Chapter Fourteen

 

 

                Brenda couldn’t stand standing there and wringing her hands, waiting for Jax to come back.  She knew she shouldn’t leave, but she would not sit here and wait, so she took a look at the Denise’s employment card that now sat on the counter and mentally traced the quickest route to his workplace, a construction site on the edge of town.  She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her coat, heading out the door.

                Jax had pealed out of the parking lot, Brenda had no hope of following him, and she had no intention of being pulled over by the police, so she drove five miles above the speed limit and prayed she’d get there in time.

               

 

                At Jax’s house, Denise laid down on the couch, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.  She was so tired, suddenly.  Carly was using the phone, trying to call Brenda, she guessed.

                “Hmm,” Carly said, hanging up.  “There was no answer.  I don’t know what is going on, but Brenda’s not picking up at the Java House.”

                “Well she’s probably talking to Jax,” Denise said wearily. “Don’t worry about it.”  Carly nodded.

                “Well I’m going to go back to work now, if you’re sure that you’ll be all right.”

                “I’m not too sure of that, but I promise not to do myself in or anything like that,” Denise said, falling to sleep.

                “That’s all I ask,” Carly said, smiling slightly and kissing Denise on the forehead. “I’ll see you later,” she said. “Hang in there.”

 

                When Brenda found her way to the construction site, she had to park on the other side of the street to avoid being caught in the mud.  She spotted Jax’s vehicle, but she didn’t see him anywhere.  Then she noticed a crowd gathering in the farthest corner of the site.   She tried to strategically pick her way across the land without stepping in too much mud.  As she got closer, she could hear low whistling and small urgings to “get up, man.”  Then she heard the low thud of punches being thrown and landed.  She silently hoped that Jax wasn’t on the receiving end.  He wasn’t.

                Brenda gasped when she got to the front of the crowd, as hard as it was to get between the big men.  She couldn’t believe her eyes, but she hadn’t really expected any less.  Jax was beating the tar out of Martin.  She looked up at some of the men standing nearby, nursing aching jaws and fat lips.  She guessed that they must have intervened in the fight.  Jax was landing punches left and right, and Brenda knew that Martin was down for the count when he sputtered blood and fell to his knees.  Jax took the opportunity then to kick Martin, forcing him to double over and fall to his knees. 

                Jax picked him up by the collar and spoke in deadly tones.

                “I don’t know what your problem is, man, but the next time you put your hands on a woman, especially Denise, you’ll have me to answer to, get it?”

                “What’s your deal, anyway?” Martin choked out, unable to hide his fear. “Is she sleeping with you, too or something?”  Jax swore out loud and let another blow land.  Brenda cringed as she heard the sound of breaking bone. Jax had just broken his nose, and she knew it.  Just then, Brenda heard a yelling coming somewhere from far off. She looked above a few shoulders and saw the foreman struggling to make his way over to the crowd as quickly as possible.

                “Jax!” she screamed, bringing him back to reality.  “Let’s go!” she called, “the foreman’s coming!”  Jax looked past her, and didn’t need to be told twice.

                “I meant what I said, Martin,” Jax said, pointing a deadly finger. “You get the hell out of Port Charles and don’t show your face around here again, you got it? And don’t try to contact Denise.  She’ll be under police protection, and trust me, you’re going to want some protection if I get wind of your @ss messing with her or anyone else I care about.”

                Brenda was tugging on Jax’s arm now, trying as hard as she could to get him to come on.  As the foreman approached in one direction, Jax and Brenda hurried away in another.  “You shouldn’t have come,” Jax said, rubbing the knuckles on his right hand against the palm of his left.

                “Oh, and let you get arrested?” Brenda asked incredulously, walking straight ahead.  “The foreman was coming Jax, and besides, I think you more than made your point.   I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about Martin anymore,” Brenda added.  Jax stopped short.

                Brenda had been holding his hand, so she noticed immediately when he let go.  She turned around and stared back at him.  Her heart immediately went out to him.  He was bleeding a little from the corner of his mouth, otherwise, he had no injuries, but he now for some reason, looked like a hurt little boy.  She angled her head to the side and waited for him to speak.

                “You don’t think I was wrong, do you?” Jax asked, looking at Brenda. “I mean, for what I did to Martin?”

                “No,” Brenda said, after pausing briefly. “I only wish I was as big as you are, so I could do that to him myself.  But the police won’t appreciate you doing this, and neither does that foreman, so come on, let’s go before they get our tag numbers.”  Jax nodded and continued towards his car.  “Are you okay to drive?” Brenda asked.  Jax nodded again, and she got into her car, and followed him back to Java House.

               

 

                “Are you still angry with me?” Jax asked when he and Brenda made it back to the Java House.  He had tried to talk to her in the parking lot moments before, but she had been silent, and she held a stony gaze when looking at him.  He knew he wasn’t out of the dog house yet.

                “I’m not angry with you Jax,” Brenda said. “Just disappointed.”

                “But why?” Jax asked.  Carly heard voices and came out from the back, already preparing to open for customers.

                “There are a few customers milling around in the parking lot,” Carly said, “so if it’s okay with you Brenda, I thought we’d open up.”

                “Yeah, yeah whatever,” Brenda said, moving towards the back.  “Did Denise settle all right?”

                “She’s fine,” Carly confirmed.  “A little shaken up, but she’s fine.  What the hell happened to you?” she asked upon getting a closer look at Jax.

                “Oh, he paid Martin a visit,” Brenda said, coming back inside the sitting area and opening the locks on the doors.  She pasted on a pleasant smile and murmured apologies as the usual flow of customers rolled in.  Jax waited patiently until the last one was inside and then ushered Brenda out the front door and into the parking lot.

                “I thought we settled this,” Jax said as Brenda turned her back to him.

                “I’m not angry with you, just worried, Jax. You scared me to death, and I thought about it more once I got into the car.”

                “You’re being totally unreasonable,” Jax said, taking her by the shoulders and making her face him.

                “Oh, I’m being unreasonable?!” Brenda asked, raising her voice shrilly.  By now a few customers in the parking lot were staring at them, including a few inside.

                “Yes you are. I did what any man would.”

                “You could have gotten yourself killed, or seriously hurt,” Brenda said. “Suppose all those guys had decided to take you on--”

                “Some of them did--” he argued

                “It wouldn’t have been a fair fight,” Brenda urged. “Oh, you’re not listening to me!” She said in disgust. “Jasper, don’t you understand that if you had gotten hurt I would have--I wouldn’t have been able to go on,” she said quietly.

                “Oh, love,” he said, pulling her into his arms and resting his head on top of hers. “Don’t you know I’ll never leave you? Never. No matter what happens.  I can hold my own in a fight, and besides, I knew I had you backing me up the whole time.”  Brenda looked up at him and sighed.

                “You are a sweet talker, aren’t you?” She asked.

                “Am I forgiven?” Jax asked, pouting in the cutest way.

                “You always get your way,” she said, shaking her head and lacing her arms around his neck.

                “Not always, but we can amend that tonight,” he said, nibbling on her neck and making her giggle.  “Meet me at your place?” he asked softly.

                “We’ll finish what we started?” Brenda asked.  “Mm-Hmm,” she nodded, and then lifted his face to kiss it, passionately.  They were interrupted then, by the sound of resounding applause, led of course, by a beaming Carly.  Brenda suddenly took a bow and then began to giggle.  Jax bowed as well and then held his hands out to Brenda, indicating more applause and then began to cheer for her as well.  He then picked her up, swung her around, and lowered her to the ground for another tantalizing kiss.

 

                Later that night, Brenda stood in her kitchen, ordering pizza.  It was ridiculously late, but Jax had insisted on bringing the girls over and letting Denise have his house to herself.  She was tired, but she was glad that Jax was there.  It had been a mad house at the Java House that night, especially without Jax.  Carly had brought along a friend, Michelle something, to help out for the evening.

                She hung up the phone as she heard Jax coming down the steps. He smiled at her the moment he saw her.

                “Hey,” he said, coming towards her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

                “Hey yourself.  Are the girls still hungry?”

                “Nah,” Jax said, his hands moving dangerously low to cup her backside.

“Jasmine went to sleep hours ago, and Victoria, well try as she might, can never stay up too late.”

                “That’s good,” Brenda said, “because they stopped delivering 45 minutes ago.”

                “We can go pick it up if you’re hungry,” Jax said.

                “No, I just wanted to make sure you guys were all fed.”             

                “Well I’m still hungry,” Jax said, “but not for pizza.”

                “Oh really?” Brenda asked, laughing brightly and allowing him to pick her up.

 

‘So this is who I am, and this is all I know.

And I must choose to live,

for all that I can give.

A spark that makes the power grow.

And I will stand for my dream if I can.

Symbol of my faith in who I am.

But you are my only,

And I must follow on the road that lies ahead.

And I won’t let my heart control my head.

But you are my only.’

 

                He carried her over to the couch, and sat down with a thud.  He captured her lips again before she could say anything else.  Her hands moved quickly to unbutton his shirt and slip it slowly, achingly off his shoulders.  She kissed his chest and stomach until she got to his belt buckle, which she loosened quickly.  “I want you so much,” she whispered, deepening the kiss and tangling her tongue with his.  His hands sank into her dark tresses, and angled her head back slightly, allowing him to delve even deeper into her mouth.

 

‘And we don’t say goodbye.

We don’t say goodbye.

And I know what I’ve got to be.

Immortality.

I make my journey through eternity.

I keep the memory of you and me, inside

Fulfill your destiny,

Is there within the child.

My storm will never end.

My fate is on the wind.

The king of hearts, the joker’s wild.

We don’t say goodbye,

We don’t say goodbye.

I’ll make them all remember me.’

 

                Jax and pulled Brenda’s shirt off and was about to free her of her bra as well, when they both heard the pitter patter of little feet.  Jax looked up, drunk with passion, and saw none other than his precious little girl, Victoria. Her gold ringlets were framing her, stopping at her waist.  She had her pajamas on and dragged a teddy bear behind her.

                “Daddy,” she said, “I want a drink of water, and Jody had a bad dream. He needs you.”  She didn’t appear to be fazed at all at the scene before her.

 

‘Cause I have found a dream that must come true.
Every ounce of me must see it through.

But you are my only.

I’m sorry, I don’t have a role for love to play.

Hand over my heart, I’ll find my way.

I will make them give to me, yeah.’

 

                “Sure, princess,” Jax said, holding on to Brenda, whose back was turned to Victoria.  “Go on back to bed, I’ll bring it to you.”  Victoria nodded and retreated up the stairs.  When she was gone, both Brenda and Jax let out hearty laughs.

                “Oh my God,” Brenda said, placing her hand over her heart.  “When I heard her voice, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

                “Me too,” Jax said breathlessly.  He leaned back on the couch, playing with Brenda’s hair.  “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out, but I

know that we can’t--”

                “We can’t go through with this tonight,” Brenda finished. “Much as I’d

like to.”  Jax sat up and kissed her again, so thoroughly and passionately, for

a moment they both forgot about Victoria’s request.

                “I’ll be right back,” Jax said, kissing her once more. 

                “Okay,” Brenda nodded, looking at her watch.  “It’s midnight you know,” she said, getting up and putting her shirt back on, almost regretfully.

                “So?” Jax said, pouring the water for his daughter.

                “So happy Thanksgiving, that’s all,” Brenda shrugged.  Jax smiled and caressed her cheek.

                “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Brenda.”

 

Immortality.

There is a vision and a fire in me.

I keep the memory of you and me, inside.

And we don’t say goodbye.

We don’t say goodbye.

With all my love for you,

And what else we may do,

We don’t say goodbye.’

 

                Brenda swayed to the music a bit while waiting for Jax to come back downstairs.  He stood on the stairs, staring at her, utterly mesmerized by her beauty.  Of course she was being totally uninhibited now, thinking that he wasn’t watching her.  She was singing along for all she was worth with Celine Dion.  As off key as she was, Jax had to admit that he loved it.  He clapped for her and grabbed her into his arms before she could shrink away in embarrassment.

                “None of that now,” he said chuckling at her.  She looked up at him, her face bright red.

                “Don’t laugh at me,” she said, laughing herself.

                “Never,” he said.  He kissed her lips softly, a sweet, innocent, undemanding kiss.  “We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk before now,” Jax said.  He left the option to continue the conversation up to her.

                “Well I haven’t really had much time,” she said, as they continued to dance around the living room.  “Cooking for 10 people and all.”  Jax looked around the room.

                “It is going to be a madhouse here,” he said.  “Are you sure you don’t want to do this at my place?”

                “Nope,” Brenda said.  “I just want to cook for you and your parents and Denise and Carly and whoever she brings, and our kids, and Lois--I want tomorrow to be a good day for everyone.”

                “Oh, I know it will be,” Jax said. “But don’t change the subject, Brenda. How do you--how do you feel about things?”     

                “Well I am excited,” Brenda said softly. “A little intimidated, nervous, scared as hell, but you could also color me hopeful and lustful, too,” she grinned.        

                “Well that makes two of us,” Jax said as he nibbled on her earlobe gently......

 

                The next morning Brenda’s house was ablaze with activity.  The whole house smelled incredible, Jax thought, coming downstairs with Jasmine in his arms.  She was dressed in overalls, her dark hair curling at the ends at the base of her neck, no matter how long Jax brushed it.  Brenda was in the kitchen, in the middle of everything, as she always was.   Jax stepped over Jody and Victoria as they played on the living room floor, arguing over which movie to watch that had been rented.  In the room across the hall, Jax could see his father was watching a football game in silence.

                “How’s it going, Dad?” Jax asked, putting Jasmine in her grandfather’s lap.

                “It’s going well son,” John Jacks said, shaking his son’s hand. “This is an excellent game, the women are all in the kitchen, where they should be, but don’t let your mother hear me say that.  All’s well with you, son?” John asked.  Jax looked down and blushed very slightly.  “Well, well,” John said gruffly, “it looks as though Cupid’s arrow has struck my son.   It’s Brenda, no doubt.”

                “No doubt,” Jax said, smiling as he envisioned Brenda smiling in his mind.

                “I’m so happy for you son.  Your mother and I were worried that you’d never move on from Marian, but now that we’ve got Brenda in your heart, let’s hope you’ve got the sense to hold on to her.”

