Test of Time Chapter 28

by Lissie on December 08, 1999 at 22:17:23:

Hi angels,

*whew* I finally got this done. I was hoping to get the whole story done by my 21st birthday(today, yipee!), but I guess one chapter will have to do *g*. Everyone enjoy. And remember there are only about 2 to 3 more chapters left in this story. (I'll miss it, but I'll also be glad to finish it)

Lissie :)

Chapter 28

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jax asked her as he came up behind her. She knew he was in the room, but she had continued to stare out the window. It wasn’t his presence that was bothering her, but hers. She wished time could stand still and go back to that fateful night and have things turn out differently. But time had gone on, as did life. Hers and Jax’s. She knew she wanted to be with him, but how could she be sure that they belonged anymore? They hadn’t discussed things about the future yet and how things stood with each other. Unconsciously she leaned back into Jax’s embrace as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jax asked again in a lower voice as he bent closer to her ear so that his breath tickled her ear.

“I’d settle for a kiss,” she answered and turned in his arms.

“I’m sure that can be arranged.” He answered as his lips met hers. The world was forgotten as they shared a breathless kiss. One that Brenda hoped she was reading right – she belonged with him forever. He wanted her to stay.

“Is she down for the night?” she asked, referring to Jean. They had both put her down for the night, but Jax had stayed behind to make sure she fell asleep peacefully. He was so good with her sometimes it amazed her. But then he had a knack of always being able to amaze her.

“Sleeping like a baby.” He rubbed her back and played with silky strands of hair that cascaded down her back.

“Good. Now I have her daddy all to myself.”

“Oh you do, do you?”

“I believe so, do you think he’ll mind?”

“You’ll have to ask him, but I don’t think he’d like anything better to spend some time with an angel like you if he’s anything like me.”

“You mean it?” she asked suddenly, changing the mood from light heartedness to serious.”

He stared at her for a moment like he was trying to read her. As if he was trying to figure out what was bothering her.

“Brenda, of course I mean it,” he answered in a soothing, concerned voice.

“You’re sure?” she asked, her voice sounding unsure.

“I said I was. What brought this on?”

“I’m confused as to what happens next.”

“What do you mean, next?” he asked with a hint of worry and concern in his voice.

“I mean where do if fit in? Where do I fit in to your life? I’ve got my identity back, but what about my life? Do I start over or continue where I left off?” she glanced at Jax at her last line, realizing that was unfair to Jax. How could she continue where she left off when he’d already continued on without her?

“I can’t continue on where I left off, can I? I’m being selfish, I’m sorry. I don’t know how you fell about all this. You’ve been here for me but I need to know if I’m disrupting your life. Jean and I can find a place to live on our own...”

“Whoa! Brenda, honey, come here and sit down.” He led her to the couch where they both sat.

“I’m sorry, I just...I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“You know how you feel, though, don’t you?”

She nodded yes. Of course she did. That was one of the things she was very sure of. Probably the only thing she knew she could count on right now were her feelings.

“So do I. I’m not sure how to say how I’m feeling, but I know how I feel. I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t want you to go anywhere, unless you want to. I want to love you for the rest of our lives. I want Jean to know her parents love her and each other. I want to be able look back at our lives and have more memories of us together than apart. How do you feel about that?”

“Oh wow,” she said in between tears. He had said he couldn’t put in words what he felt, but he had somehow put to words how she felt. “I feel...feel just like you do. I love you and I always will. I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.”

“I’m not letting you go anywhere without me again,” he said as he pulled her close to him as if to reassure them both that what he said was true.

“Jax, there’s something else I need to know.”

“Anything.”

“We’re in this together, right?”

“Yes.”

“For the long haul?”

“Definitely.”

“Forever?”

“As long as forever is, and this time it better be longer. Does that ease your mind a bit?”

“Almost. It seems to me that if you and I are going to be together forever, then maybe we should make it legal?”

“Miss Barrett, are you asking me to marry you again?”

“Yes. Now how do you feel about that?”

“I’d like nothing more than to make you my wife. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, if it’s want you want and you’re sure it ‘s what you want.”

“I’m sure. I thought it was you who wasn’t sure.”

“Why?”

“Because Bobbie said you took my engagement ring when I was in the hospital. You haven’t given it back to me yet.”

“Brenda, why weren’t you wearing it?”

“I had been. I had it on a chain that I wore around my neck until I could wear it on my finger again. My fingers swelled up when I was pregnant so I had to take it off. But is always kept it close to me.”

