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GNOD: The Global Network of Dreams
Quotations |
|
Though your game is hardly the best You can fray your opponent's nerves By methodically bouncing the ball At least ten times before your serves. |
| Arnold J. Zarett |
| But that won't give me a free hand to hold the beer. |
| Billy Carter, while being taught a two-handed backhand shot |
| The cunning competitor plays on the other party's guilt. Continuously praise your opponent's shots, and you'll notice how he begins to press. Self-beratement also serves to balance a guilty conscience for being successful and makes your opponent disturbed for upsetting you so. If on occasion you call one of your opponent's "out" shots "in," then later on you can innocently call an "in" shot "out" on a crucial play. Practice saying "Good try," sincerely; then you can call a lot of close shots "out" and get away with it. |
| Theodor Saretsky | Tennis is not a gentle game. Psychologically, it is vicious. That people are only just beginning to come to terms with this fact illustrates just how big a con trick has been perpetrated on the non-playing tennis public--and even a few players, usually losing players--for decades. |
| Richard Evans |
| Everybody in Canada seemed to listen to what they enjoyed, and nobody could tell them what to like, or what was the popular, or what was the In thing. Even today, it is very hard to brainwash a Canadian. |
| Duke Ellington, US jazz performer, Music Is My Mistress 1973 |
| It's just amazing how many companies suddenly want you to hold up their products after you've held up the Stanley Cup. |
| Wayne Gretzy, Gretzky: An Autobiography (1990) w/ Rick Reilly |
| When the camera starts to roll, there is something of death about it. |
| Donald Sutherland, actor, Macleans 2 March 1981 |
| When you're a short actor you stand on apple boxes, you walk on a ramp. When you're a short star everybody else walks in a ditch. |
| Michael J. Fox, actor 5'5", Toronto Star 1 March 1991 |
| Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart. |
| CoEvolution Quarterly, Winter, 1977 Fred Allen |
| Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built. |
| James Allen |
| 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? |
| Anonymous |
| Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. |
| Anonymous |
| Buy a man a drink he drinks for a night. Teach a man to drink he drinks for a lifetime. |
| Anonymous |
| Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. |
| Anonymous |
| I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. |
| Anonymous |
| A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. |
| Anonymous |
| Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. |
| Anonymous |
| Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. |
| Anonymous |
| But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; In the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. |
| Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife, a week before his death in 1861, during the Civil War |
| It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. |
| Physiologie du Mariage [1829] Honoré de Balzac 1799-1850 |
| When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl. |
| Peter Pan James Matthew Barrie |
| On Broadway it was still bright afternoon and the gassy air was almost motionless under the leaden spokes of sunlight, and sawdust footprints lay about the doorways of butcher shops and fruit stores. And the great, great crowd, the inexhaustible current of millions of every race and kind pouring out, pressing round, of every age, of every genius, possessors of every human = secret, antique and future, in every face the refinement of one particular motive or essence--I labor, I spend, I strive, I design, I love, I cling, I uphold, I give way, I envy, I long, I scorn, I die, I hide, I want. Faster, much faster than any man could make the tally. The sidewalks were wider than any causeway; the street itself was immense, and it quaked and gleamed and it seemed...to throb at the last limit of endurance. |
| Seize the Day Saul Bellow |
| Son of man, keep not silent, forget not deeds of tyranny. Cry out at the disaster of a people, recount it unto your children and they unto theirs. From generation to generation the hordes swept in, ran wild and savage and there was no deliverance, valiance, and revolt. How the mighty are fallen, the great in spirit and stout of heart, walking to their death with a halo of eternity. |
| reference to the Holocaust Yehuda L. Bialer |
| Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. |
| Ambrose Bierce |
| There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from. |
| Josh Billings |
| To see a hillside white with dogwood bloom is to know a particular ecstasy of beauty, but to walk the gray Winter woods and find the buds which will resurrect that beauty in another May is to partake of continuity. |
| New York Times, November 28, 1948 Hal Borland |
| Can one be a saint if God does not exist? That is the only concrete problem I know of today. |
| The Plague (La Peste) [1947] Albert Camus 1913-1960 |
| The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory. |
| Other Voices, Other Rooms Truman Capote |
| Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song. |
| The Silent Spring, 1962 Rachel Carson |
| No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink. |
| G.K. Chesterton |
| Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. |
| Lady Astor to Winston Churchill |
| Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. |
| His reply |
| Sir, you are drunk. |
| Lady Astor to Winston Churchill |
| I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and in the morning I'll be sober. |
| His reply |
| Turn pimp, flatterer, quack, lawyer, parson, be chaplain to an atheist, or stallion to an old woman, anything but a poet; for a poet is worse, more servile, timorous and fawning than any I have named. |
