B: “Jax, you’re not leaving are you?  You just got home.”

    Jax looks at Brenda who apparently got up, took her shower, got dressed
in baggy sweats and a loose turtle neck and then climbed back into bed,
covering herself partly with the blankets but also leaving part of her
clothing uncovered.

J: “I was going to drive you to work, that way we can pick Brooke up together
after her school gets out and we don’t have to deal with two cars.”

    Brenda looks at Jax and holds out her hand, which he takes as he sits on
the bed, next to her.

B: “Relax honey.  Edward is picking up Brooke today.  I’m not going to work
today.  I want to spend a day alone with you.”
J: “Isn’t that what we’re going to do tomorrow?”
B: “Yes, but I couldn’t wait that long.”

    Jax looks at Brenda with a brilliant smile, then slowly kisses her,
lingering for minutes of delectable pleasure.

B: “Why don’t you go change into something more enjoyable and come and join
me in bed.”

    Jax gives Brenda a devilishly handsome smile and then tries to kiss her
but the phone stops him.  Jax pulls out his cell phone and gives Bren an,
“I’m sorry” look.

    Jax’s phone conversation is brief but very disappointing.

B: “You have to go somewhere?”
J: “That was Addie, she called Mr. Boowitch to make sure he had all the paper
work for our meeting, but he already left and couldn’t be reached, so”
B: “You can’t cancel.  How long will it be?”
J: “As quick as I can make it.  No more then an hour or I’ll walk out during
it.”
B: “Is there anything else you have to do?”
J: “No.  I’m all yours after the meeting, but I do need to get to it.”
B: “Where are you meeting him?”
J: “PC Grill.  And yes I’ll bring you some of those mint cookies you love so
much.”
B: “I don't need them as long as I have you.”

    Jax leans in and kisses Brenda longingly, then heads out the door,
leaving Brenda looking very forward to the rest of the day, once Jax returns.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Several months had passed since the tragic deaths of Lois, her parents,
and Ned.  Brenda and Jax often had Lois’ brothers and other family members
over, visiting Brooke, and they took Brooke to see the Quartermaines often.
They struck up a deal with Edward, that seemed to make him okay with Brooke’s
living arrangements.
    Every Friday night they would Bring Brooke over to the Quartermine’s,
where she would stay all of Saturday, and part of Sunday if she wanted.  The
deal wasn’t entirely for Edward.  Brenda and Jax soon found out that being
Brooke’s “God mommy” and “Angel Jax” was a lot less demanding then caring
for her all day long.  Robin’s hours of baby sitting was very helpful, but
Jax and Brenda were still exhausted most of the time.  The first Friday after
Brooke came to live with them, after they returned from  their honeymoon,
they brought her to Edwards and let him keep her for the night and next day.
When they went to pick her up they asked Edward if he would like to keep that
arrangement weekly, which Edward quickly agreed to.
    Brenda and Jax enjoyed their time alone but they were still very sad over
the loss of their friends.  They loved having Brooke with them but would give
anything to have her parents back for her.  Brooke seemed to be adjusting
well but an outsider could easily see that Jax and Brenda would soon need to
stop giving her everything she wanted, and start applying a little
discipline.
    About a week after living with J&B, Brooke began testing her limits,
which she soon realized didn’t seem to exist.  If she wanted something, and
it was possible to get it for her, that’s exactly what Jax and Brenda did,
especially Jax.  Jax never knew just how much he wanted a child until Brooke
became his and Brenda’s to raise.  He loved everything about having her there
and he wanted her to be as happy as she made him and Brenda, unfortunately
Brooke realized that what ever she wanted to get she got and that in their
cottage she was the one in charge.  An outsider could see that Jax and Brenda
were giving Brooke too much power, but all they could see was that she was a
bundle of joy and a sweet reminder of her parents and grandparents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Brenda’s patience were beginning to wear thin by the time that fifty
minutes passed and she still hadn’t heard from Jax.  She pagan pacing, and
then picking up all of Brooke’s toys which were laying around.  She kept
telling herself that if Jax said he would be back within an hour, he would be
back, but a very small part of her was worried that he wouldn’t be.
    Jax did make it back within an hour, in 59 minutes to be exact.  Brenda
practically ran him over in an effort to hug him.  She didn’t realize, until
that second, that she hadn’t had a long uninterrupted hug from him since
their honeymoon.  Since Brooke arrived there was always interruptions.  As
much as Brenda loved that little girl, she was beginning to wonder if raising
her was too much for even them to handle.  Jax never doubted their ability,
he loved Brooke as much as he would his own child, to him all Brooke did was
enhance their lives.