                “Oh I do, Dad, don’t worry,” Jax said.  “I have absolutely no intention of letting her go.”

                “That’s a good man,” John said.  “Now get out of here and let a poor old man spend some time with his granddaughter.  I’m teaching Jasmine the elements of the game.  Go in there and make yourself useful before your mother comes looking for me.”

                “John Jacks!” Lady Jane called.  “Stop staring at that television and make yourself useful.”  John began to grumble and started to get up.

                “No don’t worry about it,” Jax said, “I’ll see to whatever it is.”  John nodded his thanks and continued watching the game, bouncing Jasmine on his knee.  Jax looked back once more as he almost stumbled on one of Jody’s firetrucks.  Jody and Victoria were both making their way towards John, ready to hear tales of his latest adventures.

                Jax went into the kitchen and was amazed as always that so many women could work in one kitchen together.  Denise and his sister, Lois, were at the kitchen table, peeling vegetables and having a lively conversation.  Jax was glad to see a smile on her face.  Precious little had been said about her face, which was already beginning to heal.  Though when Jax told John, he’d wanted the throttle the man himself.

                “Hey there little brother,” Lois said as Jax kissed her on the cheek.  “Care to help with these peas?”

                “Oh no,” Jax said, shrinking away dramatically.  “I don’t do vegetables.”

                “Do you do anything?” Lois asked, laughing, “besides blow hot air?”

                “I do you ladies’ bidding,” Jax said, bowing gracefully.  Then he began to rub his hands together in search of the latest confection that had been taken out of the oven.  His eyes settled on a cheesecake Denise had made.

                “Don’t even think about it,” she said, never once taking her eyes off the peas she was shelling.  Jax looked defeated and then came over to give Brenda a gentle hug and a sweet kiss on her temple.  She smiled but then pushed him away.

                “Jax, we have tons to do still.  The turkey will be done in an hour, but I need more nutmeg, and I need more eggs, will you please run to the store and get them for me?” 

                “Sure,” Jax said, attempting to stick his finger into a pumpkin pie when his mother and Brenda weren’t looking.

                “Stop it, Jasper,” both women said at the same time.  He looked at them both incredulously before laughing and saying,

                “All right, all right.  Is there anything else you need, love?” he asked, looking at Brenda.  She looked up at him just then, reading his mind.  She untied her apron and then put down the dish towel she had in her hands.

                “OH,” the ladies all said as Brenda pushed Jax out of the kitchen and into the now empty living room.

                “Well, Mom,” Lois said, continuing to shell her peas, “it looks like you’re going to be a grandmother again, very soon.”  They all began to laugh.  On the other side of the door, Brenda was kissing Jax goodbye, in a kiss that curled his toes.

                “I’ll just be right back,” Jax said, kissing her once more.

                “Okay,” she said, still holding his hand and smiling up at him.  Just then, the door bell rang and the timer on the oven went off as well.  “Oh,” Brenda said, “Get the door for me, will you, Jax?  I’ve got to check on the turkey.  And will you send whoever it is away?  We’re not expecting anyone.”

                “Sure thing,” Jax said, his eyes following Brenda’s hips as she went back into the kitchen.

                Jax turned and went to the door and opened it.  He was surprised, but not at the guest, at his own memory.  He had completely forgotten.

                “Hello there,” Gwyneth said, holding out a pecan pie. “I’m not too early, am I?”

***********************************************************************************

Chapter 15

                “No!” Jax said.  Gwyneth looked a little taken a back, so Jax put a gentle hand on her shoulder, and pushed her further backwards and closed the front door behind him.  “I mean, Gwyneth, you see, the thing is--oh bloody hell, I forgot to tell Brenda that I invited you for Thanksgiving.  You know it was all that time ago, plans were tentative, I just--”

                “Never imagined I’d take you up on it?” Gwyneth asked.  “Well that’s all right.  You can take the pie in, I’m sure there’s a restaurant somewhere in town that’s open--”

                “Nonsense,” a voice said behind Jax.  He turned to see Brenda’s smiling face.  He opened his mouth to speak, but she put a hand on his shoulder to silence him.  “We’d love to have you,” she said, reaching out for the pie.

                “Oh well if you’re sure it’s all right,” Gwyneth said.

                “Of course it is,” Brenda assured her.  “Come in, meet our family.”  Gwyneth went in first, and Brenda gave Jax a look that told him to skip the apologies and hurry back with her eggs and nutmeg.

                “Sorry,” he said anyway, and kissed her before leaving.  That certainly put a smile on her face, so she decided to forgive him and show him how much she cared later on.

                Inside, the house was bustling with activity.  Gwyneth helped in the kitchen and was fast friends with everyone.  Victoria beamed as Gwyneth continued to brag on what an excellent student she was.  Carly joined them later, as well as Jason.  No one was surprised to see him as Carly’s guest.  About an hour later everything was almost ready.  Brenda looked around for the eggs and nutmeg and realized that Jax hadn’t brought them back yet.

                “That’s odd,” Lady Jane said, turning around from the sink and wiping her hands on her apron.  “Where could he be?”

                “He probably just got distracted,” Gwyneth offered, “buying up every spice on the rack in the store. Besides, this is Thanksgiving, there must be terribly long lines.”  Brenda couldn’t quite shake a nagging feeling that was coming over her, but Gwyneth’s rationalizations, as well as her British accent, oddly comforted Brenda.  But a half an hour later, Brenda was beginning to get worried.

                “Where could he be?” Brenda asked, pacing the kitchen.  Jane was sitting at the table trying to hide her own worries for Brenda’s sake.

                “He’s got his cell phone, doesn’t he?” Jason asked.  He was seated at the kitchen table as well, an arm draped across the back of Carly’s chair.

                “Yeah,” Brenda said, stopping to stand still.  “But he would have called if he was going to be late, wouldn’t he?  Of course he would, Jax always calls.”

                “Well why don’t you just call him,” Carly suggested.  Brenda looked at her, chewing on her lower lip.  Part of Brenda wanted to call Jax and find out what was going on immediately, another part of her wanted to remain in the dark as long as possible, in case the worst had actually happened--but the worst hadn’t happened, right?  Fate wouldn’t do that to her again.  Life wasn’t that cruel, was it?

                Brenda couldn’t stand the waiting any longer, so she sighed and relented.

                “You’re right,” she said to Carly.  “I should just call him and find out what the hold up is.”  Everyone seemed to be a little more relieved because Brenda was easing up.  “I’m just going to go upstairs and call on my private line,” she said, pointing awkwardly upstairs, “you know, in case he calls down here or something, okay?”  Everyone nodded, and Brenda started up the stairs, an uneasy feeling growing in her stomach.  She ran into Victoria coming down the stairs.

                “What’s the matter, mommy?” Victoria asked, reading Brenda’s expression, which she had held as calm before leaving the kitchen, but know Brenda’s face was twisting up in pain, and she was trying her hardest not to cry.  She wished Victoria had just gone past her, because she wasn’t sure she had enough strength to even speak to her.

                “Nothing’s the matter, baby,” Brenda said, putting a hand on the top of her head and continuing up the stairs.  “Why don’t you go into the kitchen and see if your grandma and Ms. Stonecypher need any more help, okay?”  Victoria stood on the stairs, watching Brenda go up, but then shrugged her shoulders and proceeded into the kitchen.    

                When Brenda reached her bedroom, she closed the door and sank down to the floor.  “This is not happening,” she whispered, not even wanting to hear her voice out loud.  “Why am I doing this to myself? I should just call him.”  She sat on the floor a few moments longer, and then thrust herself upward quickly, and attacked her phone, dialing his cell phone number as quickly as she could.  She held the phone to her ear with a shaky hand, her breathing becoming labored.  It seemed like 1,000 years before Jax picked up his cell phone.

                “Jax here,” he said.

                “Jax!” she said, the air rushing out of her lungs and making her knees grow weak.  She sat down on her bed, hugging a pillow close to her body.

                “Brenda? What’s wrong?”

                “Nothing,” Brenda said, moving her hand in the air. “Nothing--not now.”  She didn’t have to say anything else.  Jax knew immediately and cursed under his breath.  Not low enough, however, for Brenda to avoid hearing him.  “No, no, don’t do that, Jax.  It’s okay now.  It was my own fault, I mean, I should have known that you--”

                “Would be enough of an @ss to forget to let you know where I am when something that should take twenty minutes takes over an hour?  Brenda I am so sorry, love.”

                “That’s okay,” Brenda smiled, just enjoying  listening to his voice. “So where are you?”

                “Well I’m still at the grocery store if you can believe it,” Jax said, looking around.  “You wouldn’t believe how many people are up here--the lines are backing up into the shopping aisles, and this is the third store I had to go to--the first two, get this, completely out of nutmeg.  But it’s okay. Though I am in the express lane, and there is a woman in front of me with a novel of coupons and groceries well over her 10 item limit, I should be home in a fifteen minutes.”

                “Great,” Brenda said.  “I can’t wait to see you.”           

                “I know, and I can’t wait to see you,” Jax said, “and Brenda--I’m not Daniel, all right?  We’re going to be just fine, you and me.  We have all the time in the world, and I’m going to be back before you have time to miss me.”

                “You better be,” Brenda said. “But be careful, because it looks a little stormy out, and the streets are going to be slick.”

                “Yes ma’am,” Jax said. “Brenda, don’t worry so much, all right love. It’s my turn, so I’m going to go.”

                “Okay,” Brenda said softly, not quite wanting to end the conversation. Jax was just about to hang up, when he heard Brenda’s voice.  “Honey?”

                “Yes, love?”

                “Did you remember the eggs?”  She heard Jax let another curse fly, and she giggled to herself.

                “Gotta go, babe,” Jax said, before blushing and apologizing to the ladies standing around him.  Brenda hung up the phone, her heart feeling 1,000 pounds lighter.  She came down the stairs beaming.

                “I just talked to him,” she said, breezing into the kitchen. “He’s fine, he had to go to three stores, but he was in line when I hung up, so he’ll be here soon!”  Brenda did nothing to try and hide her exuberance.  Carly sprang up and gave her an encouraging hug, Denise squeezed her hand as she walked by.  Lady Jane however, just got up and gave Brenda a weak smile, turning her attentions back to the turkey.  Brenda angled her head to the side and sighed.

                “What’s wrong, Ma?” Lois asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You know how my brother is.  He--”

                “I know,” Lady Jane said, giving Lois’ hand a pat.  “It’s just the mother’s way, you know, to always worry about her children.”  Lois gave Brenda a look, and Brenda spoke up softly.

                “I think this is my fault,” she said, coming to stand beside Lady Jane. “I shouldn’t have gotten everyone so upset. I overreacted, I was thinking of Daniel and being totally unreasonable.  You shouldn’t have worried yourself so.  He’s fine, I just talked to him.  Forgetful, but fine.”  Lady Jane smiled.

                “You’re right of course,” Gwyneth offered.  “Why don’t we begin to set the table?  Victoria and I have already taken care of the plates.”  Brenda nodded.

                “I think that’s a great idea.  By the time Jax gets back, there’ll only be a little bit left to do, and we can eat.”

                “Finally,” Denise said.  “I can’t wait to taste my cheesecake--I already know that it’s better than anything you people can put together.”  Denise began to laugh at her own joke as everyone in the room did so as well.  Brenda smiled, glad to see that some of Denise’s spirits were returning....

 

                When Jax came out of the grocery store, he grabbed a newspaper to put over his head as he sprinted to his car.  He climbed inside and gently placed the groceries on the passenger seat, remembering the eggs.  The rain was coming down pretty hard, but Jax could still see just fine and he was on the highway in moments.  He began to slow for a red light and shuddered as the car hydroplaned for a moment.  He regained control quickly, and otherwise, he wouldn’t have even noticed, but he could still hear the worry on Brenda’s voice, and he’d do anything to take that worry out of her heart. He wanted to get home to his family as soon as possible.  He drove on, but he noticed that someone behind him was tailing him ridiculously.  He changed lanes, but so did the other person.

                “What on earth,” Jax mumbled, changing lanes once again, trying to allow this person to pass him.  He couldn’t see very well, but he could tell that the car behind him was as big as his SUV or bigger.  Jax kept his eyes on the road, but he occasionally looked back to see if the person was still behind him--they were.  There was almost no one out on the road, and the person had ample space to move beyond Jax if Jax wasn’t going fast enough.  Jax was doing a few miles under the speed limit, just to be safe, but he decided  to speed up and get out of the way of whomever this was following him so closely.  As he accelerated, so did the person behind him.  Jax looked back once again, and this time the person behind him took the opportunity to flash their high beams right into Jax’s eyes. 

                He tore his eyes away from the rearview mirror and tried to focus back on the road. If he hadn’t been going so fast, and if it hadn’t been raining, and if he had his full vision, he would have seen the sign that read “change lanes: road construction ahead.”  Jax never saw any sign though, and plowed straight ahead, resulting in a head on collision.  Jax tried to steer the car in another direction, as the schreeching of the tires, and the crunching of the windshield echoed in his ears.  The slickness of the road, and the speed at which he had been going were no match for the greatest of driving skills.  The last thing Jax remembered before blacking out was hearing Brenda’s voice, “Honey, did you remember the eggs?”

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Chapter 16

                Brenda and everyone else were standing around the table, admiring what a nice job Gwyneth and Victoria had done.  Lady Jane had brought the table cloth with her and Brenda looked around, realizing that Lady Jane was still in the kitchen.  Just as she put her hand on the door to go in, her heart gave a great lurch.  She almost doubled over.  Jason rushed to her.

 

“Day after day, I must face a world of strangers,

Where I don’t belong.

I’m not that strong.

It’s nice to know that there’s someone I can turn to.

Who will always care.

You’re always there.

When there’s no getting over that rainbow,

When my smallest of dreams won’t come true.

I can take all the madness the world has to give,

but I won’t last a day without you.”

 

                “Are you okay, Brenda?”  She put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself and then looked at everyone bashfully. 
                “Yeah, I think--I don’t know--” before Brenda could articulate the strange feeling she was having, she heard a loud crashing coming from the kitchen.  Brenda rushed in and the others crowded the door behind her.  “Lady Jane? Are you all right?”  Lady Jane was kneeling on the kitchen floor, struggling to clean up the glass from a plate she had just broken.