| William Congreve |
| [In 1889] the last big tract of Indian land was declared open for settlement, in Oklahoma. The claimants and the speculators mounted their horses and lined up like trotters waiting for a starting gun. The itchy ones jumped the gun and were ever after known as Sooners--and Oklahoma was thereafter called the Sooner State. |
| America, 1973 Alistair Cooke |
| What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. |
| Crowfoot Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890 |
| The hair was a Vaseline cathedral, the mouth a touchingly uncertain sneer of allure. One, two-wham! Like a berserk blender the lusty young pelvis whirred and the notorious git-tar slammed forward with a jolt that symbolically deflowered a generation of teenagers and knocked chips off 90 million older shoulders. Then out of the half-melted vanilla face a wild black baritone came bawling in orgasmic lurches. Whu-huh-huh-huh f'the money! Two f'the show! Three t'git riddy naa GO CAAT GO! |
| on Elvis Presley, Life, Winter, 1977 Brad Darrach |
| If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. |
| David Daye |
| I want to tell you now about the insects to whom God gave “sensual lust.”…I am that insect, brother, and it is said of me especially. All we Karamazovs are such insects, and, angel as you are, that insect lives in you too, and will stir a tempest in your blood. Tempests, because sensual lust is a tempest—worse than a tempest! Beauty is a terrible and awful thing! It is terrible because it has not been fathomed, for God sets us nothing but riddles.1 Here the boundaries meet and all contradictions exist side by side. |
| The Brothers Karamazov [1879-1880], † bk. III, ch. 3 Fëdor Mikhailovich Dostoevski 1821-1881 |
| Man grows used to everything, the scoundrel! |
| Crime and Punishment [1866], † book I, ch. 2 Fëdor Mikhailovich Dostoevski 1821-1881 |
| What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? |
| W.C. Fields |
| They were ravished with its loveliness; a warm, soft-voiced spring-green landscape dotted with sassafras and scarlet-colored snakewood, smelling of wild strawberries and hart's tongue. |
| Virginia: A New Look at the Old Dominion, 1959 Marshall Fishwick |
| Most marvelous and enviable is that fecundity of fancy which can adorn what ever it touches, which can invest naked fact and dry reasoning with unlooked for beauty, make flowers bloom even on the brow of the precipice. |
| Margaret Fuller |
| When denying yourself pleasures, you're often doing nothing more than burying passion in a deep hiding place within yourself. |
| Kahlil Gibran |
| I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter, flowers in front of my window and a few pretty trees by my door. And should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those trees. |
| Heinrich Heine |
| I call'd the devil, and he came, And with awe his form I scan'd; He is not ugly, and is not lame, But really a handsome and charming man. A man in his prime of life is the devil, Obliging, a man of the world, and civil; A diplomatist too, well skill'd in debate, He speaks quite glibly of church and state. |
| Heinrich Heine |
| An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. |
| For Whom the Bell Tolls Ernest Hemingway |
| Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. |
| Ernest Hemingway |
| When the moon shall have faded out from the sky, and the sun shall shine at noonday a dull cherry red, and the seas shall be frozen over, and the icecap shall have crept downward to the equator from either pole . . . when all the cities shall have long been dead and crumbled into dust, and all life shall be on the last verge of extinction on this globe; then, on a bit of lichen, growing on the bald rocks beside the eternal snows of Panama, shall be seated a tiny insect, preening its antennae in the glow of the worn-out sun, the sole survivor of animal life on this our earth |
| a melancholy bug. |
| The Math Book W. J. Holland |
| A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used. |
| Towne v. Eisner, January 7, 1918 Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Melting pot Harlem--Harlem of honey and chocolate and caramel and rum and vinegar and lemon and lime and gall...where the subway from the Bronx keeps right on downtown. |
| Freedomways, Summer, 1963 Langston Hughes |
| The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. |
| Les Misérables [1862]. † Fantine, bk. V, ch. 4 Victor Hugo 1802-1885 |
| The real offense, as she ultimately perceived, was her having a mind of her own at all. Her mind was to be his—attached to his own like a small garden plot to a deer park. |
| The Portrait of a Lady [1881] Henry James 1843-1916 |
| Somewhere there was once a Flower, a Stone, a Crystal, a Queen, a King, a Palace, a Lover and his Beloved, and this was long ago, on an Island somewhere in the ocean 5,000 years ago....Such is Love, the Mystic Flower of the Soul. |
| This is the Center, the Self. Carl Jung |
| Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever. |
| On Death and Dying, 1969 Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross |
| It was cold out there, bitter, biting, cutting, piercing, hyperborean, marmoreal cold, and there were all these Minnesotans running around outdoors, happy as lambs in the spring. |
| Dateline America, 1979 Charles Kuralt |
| I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than it be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. |
| Jack London, 1916 |
| Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters. |
| Norman Maclean |
| A political convention is after all not a meeting of a corporation's board of directors; it is a fiesta, a carnival, a pig-rooting, horse-snorting, band-playing, voice-screaming medieval get-together of greed, practical lust, compromised idealism, career-advancement, meeting, feud, vendetta, conciliation, of rabble-rousers, fist fights (as it used to be), embraces, drunks (again as it used to be) and collective rivers of animal sweat. |