B: “I was getting worried.”
J: “I said I would be back.  Have I ever lied to you?”
B: “No, but I didn’t’ hear from you, I didn’t know what happened.”
J: “This isn’t just about my meeting today is it?”
B: “You know me so well.”
J: “Is this about Lois, Ned,  Carmine and Gloria?”

    Brenda’s tears told Jax that her answer was definitely yes.

J: “That’s not going to happen to me Brenda.   That was a freak tragedy,
it’s not going to happen.”
B: “Ned never would of thought that would happen to him either, but it did.”
J: “I know you miss them, we all do, but you can’t go around worrying that
something happened everytime I’m late for something, or not as quick as you
would like.”

    Brenda quickly scooted into the little area between Jax’s legs and looked
him dead in the eyes.

B: “I can’t lose you Jax, you’re everything to me.”
J: “Nothing’s going to happen to me, I’m going to stay right here with you,
raising Brooke.  We’re a family now.  I know we’ve always felt like one, but
now outsiders see us as a family too.”
B: “Jax do you ever feel like it’s too much? Like raising our best friends
daughter is too much for us?”
J: “Never.  I love you and Brooke.  I know it’s a little difficult now, but
that’s just because we’re not used to having a child around all the time.
As long as we love eachother we can get through anything.  It might take time
until we feel like a  whole family, like Brooke’s a part of our family and
not just Ned and Lois’s baby, but over time it will happen, we will be a
family, I know that just like I know that we will always be together.”
B: “You know we have this whole house to ourselves for a few days, no
interruptions.”
J: “Are you trying to seduce me?”
B: “Is it working?”

    Come here and I’ll show you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    After hours of making love, Jax and Brenda decided to go out on the town
since they hadn’t spent much time with only adults around in what seemed like
forever.
    Dinner was first on their agenda.  They went to a wonderfully elegant
restaurant where they were free to dress up and admire eachother over dinner
in a romantic atmosphere.  Dinner lead to a party that Jax was invited to,
where they danced the night away.  Unfortunately for them when it  felt like
two in the morning, they looked at  a clock that informed them that it was
really only nine thirty.
    The exhaustion of raising a child seemed to be catching up to them and
making time seem to go by really slowly.  Jax and Brenda were determined not
to let their night end so early so they decided to go to the movies where
they would be able to relax, and if needed, fall asleep while still out of
their house.  They decided on an R raided movies just because there wouldn’t
be any kids around.
    Jax and Brenda enjoyed everything about having uninterrupted time
together, they even enjoyed standing in line, they were like two love sick
teenagers, taking every opportunity to enjoy the limited time they had to
focus solely on the other.  Unfortunately for them that time seemed to be all
too brief.
    The first part of the movie was wonderful, though if asked, Jax or Brenda
wouldn’t be able to say a thing that happened, since they were both too busy
focusing on their spouse.  During intermission they walked out to the snack
area to get drinks and popcorn, which turned out to be the end of their
evening alone since a beautiful little girl with sparkling blue eyes came
running towards them.

    The little girl was followed by an elderly man, screaming at another man.

E: “Reginald will you get that child before some criminal kidnaps her?”
R: “They’re not criminals, their her guardians.”
E: “How did you find where I brought her?”
B: “Now Edward, why would we give you time with her if we weren’t going to
let you spend it with her?  WE decided to come to a movie, that’s all.  We
had no way of knowing you would be here.  What are you doing here?  Shouldn’t
Brooke be in bed?”
R: “Miss Brooke informed us that she doesn’t have to go to sleep if she’s
not tired, then she threw a tantrum until Mr. Quartermaine brought her to see
the newest Disney movie.”

