By MollyS
Brenda’s Cottage
Next Night
10:30pm
Brenda slowly walked onto the porch and reached for the doorknob. “Brenda, I see
you
got my message.” Jason said sitting in the corner of the porch looking out onto the
lawn
with one leg bent across the other knee.
Brenda turned quickly and placed her hand over her heart “What the hell...Jason
what
were you trying to do? God you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
Jason stood up and adjusted his worn leather coat “I have something for you.”
“If it’s from Sonny I don’t want it.” Brenda said emotionless.
Jason pulled an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Brenda.
Brenda rolled her eyes “Sonny is such a coward. Why doesn’t he show his face
to me
instead of sending me stupid letters.” Brenda shook her head and slapped Jason’s
hand “I
don’t want it.”
“He heard about the attack and he wants you to know he has men watching you and
looking for Sorel. He has guards surrounding this house so you don’t have to worry.”
“I don’t want Sonny’s protection! I don’t need it. You can take the
letter back to him
and tell him to shove it. And you can tell him that I don’t need his stupid guards
either.”
“He also wants you to know he has bought out your mortgage and he’s sending
workers
here tomorrow to start remodeling. He knows how freaked you’d be after the shooting.”
“WHAT?” Brenda screamed “How dare he! He has no right to do that! Who
the hell
does he think he is?” Brenda let out a loud frustrated groan “You can just tell
Sonny, I
don’t want his ‘help’ or his letters or his guards!”
Jason shook head as he set the letter down on the chair and walked off the porch
silently.
Brenda looked at the letter and then at Jason’s figure disappearing into the
distance.
Brenda grabbed for the letter and turned to open it but stopped herself. She closed her
eyes as she rubbed the edge of the envelope with her fingertips.
***************FLASHBACK***********
Brenda is giggling “You really can’t say it can you?”
Sonny smiles as he runs her hands across his cheek and over his lips as Brenda laughs
“How many times do I have to tell you sweetheart that it aint the words that count?
It’s
the action.”
“Yeah but sometimes some words count a little more than others. But it’s ok,
it is. Just
exactly what you are doing is enough for me right now.”
“I’ll show you enough.” Sonny kisses her forehead and gives her a
lingering kiss on the
lips.
“I love you Brenda.”
Brenda smiled “I know.”
**************END OF FLASHBACK*****
Brenda opened her eyes and looked straight ahead “It’s over Sonny. Why can’t
you just
leave me alone?” Without a single tear in her eye Brenda grabbed the letter and with
one
hand crumpled it up and dropped it on the porch.
...........
Brenda’s Hotel Suite
Days Later
5:00pm
“What do you think of this one?” Brenda said in between bites of Rocky Road
ice cream
“Cozy condo in the middle of the city, 2 bedrooms, 1 large bath.” Brenda looked
at Jax
hopeful.
Jax made a face and shook his head “Brenda I don’t understand why you don’t
go back to
your cottage? I thought you liked it there.”
Brenda dug into the carton for another scoop and ignoring Jax’s comments “Ohhh
this one
sounds good. Listen...2 bedroom/1 bath, fireplace in master bedroom and living room,
hardwood floors, in remote place.”
Jax remained stone faced “Brenda will you tell me what’s going on?”
Brenda gently lowered the paper “Is that a maybe on this one? I kind of like it too.”
“BRENDA!” Jax yelled “Would you stop ignoring me for one second and tell
me what’s
bothering you. I thought you liked the cottage.”
Brenda stood up and folded up the paper and stared at Jax for a moment “I do.”
Jax softly answered “Then why are you looking for another place?”
“I need a change of scenery. Besides I can’t stay there, I mean you were shot
there!”
“You know we never did really talk about what happened that night.” Jax said
firmly.
Brenda sat down on the edge of her bed “What’s there to talk about?”
“Who this Sorel guy is. What he wanted. Why. Etc., Etc..”
“I thought I told you all that in the hospital” Brenda said.
Jax slowly looked away from Brenda and rattled off some information “Sorel is
involved
with your ex-fiancee Sonny and he thought you knew where he was, right?”
Brenda bobbed her head slightly to show his was right as Jax continued “So when
you got
to your house, Sorel was there waiting, pulled a gun and threatened you?”
“That’s pretty much it.” Brenda said standing up “Care for a drink?
How are you feeling
by the way?”
Jax looked at her a little worried “Is there something I’m missing?”
Brenda pushed her hair away from her face as she poured a drink “Like?”
