fifteen minutes that are
yours. I’ll be right outside to make sure no one disturbs you. Say everything
you have to say, because it could very well be the last chance you have to say
it.”
“I don’t understand,” Jax said. “I thought Davis said--”
“D@mn Davis for right now!” Taylor said. “This is what you need, this is
the only way we’ll ever get you both on our side. Be very careful, guard your
hearts, dears. You have no idea how important they are. Fifteen minutes, use
them WISELY.”
“Can I touch her?” Jax asked.
“Yes,” Taylor said, just as the doors closed behind her. “She isn’t sick.”
Jax watched the doors close, and then felt his heart fall so far he wasn’t sure
there was feeling in his body anymore. The sound of her getting up from the
chair caused him to whirl around, just as she propelled her body into his
arms.
“Oh my God!” she screamed, her arms in a death grip around him. She
began to sob uncontrollably as she relished the feel of his arms around her.
He could barely put together a thought in his head as his heart soared, having
her in his arms again, being able to touch her, feel her. She smelled the same,
he realized, turning to kiss her neck. He could smell her shampoo. Her hands
came up to cradle his face, as she stared at him adoringly. “It’s you,” she
whispered softly. “It’s really you, and you’re here.”
“I am here Brenda,” he said, cupping the side of her face in his hands.
She pulled his face down to hers before he could himself. The kiss was
passionate and hungry. She moaned and he opened his mouth to her
immediately. They would waste no time, as they made love right there in the
middle of the room, knowing that it would be the only time they would have
in a long time to be THIS much alone. All the pain and hurt at being apart for
nearly three years was dashed as they were able to drown themselves in one
another.
The moment was over almost as soon as it began. They dressed
quickly, almost never breaking some kind of physical contact. Jax pulled her
over to the chair she had been sitting in and told her, “We have five minutes.”
“Not a second longer,” Brenda said. “Jax, you have no idea--”
“Taylor told me why I was here,” Jax said. “I know now how important
it is to be an operative here in the Agency.”
“What?” Brenda asked, shocked. “She told you everything? It’s
impossible, you can’t know, otherwise--”
“What?” Jax asked.
“You actually want to stay on the inside?”
“H#ll no,” Jax said. Relief flooded Brenda’s face. “But we aren’t getting
out anytime soon, Brenda, and you have to get used to that.”
“Oh, well it’ll probably take a few days to learn the new codes, but--”
“No, Brenda. Not days. We don’t have to be in a rush--we CAN’T be in
one. Brenda, I fully intend to get out of here someday, but it’s going to be
YEARS before either one of us can ever get out of the Agency.”
“But why?” Brenda asked. “People disappear all the time.”
“They’d never let either one of us get away,” Jax said. “Not you and I.”
“But WHY?” Brenda asked. “What’s so special about us? Why can’t we
just run?”
“Because, Brenda, don’t you understand? You and I aren’t just any
operatives. We’re the future of the Agency. They’re grooming us to take
over. You and I, we’re going to run the Agency.”
 

Author’s note: Some dialogue taken from the USA Network Series, La Femme
Nikita.