    Brenda looked over to Brooke, but before she could scold her, her heart
melted at the sight.  Jax stood there holding Brooke, while Brooke
practically drooled over Jax.  Brenda could see that Jax was saying
something, but she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying to Brooke, all
she knew was that whatever it was, it sure was making Brooke happy.  Jax
finally turned around, for which he was rewarded with Brenda’s brilliant
smile greeting him and Brooke.

J: “It seems that Edward’s been spoiling our little girl.”
E: “I’ve been spoiling her?”
J: “Sweetie, why don’t you go give Brenda a hug, then you and your great
grandpa and your friend Reggie can finish seeing the movie?”

    Brooke’s response was one that all parents dread.  She opened her mouth
and let out the loudest sound she possibly could.

b: “NO, I stay wif you.”
B: “Brooke, don’t you want to spend time with your great grandpa Edward?”
b: “He no let me do what I want, he say do this, do that, go bed, clean mess.
 I say blow out you ear and he say you no talk me like that little girl.
Angel Jax and mommy God let me have fun.”
J: “Sweetie you have fun with your great grandpa too, you just finished
telling me about the sleigh ride he took you on and the arcade games you
played.”
b: “I no have fun in e more.”
B: “Brooke did you tell Edward that you wanted to see this movie?”

    Brooke shook her little head yes.

B: “You know how I’m always telling you what I learned from your parents,
and grand parents?”

    Brooke shook her head more eagerly this time.

B: “Well there’s something I learned from Jax, and from your mommy, and
that’s that you should always keep your word.”
b “What that mean angel Jax?”
J: “That means that if you say you want to do something, like watch this
movie, and someone takes you to do it, you should stay.”
b “I have to finish watch movie?”
B: “Yes.  That’s what I mean.  Edward’s going to take you home with him
tonight.  He has big plans for you for tomorrow.  Then if you still feel like
coming home, we’ll pick you up.”
b “I no go home wif you night?”
J: “No sweetie.  Brenda and I promised your great grandfather that you could
stay with him on Friday nights, remember?”
b: “I memeber but I no like.”
B: “If you’re really unhappy there, you can ask Reginald to call us and
we’ll discuss it, but only if you’re really unhappy, not just because you
don’t want to go to bed or clean up your mess.  Okay?”
b: “Kay.”

    Jax made sure to hug Brooke tightly before handing her over to Brenda,
for a goodnight hug.

J: “We’ll see you on Sunday.  Bye sweetie.”
B: “We love you.”

    Brenda and Jax watched as Edward, Reginald, and Brooke all went back to
her Disney movie.  They started to walk back into their movie but then they
both realized that they would rather be at home.

J: “I haven’t been watching the movie,”
B: “And I’ve just been watching you.”
J: “If we go home, we can”
B: “Cuddle in front of the TV and enjoy ourselves more.”
J: “Exactly.”
B: “Lets go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Brenda and Jax quickly changed into night clothes, grabbed a blanket and
cuddled on the couch to watch an old movie.  It wasn’t long before both of
them were drifting  off to sleep.  Several times they tried to kiss, but each
time one or both of them would yawn and ruin the moment.  Finally they fell
asleep with Jax’s head on top of Brenda’s.  They both dreamt about having
more days where they could spend time together without interruptions but deep
down, even when they weren’t conscious they knew that those days would be few
and far between and when they did come they would probably be too exhausted
to enjoy them completely.
    As Brenda and Jax slept that night they both also dreamt about something
else, something that woke both of them up out of fear.  They both dreamt
about Brooke getting out of control and refusing to follow any rules.
The Click of a Mouse - Chapter 18

    Despite Jax and Brenda’s bad dreams about Brooke being out of control,
they both woke up with huge smiles, and thoughts of an entire day to
themselves.  Jax didn’t waste a second before he kissed Brenda to wish her a
good morning.