“Like is there something else bothering you?”
Brenda pushed her lips together in a frown “Why would you say that?”
“Well you’ve been acting kind of funny all night.”
Brenda slammed her drink down “When did you start thinking you could read my moods
to a tee?’
“Brenda...I’m sorry. I was just worried about you, that’s all.”
Brenda held back tears as she finally admitted the truth “I got a message from
Jason to
meet him at the cottage. Seems Sonny has guards surrounding the house and he even
bought out my mortgage so he can send construction workers to remodel the house! Can
you believe it!? Then Jason hands me a stupid letter from Sonny.”
Jax remained silent for a moment as he watched Brenda. “And what did he say?”
“I don’t know.” Brenda said sniffing back tears “I never read the letter.”
“Why?” Jax asked curious.
Brenda shrugged “I see no point.”
“No point? Are you sure?”
“I’m over him Jax, if that’s what you are trying to get at.”
Jax ran his fingers through his hair “Really?”
Brenda nodded and tried to explain “Sonny and I had the passion, we had the
chemistry,
but we could never get the love thing down very well. I sort of feel sorry for him because
he really has no idea what love is, but I needed to have the white picket fence and the
house on the corner. Sonny just could never do that for me. After he left me at that
altar,
I came to the conclusion Sonny and I were just never meant to be. I needed something
more, something he could never give me. Sometimes I would start to realize that, but he
would always take me ins his arms and say just the right thing to make me forgot
everything. I really try to resist him but sometimes I’m not strong enough.”
Jax watched as Brenda started to cry and felt his heart break “Brenda you are a
very
smart, beautiful strong person. Don’t short change yourself.”
“You’ve never seen me give into Sonny’s smile before have you?”
Jax shook his head “I don’t have to. I just have to look at you and see what
a strong
person you are. Besides now if you don’t feel so strong you can just lean on me.”
Brenda giggled “Like the song?”
Jax smiled “Yeah, because I want to be here for you Brenda, anytime you need me.”
Brenda started to smile as she walked over to Jax and wrapped her arms around him
“Thanks for making me feel so good Jax.”
Jax gently ran his hand over the back of her head as she laid it against his chest.
“You
make it easy Brenda.”
Brenda pulled back slightly so she could look Jax in the eye “Thank you for coming
into
my life. Thank you for making me feel like I’m special.”
Jax caressed Brenda’s cheek with the back of his hand “You are.”
Brenda didn’t say anything as she placed her hand behind Jax’s head and
directed him
toward her lips. Their lips brushed together and suddenly Jax grabbed Brenda to deepen
the kiss with such passion that started even him. They stood together in a heated
embrace, passion running through their veins. Neither showing any signs of breaking
apart.
The Sun is shinning everyday
Clouds never get in the way
For you and Me
I’ve known you just a week or two
But baby I’m so into you
Can hardly breathe
Jax and Brenda broke apart for a quick second to catch their breath. Jax rested his
forehead against hers and they both smiled big as they resumed kissing.
And I’m in so totally wrapped up emotionally
Attracted so physically
Actin so recklessly
I need you so desperately
Sure as the sky is blue
Baby I love you
Brenda felt Jax’s hand reach up and caress the bare skin of her back as she
continued to
deepen the kiss. Neither Jax nor Brenda had ever been so emotionally into a kiss, both
feeling sparks of lust but more than ever they felt their feelings being poured out into
each
other.
I never knew I could feel like this
Can hardly wait till our next kiss
You’re so cool
If I’m dreamin please don’t wake me up
Cause baby I can’t get enough of what you do!
.........
The Following Day
4:00pm
Jax sat at his desk staring at a piece of paper and scratching his forehead when he
heard a
knock on the door “Come in” he yelled.
Brenda peeked inside the door and jumped behind Jax and used her finger and thumb to
make a ‘gun’ and shoved in into Jax’s back “I am kidnapping you for
the evening.”
Jax held up his hands in pretend surrender “Oh no! Where are you taking me?”
“Eddie Maine concert” Brenda said jumping in front of Jax smiling flashing two tickets.
“Do I have permission to change first? If you don’t mind, I’d like to
take you to dinner
before.”
Brenda leaned against the side of the couch and looked serious “Oh, I was going to
cook
something for you. Can I borrow your kitchen?”
Jax froze his eyes wide open “You are kidding, right?”
Brenda started laughing hysterically. Jax looked around then frowned “What? What’s
so
funny?”
