tasker

Quotes from our favorite eccentric teacher!

"It's 11:30 and I should be naked!"
"Speak English or we'll nuke your ass, beotch!!"
"Holy hillbilly, Batman!"
"Like a Texas Longhorn on steriods with about 50 cups of coffee in it. Harness that thing up and ride it!!."
"The puritans did it all for the nookie!!!"
"I'd definatly vote for Gore's oldest daughter... hoo-YAH!!"
"This is easier than half the girls in Nokomi... nevermind...."
"I scream and poop, therefore I am."
"I'm gonna ride him like a Harley on a bad piece of road!"
"Watch out... that guy was under Sweedish Barbie's skirt for a good six months last year. She's a minky heur!" (note: minky heur is Irish for "skanky slut.")
"What if we were to take all the RAs out of the dorm and take off all the alarms? Two words: Shaggadelic, baby!"
"Streudel??? That sounds like something that runs down you leg at an inoppertune time!"
"You just get blown."
"Then we went to Nokomis!! Sin and degredation everywhere!!!"
"We were 'highly modivated.' (makes drinking motions)"
"I think Santa's a perv.... 'He sees you when you're sleeping??' C'MON!!"
"Nookie runs the world."
"I've seen a fin so drunk, they can't stuff a tennis ball up their butt!"
"I shall fart in your general direction."
"I did the entire hockey team last night, and BOY am I SORE!!!"
"They killed my husband and raped my goat!!"
"Oh Thatcher most definitely had a penis... and she used to whip it out and bang it on a table (makes banging noises)."
"Give me multiple, screaming orgasms, and then I might be your friend."
"He's too young to do the whores!!" - on Alex Pelkey
"I see you when your sleeping."
"This country needs an enema!!!"
"You know what I gave up for Lent once? Christianity."
"Sweet Jesus! I'm never having a daughter." - on seeing teens "dancing"
"Symbolic indicators are kind of like Elton John. They can go either way."
"I've been places where being butt-naked, hanging off a flag pole, and sing the Swedish national anthem isn't all that unusual."
"Clinton's like a bad case of crabs."