“I’m sorry. I took it because I wanted to keep it safe from people sifling through your belongings at the hospital. I also kept it because you hadn’t asked for it back. I thought maybe you didn’t remember it’s significance, or want to remember its significance.”

“Jax?”

“Yes?”

“Can I have my ring back?”

“All you had to do was ask. Stay right her while I go get it.”

He left the room and was back before she could miss him.

“Do you think it will fit your finger now?” He asked as he unclasped the chain that held the ring. She was relieved to see it unharmed and looking as beautiful as she had remembered it to be.

“I don’t know. It’s been awhile since I’ve tried.”

“Let’s find out.” He slid the ring off the chain and knelt on his knees before her.”

She inhaled a deep breath and felt tears mist around her eyes as he said the words, “Brenda Barrett will you do the honor of becoming my wife?” He effortlessly slipped the ring on her finger. It was finally where it belonged, as was she.

“Yes, again and again, yes,” she cried as she threw her arms around Jax and hugged him tight. “Do you think it’ll come true this time?”

“It better,” he said as his lips kissed her tears away and found their way to her lips.

One kiss was not enough for either of them. One kiss lead to another, and soon their passionate kisses led to more as they reacquainted themselves with the penthouse couch.

Later in the night, with a blanket wrapped around them, Jax laid awake in the dark of the living room with Brenda by his side. For the first time in a long time, he felt complete. Everything he held dear to him was within his reach. It had been a long time since his world had felt this right. He knew Brenda loved him, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Come hell or high water he was going to make her his legal wife once and for all. She was already his wife in his heart and mind.

And now he had a daughter, their family was well on their way. He had already missed precious few months in Jean’s life, he was determined to not miss anymore. He couldn’t wait to watch her grow and become as beautiful as her mother. His little girl was going to get all the love and happiness in the world, but she would not be spoiled. She would understand the miracle of life and just plain miracles. There was already so many of them in his life, his daughter was going to know the importance of them. With everyone doting on her, she was well on her way to knowing love. Even Brooke Lynne thought she was the “betheth baby in the whole wide world.” He couldn’t agree more.

But Brenda was right. Their future was uncertain, but as long as they worked through their obstacles together they would be able to handle anything. Hadn’t they already?

***

After waking up in Jax’s arms for the second time in for the past two mornings, Brenda knew that she always wanted to wake up in his arms. It made facing the day so much better. As her ring glistened in the sunlight that peeped through the window of the L&B office, she admired it and knew that this time her dream was going to come true. It had to.

“Girlfriend, you’ve been holdin’ out on me. When did that pretty thing get on your finger?” Lois asked as she approached the Brenda’s desk and admired the ring on her finger.

“It’s my engagement ring Lois! Can you believe it? I thought I’d never see it on my finger again.”

“Of course it was going to go on your finger again, hon. Why wouldn’t it. Jax and you were made for each other, I can just tell by watching the way the two of you look at each other. The question is when did the two of you realize it?”

“Last night.”

“Ahh, the magic of love. Bren, you and I are going to be married women again pretty soon!”

“I know. This is real isn’t it Lois? I’m not going to wake up and find this all a dream am I?”

“Sweetie, this is as real as it gets. You can believe in it all you want.”

“Thanks Lo.”

“Anytime Bren.”

Sometime later when Lois had managed to get Brenda caught up to speed on the business dealings in the past year and they were both working on a contract for new talent, Lois asked her, “Bren, there’s a slight matter we need to discuss.”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“Well, the Fulfill a Dream contest we had...well some of our contributors to the project are getting antsy about what we’re going to do with their money they donated to make someone’s dream come true. Not to say that a dream didn’t come true, because having you back in our lives is the best thing any of us could have asked for, but...”

“They want their money back if it’s not going to be used.”

“Yes, and since the contest money hasn’t gone towards anything they want it back as soon as they can get it, which isn’t a problem, but I was wondering if you have any ideas. You were the original recipient, and the contest was in honor of you, so I think it’s only fair that you decide what we do with it. Should we return it, or rehold the contest?”

“Actually, I have an idea. There was this family I worked with when I was out west, I helped them through some hard times, and they helped me. I’ll have to do some checking, but I’d like to do something for them, if that’s okay.”

“Depends on what you have in mind.”

“I’ll have to get back to you on that, but I want them to have the time of their lives."

TBC....