This flame was passed around on one of my lists, I found it amusing so I put in a response to the flamer.

Flame:

But here's what he said. The guy's name is SebastianYarrick.

"All right, this may seem like just another flame but it isn't. I just want to ask all the writers of these Lord of the Rings Romance Fan-Fictions something. How many of you have read the books. You heard me, read them, not "Seen the movie 7 times," but read them, all of them. Ok, now how many of you only read the books because you saw the film first. If either of the above sentences apply to you the following words are for you, if not I am sorry that I've accidentally sent you this rant.

I despise you. I have never met you but I can tell by reading the poorly put together shit you put on this site that you are all shallow, stupid, ugly, little people with no real interest in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. You saw the film. You thought Orlando Bloom was cute. You realized that it was "cool" within your little clique of friends to read the books and like them all of the sudden. You pronounced yourself to "Be a true fan," and in that spirit wrote your Fan-Fictions. Some of us read the books and loved them before the movie was ever written. Some of us really know about middle earth. Some of us could list the anachronisms that flood your tales by the hundreds.

And as to you writers of "Legolas/ Aragorn," or "Frodo/Sam," or "Gimli/Arwen," Fictions, I laugh at you. I laugh at you because your sexual urges are so bent up and twisted that instead of finding out what a real relationship is you imagine two fictional characters having sex even though the characters that Tolkein wrote about would never do such things. One more thing before I end, Legolas is an interesting character I admit, but I'm disgusted at the Pop Icon you little girls have made him into.

My email address is Gsharps101@y..."

My response:

Dear Mr. Yarrick,

First off, yes I have read the books. I first read the Lord of the Rings when I was in grade five and it captivated my soul. I have been bound to it ever since :o) Tolkien's world is actually what inspired my own dreams, and later my writing. And I have seen the movie five times.

What I don't understand is why you wish to separate those who read the books before, and those after? It makes me glad that people have been moved to discover Tolkien's world because of the movie. Some of these people would never have bothered to read such a novel otherwise. And if it captures and inspires them, all the better.

I also believe that not *all* of the fan fiction out there is "poorly put together shit " or that all writer's are " shallow, stupid, ugly, little people." As I am one of them, and over the years I have befriended and grown to love, some of my fellow slashers. These people have real lives, real pain, and real passion. Which is why they choose to write fan fiction. It's a way of becoming part of something they can't touch. It's a release from the pressures of life. It's showing how things could be, in a perfect, imaginary world. It's fantasy.

And I believe that fantasy is something you hold near your own heart.

Now, I'm not saying all of the fan fiction out there is wonderful. In fact I can think of many in dire need of spell check. Not to mention a few steaming piles of crap that have come out. But, there are also many good writer's out there who do wonderful work. I do not see why you must slander them all. I also am not impressed with your inclination to judge those that you have never met.

As for the pairings of these fictions. I agree that in Tolkien's world they would never occur. But, these writer's have been inspired with love of his creation. By writing of them, they're just showing it. They're simply bringing the fantasy into their own hearts and expressing it with their keyboards. If you don't like the idea of a pairing then refrain from reading the fiction. Really, it's that simple my dear.

"I laugh at you because your sexual urges are so bent up and twisted," in all honesty I can't fight that point. As I am an inferno of raging lust. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing (Except perhaps, for the poor man I kill when I release it, and fuck him to death). I see nothing wrong with writer's pairing up the characters. They know it won't happen, but that's why they do it. It's all about visualizing your dreams, about the fantasy that sweeps you off your seat and drowns you in it's passing.

Thank you for the excellent flame,

-Java Green