B: “Mmmmmm.  Do I really get you to myself all day?”
J: “Unless our little princess decides that she’s too miserable at the
Quartermanie’s.  Maybe we shouldn’t have made her stay there last night.”
B: ”We did the right thing Jax, she has to learn to deal with discipline, she
can’t come running to us everytime she doesn’t like a rule that she has to
follow.”
J: “I know you’re right sweetie but It’s so hard.”
B: “I know, but it will be  good for her.  Do you think we should stop by
today, just for a few minutes to make sure she’s okay?:
J: “That was my first thought too, but we can’t Brenda.  We have to let her
learn to be away from us, they’re her family and she has to learn to feel at
home there too.”
B :”It’s just that we didn’t tell her her bedtime story last night.”
J: ”Don’t worry Bren.  I woke up last night and called over there.  Edward
answered and said she was already fast asleep, and he had already told her a
Lois and Ned story before she went to sleep.”
B: “That’s good, but maybe we should still make sure”

    Jax cut Brenda off by shaking his head as he leaned into a very seducing
kiss.

B: ”What are you doing?”
J: “Distracting you, is it working?”
B: “Definitely but”
J: “No, no, no, no buts.   Today is about you and me, only about you and me,
no one else.  Do you think you can handle that?”
B: “Most definitely especially if you keep kissing me like that.”
J: “I’ll do more then kiss.”
B: “REALLY, tell me more.”
J: “First I’ll bring you to the bedroom then”

    This time Jax was interrupted by Brenda’s kiss.  Between baby kisses
Brenda managed to get out her words.

B: “Don’t - talk - show - me.”

    Jax didn’t waste a single second before following Brenda’s instructions.
 True to Jax and Brenda from, they did do what Jax had in mind, several
times, but they never did make it to the bedroom.  They succumbed to their
love right there on the couch, then on the floor.  Neither minded that they
never made it to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hours later Jax and Brenda woke up reenergized.

B: “We should definitely do that more often, it’s been way too long.”
J: “What’s that?  Make love all morning or lie here enjoying eachother.”
B: “Both.  I’ve missed having time together where we can do what we want
where ever we want.”
J: “I’m sorry we never made it to the bedroom like I promised.”
B: “You have nothing to be sorry for, that was incredible  Jax.”
J: “You were amazing.”
B: ”I didn’t do anything by myself.  Jax promise me that we will always find
time to be alone like this.”
J: “We will sweetie.  We have every weekend alone together, we just have to
make the most out of them.”
B: “Sometimes I think we’re taking on too much by raising Brooke.  I love
her, I do but I’m not sure if we’re ready to raise a child.”
J: “Where did that come from Bren?  I know it’s been difficult at times but
she’s nothing but joy.”
B: “Jax I’ve loved that little girl since before she was born, and I always
looked forward to having her over and spending time with her but I never knew
that raising her would be so much work, and now it’s going to be even more
work.”
J: “What do you mean?”
B: “I think we’ve both realized it but neither of us wants to deal with it,
but,  we have to.”
J: “Deal with what?”
B: “We’ve been giving her everything she wants, we can’t keep doing that.
WE have to set some rules and make her follow them, we can’t keep letting her
rule this house.”
J: “I know that’s what we need”
B: “And what she needs, she needs it too Jax,  Kids need limits, Lo knew
that.  Lois knew exactly what to do all the time.  Having Brooke seemed to
give her more energy.”
J: ”Please don’t do this Bren”
B: “Do what?”
J: “Compare yourself to Lois.  She had Brooke from the time she was
conceived.  She did make raising her look effortless but that’s only because
she and Ned raised Brooke.  We only saw her every once in awhile, you can’t
expect to be the perfect care giver for Brooke, I know I’m not but we’ll
learn.  We will learn everything we need to learn for Brooke.”
B: ”I’m not so sure.  I know you will be perfect as always, but I don’t know
if I can do it Jax.”
J: “You can, and you will.  Brenda I need you to listen to me.  I can’t do
this alone, I need you,  If you need a break tell me and I’ll make sure you
get it but promise me that you will be here next to me no matter what.”
B : “I don’t know if I can.  I love you Jax, you know that.  I will always
love you, always!  I just don’t think it’s fair for me to help you raise
Brooke when you will have to worry about me as well as Brooke.  Jax I’m not
Lo, and no matter how hard I try to be, I can’t be.”
J: “Damn it Brenda!  Don't even think about doing this to me, not again.  I
can’t lose you Brenda, you know that.  You saw how miserable I was when we
were apart, you know how much I missed us.  Take off and go on long
vacations, or go off and scream your head off if you need to but don’t leave
me.”
B: “You’re so natural with her, she loves you so much, you’re perfect for
her, you’re what she needs, but I just feel like I have nothing else to give
her.”
J: “I feel like I don’t have anything left to give her at times too Bren,
but WE made a promise to Lois and Ned when we agreed to take custody of her.
Aside from you they were my best friends and I know they were yours.  We have
to honor that promise, and the only way we can do it is together Brenda.  I
know how difficult it is now, but in time it will get easier.”
B: ”What if it doesn’t.  What if I disappoint Lo and Ned?  And you?”
J: “You could never disappoint us. Never.  Promise me that you will never let
go of us.”
B: ”I promise, I will never let you out of my heart or my life.”
J: “Or your bed?”
B: “Or my bed.”
J: “Do you know what I was thinking we could do today?”
B: “Probably something unbelievably wonderful as always.”
J: “I was thinking that we could take one of my planes up and we could fly
the plane.”
B: “WE?”
J: “You do want more flying lessons don’t you?”
B: “YES!  I love flying.”
J: “Then we can get more flying hours in for you so that you can get your
pilots license,”
B: “And I can get that absolutely free feeling back that you know I get when
you hand the controls over to me.”