| Some Honorable Men: Political Conventions Norman Mailer |
| New York is one of the capitals of the world and Los Angeles is a constellation of plastic, San Francisco is a lady, Boston has become Urban Renewal, Philadelphia and Baltimore and Washington wink like dull diamonds in the smog of Eastern Megalopolis, and New Orleans is unremarkable past the French Quarter. Detroit is a one-trade town, Pittsburgh has lost its golden triangle, St. Louis has become the golden arch of the corporation, and nights in Kansas City close early. The oil depletion allowance makes Houston and Dallas naught but checkerboards for this sort of game. But Chicago is a great American city. Perhaps it is the last of the great American cities. |
| Miami and the Siege of Chicago, 1968 Norman Mailer |
| Speech is civilization itself. The word, even the most contradictory word, preserves contact—it is silence which isolates. |
| The Magic Mountain [1924], ch. 6 Thomas Mann 1875-1955 |
| The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody's fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind. |
| Katherine Mansfield |
| You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. |
| Dean Martin |
| If you walk along the main street on an August afternoon there is nothing whatsoever to do. |
| The Ballad of the Sad Cafe [1951] Carson [Smith] McCullers 1917-1967 |
| There are some people who read too much: The bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as others are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing. |
| H. L. Mencken |
| I brought a monkey to see you. He's so impressed, he's screaming. |
| 'Gormenghast' Mervyn Peake |
| Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're brown, you'll find out you're blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that means. Indigo. Indigoing. Indigone. |
| Tom Robbins |
| In the dark colony of night, when I consider man's magnificent capacity for malice, madness, folly, envy, rage, and destructiveness, and I wonder whether we shall not end up as breakfast for newts and polyps, I seem to hear the muffled cries of all the words in all the books with covers closed. |
| Leo Rosten |
| Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away. |
| Poetry Considered Carl Sandburg |
| We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us. |
| Jean-Paul Sartre |
| Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive! |
| Marmion [1808], canto VI, introduction, st. 17 Sir Walter Scott 1771-1832 |
| I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. |
| Frank Sinatra |
| But why wasn't I born, alas, in an age of Adjectives; why can one no longer write of silver-shedding Tears and moon-tailed Peacocks, of eloquent Death, of the Negro and star-enameled Night? |
| More Trivia: Adjectives, 1921 Logan Pearsall Smith |
| If we hadn't our bewitching autumn foliage, we should still have to credit the weather with one feature which compensates for all its bullying vagaries-the ice-storm: when a leafless tree is clothed with ice from the bottom to the top |
| ice that is as bright and clear as crystal; when every bough and twig is strung with ice-beads, frozen dew-drops, and the whole tree sparkles cold and white, like the Shah of Persia's diamond plume. Then the wind waves the branches and the sun comes out and turns all those myriads of beads and drops to prisms that glow and burn and flash with all manner of colored fires, which change and change again with inconceivable rapidity from blue to red, from red to green, and green to gold-the tree becomes a spraying fountain, a very explosion of dazzling jewels; and it stands there the acme, the climax, the supremest possibility in art or nature, of bewildering, intoxicating, intolerable magnificence. One cannot make the words too strong. |
| Mark Twain |
| Familiarity breeds contempt -and children. |
| Mark Twain |
| This is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the most satisfying to the eye and spirit. To see the sun sink down, drowned in his pink and purple and golden floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that make all the sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams, is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk with ecstasy. |
| Autobiography, 1924 Mark Twain |
| I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. |
| Tom Waits |
| There are two ways of spreading light: to be The candle or the mirror that reflects it. |
| Vesalius in Zante Edith [Newbold Jones] Wharton 1862-1937 |
| When you long with all your heart for someone to love you, a madness grows there that shakes all sense from the trees and the water and the earth. And nothing lives for you, except the long deep bitter want. And this is what everyone feels from birth to death. |
| Denton Welch |
| Work is the curse of the drinking classes. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true. |
| Woodrow Wilson |
| A tearing wind last night. A flurry of red clouds, hard, a water colour mass of purple and black, soft as a water ice, then hard slices of intense green stone, blue stone and a ripple of crimson light. |
| Virginia Woolf in her diary, August 17 1938 |
| The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. |
| William Butler Yeats |
| When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. |
| Henny Youngman |
| Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. |
| Catherine Zandonella |
| Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. |
| Groucho Marx |
| Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. |
| Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Winners never quit and quitters never win. |
| Vince Lombardi |
| Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. |
| Chess master Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower |
| Don't be so humble |
| you are not that great. |