“You should see your face!” Brenda said pointing at him “You were really
worried,
weren’t you?!”
Jax shook his head as he headed toward the stairs “I’m not thinking this is
too funny and
you better watch it sister! I can very easily call Mac and tell him that you were
threatening
to kidnap me if I didn’t do what you said.”
Brenda plopped down on the couch and smirked at Jax who was standing at the top of the
stairs “Yeah I’m sure he is going to see me, as a real threat to you!”
“Brenda Barrett!” Jax yelled heading toward his room “You are a threat to mankind!”
Brenda folded her arms across her chest as she yelled back “I’ll take that as
a compliment
Mr. Jacks!”
........
Later that Night
Luke’s
“Great concert Ned!” Jax yelled over the loud music and screaming fans as
everyone piled
into Luke’s for a post-concert party.
“Thanks man” Ned said patting Jax on the back as Brenda hugged Ned “You rocked!”
Ned thanked them and head off into the crowd. Jax and Brenda dodged through the
groups of people to the bar and sat down. “I can’t believe the people!”
Brenda said
munching on some peanuts.
“No kidding! Who would have thought all these people would have come to see Ned.”
Jax said rolling his eyes as he smiled.
Brenda held up a finger “Eddie Maine”
Jax popped a few peanuts into his mouth “Right! So would you like to dance.”
Brenda shook her head “Naw, groupies were never much my thing. I would rather take
a
walk or something.”
Jax glanced around at the growing crowd “I guess we made our appearance.”
“Great, let’s say bye to Ned and go” Brenda grabbed for Jax’s arm.
Jax looked around
the room as Brenda stood on her tip-toes “Do you even see Ned?” Jax shook his
head no.
“I doubt he’ll notice if we leave.”
Brenda gave one more glance around the club and Jax led her out of the club.
...........
“I would invite you in but I have to get up at 6am for a shoot tomorrow!”
Brenda said
apologetically.
“Hey I understand. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Jax said kissing Brenda on the cheek.
Brenda smiled as Jax headed toward the elevator. She inserted her card and opened the
door. Brenda flipped on the lights and nearly screamed as saw a man sitting on her bed.
Before she could say another word, Jason leapt to his feet and pulled her into the hallway.
“I hope you don’t mind” Jason said shutting the door. “I thought I’d let myself in.”
“What the HELL are you doing here?” Brenda demanded “And why are we here
in the
hallway?”
“I have a message from Sonny.”
Brenda pushed passed Jason “I don’t want to hear it. So leave before I call security.”
“I thought you might like to know something about Sorel.”
“I don’t have to worry about him anymore, I thought. Remember Sonny left so I
could be
saved from them.”
“He’s going after Jax.” Jason said without hesitating.
“What are you talking about?” Brenda said folding her arms across her chest.
“Look all I know is that, Sorel and his men seem to think you know where Sonny is.
They
are out for revenge Brenda. They plan to start what the finished at the cottage.”
“Why don’t they come after me? Why Jax?”
“Sorel knows that the organization is protecting you, and they feel the next
closest person
to hurt you is the new boyfriend.”
“I don’t understand.” Brenda said looking annoyed. Jason handed Brenda a
file. She
pulled out pictures of her and Jax. “Where did you get these?”
“Sorel sent them to me. It’s a warning Brenda. They are following you and Jax.”
Brenda took a long sip of her drink “So what I am supposed to do?”
“The best thing would be to stay clear of Jax. Stage some sort of public break up.
That
way Sorel’s guys will see that you two aren’t together and probably forget Jax.”
Brenda clasped her hands together “No way.”
“It’s the only way to protect Jax.”
Brenda hesitated “Why do you care?”
“I don’t. But Sonny cares about you”
Brenda laughed as she sipped on her drink “That’s the biggest bunch of crap I’ve
heard
this year. Now I’m pretty sure Jax can take care of himself. I’ll just let him
know what’s
up and he can be extra careful. Or he can stay here with me.”
Jason frowned “Brenda you know how this all works. They’ll get to him
eventually.
Look what happened at the cottage.”
“Can I at least tell him what’s up?”
Jason placed a hand on each of Brenda’s shoulders “I’ll bet the coffee
house that your
suite is bugged, so is your phone, so is Jax’s place.”
Brenda stomped her foot “This is completely ridiculous. You know I know where
Sonny
is. I should just tell Sorel where he is, and end this. Why should I protect him anymore?”
Jason let his arms collapse back to his side “He left the island weeks ago Brenda.