    Jax got an absolutely delicious smile on his face before he added in his
other thought about flying the plane.

J: “And if you feel like making this trip even more memorable I could put the
plane on auto pilot and we can join”

    Brenda’s face lit up as she finished the sentence for Jax.

B: “The mile high club.”

    Jax’s sexy grin told Brenda that that was exactly what he was thinking
about.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Click of a Mouse - Chapter 19
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B: “Jax this feels like heaven,”
J: “Flying will do that to you.”
B: NO you will do that to me.  and flying.”
J: “We really should do this more often.”
B: “Why is that?”
J: “Because you’re positively glowing.”
B: “You look pretty happy yourself.”
J: “That’s because I’m alone with my beautiful wife.”
B: “Hey do you think Brooke would like to come up in the air with us one day?
 I bet she would love it..”
J: “That’s something to think about but if she’s anything like her mother,
we definitely need to bring her up in one of the bigger planes.”
B: “Why?  Did Lo not like flying?”
J:  “She wasn’t the least bit phased by the bigger plane but when I took her
up in the little jet, lets just say I’ve never seen her like that before.”
B: “But she got over it right?”
J: “You know Lo always had a plan.”
B: “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, that was when she jumped out and Ned went and got her.
You know you had him going crazy wondering where she was.  I had to remind
him how much he trusts her  and that she always keeps her word.”
J: “She does indeed, just not always the way you expect.”

    After they reminisced about Lois and Ned, Brenda got noticeably quite.

J: “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.  I know you miss them, I miss them too.
  I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I never should of mentioned”
B:” Our best friends.  Jax it’s okay.  I do miss them a lot but it feels
good to remember them.  And you never need to apologize to me.”
J: “But this trip was supposed to take your mind off of everything but us”
B: “I was thinking about us, and what Lo would say if she were here.”
J: “Anything in particular you were thinking about?”
B: “Yeah, but I’ll tell you later.  Right now I want you to fulfill a
promise.”
J: “And which promise would that be?”
B: “Oh I don’t know, maybe this one about joining a club.”
J: “Could you refresh my memory, what exactly was that promise?”

    Jax instantly erupts in laughter as Brenda  tickles him.

B: “First you have to put this thing on auto pilot.”
J: “Are you sure that’s what you want?  You don't want me involved at all?”
B: ”Jax stop kidding around you know I’m talking about the plane.”
J: “Oh the plane.  It’s already on auto pilot.  What does my captain want
next.”
B: “I need you to put your lips right here.”
J: ”Right where?”
B: “Jaxxxxxxx.”
J: ”You mean you want this?”

    Jax quickly joins his lips with Brenda’s as he tickles her, making her
laugh against his lips.

J: ”That feels like heaven.”
B: “The kiss.”
J: “No your laughter, it’s been way too long.”
B: “We’ll have time to laugh later, right now we have something more
important to do.”
J: “We do.”
B: “Yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B: “I never thought joining a club could feel so good.”

    Brenda Looks at Jax who is reaching for something, but she can’t see what.