                “Oh, Brenda, yes love, I’m just fine, but I’m afraid I just broke your plate.  I’m so sorry, I’ll find you another--”

                “Lady Jane, please,” Brenda said, kneeling beside her on the floor, “it’s just a pie plate.  What made you drop it?”  Lady Jane just looked up at Brenda, her expression giving away her thoughts.  For a split second, Brenda was ready to crumble right there on the floor, but she turned around and glanced at Victoria, oblivious to what was going on, and she resolved to handle this rationally and calmly.  “All right,” Brenda said, getting to her knees.  “What time is it?”

                “It’s almost 4:00,” Denise said.

                “Well, Jax should have been back by now.”

                “So what are you going to do?” Carly asked.

                “I’m going to go look for him,” Brenda said, getting her rain coat from the closet.

                “Can I go, mommy?” Jody asked, coming into the living room in John’s arms.

                “No, baby,” Brenda said, rubbing the side of his face and giving him a quick kiss.  “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to go and see what’s keeping your daddy, all right?”

                “All right, mama,” Jody said, already thinking about something else, and finding more interest in the television than the grownups in the room.

                “What’s happened?” John asked, the gruffness on his voice, never once hinting at worry.

                “Nothing Dad,” Lois said, putting an arm around John’s shoulders. “Brenda’s just going to go out and see what happened to Jax.  He’s real late, ya know?”  John looked around at all their faces, and then nodded.

                “Let me go with you,” John said, handing Jody to Lois.  Brenda nodded and reached for his hand.

                “No,” Lady Jane said, untying her apron strings.  “I want to go.  John, you stay here.”

                “All three of us will go,” John said, holding out an arm for Lady Jane.  Brenda was already out of the door and half way into the car.

                “You make sure and call us, now,” Denise yelled after them, her voice drowned out by the storm.  Brenda honked the horn in reply and pulled out of the driveway.

 

“So many times, when the city seems to be

without a friendly face,

the lonely place.

It’s nice to know that you’ll be there if I need you,

And you’ll always smile.

It’s all worthwhile.”

 

                Jax woke up when he felt a little blood dribbling down into his eye.  He closed it and wiped the offensive liquid from his forehead.  He reached up and touched his forehead tentatively.  The cut didn’t feel too bad.  His muscles ached, and he struggled to sit up.  It was difficult, since the car was on its side.

                “Help!” he shouted.  Moving his face just an inch, water began to pour down on him.  He moved his head again, out of the rain.  The windows were broken and the windshield was half gone.  He tried to move again, and felt the car slide a bit.  He didn’t quite realize where he was until just then--a ravine or ditch of some kind.  “Help!” he shouted again.  No one was coming for him, he realized.  No one probably knew of his accident at all except who ever it was that had been following him. He had a pretty good idea, but he was going to find out for sure as soon as he got out of this particular jam.  Jax struggled again to try and get up, and then he realized that he couldn’t do this slowly.  He was going to have to do this as quickly as possible.  “The old college try, isn’t that what they say, mate?” he asked himself, gathering the strength to try and pull himself out of the window. 

                He closed his eyes and put his hands on the window.  “Ow, damn it!” Jax yelled, pulling his hands back.  A sharp pain shot through his back, as well as shards of glass cutting into his skin.  He cursed again under his breath and looked at his hands.  He laid back down heavily, and felt the car slide several more feet into the water.  He let out a gasp then as a rush of cold water spilled into the cabin of his car, freezing him.  He almost lost consciousness then and there, but he was not out of the game yet.  He thought of Victoria, Jasmine, Brenda, Lady Jane, Lois, Denise, Carly, all the women in his life that he wouldn’t leave.  They all insisted that as women they were fine on their own, but he still enjoyed being their “white knight.”  He reached into the glove compartment, remembering that Brenda’s scarf was inside. He ripped it in half and wrapped it around both of his hands.  Then he used his foot to kick the remaining glass out of the window.  “On three,” he said to himself, taking a deep breath.  “One,” he reached up to put his hands on the glass, “two,” he steadied himself, “three!” He came barreling through the window, using the steering wheel, the door, anything he could to push himself as far from the car as possible.  He landed half on land, half in the water, and his back was not letting him go any further.  He reached around to touch his back and realized he was bleeding from there as well. 

 

“When there’s no getting over that rainbow,

when my smallest of dreams won’t come true,

I can take all the madness the world has to give,

But I won’t last a day without you.”

 

                Just as he felt himself losing consciousness, he thought of Brenda.  “I can’t let her see me this way,” he said to himself. “Even if I do pull out of this, she’ll never get the picture out of her mind.  I can’t do that to her.”  He gritted his teeth and pulled himself to his feet.  He was bleeding, he was soaking wet, and he was doubled over in pain. “I must look a sight,” he said.  “No one’s giving me a ride in this.”  He started the long walk back home, hoping that he was going in the right direction.  He wouldn’t know until he saw some sort of landmark, and he was still feeling very light headed.  When a car horn honked, he realized he was walking too closely to the road.  But it was either the road or that ditch, steadily getting higher, and he wasn’t about to go back in there.

 

                Gwyneth and Denise served the children, who were getting hungry and impatient.  They stood in the kitchen, watching Victoria and Jody eat, and Gwyneth was holding Jasmine, giving her a bottle.

                “Why don’t you try and eat something, dear?” Gwyneth asked Denise.  Denise looked up at her and smiled.

                “You know you should try putting that voice of yours on tape or something--it’s kind of soothing, like rain forest sounds or something.”  Both women laughed at the comment.  “Waiting’s the hardest thing, isn’t it?” Denise asked. Gwyneth nodded.

                “Yes it is, but I’ll tell you what would make me feel heaps better, if you sat down and ate something, for the sake of your baby.”

                “How’d you know that I was pregnant?” Denise asked.             

                “A woman knows,” Gwyneth said.  “By the way you’ve held a hand over your abdomen all day, and by little things you say, like ‘my condition’. I’m happy for you, so do the little one a favor and have something for me, all right?”  Denise nodded and went outside to fix herself a plate.  Jason was eyeing the food hungrily, and Carly jabbed him in the ribs.  Lois was helping herself to a slice of pie, and as Denise fixed herself a plate, everyone stood around the table.

                “Do you guys think we should go ahead?” Carly asked.  “I mean it might be a while before they get back, and there’s so much here--”

                “I think you should all go ahead,” Gwyneth said, coming into the kitchen.  “I think that I’m going to go out and look.”

                “In that awful storm?” Denise asked.  “There’s already three people we care about out there in that mess.”

                “Well,” Gwyneth said humbly and quietly, “I’m certainly glad to be among the people that you care about.  But I just don’t feel right sitting here like this.  I promise to come back in twenty minutes if I haven’t found anything, all right?”

                “Well will you take a cell phone?” Lois asked.  “You can borrow mine--”

                “No thanks, dear, I’ve got one,” Gwyneth said, going out.

 

 

                Brenda drove along furiously, searching with her eyes while trying to keep her eyes on the road.  She swerved to miss an oncoming car, and apologized to John and Jane.               

                “It’s all right, love,” John said reassuringly from the back seat. “But be careful.” Brenda nodded as Jane kept looking frantically out the window. The windshield wipers were going at top speed, and so was Brenda.  She slowed down when she saw the broken sign and switched lanes when she saw the construction work being done on the road.

                “Jax would have been coming this way, wouldn’t he?” Brenda asked.

                “Yes,” Lady Jane said, “let’s stop here and look, dear.”  Brenda pulled over to the side of the road, dread coming over her.  She didn’t bother to cover her hair with the hood of her rain coat, so her hair was drenched as soon as she got out.  Brenda didn’t hear Jane’s scream.  She heard the dull thud of car doors slamming on John and Jane’s side of the car. She didn’t remember closing her own door, though.  And she wasn’t seeing the scene in front of her eyes.  She was seeing Daniel.  His car had been wrapped around a tree.  The man who hit him was in the back seat of a nearby police car.  Though at first Brenda couldn’t remember what he looked like, she could see him well now, in her mind’s eye.  He looked as though he didn’t know what he’d done.  She hated him.  Daniel’s body wasn’t in the car, but she didn’t know how they managed to get him out, the way the car was wrapped around the tree.

 

“Touch me, and I end up singing.

Troubles seem to up and disappear.

You touch me with the love you’re bringing.

I can’t really lose when you’re near,

When you’re near my love.”

 

                Brenda suddenly felt the wetness of the rain on her eyelids, making it hard for her to see.  She tried to focus, and then she saw what she knew to be Jax’s car in the water.  Only the front tires and part of the hood were visible now.  Brenda knew she was screaming, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.  She felt strong arms go around her.  “John,” she heard someone say.

                “What?!” Brenda said, looking around frantically.  “What? What! No, no, no!”  she dropped to her knees and began to sob, shaking back and forth.  Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind, she felt the mud and cold grass on her knees, chilling her, and she could hear Jane, in her mind, scolding her for staining the knees of her jeans.  Suddenly Brenda couldn’t hear anything. She didn’t quite know herself what she was doing, but she could feel someone else’s legs carrying her closer to the bank.  She threw off her coat and prepared to dive in.  John snatched her arm back before she could dive in.  “NO!” she screamed, tearing her arms free and trying to dive once again.

                “Brenda, the current’s too strong.  Come back, love.”  Brenda looked back at her car for Lady Jane.  Jane was talking on a cell phone inside the car, probably to the police.  Suddenly, Brenda saw lights and heard sirens blaring in the distance.  It was too much like Daniel.  She looked up at John, who was staring blankly out into the water.

                “Daniel?” she asked weakly.  “Is that Daniel?”  John looked down at her, too bewildered to answer her.  Brenda smiled weakly.  “He’s fine.  He’ll be fine.”  She nodded to herself and slowly pulled out of John’s embrace.  Jane got out of the car to speak to the officers, she frantically pointed down into the water and was shouting orders.  Brenda climbed back into her car, noting the squish sound she made from sitting on the seat.  She slammed the door and locked them all.  A police officer was knocking on the window, but she barely heard him.  She stuck her fingers in her ears and began rocking back and forth.   She was shivering and her fingers hurt, that was as much as her mind could take in at the moment.

 

“If all our friends have forgotten

half their promises, they’re not unkind.

Just hard to find.

One look at you and I know that I could learn

to live without the rest,

I’ve found the best.”

 

                Gwyneth had been driving for a while, and she was about to turn back when she saw a figure coming down the road.

                “Hitch-hikers,” she said to herself.  She looked the man over as she slowed down.  “Jax?” she said to herself.  He came to the car and tapped on the window. “Oh my God!” she said, reaching over to open the door.  “Jax! What happened!”

                “Thank God it’s you,” Jax said, struggling to get inside.  “Sorry about your seats,” he said.

                “Never mind about that!” Gwyneth said.  “We’ve got to get you to a hospital and tell everyone that you’re safe now.”  Jax put a hand on Gwyneth’s arm.

                “I don’t want to go to a hospital yet.”  Gwyneth shook her head and begun driving towards General Hospital.  “Gwyn!” he said, making her jump.  “I’ve got to get to Brenda.  I can manage all right, just take me to her.  I don’t want her to worry.”

                “She’s already worried out of her mind.  She, John and Jane went to look for you.  They’ve been gone awhile so I came out myself.”

                “Take me to Brenda’s, please,” Jax said. “I’m fine, but I’ve got to let her see me for herself.  She’ll never be all right until she does.”

                “All right,” Gwyneth said, “but please, call her cell phone or something.  Can you manage?” she asked, watching him fumble for the phone in her purse.

                “Yeah,” Jax said.  He dialed Brenda’s cell phone and listened to it ring.  “Come on,” he said through gritted teeth.

                Brenda sat in the car, still rocking and blocking everything out.  She heard something, but she didn’t know what it was.  She finally took her fingers out of her ears and looked on the seat next to her.  The phone was ringing.  She picked it up and opened it, not saying anything.  “Brenda?” Jax asked.

                “OH!” Brenda gasped.  “Am I losing my mind?”

                “No love, it’s me.  I’m alive, I’m fine.”

 

“When there’s no getting over that rainbow,

when my smallest of dreams won’t come true,

I can take all the madness the world has to give,

but I won’t last a day without you.”

 

                “Where are you?” Brenda asked.

                “I’m in Gwyneth’s car, we’re going back to your house.”

                “But how? I see your car--I’m at the accident site.”  Brenda’s hands were trembling as she clutched the cell phone.

                “I got out,” Jax said. “I know it looks bad Brenda, but I’m fine. I’m alive, and I’m coming home to you.”

                “Oh, thank You, God.” Brenda said.  “I’m coming too, I have to tell John and Jane.  Jax, I--”

                “I know, Brenda.  Me too.  I’m on my way. I want to see that face when I get there.  Will you hurry?”

                “Yes!” Brenda said, closing the cell phone and getting out.  “He’s alive!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.  Jane and John, holding each other, rushed to her, thinking she had lost her mind.  “He just called, you guys. On my cell when I was in the car!  He’s in Gwyneth’s car, apparently she went out searching too I don’t know, but she found him! He got out! They’re on their way to the house right now!”  John and Jane just stared at her.  “Come on!” Brenda said, pulling them towards the car.  John explained to the relief workers and quietly went along with Brenda.  Brenda could tell they didn’t believe her, but part of them wanted so much for it to be true, that they went along with her.

               

                Brenda pulled into her driveway and saw Gwyneth’s car was already parked.  She got out, leaving her car parked on the street, and rushed to the front door.  She opened it and searched for Jax.  She didn’t see him, and her heart sank and then came back up again when Victoria came downstairs.

                “Mommy! Daddy’s home! He’s in the kitchen.”  Brenda rushed through the kitchen door, Lady Jane on her heels.  Jax stood up and held his arms out for her.

 

“When there’s no getting over that rainbow,

when my smallest of dreams won’t come true,

I can take all the madness the world has to give,

but I won’t last a day without you.”

 

                “Oh dear God!” she said, hurling herself at him.  He winced, so she pulled out of his arms a little, and then just threw herself at him again.  He was holding her so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t care at all.  He was smoothing her hair down and whispering to her.  She mumbled her replies, and no one understood the conversation but the two of them. After an eternity, Brenda let John and Jane have their turn.  When Brenda looked down at her shirt, she realized that there was blood on it.  She looked up at Jax. “What happened?!” she asked, taking his face in her hands and examining him.

