While Bren & Lois are at the restaurant clearly enjoying them selves; talking
about everything & nothing as they always do, Jerry half lays, half sits on
Jax's couch.

J: "What brings you here?"
Jer: "You"
J:" Me?"
Jer: "You disappeared, that's not your MO, that's mine"
J: "I didn't disappear.  I told the family where I would be"
Jer: "Yes, in Port Charles, with"

Jerry roles his eyes, gets an agitated tone in his voice, & sounds as if he's
in physical pain just saying the next word.

J: "Brenda"

Jerry opens his mouth to say something else, but Jax jumps in before he gets
a chance to get any of it out.  Jax's voice is defensive.

J: "Do you have a problem with Brenda?"

Jerry can immediately tell that speaking about Brenda was a huge mistake.

Jer: "My problem isn't with Brenda, it's with you.  We call you & either you
don't answer or you talk to us for those few moments until Brenda calls you
for something else she wants.  You drop everything for her, is she that good
in Bed?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

In the restaurant, Brenda & Lois have turned their conversation to Brenda' s
favorite subject: Jax.

L: "You & Jax looked happy earlier"
B: "I was"
L: "How is it living with him"?"
B: "Amazingly frustrating"

Lo gives Bren a puzzled look.

B: "He's amazing, not just his looks, everything about him"
L: "What's frustrating about that?"
B: "we're still getting to know each other & I'm still trying to figure out
when it's okay to touch him"
L: "He doesn't seem to mind you touching him"
B: "He's still getting really close then pulling away, that's what's
frustrating.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jax picks up a pillow(the nearest object to  him) & throws it at his brother.

J: "You're a pig, you know that?"
Jer: "What?"  Like you haven't asked me the same thing at least a couple
dozen times"
J: "I don't know why I put up with you"
Jer: "You're telling me that you've been spending all this bloody time with
her, you've been putting off business for her, & you haven't even slept with
her"
J: "Jesus Jerry, is that all you think about?"
Jer: "It used to be all you thought about too. Come on you've never had a
relationship with a women last more then 2 weeks.

J: "What about Brenda?"
Jer: "What about her?  She's not doing anything for you"
J: "She makes me happy"
Jer: "She won't sleep with you"
J: "It's not her who won't sleep with me"
Jer: "What's wrong with you?"  Having trouble getting the equipment to work?"
J: "My equipment is just fine. It's just that it's different with Brenda"
Jer: "How?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bren & Lo's conversation begins taking a turn into the double J's direction.

L: "Did I interrupt something when I came to pick you up? You two looked a
little out of breath when I came in"
B: "Just an incredibly amazing kiss"
L:" "I'm sorry"
B: "It's okay. It was starting to cool down anyway. Just when I thought I was
going to explode from the pure ecstasy of our kiss, Jax decided we were going
too far & started pulling my dress back up"

Lois' eyes bulge.