Besides
Sorel’s men have already been there.”
Brenda groaned loudly “I thought Sonny left so I could be protected? Now I have to
sneak around again and have some guard follow me so I can stay alive? How is this any
better then living with him?”
Jason shrugged and ignored Brenda’s comment “Listen I suggest you dump Jax,
the
sooner the better. Sorel will probably leave him alone.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Brenda cringed “Jason I care about Jax. I don’t
want anything to
happen to him. But I can’t hurt him.”
“Brenda if you want to keep him alive, it’s the only way.”
“Why can’t I just tell him the truth. At Kelly’s or some place?”
Jason groaned loudly “Brenda, they’ll know it’s fake. They’d find
out you were lying and
they’d probably seek revenge. Just make the break up public and stay clear of Jax for
awhile. After we deal with Sorel, you can go back to playing house with him.”
“If he’ll even still speak to me” Brenda sighed “I hate Sonny for
doing this to me and to
Jax. It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all.”
Jason slapped Brenda on the shoulder “All is not fair in love and war. We’ll
keep in
touch.”
Brenda felt warm tears fall onto her cheeks, but didn’t bother to brush them away.
She
was hurting and the thought of hurting Jax nearly crushed her.
.........
12:00pm
Next Afternoon
Penthouse Grille
Jax stood up when he spotted Brenda. Brenda took a deep breath and walked over to
him. “I was beginning to wonder if I had to dine alone.” Jax said pushing her
chair in.
“Sorry I was late, the shoot ran just a tad over.”
Jax opened his napkin “No need to apologize. So how was the shoot?”
“Great.” Brenda said reaching for her menu. Jax was smiling at her. Brenda
put down her
menu “What?”
“I was going to wait till after lunch to give you this, but I couldn’t help
myself.” Jax said
reaching for a box under the table and handing it to Brenda. Brenda smiled as she
delicately untied the bow and peered inside the box “A mailbox?” Brenda said a
little
confused.
“For your new place” Jax said happily “I thought you’d like it.”
Brenda felt a tear roll down her cheek and felt a lump growing in her throat. “It’s
beautiful Jax, thank you.” She looked at the mailbox and grinned as she saw her name
written on the side. She ran her fingers over the letters.
“I’m glad you like it” Jax said reaching for him menu. “So what shall we have today?”
Brenda took another deep breath and decided it was time “I’m sorry Jax, I can’t
accept
this.”
Jax slowly set down his menu “Excuse me?”
“I was coming here today to tell you, I don’t think we should continue seeing
each other.”
She lied “It’s best if we went our separate ways.”
Jax’s forehead wrinkled “I don’t understand. I thought things were good between us.”
Brenda struggled to hold back her tears “I realized alot of things and I think we
aren’t
good for each other.”
“Brenda where is all of this coming from?” Jax said feeling his whole heart trembling.
“From my heart” Brenda gritted her teeth “I’m sorry Jax, but that
is just the way it is.
Now I should get going.”
Jax stood up “Brenda please” he reached for her hand and Brenda decided it
was time to
go public. She yanked back her hand and yelled “Jax, stop it!”
Jax looked around uncomfortably “Brenda, I’m sorry”
“Let it go Jax” Brenda said loudly “We are over. That’s it.”
Brenda turned on her heels and walked out of the restaurant. She hurried around the
corner so no one would catch the flood of tears flowing down her cheeks. She headed
straight into the ladies bathroom, locked the door and sank to her knees crying
hysterically.
........
Inside my skin there is this space
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches
Jax slowly glanced around the restaurant and noticed most people where staring at him.
Not sure what to make of the situation that had just happened, Jax sank back to his chair.
Inside my heart
There’s an empty room
It’s waiting for lighting
It’s waiting for you
And I am wanting
And I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Brenda stood up slowly, afraid her knees would give out, looked at herself in the
mirror.
She reached for a paper towel and tried to fix her make-up.
Muscle and Sinew
Velvet and Stone
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans
My bones call to you
In their separate skin
Jax threw some dollar bills onto the table as he leaned over and picked up the mailbox.
I make myself translucent
To let you in
For I am wanting
And I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Brenda reached for the door handle of the bathroom and with every ounce of strength she
had, she turned it and left the bathroom.
For I am wanting you
And I am needing you here
I need you near
Inside the absence of fear
Jax tucked the mailbox under his arm and slowly strolled out of the Grille.
Song Credits
1.) I Love You-Martina McBride
2.) Absence of Fear-Jewel