                “It’s just a scratch,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion.  He sat back down and allowed Lois to keep “doctoring” him, as she put it, so he could go to the hospital and be checked out.  She was insisting, and he knew better than to argue with his sister.  Brenda was a little freaked by all the blood, but she managed to calm down enough.

                “Who did this?” Jason asked, coming in with another first aid kit he’d found around the house.  Jason and Carly stood in the kitchen doorway, and Denise sat at the table with Jax.  Jane and John flanked Jax while Lois worked, and Brenda kneeled at his feet, looking up into his eyes.

                “Did the kids see you?” Brenda asked before Jax could answer Jason.

                “No,” Jax said, “Gwyneth is with them, upstairs.” Brenda nodded absently as her mind was working overtime to figure out who could have done this.

                “I have some idea who did this to me,” Jax said, “and you can rest assured they aren’t going to get away with it.”

                “It wasn’t Martin,” Denise said, shaking her head and getting up.  “He wouldn’t--”
                “He would,” Brenda said, venom on his voice. “He would, he DID, and you know it!”

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Chapter 17

                “Okay, okay,” Lois said, stepping in between Brenda and Denise. “Nobody has to be arguing here.  We’re all family, all right?  Now look, Jax is fine, we’re going to get to the bottom of this,” Lois emphasized, looking at Denise, “and no matter what the outcome, we stick together, all right?  Now Jax, let’s see about getting you to the hospital.”

                “No,” Jax said, “really, I’m fine.  I’m a bit scratched up and all, but I think that I will be just fine, I’ll go get cleaned up.”  Lois gave him a warning look, and Jax kissed her on the cheek.  “I’ll go in first thing in the morning, I promise.”      

                “What about your car, sweetie?” Brenda asked, rubbing her hand absently up and down his arm.

                “No worries,” Jax said, “I’ll just get another.  I suppose the police will be calling--”

                “Not if you don’t make a statement,” Denise said.  Everyone looked at her, and she felt extremely awkward.  Brenda started to say something, but decided against it.

                “I’ll tell you what,” Carly said, “why don’t we all just be grateful that we’re all here, together for Thanksgiving, huh?  Jax, you go upstairs, get cleaned up, and if you feel up to it, join us.  I think we should eat.  We’ve all been up in the air, things have settled, and in time, we’ll all settle too.”

                “She’s got a good head on her shoulders, that one,” John said.  “From the mouths of babes, you know.  I agree.  Let’s eat!”  Everyone filed into the dining room as Brenda and Jax went upstairs to her bedroom.  She closed the door and helped Jax out of his shirt.

                “You have a change of clothes in my closet,” she said.  “I can get them for you if you want to take a shower.”

                “Yeah, thanks,” Jax said, going into the bathroom and closing the door.  Brenda laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, listening to the water running.  She got up and changed her clothes, which were still damp.  She was sitting on the bed, staring at the door when Jax came out, wearing nothing but a towel.  “Hey,” he said, coming to sit beside her.  She smiled weakly up at him, but then cast her glance down on the bed.  He lifted her chin with his index finger.  “What’s that look all about?” he asked.

                “Nothing,” she said, gently removing her chin.  “I’m just--I’m so glad that you’re all right.  You know in the space of five minutes, everything goes from being perfect--well, almost perfect,” Brenda smiled, “to being a complete disaster.  Jax, I just don’t know what I would have done if--”

                “Hey, hey.  I’m fine now, okay.  I’m right here in front of you, and I can hold you and touch you, and kiss you.  I’m not going anywhere.  You know when I was in that car, and I could feel that freezing water rushing in, I could feel myself going under, and the last thing I thought was, “I can’t die and leave Brenda.  I promised I wouldn’t.  I know you’re not ready to say it yet,” Jax said softly, “But I love you, Brenda, and I stayed alive to tell you that.”  Brenda stared at Jax, the tears falling, but her face remaining expressionless.  Suddenly, she broke out into a huge smile and caressed his face.

                “I love you so,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.  She gushed and buried her face in her hands.  “I can’t believe I’m saying this.  I never thought I’d say that again, you know.”

                “I do know that,” Jax said.  “Neither did I.  But I can’t deny what’s in my heart, Brenda.  I can’t deny how much I love you, and I won’t, not anymore.”

                “Good,” Brenda said, pulling herself into his lap.  “Because I really don’t want you to.”  The kiss was deep and passionate, and quickly out of control.  Brenda had long since gotten rid of Jax’s towel, and now they lay on the bed, perilously close to making love.  Just then, they heard a knock on the door.

                “Oh good Heavens,” Jax said, rolling off of Brenda.  She was still dressed, and she got up to answer the door once Jax was in a pair of boxers and sweat pants.  Victoria was at the door.  She peered around it cautiously, looking for her daddy.  Brenda stood to the side and motioned for Victoria to come in.

                “Are you all right now, daddy?” Victoria asked, looking at Jax with unsure eyes.

                “Yes, love,” he said, taking her into his arms.  “I love you best, you know that, don’t you?”

                “I love you best too, daddy.  And you, mommy,” she said, turning around and smiling at Brenda.  “Are you coming down to eat now?  Everyone is laughing and talking and--”  Victoria tugged on Brenda’s sleeve, “Don’t tell him I said so, but I think grandpa John is going to eat everything we have.”  Brenda laughed out loud and took Victoria in her arms.

                “I love you so much, you know that?” she asked.

                “I know, I know, grownups are so sappy,” Victoria said, scampering out of the bedroom and back down the stairs.

                “Shall we go?” Brenda said, holding her hand out for Jax.  He grabbed a shirt from her drawer, one of his that he always left over there, and went downstairs with her.  His cuts really weren’t as bad when he had a chance to clean them up properly.  He looked like a decent human being now, he whispered in Brenda’s ear as they went down the stairs.  Just before they reached the dining room, he grabbed her hand and held her back.

                “I’m not sorry, you know,” he said, “for saying I love you.  That’s big stuff.”

                “It’s so big,” Brenda said, almost giggling.

                “It’s huge,” Jax said.  “And again, I’m not sorry.  I’ll never be sorry.”

                “Jax, never think that I want you to be.  If anything, today taught me how much I want you in my life.  I’m sure of that, all right?  I know all the problems don’t stop here, we have a long road, but we’ll walk it together.”

                “Whatever you say love,” Jax said, kissing her forehead and mumbling something about sounding like greeting cards.

                When they entered the dining room, Brenda and Jax sat beside each other and spent the evening feeding each other and staring at each other, and laughing at John’s outlandish stories.  Then, at the sound of tinkling crystal, Lois suggested that they all get up and say what they’re thankful for.

                “I’ll go first,” Lois said.  “I am thankful for my brother’s safety and health, for my parents strength, and for all of your love.”

                “Me next I guess,” Carly said.  “I’m thankful for friends like Brenda, who really come through when it counts.  And I’m glad for my lights, and I’m glad for concerned friends.”

                “I’m thankful for Carly,” Jason said, squeezing her hand. “And you guys sure now how to throw a party.  I’m also thank ful for the game that’s on in about ten minutes.”  Everyone chuckled a bit when Carly jabbed Jason in the ribs.

                “I’m thankful,” said Lady Jane, “for such a strong son and beautiful daughter, with the strength of ten women.  Your day is coming, love. You wait and see.  And I’m thankful to have an extended family that I’ve come to love as my own children.”

                “I’m grateful,” Jody said, kicking his legs under the table, “for Barney!”

                “That’s not right,” Victoria said, rolling her eyes.  “He meant to say Baby-Bop.  I’m just glad my daddy’s safe and Jasmine isn’t crying.”

                “I’ll say,” John said.  “My granddaughter’s got a set of lungs on her, I’ll say.  I’m grateful for health,” John said.  “My own, and all of yours.”  Denise took a deep breath.

                “I am so grateful,” she sighed, “for understanding and courageous friends, who believe in me like no one ever has.  You people have seen things in me that I had no idea was there.  I was worried about bringing this child into the world with no one to meet it but me, but I realized that wasn’t true--I have all of you, and I wouldn’t trade you for a thousand fathers for this baby. I’m so sorry for--”

                “None of that now,” Brenda said. “We’re all sorry.  But this is a day to give thanks, and I’m thankful for you, Denise.  Because you are my sweet, wonderful, funny friend and business partner, who is always up front with me even when I don’t want to hear it.  It’s meant more than you know, and it will continue to mean the world to me.  I’m just glad you’re going to be here to share it.  And I’m grateful for all of you, and my children, most of all, and Jax, the man I love with all my heart.  I’m thankful more than anything that it doesn’t hurt anymore to say or feel that.”  Jax leaned over and gave Brenda a short quick kiss.

                “I suppose it’s my turn now,” Jax said. “I am thankful for my life, for my health, and for people like you who fill my life in an innumerable amount of ways each and every day.  From the bottom of my heart I mean it when I say that I love you guys, and I couldn’t be more blessed.  Old friends, and new--” just then, Jax looked around for Gwyneth.  “Where’s Gwen?” Jax asked, as he mentally berated himself for not noticing her absence sooner.

                “She uh, she left shortly after you and Brenda went upstairs. She wanted to go, and we thought it perhaps better not to keep her.”

                “Did she say where she was going?” Jax asked.

                “No,” Lady Jane said, “but I did fix a plate for her.”

                “That hardly seems like enough,” Jax said.  “She saved my life.  I’ll call her tomorrow,” Jax said. “After everything’s settled down.”

                “I think that’s best,” Lois said.

                “All right,” Jason said, “enough with this mushy stuff, let’s watch the game!” 

                “Right behind you son,” John said.  Jax got up to go to the couch as well, but Brenda pulled him back.

                “No you don’t,” she said, “you’re going upstairs to rest.”  At first he pouted, but when she whispered that she’d be up later to see him, he went upstairs quickly.

                Hours later, everyone was gone, all the food was put away, the kids were finally sleeping, and Brenda began the long climb up the stairs.  When she remembered that Jax was waiting for her, a newfound pep came to her step, and she hurried along.

 

“Late at night when all the world is sleeping,

I stay up and think of you.

And I wish on a star, that somewhere you are

thinking of me too.

Cause I’m dreaming, of you tonight.

Till tomorrow, I’ll be holding you tight.

And there’s nowhere in the world I’d

rather be,

Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me.”

               

                Brenda tiptoed into the room and saw Jax’s eyes closed.  She thought he must be sleeping, so she was very quiet.  She crept around the room, and changed into something more comfortable, a pair of his old boxers and a T-shirt that showed her toned tummy.  She crept over to the bed and got in next to Jax.  She leaned down to look into his face, taking this time to really memorize the features that she already knew so well.  She traced tiny lines across his face, his chin, and his eyebrows.  Her fingertips lingered on his lips, her breath catching in her throat.  Just then, he took the opportunity to lightly kiss her fingertips.

                “You weren’t asleep,” she said quietly.  He shook his head.

                “No, I was just enjoying you.”

                “Oh,” Brenda said, rubbing his chest seductively. “Do you feel like enjoying me some more?”  She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow as she asked him that.

                “Really?” he asked, a grin coming over his face.  Brenda nodded and began to straddle him, much to his amusement.

                “But then, if you don’t feel up to it,” she smirked and pretended to get off of him.  He sat up suddenly and pulled her even closer to him, her softness rubbing against his stomach slightly.

 

“Wonder if you ever see me, and I

wonder if you know I’m there.

If you looked in my eyes, would you

see what’s inside, would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close, but so far

all I have are dreams of you.

So I’ll wait for the day I have courage to say

how much I love you.

Yes I do.

I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.

Till tomorrow, I’ll be holding you tight.

And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be

than here in my room, dreaming about you and me.”

 

                “Brenda, I want to say something to you,” Jax said breathlessly, as Brenda assailed his body with kisses.  “I know what this means to you, and I know what this means for us.  I don’t want you to rush into this if you’re not ready.”

                “Oh I’m long past ready,” Brenda said.  She was kissing Jax’s shoulder and whispering in his ear, her heart rate accelerating with his every touch. “You know, I’ve wanted you every moment since I laid eyes on you, and believe me, my body knew it, even in my heart didn’t.”

                “Really?”  Jax asked, kissing her neck and pulling her shirt off to reveal her to him.  “You are full of surprises you know,” he said, leaning down to kiss her and bringing a cry of ecstasy to her throat.  He was on top of her in no time and kissing her neck once again.

                “We have to be quiet,” she said breathlessly, doing her best to focus, but Jax was kissing her into oblivion, and she lacked neither the want nor the power to stop him.  “You feel so good,” she said, moaning into her pillow as he continued to give attention to her body and going lower and lower.

 

“I can’t stop dreaming of you.

I can’t stop dreaming.

I can’t stop dreaming of you.

 

Late at night when all the world is sleeping,

I stay up and think of you,

And I still can’t believe that you came up to me,

and said, “I love you,”

I love you too.”

                Brenda’s boxers that she had borrowed from Jax soon joined the rest of their clothing on the floor beside the bed.  Brenda thought she’d die from the enjoyment of it all, and she realized, almost with a childlike wonder, that this experience with Jax was unlike any other love making she had experienced.  He was adventurous in many ways that Daniel had not been.  Her mind only lingered on Daniel for a fraction of a second.  Jax kissed her again and again, his tongue tangling with hers.

                “Jax,” she moaned, “now.  Please.”

                “All right love,” Jax grunted.  His lips lingered over hers momentarily, kiss-swollen.  Brenda nearly splintered into a thousand pieces of love when Jax joined them in one swift move.  They began a steady pace that lasted well into the morning. 

 

“Now I’m dreaming with you tonight.
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life.

And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be,

than here in my room, dreaming with you,

endlessly.

Dreaming with you tonight.

Till tomorrow, I’ll be holding you tight.

And there’s nowhere in the world, I’d rather be,

Than here in my room,

I’ll be dreaming of you tonight, endlessly,

And I’ll be holding you tight

Dreaming with you, tonight.

Dreaming.”