L: "You were going to do it right there on the couch?"
B: "I wanted to but I guess Jax still isn't ready or"
L: "Or what?"
B: "maybe he's bad"
L: "Bad?"
B: "In bed? That's the only thing I can think of"
L: "Do you really think so?"
B: "I hope not.  That would be a cruel joke if god made him so gorgeous &
wonderful & such an amazing kisser & made him lousy in bed"
L: "Are his kisses really that good?"
B: "Yes!  They're the most amazing incredible ones I've ever experienced"
L: "even with Sonny?"
B: "Much better then Sonny"

~~~~~~~~~~~

The double J's continue their conversation.

Jer: "How? "

J: "I can't explain it. She's just different.  What I feel for her is more
intense then anything "

Jerry starts poring tequila for him & Jax.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B: "It's only been a few hours & already I ,miss him.  Lo I don't know what's
happening to me, I miss him so much"

Unbeknownst to Brenda, as she was saying, "I miss him so much" Sonny & his
wife Lilly were escorted to their seats, with in ear shot of Brenda & Lois.
Neither Lo or Bren notice, but Sonny hears very clearly & assumes that Brenda
is talking about him.  As Lilly talks about how  she wants to redecorate
Sonny's penthouse, Sonny listens to Brenda & Lois' conversation.

L: "I know, it's called love"

Bren just smiles.

B: "I don't know. He means everything to me, but I don' t think he wants me.
Maybe I should just move on"
L: "No Bren, he makes you happier then I've ever seen you.  Don't let that
go, don't let go of him"
B: "But if he doesn't want me, there's nothing I can do"
L: "Believe me, he wants you. I think he's just being stubborn"
B: "Okay, so I won't give up on him"
L: " Were you ever going to?"
B: "No, but maybe I can make him think that I am"

As Brenda says that, memories of S&B go running through Sonny's head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many, many glasses of Tequila later, the double J's are still talking about
Brenda.

Jer: "Everyone knows you're hot for her.  Lady Jane practically has your
entire wedding to her planned & she obviously fell hard for you.  So what's
the problem?"
J: "I don't want to hurt her"
Jer: "Hurt her?  You said she was healing"
J: "she is, it's not that kind of hurt"
Jer: "Jax, I'm not a d*mn mind reader"
J: "Remember your friend Dalia?"
Jer: "What about her?"
J: "Remember what happened?"
Jer: "She fell for you"
J: "Yeah, she fell for me, then I slept with her & dumped her"
Jer: "That was a long time ago, why are you bringing this up now?"
J: "she meant a lot to you, she's the only female friend you ever had & I
ruined that"
Jer: "I forgave you for that a long time ago"
J: "Don't you see, it's not just what happened with her.  She was just the
first of many."
Jer: "What?"
J: "Every time I sleep with a woman, she ends up getting hurt.  I don't want
to do that to Brenda. She means too much to me."
Jer: "But you didn't care about them like Brenda. You've been with her longer
then you were with any of them & you've never dropped business or family for
any of them, like you do for Brenda."
 
While it might of sounded like Jerry was in favor of J&B, the truth is that
he really thought that once Jax slept with Brenda he would get her out of his
system, like he did with all the other ladies he thought were important to
him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Still with out seeing Sonny, Lois leaves to the ladies room. Lois doesn't
realize that Sonny is there until she runs into Lilly in the rest room.  As
Brenda sits thinking about Jax, Sonny slowly moves towards her table.  Bren
starts to dial her phone but then she sees him, sitting across from her, at
her table.

B: "What do you want?"

Sonny sits silently with a smirk on his face & a glare in his eyes.

B: "Why are you here?"
S: "Lilly wanted to come here for dinner"

For the first time since Brenda could remember she didn't feel hate when
Lilly's name was mentioned.

B: "What are you doing at my table?"

Sonny ignores Brenda's question.

S: "How are you?"
B: "Good except for the crutches I still have to use because of your
associates".

As Brenda spoke there was no anger or love in her voice, just indifference.
As Brenda spoke, a look of shock came over Sonny, not only because Brenda
knew that in a way Sonny was the reason why she was injured, but also because
he seemed to have lost his hold on her, she seemed indifferent.  But then
Sonny remembered what he had heard Brenda say earlier, that she would pretend
to be over him even though she still wanted him. At that thought Sonny
once again smirked & even laughed a bit.

B: "It's funny to you that because of you I was run down by a car?"

Sonny can't believe that Brenda's no longer under his spell.

B: "You do know that they did it, don't you?

Sonny doesn't answer.
B: "Shouldn't you be getting back to your wife?"
S: "She's not back yet"
B: "Can you wait at your table anyway, I want to make a phone call.  In
private".

Brenda wasn't trying to be mean or rude, but since she picked up the phone to
call Jax she couldn't get her mind off of hearing Jax's voice.  So Sonny or
no Sonny that's all she really wanted was to make a phone call.  As Sonny
left Brenda thought that he said, "I love you" but she didn't really care.
As soon as Sonny was on his way to the bar, Brenda dialed Jax. To her
surprise the voice on the other end wasn't Jax, but it was a Jacks.

B: "Jerry, is Jax around?"

Jerry, who considers it his duty to "protect"  Jax from ever falling in love,
thinks for a moment before answering.

Jer: "Let me check'

Just when Brenda's about to give up & tell Jerry to forget it, Jax walks back
into the room.

J: "Who is it?"

Jerry mouths that it's no one that Jax knows, just a friend of Jerry's. But
Jax notices that Jerry's on Jax's private cell phone.

J: "Is it Brenda?"

Jerry starts to shake his head no, but sees how Jax's face lights up & hands
him the phone.

J: "Brenda"
B: "Jax, why is Jerry answering your phone?"
J: "He seems to think what's mine is his.  How's dinner?"
B: "Good, girl talk is nice.  What brings Jerry to town?"

Jax laughs.

J: "He thinks you stole me from my family.  He came to check on me"
B: "Is he staying with you?"
J: "No, he's not staying with us.  Is Lois there"
B: "She'll be back in a few minutes"
J: "Are you almost done there?"

Lois comes back & sees Brenda smiling on the phone & immediately knows who
she's talking to.

L: "Jax?"
B: "Yeah Lo, it's Jax"
J: "I better let you go"
B: "Okay, I'll see you in the morning.  Bye"
J: "Bye"
L: "I think Sonny's here, I saw Lilly"
B: "I saw him"
L: "Did you talk to him?"
B: "He came to the table & sat down"
L: "What did he want?"
B: "I guess to tell me he came here with Lilly, I really don't know. He
didn't say much he just sat there & stared"
L : "What did you say?"
B: "I kept asking him why he was here, I told him that I know the accident
was because of him & I asked him to leave"

Lo's voice takes on a joking tone.

L: "You're so mean"

Bren's voice stays serious.

B: "I'm not trying to be mean to him.  I really just wanted to talk to Jax."
L : "doesn't Sonny mean anything to you anymore?"
B: "Not really"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the meantime, the double J's have consumed even more tequila.

J: "I'm scared man"
Jer: "Of losing yourself in Brenda?"
J: "No, of hurting her.  I can take not sleeping with her but I can't take
losing her."
Jer: "Don't' you think you might lose her if you keep
holding out?"
J: "She wouldn't do that"
Jer: "How do you know?"
J: "I just know"