B: “Hey, you’re supposed to have your arms around me, not reaching over
there.”
J:  “I thought we might want to celebrate so”

    Jax quickly pours two glasses of champagne, one in which he hands to
Brenda.

J:: “To our most delicious initiation into a club that was truly meant for
us, and to our love which made our most wonderful initiation possible.”
B: “That’s a very beautiful toast.”
J: “It’s not officially a toast unless we clink our glasses.”
B: “Of course.”

    Brenda clicks her glass to Jax’s, and then as Jax drinks a sip, she sets
her glass on the floor.

J: “Hey you’re supposed to take a sip.”
B: “I know but, I can’t”
J: “Why not?”
B: “There’s something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.  The
reason why I was wondering what Lo would say.”
J: “You’re not sick are you?”
B: “No”
J: “Then what is it?”
B: “I think I might be pregnant.”

    Jax’s first reaction was to entice Brenda into a long joyous kiss.

J: “Honey that’s great, how long”
B: “I don’t know if I am Jax”
J: “But you think you are.”
B: “I’m late Jax, real late.  I thought it was just because I haven’t been
sleeping well, and because I’ve been so upset about Lo, Ned, Carmine, and
Gloria”
J: “And you haven’t been eating that much either.”
B: “Exactly.”
J:: “Have you had any morning sickness or”
B: “No.  I just don’t want to risk anything if I am.”
J: “Did you take one of those tests”
B: “NO.  I was scarred.”
J: “Of what?”
B: “I know you want me to be pregnant, I know how much you love kids and if I
am pregnant I will welcome this child and love him or her with all of my
heart but”
J: “You feel overwhelmed.  That’s what all the stuff about raising Brooke
being too much was about.”
B: “Yeah.  I love Brooke and I will love any baby we have.  You have to know
that I would never give up our child.  But that doesn’t stop me from being
scared that I can’t do this. That I can’t raise Brooke and have a baby too.”
J: “IF you are pregnant, I will be there with you through everything, you
know that.  You’re not alone in this.”
B: “I know but you’re so good with Brooke, you’re so good with kids, it’s
not as hard for you..”
J: “Sweetie, when you ‘re with Brooke, I’m in awe.  You make it look
effortless too, you just don’t realize it.”
B: “You want this baby don’t you, more the anything.”
J:: “I want you more then anything but I would be happy if you were carrying
our child.  I do realize that the timing isn’t perfect.  We are getting used
to having Brooke around, and she is a handful.  Of course I want a baby who
is part of you, and I will love our baby just as I love you and Brooke, no
matter when he or she is born.”
B: “Will you be disappointed if I’m not?”
J: ”Yeah.  A little, but I’ll also be relieved.”
B: “Relieved?”
J: “As much as I love the idea of having a baby with you, we’re still
learning how to take care of a child, a child who just lost her parents.”
B: “And with a new baby coming, our baby, she might feel left out.”
J: “What about you?  How will you feel.”
B: “The same as you.  I would be happy if I were carrying your child inside
of me, nothing could make me happier, but raising Brooke is overwhelming, I
really don’t think I’m ready to have another child, and I think it might be
hard for Brooke.”
J: “When we land, we’ll go and get one of those tests, or if you prefer we
can go to the doctor.”
B: “No, the tests are faster.”
J: “So we’ll take the test and  either way we’ll be okay with it.”
B: ”Yeah.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
    Brenda and Jax tried to concentrate on their time alone in the air but
after their talk, neither of them could concentrate on anything but the
possibility of having a baby together.  Thoughts ran rapid through each of
their heads, one second one of them would be convinced that a baby was
exactly what they needed, then the next second, thoughts of it being the
wrong time, and how the baby would effect Brooke (which both thought would be
negative) went running through their heads.
    As soon as they left the airport they went straight to a local store and
bought every kind of pregnancy test they could find.  They then rushed home
to the cottage so that they could soon find out the results.

B: ”SO this is it. I take this test and we find out.”
J: “Maybe you should take two just incase one’s wrong.”
B: “What if one’s wrong, then we won’t know which one to believe.  I’ll
take three.”
J: “Is there anything I can do for you.”

    Brenda started to shake her head but then she stopped.