 

                Jax rolled over and pulled Brenda on top of him, never once breaking their union.  Another rhythm was set, this time by Brenda.  Jax leaned his head back into the pillow as he arched his hips up to delve deeper into her.  She cried out when they rose to the heights of passion together, again and again....

**********************************************************************************

Chapter 18

                Light was just beginning to peek through the pulled down shades in Brenda’s bedroom when she awoke.  She’d been dreaming about last night, so when she opened her eyes, it was a great relief to feel Jax’s arms around her.  His breathing was calm and even, she knew he was sleeping.  The rise and fall of his chest was lulling her back to sleep when she heard his voice, whispering lightly in her ear.

                “Are you awake?” he asked.  Her body tensed only slightly, but Jax, holding her so closely, noticed it.  She briefly entertained pretending to be asleep, but she sighed and answered,

                “No.”  She rolled over to face him.  “Did you sleep well?”

                “Like a rock,” he stated.  “I think it’s because I finally got what I’ve been wanting for so long.”  She smiled seductively.

                “And what was that?”

                “You, of course.”

                “Listen,” Brenda said, “I’m not really good at all of this expressing my emotions thing, but I want you to know that I meant it when I said that I love you.  I meant it when I gave myself to you last night.”

                “I know that you did,” Jax said, tapping her nose.  “I meant it as well. I never imagined that love could be like this, like an awakening of sorts.”

                “It seems a little odd to be so sure of ourselves, don’t you think? I mean last month, if someone had asked me if we’d be here now, like this, I would have said no way.”

                “You doubted us that strongly?”

                “Jax, my mind wasn’t even ON us.”  Brenda paused and angled her head slightly.  “No,” she said, that isn’t true.  “I thought about us. I doubted myself. I doubted that I could really love anyone like that again.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship, a partnership like that again.  Maybe I was just scared,” Brenda said, shrugging her shoulders.  Jax reached out a hand and began drawing patterns on her stomach through the light film of a silver night gown she wore.  “Don’t get me wrong, it was never lost on me, how attractive you were. And at the beginning of our friendship, you were certainly more attentive than any guy friend I’ve ever had in the past.”

                “Well that’s because I was never very good at dropping hints, and I just wanted to be close to you.” Jax paused.  “I honestly don’t feel like myself when I’m without you, Brenda.”  She smiled at the compliment, but in the back of her mind, it scared the hell out of her.  She didn’t know if she was ready for Jax to count on her this much.  She’d hate herself if she ever disappointed him.

                Instead of raising an issue she quite frankly didn’t want to discuss at the moment, she took his face in her hands and kissed his lips gently.

                “As much as I would love to stay here in bed with all day, I have to get to the Java House today, we have yet another party to get ready for, and we’re staying open an extra hour tonight.  It is going to be a long day.”  Brenda didn’t move, despite her last statement.

                “Are Carly and Denise coming in today as well?” 

                “Yeah,” Brenda said, “but Denise is working in the back today, she’s still a little embarrassed, you know, because of Martin and all.”           

                “Yeah, I can imagine,” Jax said, rolling out of bed and slipping a shirt on. He already wore boxers, but when he felt a slight chill in the air, he pulled on some pajama bottoms.  She could tell he wanted to say something else.

                “Go ahead,” she said, sitting up and drawing her knees up and resting her arms across them.  “Go ahead and give me your theory.  I know you’ve already come up with one.”  Jax sat back on the bed and looked down at the floor.

                “I don’t want to be right on this one, Brenda, and Denise isn’t going to believe it, but--”

                “You think Martin was responsible for your accident, don’t you?”

                “Think? Brenda I know.  There was no way that person accidentally tailed me for more than 15 minutes.  I gave him ample time to get past me, there was no one else on the road, when I slowed he slowed, when I accelerated, he accelerated.  It was deliberate.  I don’t know when he started following me, I definitely didn’t notice him until after I came from the last grocery store.”

                “Did you see him any time between stores?”

                “No,” Jax said.  “But he must have been following me, Brenda. This was no coincidence that he just happened to be on the same road at the same time during a storm.  And that road work--he could have gotten his buddies together to set that up.”

                “But how would he know that you’d even be out today?  Or that you’d come that way when you did?”

                “Well maybe he lucked out on the road construction, but he knew what he was doing, and truth be told, I think he was just following me around, waiting for his chance.”

                “You know that we’re going to need more than that,” Brenda said, when she came out of the shower.  Jax was getting dressed and she was picking out her clothes and she said this to him from inside the closet.

                “What’s that?” Jax asked.

                “I said that we’re going to need more than a theory to make Denise believe that Martin could have done this.”

                “Why would she need any convincing at all?” Jax asked, looking annoyed. “The man beat her to a pulp while she was pregnant.  She would put anything past him?”

                “I can’t explain loyalty to you, Jax.  We all thought we knew Martin on some level.  I mean he never wanted to get close to any of us, and he never came with Denise when we went out, but I always assumed that--”

                “She saw a side of him that we didn’t,” Jax said, finishing Brenda’s sentence.

                “Exactly,” Brenda said.  “I can’t get used to how well you know me already.”

                “Well that’s the way it’s supposed to be,” Jax said. “Didn’t anybody tell you?”  He pulled her into his arms and relieved her of her towel.

                “I’m going to get you all wet,” she giggled, not really trying all that hard to get out of his arms.

                “I don’t care,” Jax said, nibbling on her neck.  He reached a hand down and tickled her tummy.  She squealed and jumped out of his arms.

                “No more of that,” she said between laughs as he stood and pulled her once more into his arms.  “I have to go to work, Jax, and so do you.  What are you doing with Victoria and Jasmine since Victoria doesn’t have school and day care’s closed today?”

                “Mum and Dad are picking them up and taking them to the park today, and then I’m having dinner with them tonight.  Care to join us?”

                “Oh no, I can’t, that stupid party, remember?”

                “You know,” Jax said, letting her go so she could get dressed, “Java House is really taking off.  Have you given any thought to what Judy Stuart said about expanding?”

                “I actually have given it thought,” she said, smiling.  “And I think I’m going to go for it.  This weekend I’m going to set up a meeting with her, I’ve cleared the day for her, and we’re going to go over everything.  A web site, some commercials, and then we’re going to drive around and look for some other sites for a chain.”

                “Congratulations, Brenda, that’s wonderful!  Why didn’t you tell me before?”

                “Well I didn’t want to jinx myself, and I wasn’t sure until this very moment that I was even going to do it.  What do you think?”

                “I think you should definitely go for it, I’m behind you, 1,000%.”  Brenda went into his arms and closed her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of once again being in love.

 

“Time when I was down and out,

no lovin’ in my life,

this angel came and brought about a meeting oh so right.

Took my dark and lonely days into the light,

with his loving ways.

He’s my wonderful, everything a girl could want to love,

and all I need.

Yes he’s my wonderful.

Must have been sent from up above, just for me.”

 

                Brenda was bustling to and fro in the Java House, preparing it for the last party she was giving this year.  She had to turn down dozens of offers for Christmas and New Year’s parties, but she wanted to spend the holidays with her family, and there was no compromising.

                Brenda set down a tray of steaming muffins and looked around for the tongs.  Carly asked her just then,

                “Brenda, do you have those receipts from last month?  Denise is working on something back there, and she asked for them.”

                “They’re in my purse,” Brenda said, “I’ll get them.”  She retrieved the receipts and handed them to Carly, and a note with very familiar handwriting on it fell out too.

 

“Gotta have him close to me, each and every night.

To give me that security of dreaming, and delight.

Love has got a grip on me, oh so tight.

Hope he never lets go.

He’s my wonderful.

Everything a girl could want to love,

and all I need.

Yes, he’s my wonderful.

He must have been sent from up above, just for me.”

 

                She read the note silently to herself, her cheeks growing warm as she remembered the feel of his hands on her body last night and this morning. Her shoulders were still tingling from when he’d rested his hands there as he kissed her when she left this morning.  She remembered the deep blue she saw sparkling in his eyes this morning when he gave Jody his breakfast and was playing with him until the sitter came.

                ‘Hey.  I hope you’re not mad at me for putting this in your purse. You know how women are about their purses and men going through them.’ Brenda crinkled her nose as she read that.  ‘You know how I am about hearts and flowers and all that, I think personal notes are much better,’ Jax went on.

                “Me too,” Brenda smiled.  ‘Speaking of flowers, I hope you enjoy them. Love, Jax.’

 

“’Cause I don’t never want to be free, yeah,

From this love and care that most people will never see.

And at night I pray that I’ll have my way

and enjoy love for eternity.

He’s my wonderful.

Everything a girl could want to love,

and all I need.

Yes he’s my wonderful.

He must have been sent from up above,

Just for me.”

 

                Just then, Brenda looked up as  delivery men came into the Java House, carrying a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  Three of them, actually.  The biggest one for Brenda, and two smaller arrangements that had “Denise” and “Carly” written on them.  Brenda folded the note and held it over her heart as she accepted the flowers and tipped the delivery men.  Carly carried Denise’s flowers back to her and then peaked over Brenda’s shoulder as Brenda read the note yet again.  Though Carly could have read the note, she didn’t, she just smiled and said,

                “That’s a great man you’ve got there, Brenda.  Hold on to him.”

                “I intend to,” Brenda said, smiling.

 

“No one could ever do for me,

the things he does,

Cause he’s my wonderful.

Everything a girl could want to love,

and all I need.
Yes, he’s my wonderful.

He must have been sent from up above,

Just for me.

He’s my wonderful, my wonderful.

Everything a girl could want to love,

and all I need,

Yes, he’s my wonderful.

He must have been sent from up above, just for me.

Time when I was down and out,

no lovin’ in my life,

This angel came and brought about a meeting oh so right.

Took my dark and lonely days into the light

with his loving ways.

Said he’s everything.

All I need.”

 

                Needless to say, the rest of Brenda’s day was perfect.  The party was a raving success, and she new she had made dozens of new acquaintances that would only help Java House become more successful.  She was turning off the lights and glancing around to make sure everything was put away.  She locked the front door, and went towards the back, since she had parked her car on the other side of the building.  Denise was still waiting by her car when Brenda came out.

                “Hey,” she said, “I thought you went home.”

                “I’m going,” Denise said.  “Martin called, he said he had moved all his things out.  I called a neighbor, she confirmed it, he’s honestly gone, Brenda.”

                “Well that’s good, right?” Brenda asked.

                “Would you hate me,” Denise said, “if I said I missed him?  That I was scared to be without him?” Brenda resisted the urge to cry and just looked at Denise.

                “I don’t know what you want me to say,” Brenda said.  “I’d be lying if I said that I understand your need to be with him, even after everything he’s done to you and to all of us.  I don’t know what to tell you Denise. I just want you to do what’s best for yourself and your baby.”

                “I don’t mean Martin,” Denise smirked through her tears.

                “Oh,” Brenda said.  “Well then what did you mean?”

                “I meant a man, Brenda. Any man.  I didn’t live on my own for very long before I met Martin.  And when he moved in, I was relieved. I mean he kept a place of his own, so on some level I still had my independence, but to know that I had a man in my house--I don’t know, I’m talking crazy.”

                “Denise,” Brenda said, coming towards her, “do you really believe that you need a man to be with you?”

                “No,” Denise said, her voice quivering.  “Yes. I don’t know, okay? I’m just scared, that’s all.”

                “Honey, it’s perfectly normal to be scared.  But you can’t let it stop you from doing everything you need to do to better your life.  And that includes letting Martin go, and if need be, raising this child by yourself.  Besides, you’ll never really be alone you know, because you’ve got Jax, and me, Jax’s parents, Carly--you’ve got so many people who love you.  Come on, snap out of this!  You’re better than this, you’re stronger than this. Where’s my best friend who was always so sassy? I want her back again.”  Denise looked up at the night sky, and then back down at Brenda.

                “Talking to someone, you said that helped you, right?  Dealing with Daniel and everything?”

                “Yeah,” Brenda said, nodding and looking at the ground.  “Group really helped me, and that might be the answer for you, it might be one on one, you never know, but I think it’s a good idea if you’re telling me that you might want to talk to someone.”

                “I think that that’s a good idea,” Denise said through her tears.

                “All right then,” Brenda said, “let’s get you home, into a good bath, and then tomorrow we’ll talk to someone all right?  I’ll follow in my car, okay?”

                “Okay,” Denise said, getting into her car.

                When Denise and Brenda got to her house, they went inside, and were shocked to see what Martin had left--which was basically nothing.  He’d taken the television, the stereo, the kitchen cabinets were open, and Denise could see he’d taken the china.  “That was my mother’s china, d@mn him! I can’t believe he did this!”  Brenda just sighed and shook her head.  The house was a mess as well.  Brenda bent down and started cleaning things up.  “Don’t worry about that,” Denise said, shaking her finger at the mess, but turning her back on Brenda and looking towards the bedroom.  “I’m going to see if he took anything else, call the police, Brenda. I want to file a report.”  Brenda nodded and put a hand on the phone.  She picked it up, but there was no dial tone.  She looked up at Denise whose voice she no longer heard.    

                “You might want to rethink that,” Martin said, coming into the room.

***********************************************************************************

Chapter 19

                “Martin,” Brenda said in disbelief.  “What are you doing here?”

                “I might ask you the same thing,” Martin said, waving a gun at Brenda.  Brenda took a step back, putting her hand up in the air.

                “Stop, Martin, please.”  Brenda’s eyes darted about the room.  “Where’s Denise?”

                “She’s in the bedroom,” Martin answered casually.  “She’s got a hard head, that one, I’ve always said.  I had to hit her twice to get her to go down.”

                “Oh my God, Denise!” Brenda said, attempting to go past him.  He pushed her back to where she stood.  “Come on, Martin, just--just let me go to her, I have to help her, she’s pregnant you know.  Aren’t you--aren’t you concerned for your child?”

                “The kid’s not mine, so why should I care?”

                “Oh Martin,” Brenda said, angling her head to the side.  “You know that the baby’s yours.  Denise hasn’t been with anyone else.”

                “Is that what she told you?  Did she give you that sob story when she came crying to you and that boyfriend of yours that I beat her?”