~~~~~~~~~~~

At the restaurant, Lois is off talking to Sonny while Lilly pays Brenda a
visit.

B: "Thank you for saving my life"
Lil :" You want him back don't you?"
B: "Who?"
Lil: "Sonny, who else?"
B: "Lilly I don't want him back. I'm over him."
Lil: "I've heard that before"
B: "The day his associates tried to kill me in front of Luke's, all my
feelings for him disappeared.  Lilly I'm not a threat anymore".

As Lilly walks away, she murmurs, "I wish that were true".

Next time . . . Brenda returns home to Jax, who wants to make love to her! .
. . But will I let them make love when I'm having so much fun writing the
sexual tension?
Subject:    The Love That Heals - Part 18
From:   [email protected] (PepeTDevil)
Date:   17 Jul 1998 14:51:25 EDT

Brenda wasn't kidding when she said she would be out late, well actually it
could be considered early.  Brenda didn't arrive home until shortly after two
in the morning.  Jax had tried to sleep a few hours earlier but he soon
discovered that with out Brenda near him it was nearly impossible to sleep.
So when Brenda tried to quietly creep in early the next morning she found Jax
up waiting up for her.

B: "You didn't have to wait up"
J: "I couldn't sleep"
B: "Something wrong?"
J: "No, I take it the rest of your dinner went well"
B: "Yes!  I went to Lois' for awhile"
J: "You should go there more often"
B: "Why?  You trying to get rid of me?"
J: "I would never try & get rid of you"

Jax pats the cushion next to him .

J: "You look happy"

Bren moves to the couch & sits beside Jax.

B: "I am"

Jax caresses Brenda's hand.

B: "Did Jerry leave?"
J: "He's not here. He rented a room upstairs"
B: "So we're alone?"
J: "Umm Hmm"

Jax's hand moves from Brenda's to her back.

J: "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"
B: "Yes"

Bren starts to grab for her crutches but Jax stops her. His gorgeous eyes
look at her.

J: "Stay with me"
B: "I'm really tired right now"
J: "Please"
B: "I'll give you two minutes to convince me to stay. You better make it good"

Once those words slid out of Brenda's mouth, she knew that the next two
minutes would be difficult but she was determined to make Jax think she was
over him.
Jax drapes Brenda's legs over his own.

J: "Here, put your feet up & relax. You're so beautiful"

Jax cradles Brenda's face with his hand, then pulls her up onto his lap.

J: "I missed you tonight, I couldn't sleep without you"

Brenda fights to hold back her attraction but her face shows Jax that he is
definitely getting to her.  Jax slowly leans into a kiss.  As Brenda's mouth
connects with his, she discovers why he's being so much more forward then
usual, he's been drinking.  From the taste of Tequila throughout his mouth,
he has been drinking a lot.  Normally Brenda wouldn't want to kiss a drunk
man, but Jax's kisses are just as wonderful when he's drunk as when he's
sober.  Jax's hands roam Brenda's body freely as their kiss deepens.  Jax
pulls back for a few seconds & says.