B: “It’s a strange request but I think I would be more comfortable if”
J: “I go in there with you.”
B: “Yeah, you don’t have to if it’ll make you uncomfortable.”
J: “I’ll be there, right by your side. If you want I’ll hold your hand the
whole time.”
B: “That might make it difficult to take the tests.”
J: “You’re right.”
B: “Of course I am.”
J: “Ready?”
B: “Yeah.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B: “Are you sure it’s been enough time?”
J: “Yes.”
B: “Are you sure we read the instructions right?”
J: “Yeah, they’re not complicated Bren.”
B: “Are you sure we want to know right now?”
J: “That’s not my decision, are you sure you’re ready to know?”
B: “It’s your decision too.”
J: “I know, but I’ll wait if that’s what you need.”
B: “No, I want to know.”
J: “Okay, lets go see.”

    Brenda and Jax both stayed silent as they walked hand in hand back to the
bathroom to see if they were going to have a baby or not.  Instinctively
Brenda and Jax both closed their eyes as soon as they got in viewing range of
the tests.  When they opened their eyes, they silently looked at the test
results and then walked silently into the bedroom, where Brenda sat on Jax’s
lap without a word passing between them.  Jax’s arms instinctively snaked
around Brenda’s body as they sat there in silence, that is until Brenda broke
it.

B: “Jax?”
J: “Yeah.”
B: “Are you crying?”
J: “A little, are you?”
B: “A little.  Jax?  Why are we so sad when we both agreed this would be
best.”
J: ”I don’t know. I guess because the possibility made us hope, and it
always hurts to have one of your hopes taken away, even if it was a small
hope.”
B: “Or something you didn’t know you wanted until you found out you might
get it.”
J: “That too. I think although we both agreed the timing was bad, we both
wanted a baby anyway.”
B: “We’ll be okay right?”
J: “Of course we will.  Now we know that we both want a baby, so we can try
and have one, whenever we’re ready.”
B: “Jax I don’t think I’m ready right now.  I do want to have your baby but
I think I want to wait, I want us to keep using protection until we’re  sure
that we’re ready for another child.”
J: “I think that’s very smart.”
B: “ Are you mad.”
J: “NO I’m not mad.  What could I possibly be mad about?”
B: “I made you hope and then I crushed them and now I told you that I want to
wait .”
J: “We both hoped.  I was disappointed but so were you, we hoped and had
those hopes dashed together, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  If we get
pregnant I want to know about it from the very beginning, I don't want you
too scarred to tell me.  IF you think you’re pregnant, please just tell me
Bren.  I don’t want you going through any of it alone.  Tell me and I’ll be
there with you.  I would be disappointed if you thought you were pregnant and
didn’t tell me. And as for waiting, I want to wait too.  But that doesn’t
mean we’re not going to be sad for awhile. If you want I can call Edward and
ask him to keep Brooke for a bit longer this week.”
B: “I love you for suggesting it but we can’t.  Brooke has a doctor’s
appointment Sunday evening,”
J: “Was she sick?”
B: “No, Lo scheduled the appointment. It’s a check up, that’s all. But Lo
was always committed to making every appointment.”
J: “Are we taking her?”
B: “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I know I should have told
you earlier but with thinking I was pregnant and all, it slipped my mind
until just now when you mentioned her.”
J: “Of course I want to go.”
B: “Do you mind if we cancel our plans for tomorrow and stay home until it’s
time to get Brooke?”
J: “Not at all, I was going to suggest the same thing.  Is there anything I
can do for you?  Are you hungry or”
B: “No, I don’t need you to get me anything, all I need is you.  Will you
hold me, just for awhile.”
J: “That’s all you want?”
B:” Yeah, all I need is to feel your arms around me.”
J: “Come here.”

    As Brenda moved into the curves of Jax’s body, he guided her down onto
the bed so that they were laying together like two puzzle pieces that fit
perfectly together.  Brenda automatically grabbed Jax’s hands, pulling his
arms tighter around her waste as they laid there in silent comfort.  Before
long, both Jax and Brenda were fast asleep from their long, emotional day.
Neither Jax nor Brenda woke up that night, even though it was quite cold
outside and aside from their clothes that they still had on there was nothing
covering them but their love.