                “That was no story, Martin!” Brenda yelled.  “I saw you with my own eyes!”  Martin looked at Brenda, knowing he had just been caught in a lie.  “That’s right,” Brenda said, moving back and forth in an effort to calm herself.  She tossed her hair out of her eyes and looked at him challengingly.  “I saw you with my own eyes a few nights ago when I came to drop Jody off late one night.  Denise was going to do a favor for me and I walked in and saw--” Brenda broke off the statement when she saw Martin’s eyes flash with anger.

                “That was just one time,” he said, his hand beginning to shake as he pointed the gun at her.  Brenda lunged for it, but he managed to get out of her grasp and resolve his aim.  Brenda’s hands went up and she closed her eyes tightly, turning her face away.  She took a deep breath when she didn’t hear the gun cock.  She raised her eyes slowly to stare into Martin’s.

                “Come on,” she whispered softly.  “Martin, you know me. We used to be friends.”             

                “We were never friends--”

                “Not by my choice.  We always tried to get to know you.  I have kids, you’ve seen them, a little boy, two little girls. You don’t want to take me away from them, do you?”

                “I don’t give a damn about you or your kids,” Martin said, acid dripping off his voice.  “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?  You think because you have your own business and you live better than I do, that--”

                “I don’t think I’m better than you, Martin, I don’t even know you.”

                “I was going to have my own construction company you know,” Martin said.

                “Well see, there you go,” Brenda said.  “You can never have your dream if you’re behind bars.  And what about your child with Denise--don’t you want to leave a legacy--”

                “How many times do I have to tell you, bitch, that the baby is not mine!”

                “Okay, okay,” Brenda said, backing slowly away. “I understand, I do, but Martin, please, don’t do this, okay?”

                “It’s too late,” Martin said, cocking the gun.  Brenda resisted the urge to throw up as she heard the sound.  She began to cry, and struggled to speak through her tears.

                “Please, it’s not too late, Martin.  Just let me go, just let us go. Just leave right now, and I’ll go help Denise, and as far as we’re concerned, you were never here. You can still leave, take whatever you want, just please, please don’t hurt us!”

                “You know,” Martin said, taking a step closer to you, “I really wish I could believe that, but I can’t.  I know you.  You’re going to go straight to the police as soon as I leave, and I probably won’t even make it across the state line!”

                “No, I promise, please, I give you my word, I just want to make it out of this--”

                “Save the tears, sweetheart, time’s up--sorry--I always did think you were a babe--bye-bye--”  Brenda closed her eyes and turned away, hearing a gun shot explode through the night.  Her body tensed, and she prepared to feel the heat and pain of the bullet as it entered her body, but she didn’t feel a thing.  For a moment, she thought that Martin had missed.  She heard the gun go off again, and this time, she fell to her knees, and covered her head, screaming.  Martin’s screams drowned out her own.  “What the h#ll is wrong with you?!” he spat up at Denise.  Brenda turned around in astonishment, seeing Denise standing over them both, holding a smoking gun.

                “Denise!” Brenda called, getting up and running to her. “Are you all right?!”

                “You’re both crazy!” Martin yelled, holding his blown knee with one arm, the other arm lay on the floor, bleeding where Denise had shot him to make him drop his gun.  Brenda took notice of the gun and kicked it out of the way before Martin could grab for it.

                “I’m fine,” Denise said through gritted teeth.  Denise stared intently at Martin, as if off in her own world.  Suddenly, she came back to reality, and realized the gravity of what she had just done. “Oh my God,” she said, dropping the gun, and putting her hands to her mouth in disbelief.

                “It’s okay,” Brenda said, moving to pick up the gun she had just kicked.  She held it with a handkerchief she retrieved from her purse. “We’ll call the police, we’ll explain everything--”

                “The hell you will,” Martin said, grabbing the gun Denise had just dropped. He only had the use of one hand, and in the precious seconds that it took him to aim the gun at Denise, Brenda aimed at him, and fired a bullet straight into his back.  He dropped the gun from his extended hand and fell backwards onto floor.  Brenda let out a scream and rushed to him, checking his pulse.

                “Is he--is he dead?” Denise asked softly.  Brenda frantically checked his carotid and radial pulse, feeling slight movement.  She put her head in her hands and sighed deeply.

                “Oh no,” Brenda sobbed.  “What have I done?!”  She registered the sound of the gun falling to the floor from her hand.  “What have I done?”  Denise dropped to her knees and sighed.

                “Brenda--Brenda, stop crying, please!”  Brenda looked up at Denise, her cheeks wet with tears.  “You have got to calm down.”  Brenda nodded and sniffled, asking,

                “Are you--are you okay?  You feel okay, I mean the baby--?”

                “The baby’s fine,” Denise said, “and so am I.”

                “Well we’re not going to be for very much longer,” Brenda said, reaching for the phone and struggling to put it back in the jack on the wall.  “We’ve got to call the police before anything else--”

                “No!” Denise said, putting her hands on top of Brenda’s. “We can’t call the police.  We can’t!”

                “Oh, don’t even go there, please,” Brenda said, putting up a hand and turning her face away from Denise.  “Don’t even say to me right now that we can’t call the police, because we have no other options here.  I hit the man’s heart, Denise!  He’s not dead yet, though! We can still save him. He just tried to kill us, and he’s near dead and there isn’t a damn thing for us to do besides call the police!”

                “He’s no man,” Denise said with disgust, “and he certainly doesn’t have a heart.  Brenda, come on, listen to me, please.  Just hear me out.  The police don’t have very much proof, if at all, on record that Martin abused me.”

                “Well all they’d have to do is look at your face, Denise, I mean, you’ve still got some bruises and cuts--”

                “Not enough, and they’re too old to prove that he did it to me.”

                “We’ll vouch for you!  Carly, Jax, me, everyone!  We all saw what he did to you!  And then there’s Jax, and his accident.  He’s already talked to someone about that, the police were asking questions--we can solve this, it isn’t hopeless--”

                “Sure it is,” Denise said, getting up. “Don’t you get it?  You SHOT him, Brenda.  I SHOT him.  We’ve nearly KILLED him, his word against ours, and not even that considering the fact that he can’t talk!”

                “What are you getting at?” Brenda asked in annoyance.  “I mean, what do you propose we do with him? We can’t just let him die!”  Denise looked at Brenda as if that wasn’t such a bad idea.  “OH,” Brenda said, turning away and rolling her eyes, “how and WHEN did my life become a movie of the week?  Denise!  We cannot do this!  That would just put us even further in the hole.”

                “I am not going to go to prison because the world is short a man like Martin!  We did the right thing!”

                “Of course we did,” Brenda said, taking Denise in her arms for a hug.  “But that doesn’t mean that the police won’t understand. All we have to do is explain it all to them.”

                “I don’t know what kind of a world you’re living in,” Denise said, pulling from Brenda’s embrace, “but where I come from, the police aren’t your friends.  I don’t need to hear them cracking jokes about black on black crime like I heard some officers the last time I tried to do something about Martin.  We don’t have any proof that he hit me. I dropped the charges every time.  They’d use that in court, I know it.”  Brenda shook her head and opened her mouth to respond, but Denise shook her head. “Just listen to me.  They are going to come in here and see a ransacked house, a man bleeding on the floor, and two women standing here, guilty as sin, who have just shot him.  And they’re going to take us into custody, and the DA is going to push for a prosecution.”

                “How on earth do you know all of this?”

                “Martin may have been an @ss to me, but he has friends.  Plus, it doesn’t help that Jax beat his butt in front of everyone at that construction site.  This looks planned, Brenda, don’t you see?  There are two guns.”

                “Yeah, I meant to ask you about that,” Brenda said. “Where on earth did you get a gun?”

                “Martin kept them all over the place.  There are probably a few others here that he planned to take.”

                “Look,” Brenda said, “you’re right when you say that this was planned, but not by us.  Martin was waiting her for us.  Come on, we were at a party all night long, we were hosting, there are dozens of people who can attest to that.  We had no way of knowing he was going to be here, it was self defense.”

                “Maybe,” Denise said. “If that’s true, then why was he shot THREE times, instead of once?”

                “Why are you doing this?” Brenda asked.  “Are you trying to make this deliberately difficult?!”

                “I’m not,” Denise said, “but the DA is, and you can bet that.  They’re going to make this look like it was premeditated, not an accident.  Since when does it take three bullets to take a man down in the heat of the moment?  What, you just pulled the trigger and kept on squeezing?  Why did BOTH of us have to shoot him? Brenda, you and I know the answers to these questions, but the law could twist it around to make it sound like anything--like we’re both murderers, we’re both animals, when HE’S the one that’s an animal.”

                “No,” Brenda said, shaking her head, “I don’t believe it works that way. I have faith in our judicial system, Denise.”  Just then, Martin grabbed Brenda’s ankle and choked out,

                “Help me, please,” before passing out.

                “Oh,” Brenda said in disgust, “I don’t know why we’re standing here debating this.  I’m going next door to call the police, Denise, if they’re not already on their way. Your neighbors, they must have heard the shots.  We cannot just let him die, no matter what.  He’s better off alive for us, Denise.  Now I want you to come with me.”

                “Uh-uh,” Denise said, backing away from Brenda.  “I’m going to stay right here, just in case.”

                “Okay,” Brenda said, wiping the still falling tears from her cheeks. Her ears perked up at the sound of sirens.  She looked out the window.  “Oh, Denise, that’s the ambulance--they’re-they’re on their way, and the police too--” When Brenda didn’t hear Denise’s voice behind her, she turned and saw Denise standing over Martin once again, the gun pointed at him.  Brenda lunged at Denise and knocked the gun from her hands before she could fire it again.  “Stop it!” Brenda screamed.  Denise fell to the floor then, crying and sobbing.

                “I’m sorry,” Denise said, holding on to Brenda for dear life.

                “It’s okay,” Brenda said as the paramedics rushed into the house.  One of them stepped over Martin and came for Brenda, but she shoved them away. “We’re fine! Check on him! He was shot three times, I think.  In the back, it’s probably the most serious.  I think I may have gotten his heart.”

                “YOU did?” The paramedic asked.  Brenda nodded, and struggled to comfort a still shaking Denise.  Just then, two police officers came into the house and helped Brenda and Denise to their feet, and over to the couch.  The officers stood strategically in front of Brenda and Denise until the ambulance screamed away, carrying Martin to the hospital.

                “My name is officer Lawson,” a tall, dark haired man said, reaching down to shake both of their hands.

                “And I’m officer Fields.  Is there anything I can get the two of you--some water?”

                “Is he dead?” Denise asked, standing up, shocked to see all of the blood.

                “He wasn’t dead when he left here,” Lawson said, “so let’s just hope he pulls through.  Why don’t the two of you tell me what happened here?”

                “Okay,” Brenda said, when she saw Denise wasn’t going to speak.  “Well, uh--my name is Brenda Buchanan.  I own a coffee house, this is my partner, Denise Walker.”  The officers nodded.  “This is her house,” Brenda went on, “and we were at a party tonight--”

                “Uh-huh,” officer Fields said. “And were the two of you drinking?”

                “Oh, here we go,” Denise said, getting up and pacing the floor.  “I told you this would happen.”

                “You want to have a seat?” Lawson suggested.

                “I’m fine where I am,” Denise said through clinched teeth.  “Go on, Brenda, tell them your little story, see if they believe you.”  Brenda gave Denise a tiresome look, and tried to clear her mind and tell the officers everything they needed to know.

                “Look, we weren’t drinking, all right?  We hosted the party, it was at a place called the Java House.  It’s my business, and we were giving a private holiday party and when it ended, we came back here and Martin was here.”

                “Why’d you come back here?” Lawson asked.             

                “I LIVE here!” Denise said.

                “I was asking Ms. Buchanan,” he said.  Denise merely rolled her eyes and continued pacing.

                “Look,” Brenda said, “this has all been very stressful for us.  If you’d just let me explain--see, Martin and Denise were breaking up--”

                “Another domestic--”Fields said, as if Brenda wasn’t sitting right there in front of them.

                “Well it wasn’t really like that,” Brenda insisted.  “You see, Martin was supposed to be gone, but he wasn’t.  He was waiting here, for Denise, and he had trashed the place, and he’d taken the TV and stereo, and broken things--and Denise tried to stop him, we didn’t know he was here at first, but then he came out of nowhere--he--he took her mother’s china.  Oh, I’m not explaining this very well.”

                “Let me see if I’ve got this,” Fields said.  “You’re telling me those two got into a fight, and that’s how this man got shot.”

                “No, it wasn’t a fight--”

                “So  you just shot him--to get back at him?”

                “I didn’t shoot him--I mean I did, but it’s not for the reasons you say.”

                “Well please enlighten me,” Fields said, towering over Brenda.  Brenda looked to Denise, whose back was turned, and her shoulders slumped.

                “I--uh, I think I need to talk to my lawyer,” Brenda said.

                “Right, I thought so,” Lawson said.  “And you, Ms. Walker, is it?  Would you like to be presented with representation as well?”

                “And what makes you think I don’t have my own lawyer?” Denise asked.

                “Well do you?” Fields asked.

                “I do,” Denise said.  “Nora Buchanan.”  Brenda looked quickly at Denise in disbelief.  Nora Buchanan was Daniel’s cousin, the closest thing he’d had to a sister growing up, and someone who still blamed Brenda for Daniel’s death.  Denise had known Daniel’s entire family, and introduced Brenda to Daniel, so even though the ties had been broken between Brenda and her ex-family, Denise still had ties.  “She’ll represent us both,” Denise said, not thinking of the connection because previously, Nora had been Brenda’s lawyer.

                “Uh, no,” Brenda said, quietly, almost to herself.  “I have new representation--Ms. Davis.  Alexis Davis.  I’d--I’d like to call her.”

                “Fine,” Lawson said, “you can both call your attorneys from the station.  They’re going to tape this place off as a crime scene, so we need to go.”  Lawson tried to place a hand on Brenda’s elbow to lead her out the door, but she snatched it away.

                “Are we being arrested?” Brenda asked.

                “No, not at the moment.  We’re just taking you down for questioning.  You don’t have to say anything until your lawyers get there,” Lawson said.  Fields shot him an angry look, noticing that his partners emotions were softening toward this raven haired beauty. 