J: "I love you Brenda"

To which Brenda's face lights up.  Just as Brenda's about to respond, Jax
shocks her even more.

J: "I want to make love to you. Tonight!"

Brenda responds with a kiss that tells Jax that she definitely wouldn't mind
making love to him right there.  It's not until they share a few more kisses
& Jax tries to stand up & carry Brenda that she realizes how truly drunk he
is.  Jax stumbles for awhile then puts Brenda back down on the couch.  As Jax
joins Brenda on the couch, she shares one last long delicious kiss with him
before heading up to bed.  Bren hugs Jax, goes to the closet & gets a
blanket which she covers Jax with, then kisses him on the cheek.

B: "Good night. I'll see you in the morning"
J: "You're leaving?"
B: "I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. Good night"
J: "Good night".

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Brenda wakes up after having very little sleep.  It seems
that Brenda's desire to make love to Jax burned inside of her all night long.
 There was also the little matter of what he said.  Bren kept wondering if
Jax really meant what he said when he confessed to loving her or if, in his
drunken state,  he was just trying to get her into bed.
Brenda finds Jax just how she left him, on the couch, covered with the
blanket she placed over him.  Brenda thinks about joining Jax on the couch,
but sits in a chair near the TV instead.  Bren tries to quietly watch TV but
accidentally hits the volume button. Before Brenda can turn the TV down, the
blast of the TV wakes Jax up.  Brenda turns the TV off & moves towards Jax.

B: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you"

The sight of Brenda only lessens Jax's pain a little bit.  Jax tries to act
normal even though his head feels like it's going to explode.

J: "How was your dinner?"

Bren looks at Jax with concern.

B: "You don't remember anything from last night?"

Jax just looks at Brenda.

B: "When I came home, I told you everything"
J: "Refresh my memory"
B: "How much did you drink?  I knew you were drunk but you really don't
remember anything?"

Jax sits up & holds his head.

J: "I don't know, Jerry kept pouring more.  What happened last night?"

Brenda moves over to the couch & cradles Jax's head in her hands.

B: "You really don't remember?"
J: "Oh no!  What did I do"
B: "I'm going to make you something for your hangover then we can talk about
last night."

~~~~~~~~~

B: "Jax do you feel batter?"

A few hours pasted since Jax drank Brenda's hang over remedy. Jax just woke
up from the nap he took for a few hours.

J: "I feel much better. Thank you Brenda"
B: "For what?"
J: "Putting up with me. I know that I lose control when I drink too much.  I
always say things that I regret."
B: "You didn't lose control, not that much. "

Brenda sits beside Jax on the couch & puts her hand into his.

J: "What happened?"
B: "When I came home, you were waiting up. You asked about the rest of my
dinner"
J: "The rest?"
B: "After our phone call, do you remember that?"

Jax thinks for a moment.

J: "Most of it"
B: "I told you all about my night & you talked a bit about Jerry"
J: "Is that all?"
B: "No, you kissed me"
J: "I'm sorry I missed that.  What else did I do?"

Bren thinks <<You said you love me & almost made my dreams come true by
making love to me>>

J: "What did I do?" <<Please don't say I took advantage of you>>
B: "You said you wanted to make love to me"
J: "Did we?"   <Please don't say the first time I made love to you, I was so
drunk I can't remember>>

Brenda laughs.

B: "No"
J: "What happened?"
B: "We were moving in that direction but"
J: <<Please don't tell me my equipment didn't work>>  "But what?"
B: "You tried to carry me & stumbled all over the place?
J: "I didn't drop you, did I?"
B: "No. You put me back on the couch.  We kissed again. Then I covered you &
went to bed"
J: "I'm sorry"
B: "For what?"
J: "Taking advantage, I always do that when I'm drunk"

Brenda cups Jax's face with her soft hands.

B: "You didn't. Jax you didn't do anything that I didn't let you"  <<Or
wanted you to do>>  "You were a complete gentleman"

Jax lets out a sigh of relief.

B: "What usually happens when you get drunk"?"
J: "Either I spill my guts out or sleep with any woman near me"
B: "Why do you get drunk when you don't like how you act?"
J: "I didn't realize how much I was drinking. Jerry kept filling my glass.
Are you sure I didn't hurt you last night"
B: :"Yes. you acted normal except for the stumbling. I didn't even realize
you had been drinking until we kissed."

Next time . . . Brenda makes a confession to a sleeping Jax & Jax puts off
Business for Brenda.