                Brenda nodded, and this time she allowed Lawson to help her out and into the police car.  Denise had walked out ahead of them and was waiting for Brenda.  They rode to the police station in silence.  Brenda had tried several times to subtly get Denise’s attention, but Denise just continued to stare out of the window and into the night.

                Once they got inside, they were separated and taken into drab looking rooms.  It wasn’t what Brenda had imagined, though.  The rooms were well lit, and the chairs, reasonably comfortable.  There was a detective waiting, and he stepped outside to be updated on this particular case.  The man didn’t look scary, Brenda noted to herself.  Or even ominous.  She hoped Denise was all right.  Just then, the detective came back in.      

                “Uh, I need my one phone call,” Brenda said. “I mean, that is the rule, isn’t it? I do get a phone call.”

                “You certainly do.”  There was a phone on the table, and the detective stood there as Brenda dialed Jax’s cell phone.  He answered immediately.

                “Jax here.”

                “Jax, this is Brenda.  Now listen to me, I don’t have a lot of time. Do you have Jody?”

                “Yeah, the sitter called and told me that you were late picking up Jody. Why are you calling on my cell, anyway?”

                “I took a chance you might not be home.  Jax, listen to me, all right?  Denise and I are at the police station, this is very serious.”

                “What’s happened?” Jax said, standing up.  He was in his living room, going over some contracts.  He’d assumed Brenda’s party ran late, so he took Jody for the evening, waiting for Brenda’s call.  He certainly never expected to hear that she’d been taken to the police station.

                “I’m not hurt, we haven’t been arrested.  But Jax, Martin tried something tonight, he’s been shot, he’s in the hospital.  I don’t have any more time, sweetheart.  I love you. Please, will you call Alexis Davis, she’s my lawyer, you know that, and tell her to get here as soon as possible?”         

                “I’m coming too,” Jax said. 

                “No, you’d have to wake the children, and I don’t want them to know about this.”

                “I’ll call Carly.   She can come and watch them, I’ll call Alexis, we’re on our way, love, just hang tight.”

                “Okay,” Brenda said, sighing.  “Okay.”  She hung up the phone and rested her head on her folded arms on the table.  When the detective didn’t leave right away, Brenda looked up at him in annoyance.  “I was told that I didn’t have to say anything until my lawyer got here.”  The detective barely registered her comment.

                “I just thought you might like to tell me what happened tonight, you know, before too many people get here, and things start getting stressful, you know, you start forgetting things, things start getting sketchy.”

                “I remember everything clearly, thank you very much, and I prefer to wait until my lawyer gets here.”  Brenda put her head back down, and hoped that he would take her hint and leave.  He did.

                Denise was waiting in a similar room.  She sat calmly, staring at the wall straight ahead of her. She’d called Nora, who was already on her way.  Nora was a partner in the firm where Alexis worked.  Denise had asked Nora to pass a message on to Alexis in case Brenda couldn’t reach her. Alexis had a lot of heavy, pending cases on her desk.  Just then, Nora rushed in, shouting orders, demanding her client be allowed to go home.  As soon as Denise saw Nora, she flew into her arms for a hug.

                “All right,” Nora said.  “Just calm down.  We’re going to straighten everything out.”

                “Okay,” Denise said, looking around the station.  “I don’t know where Brenda is--”

                “My only concern is you right now, okay?  Why don’t we go inside, and you can tell me what happened?” Nora raised her eyebrows and Denise nodded.  Nora turned to the detective, her tone serious.  “I’d like a few moments with my client, please.”  The detective left the room and closed the door behind him.  Nora turned to face Denise.  She ran a hand through her short, red hair.  “All right,” she said.  “Are you all right?”

                “I’m fine,” Denise said. “And so is the baby.”

                “You’re pregnant?” Nora asked.  Denise nodded.  “It’s Martin’s.”

                “Well,” Nora said, unsure for once in her life of what to say, she just patted Denise’s hand.  “As long as the two of you are okay, we’ll deal with that later.  Right now, I just want to know what happened, and then I’m going to see what it’s going to take to get you out of here.”

                “Well what about Brenda?” Denise asked.  “And could you find out about Martin for me?”

                “Brenda’s got her own representation,” Nora said coolly.  “And as soon as we’re done here, I’ll see about an update on Martin. Sound good?”  Denise nodded once again, and told Nora the whole story.  Nora just stood and called the detective into the room.  She explained very carefully and slowly, the situation, and the detective knew this woman was no pushover.  He wasn’t going to get anything out of this one, but that other one, that looker with the dark hair--if he understood things correctly, it was her that fired the gun that may or may not have done Martin in for good.  He could still hold her for further questioning, even if he had to let one of them go.

                “All right,” he said, “we’re not going to arrest you.  But we’ll be contacting you again, so don’t leave town, there is an investigation pending on this, and I’ll be honest with you, a lot of this depends on whether or not Martin pulls through.”

                “Fine,” Nora said.  “Let’s see about getting you home.”  As they walked into the hallway, they saw Jax bursting in.  When he saw Denise, he ran to her.

                “Are you all right?” He asked.  “Where’ s Brenda?  What’s going on?”

                “I don’t know where Brenda is, we were separated when we got here, this is my lawyer, Nora Buchanan.”

                “Oh!” Jax said, noticing her for the first time.  “Ms. Buchanan--”

                “The name is familiar to you, I know,” Nora said, shaking Jax’s hand. “Daniel Buchanan was my cousin.”

                “Oh,” Jax said softly dropping her hand.  “Ms. Buchanan, it’s nice to meet you.”

                “Likewise,” Nora said, discreetly stepping away and starting to leave.  Jax grabbed her arm quickly but gently.

                “Ms. Buchanan,” Jax said imploringly, “my--” suddenly, he didn’t know how to refer to Brenda.  He had almost let ‘wife’ slip out, but that certainly wasn’t the term.  He didn’t know how appropriate ‘girlfriend’ was, he and Brenda were just in the beginning stages, but he knew he loved her.  Finally, he just said ‘friend’. “My friend, Brenda Buchanan, she’s still in there.  I assume you got Denise released?”

                “She wasn’t arrested Mr.--”

                “Jacks.  Call me ‘Jax’ please.  She wasn’t arrested?”

                “No,” Nora stated plainly. “Is there a problem?”

                “Well, I’m not sure,” Jax said.  “Look, I’m not sure what the situation is between you and Brenda, but she needs your help.  Won’t you please go and see what you can do for her?”  Jax’s emploring looks were not lost on Nora.

                “All right,” she relented, “I’ll see what I can do.”

                “Thank you so much,” Jax said.  “I tried to reach her lawyer, Alexis Davis, but I couldn’t get a hold of her.  I think she may be out of town or something.”

                “All right,” Nora said, turning to him.  “Just wait right here please.”  Nora went in, and saw Brenda sitting at the desk.

                “Nora,” Brenda said, standing up.  Nora put a hand up and faced the detectives. She did her best to get the detectives to let Brenda go. Brenda was painfully silent throughout the conversation.

                “I’m sorry,” he said, “but we think we have a case against her.”

                “What? That’s absurd.  You don’t have enough evidence to arrest.”

                “She admitted to shooting him.”

                “She issued a confession?”

                “No.”

                “And was she with a lawyer?”

                “No.”

                “Did she wave her right to one?”

                “No.”

                “Well you must have some kind of a case, because I can’t see how you think you’re going to arrest her.”

                “We will decide that, but we’re making the decision to hold her for further questioning.  Now, are you Alexis Davis?”

                “No, I am not, I’m representing the other woman you brought in tonight, Denise Walker.”

                “Well she’s been told she’s free to go, so I suggest you handle your own client.”  In other situations, Nora knew she would try harder to get the person out, but she wasn’t clear on all the facts of the case yet, and she was still very angry with Brenda for what happened with Daniel, and no matter how unreasonable that anger was, she still had it.  She nodded silently.

                “I’m sorry,” she said, looking at Brenda.  Brenda looked at her.

                “Wait.  What does this all mean?  Where’s Alexis?  Why is Denise going home and I’m not?”

                “They think they may have a case against you,” Nora said to Brenda.  “But I don’t think they do.  I’ve left messages for Alexis, she’ll get to you as soon as she can.”  With that, Nora turned to walk out.        

                “You’re just leaving me here?!” Brenda asked, to Nora’s retreating form.  “Wait! Please!” Nora stopped in her tracks.  Brenda’s mind raced, trying to block out the sadness of Daniel that came with seeing Nora, and tried to think of something to get her to stay and help Brenda out of this.  “Nora, what about Jody?  Help me please.  If you won’t do it for me, do it for Jody. Nora, do it for Daniel.”

 

Chapter 20

 

                Nora turned around to face Brenda.  Brenda’s face was expressionless until Nora stepped closer to her, and then relief flooded Brenda’s face.

                “I don’t think we can afford to wait for Alexis,” Nora stated plainly.  Brenda nodded her head in agreement.

                “Jax is working on that, but I don’t have a lot of time. Please, Nora. Do this one thing for me.”

                “You’re going to owe me,” Nora said.  “Do you have a dollar?”  Brenda looked around for her purse, but it was nowhere to be found.

                “Uh--I left it at the desk,” Brenda motioned, but then her face lit up as she stuck her hand in her bra and pulled out a dollar.  Nora raised her eyebrows.  “Carly told me once that her mother told her to always keep at least a dollar on you somewhere no one could steal it from you, in case you ever got into trouble.”

                “Uh-huh,” Nora said, looking at her strangely.  “And you keep yours in your bra?”

                “Well,” Brenda motioned to her body, she was still dressed from the party they’d hosted earlier in the evening, “there aren’t many places I can keep a dollar in this dress.  And these heels? Open toes, not happening.” Brenda laughed weakly, and Nora took the dollar from her hand nodding slowly.

                “Okay, I’m officially your lawyer, but I assume that you’ll want Alexis back on this case as soon as we can track her down.”  Nora was baiting Brenda, and Brenda knew it, but right now, she had to do everything she could to keep Nora on her side.

                “Well Nora, you know I am SO grateful to you for taking my case today, really, but I think it’s best for everyone if we just let Alexis handle things after today.”

                “Fine,” Nora said.  “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do--”

                “Well wait, just a second,” Brenda said.  “There’s just one thing--I mean, I know that there’s a bit of history between us, and I’m not going to make this conversation about that right now, but Nora, you have to believe me when I tell you that I was not trying to kill Martin.  I was just trying to stop him--he was going to hurt Denise.  You do believe me, don’t you?”  Nora turned on her heels and went for the door.

                “It doesn’t really matter what I believe, Brenda. I’m just your lawyer.”

                “Just my lawyer?  Hey, wait a just a damn minute, here!” Brenda put a hand on Nora’s shoulder and turned her around.  “It absolutely does matter what you think.  You can’t help me if you don’t believe me!”  Nora stared at the ground, and then Brenda slightly squeezed her shoulders for emphasis.

                “All right,” Nora sighed, “if it will make you feel better, I can assure you, I do not think that you were trying to kill Martin.  But you don’t have to try very hard to kill the men in your life, do you?”  The comment stung, it was a low blow, and both women knew it.  Brenda felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach.  She and Nora had gotten along so well until Daniel’s death.  She never once thought that Nora hated her this much.

                “If this is how you feel,” Brenda said, her voice breaking, “then why are you helping me?”

                “Because of Daniel, because it’s what he’d want, and because of Jody. That beautiful son of yours doesn’t deserve to have both of his parents taken away from him so soon in life.”  Unable to think of anything else to say, Brenda just nodded, and then asked,

                “Okay then, what’s the next step?”

                “The next step is to go out there and bully them into letting you go home.  It’s extremely late, there’s no word yet on Martin, they aren’t going to charge you, and if they aren’t going to question you further, then there’s no reason for you to be here. So we’re going to push that first.”

                “Okay,” Brenda said weakly. “Let’s do it.”

                Before either of the women could do anything the detective came in, looking very satisfied with himself.  Nora took the opportunity to speak up.

                “I’m glad you’ve returned, detective, Ms. Buchanan as agreed to put me on retainer as her lawyer, Alexis Davis is no longer on the case, and I demand right now that my client be released if you’re done with all questioning.”

                “Oh we’re done with all questioning all right,” the detective said, stepping closer to Brenda.  “Why don’t you come on in here, Lawson,” the detective said over his shoulder.  Officer Lawson stepped reluctantly into the room, looking down at the floor.  Brenda looked back and forth to all of them.

                “Can I go home now?” she asked softly.

                “I’m afraid not,” Lawson said.

                “What--what do you mean?” Brenda asked frantically.

                “Brenda, just calm down,” Nora said, raising a hand. “Now gentlemen, what is this all about?”

                “Brenda Buchanan, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Martin Shayne.”

                “What?! Oh my God!” Brenda said.  She backed away as Lawson stepped behind her and began to place the handcuffs on her.  Brenda’s body went limp as Officer Lawson proceeded to read Brenda her rights.

                “You have the right to remain silent.”

                “Well I waive my right, damn it! This is a mistake!”

                “Brenda, be quiet!” Nora snapped.

                “Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law.  You have the right to an attorney.  If you cannot afford one...”

                “Oh my God,” Brenda said, sinking to her knees.  Officer Lawson easily pulled her back to her feet.  Brenda’s world began spinning out of control as this was happening.  She thought she heard Jax’s voice somewhere in the back of her mind, but suddenly, she was brought back to reality by Officer Lawson’s unusually abrasive voice.

                “Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?!”

                “What?--Yes, yes! I understand!” Brenda said.  Officer Lawson took Brenda by the upper arm and led her out into the hallway.  Nora was silent through all of this.  When Brenda glanced tearfully back at her, Nora softened, and stopped the procession long enough to assure Brenda,

                “I’m on my way to see about bail right now, okay?  We’re going to get you out of this.”

                “Do I--do I have to spend the night here?”

                “Probably so,” Nora said softly.  “I’m going to do all I can, Brenda.  Try not to worry.  And don’t say anything to anyone, please, no matter what?  Can you remember that?  That’s all I need you to do. Can you handle that?”

                “Yeah,” Brenda said, turning her head as she walked into the middle of the station.  Jax was the first person she saw.  He was kneeling in front of Denise, who was sitting in a chair, sipping a cup of coffee.  He heard the doors swing open, and was up on his feet immediately.

                “Brenda?” he called out.  All she could do was look at him, her mouth trembling, she knew she was unable to speak.  She asked all she needed to with her eyes.  “Jody’s fine!” Jax said, struggling through the maze of desks to get to Brenda.  “I love you!” he said, when a few officers gently stepped in front of him, preventing him from going any further.  “I’m going to get you out!  I will!” he called, just before she slipped from his vision.

 

“When winter comes in summer,

When there’s no more forever,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.”

 

                Brenda sat on the bed, her knees drawn underneath her, rocking back and forth.  She didn’t remember when she had been so cold.  Yes she did.  The night that Daniel had died, and then again, the night she had thought she lost Jax as well, in the accident.  It had been hours since she’d heard from anyone.  She didn’t know what time it was, but she was grateful to be alone in her cell, and thankful that some of the other prisoners were being silent.  She didn’t have anything to think of other than Jax.  At least her mind wouldn’t let her focus on anything else.

 

“I’m sure you’ve heard these words before,

And I know it’s hard for you to trust them once more.

You’re afraid it all might end.

And a broken heart is scared of breaking again.

But you’ve got to believe me,

I’ll never leave and

You’ll never cry as long as I am there,

And I will always be there,

You will never be without love.”

 

                Brenda thought back two nights ago, since she assumed it had to now be morning.  She was safe in Jax’s arms, happier than she had been in years, and content to spend the rest of her life there.  She didn’t know what she would do without Jax through all of this.  She had no idea what would happen, where her future was going, if her children were all right, what they were being told about where she was, and worst of all, whether or not Martin had survived his injuries.  She hoped so.  She had never prayed so diligently for someone to recover than she had for Martin Shayne.  How had her life come to this?  All she wanted in her life was love, and once she achieved it, almost EVERYthing else in her life was either taken away, or this close to becoming so.  Somehow, through all of her pain, there was one thing she knew, or at least felt, she would never loose, and that was Jax’s love.  She knew somehow that he would make things right for her.  Getting comfort from that knowledge, she laid down on the bed on her side, in a fetal position, one she had seen all of her children take on so many times.  She never realized the comfort in the position until now.  She closed her eyes and imagined Jax’s body spooning hers.

 

“When winter comes in summer,

When there’s no more forever,

When lies become the truth.

Oh, you know then baby,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.”

 

                Jax paced the floor of his living room, waiting for Nora to pick up her phone.  When she finally did, he tried his best to control his anger.

                “Where on earth have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you for hours.”

                “Mr. Jacks, I am your--Ms. Buchanan’s lawyer, and I’m keeping you abreast of things out of courtesy, so please, calm down, and lower your voice.”  Jax sighed.

                “Of course you’re right, I’m sorry.  It’s just that--well this has been difficult on all of us, my children, especially Jody.”

                “You consider Jody your child?” Nora asked, getting off subject.  Jax really didn’t want to go there with her.

                “Yes I do,” he stated plainly.  “I love him as though he were my own. Do you have a problem with that?”

                “No,” Nora said immediately, her voice full of concern.  “I’m glad that he has someone like you.  He’s going to need you.  Now, I must tell you that I’ve worked all night to try and get bail.”

                “Have you?”

                “Well, it’s going to be a tough sell, Jax, I have to admit that.  But I’ll do what I can.”

                “I need you to do more than you can,” Jax insisted.  “I need you to get her out on bail.”

                “I will do all that I can.  The arraignment is in two hours, can you be at the courthouse by then?”

                “Of course.  Have you had any luck finding Alexis Davis?” Jax asked.

                “Yes I have, I’ve left her messages everywhere, she is on her way, she was out of town.  She will get there sometime during the hearing this morning, or possibly after. She’s getting her as fast as she can.”

                “All right,” Jax said, sighing.  “Thank you for all that you’ve done so far, and anything else that you may do.”  Nora was just about to hang up when Jax said, “I want you to know something, Ms. Buchanan.  No matter what you think of Brenda and the situation with Daniel--”

                “I will not let that cloud my judgment on this case.”

                “No, no, I didn’t mean to imply that.  I only meant that--well, I love Brenda very much.  She means the world to me, and life has given both of us another chance.  Please do all that you can to see that we get that chance.  She deserves it, whether you think so or not.”  Nora was silent.  “Thank you,” Jax said, before hanging up.

 

“That’s when I’ll stop loving you, yeah.

As long as sun light lights the sky,

A light of love will be found in these eyes of mine.

I will shine that light for you.

You’re the only one I’ll ever give this heart to.

What I’m trying to say is,

Nothing will change this.

There’ll be no time you won’t find me there,

Cause I will always be there,

You will always have all my love.”

 

                Jax and Denise were sitting in the back of the small court room when Brenda was brought in.  Jax put up a hand to Brenda as she barely got a glimpse of him before she was turned around and had to stand in order to face the judge.  She still had on her party dress from last night.  It was short, and black, with thin spaghetti straps.  She had been given a thin sweater, which she nearly drowned in.  Her arms ached from the handcuffs.  When the proceedings began, Nora asked that Brenda be released from her handcuffs.  The assistant district attorney, Karyn Richardson, had no problem with that.  When she got the handcuffs removed, Brenda smiled thankfully at the judge, who didn’t seem at all impressed.  Arguments were made on both sides and then Karyn raised the issue that Brenda was a flight risk.

                “My client is no flight risk, your honor,” Nora said, standing up.

                “She’s rich, she has been charged with attempted murder, it’s an open and shut case, she could very well run,” Karyn interjected.

                “With all due respect,” Alexis said, coming into the courtroom, “our client is NO flight risk.”

                “And what are you doing here, Ms. Davis?” the judge asked.  Alexis took her place on the other side of Brenda and gave her hand a small squeeze and apologized with her eyes.

                “Your honor, Ms. Buchanan and I are working on this case together, and I do apologize for being late, and holding up the court’s time.  But as I was saying, my client is no flight risk.  She has a child that has firm roots in this town, and a successful business that will become an interstate chain very soon, we firmly believe that these charges are false and that they will be dropped, and my client has absolutely no reason to flee.  It is in her best interest to remain in town and obey the law.  We urge the court to consider bail.”  The judge nodded and then sighed.

                “Bail is set at $1million dollars.”  And with a bang of the gavel, she dismissed court.  Brenda’s jaw dropped.

                “A million dollars?!” She looked frantically at Alexis, who did her best to calm her.  Nora went about packing her briefcase, and then she turned to Brenda.  “I may have money, as you put it, but I don’t have that much money--I don’t--what am I going to do?  Everything that I have is tied up in Java House--I--”

                “Calm down, Brenda,” Alexis said, “We will work something out.”

                “That’s right,” Nora said, “and besides, you only have to pay 10% of the bail.”

                “Yeah well,” Brenda scoffed, “that’s still ten grand.”

                “We can do it,” Jax said, “easily.”

                “Oh, no, Jax, I can’t let you--”

                “What are you talking about?” Jax asked incredulously.  “As if I would let you spend one second in jail if I could help it.”

                “No, Jax, come on, we’re talking about ten thousand dollars.”

                “Money is no object, Brenda, you know that.”

                “I know that you don’t just have ten thousand dollars lying around and that John isn’t going to let you use ten thousand of J&J Jacks’ money to pay for bail.  This case is going to be all over the news.”

                “I don’t even know why I’m debating this,” Jax said, taking Brenda’s face in his hands, and kissing her passionately.  It reawakened in her feelings that she had temporarily forgotten.  She longed to be in his arms once again.  Hot tears spilled down her cheeks when she felt his lips leave hers.  Alexis and Nora cleared their throats and discreetly made their way to the back of the courtroom where Denise was waiting.  Brenda sighed and placed her hands behind Jax’s neck.  “I am not going to argue with you on this, Brenda. This is no time for your stubborn pride.  You don’t have ten thousand dollars ready, but I can have it within the hour, and I intend to do this for you.  And as for John and the company, you know very well that he would do anything for you, you’re like a daughter to him, and the Jacks family has survived worse scandals from our own members. We can afford to take a little heat from the press.”  Brenda scoffed.

                “I don’t believe any of you Jacks have been bold enough to stand trial for attempted murder in the press.”

                “Give Jerry a few more years, I’m sure he’ll add it to his record,” Jax joked.  “Listen to me, I’m going to go and handle this bail business right now, we’re going to get you home, and then we’re going to get you out of this--for good.”  Brenda looked down, but Jax forced her to look back into his eyes.

 

“When winter comes in summer,

When there’s no more forever,

When lies become the truth,

Well you know then, baby,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.”

 

 

                “Do you have any idea how bad this is going to look in the papers?” Brenda asked.  “Are you sure that all of this is worth it to you?  I mean Jax, you really do not need to be tied to this right now.”

                “What’s this?” Jax asked.  “Are you going to start deciding now what I need? I already have one mother, thank you very much.”  Brenda laughed at his comment.      

                “Baby, I’m not trying to decide anything for you.  I’m trying to spare you the pain of having to explain this to your girls if this thing goes to trial.  I’m trying to spare you all the feelings that are going to come along with a conviction.  Jax, I don’t want you to think you’re responsible for me.”

                “I don’t think that I’m responsible for you, Brenda.  You’re responsible for yourself, that much I’ve learned from our relationship.  I do not underestimate you, believe that.  But I want you to let me help you--not because you don’t have any other choice, but because you want me to help you.  Brenda, please, let me do this one thing for you.”

                “All right,” Brenda sighed, “but will you do me one more favor first?”

 

“That’s when I’ll stop loving you.

When this world doesn’t turn anymore,

When the stars all decide to stop shining,

Til then I’m gonna be by your side.

I’m gonna be loving you forever,

Every day of my life, baby.”

 

                “You already know,” Jax said, whispering in her ear, “that I would do absolutely anything.”

                “Would you kiss me again?”  Jax smirked as he lowered his face to hers.

                “That, my dear, is definitely doable.  I love you.”

                “I love you too,” Brenda murmured against his lips.  When the kiss ended, Jax caressed Brenda’s face and then whispered,

                “I have to go now.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

                “Okay,” Brenda said, holding his hand until the last possible moment.  When he disappeared from the courtroom, Brenda sank into the chair and let the weight of everything come down on her shoulders.  Denise was by her side in moments.

                “I don’t know what to say,” Denise said.  “Is there anything I can do?”

                “No,” Brenda said.  “It’s my fault, all of this.”

                “How can you even say that?” Denise asked.  “You were trying to save me, you were trying to protect me.”         

                “Well good luck trying to convince a jury of my so-called peers,” Brenda said.

                “Please, tell me what I can do.”  Brenda had closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the chair, but now she opened them to look at Denise.

                “You can take care of yourself, and that baby,” Brenda said.  “You can do that for me.  And you can realize that you are so much better than Martin Shayne, and that you do not deserve one second of the pain he put you through.  And you can promise me that no matter what, you will never go back to him, and that you will never ever trust any man that makes you compromise your sanity, and your selfworth, and your self confidence.  Because at the end of the day, those are all we have.  You deserve that, Denise, so go get that, and hold on to it for dear life.  That’s what you can do for me.”  Brenda paused.  “That, and keep the shop on its legs.”

                “That goes without saying,” Denise said, tears on her voice.  “I’m so sorry that you got dragged into all of this.”

                “Don’t be,” Brenda said.  “Because it means that you’re alive, that the baby’s alive, and that Martin isn’t ever going to hurt you again.”  Denise hugged Brenda and then left.

                Jax arranged bail, and Brenda was released.  She went to her house to shower and change, and get a few hours of rest.  Jax was waiting for her downstairs when she woke up around six o’clock that evening.  She padded down her stairs and found Jax on the couch.  He appeared to be watching television, but he met her at the base of the stairs as soon as she reached them.

                “How are you doing?” he asked, brushing some hair off of her face.

                “I’m okay,” she said.  “I feel a lot better about things.  Do you know if Martin is going to be okay?”

                “I think that he will,” Jax said.  “I have a few friends at the hospital, and from what they can tell, Martin will make a full recovery.”

                “Thank God,” Brenda said, putting a hand to her chest.  “I don’t know what I would have done if--”

                “But we don’t even have to think about that now,” Jax said.  “Because it didn’t happen.  Now all we have to focus on is you, me, our family, and how we’re going to get you out of this.”  Brenda hugged Jax, and then rested her head on his shoulder.

                “I don’t want to think about anything right now except seeing my babies.  Are they here?”

                “No, they’re at my place still.  Victoria was determined to stay up as long as she could, waiting for you, and she surprised me, she was up until about lunch time.  But she gave out.  Carly’s watching her and Jasmine and Jody as well.”  Brenda nodded and kissed Jax on the lips.

                “Thank you,” she said, “for taking care of him.”

                “Well of course,” Jax said.  “Let’s go see them.”

 

“Well you know then, baby,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.

When winter comes in summer,

When there’s no more forever,

When lies become the truth,

Well you know then, baby,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.”

 

                When Brenda and Jax arrived at his house, they found Carly sleeping on the couch, the lights were dimmed, though it was still early evening.  The house was eerily quiet.  Brenda climbed the steps quietly and looked in on a sleeping Victoria and Jasmine.  Then she went further down the hall and saw that Jody was sleeping on Jax’s bed.  She sat down on the bed, it was so large, it didn’t disturb the little boy’s sleep.  Jax came to sit down beside Brenda and ran his hands through her hair.  She sighed and patted his back.  She allowed her hand to linger, letting it move with the gentle rise and fall of his breathing.  Brenda’s sobs were so quiet, from behind her, at first Jax didn’t notice them.  But he did eventually hear her, and he held her until she stopped crying.  She turned to Jax once, and then back to look at Jody, saying simply,              

                “I really don’t want to lose my children.”  She sighed and tried to regain her composure, but she couldn’t help shaking.  Jax put his arms around her and tried to reassure her.

                “That will never happen.  I love you so much, Brenda.  And I will never let anything happen to you.”

 

“When winter comes in summer,

When there’s no more forever,

When lies become the truth,

Well you know then baby,

That’s when I’ll stop loving,

That’s when I’ll stop loving you.

That’s when I’ll stop baby,

I’ll stop baby, loving you.”

 

Music Credit:  “That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You” sung by ‘N Sync, written by Diane Warren on their CD, “No Strings Attached.”