| Golda Meir to a visiting diplomat |
| His ignorance is encyclopedic. |
| Abba Eban |
| If a man does his best, what else is there? |
| General George S. Patton |
| Parenthood remains the single greatest refuge for the amateur. |
| Alvin Toffler |
| I'll sleep when I'm dead. |
| Warren Zevon |
| I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. |
| A. J. Liebling |
| People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. |
| Soren Aabye Kierkegaard |
| Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. |
| Saint Augustine |
| Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. |
| Albert Einstein |
| Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. |
| Albert Einstein |
| The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from. |
| Andrew S. Tanenbaum |
| A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. |
| Sir Winston Churchill |
| I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. |
| Galileo Galilei |
| The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. |
| Emile Zola |
| This book fills a much-needed gap. |
| Moses Hadas in a review |
| The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. |
| definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy |
| I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. |
| E.E. Cummings |
| Give me a museum and I'll fill it. |
| Pablo Picasso |
| Assassins! |
| Arturo Toscanini to his orchestra |
| I'll moider da bum. |
| heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare |
| In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. |
| Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut |
| I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. |
| Thomas Jefferson |
| Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. |
| Rene Descartes, Discours de la Methode |
| In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. |
| Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. |
| Henry Ford |
| Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. |
| Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back |
| The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. |
| Bertrand Russell |
| Wit is educated insolence. |
| Aristotle |
| My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. |
| Socrates |
| Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. |
| Ambrose Bierce |
| A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. |
| Gore Vidal |
| Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. |
| Antoine de St. Exupery |
| Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. |
| Samuel Palmer |
| It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. |
| Albert Einstein |
| The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. |
| Aristotle Onassis |
| Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. |
| Guy Davenport |
| When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. |
| Sir Winston Churchill |
| Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. |
| Sir Winston Churchill |
| The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. |
| Niels Bohr |
| We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? |
| Niels Bohr |
| When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. |
| R. Buckminster Fuller |
| In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. |
| Paul Dirac |
| I would have made a good Pope. |
| Richard M. Nixon |
| Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. |
| John von Neumann |
| The mistakes are all waiting to be made. |
| chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower on the game's opening position |
| It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. |
| Aristotle |
| Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. |
| Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands |
| Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. |
| Albert Einstein |
| One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. |
| Bertrand Russell |
| A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. |
| H. H. Munro (Saki) |
| Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. |
| Albert Einstein |
| What do you take me for, an idiot? |
| Gen. Charles de Gaulle, when a journalist asked him if he was happy |
| I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. |
| Bill Hirst |
| Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. |
| Jean-Paul Sartre |
| A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. |
| Frank Lloyd Wright |
| It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. |
| George Bernard Shaw |
| If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. |
| Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
| A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. |
| John F. Kennedy |
| Logic is in the eye of the logician. |
| Gloria Steinem |
| No one can earn a million dollars honestly. |
| William Jennings Bryan |
| Everything has been figured out, except how to live. |
| Jean-Paul Sartre |
| Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. |
| Martin Fraquhar Tupper |
| Thank you for sending me a copy of your book |
| I'll waste no time reading it. |
| Moses Hadas |
| From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. |
| Groucho Marx |
| It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| When ideas fail, words come in very handy. |
| Goethe |
| In the end, everything is a gag. |
| Charlie Chaplin |
| The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. |
| Lucille S. Harper |
| You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. |
| Yogi Berra |
| I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. |
| Walt Disney |
| He who hesitates is a damned fool. |
| Mae West |
| Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. |
| Gail Godwin |
| University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. |
| Henry Kissinger |
| The graveyards are full of indispensable men. |
| Gen. Charles de Gaulle |
| You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. |
| Sacha Guitry |
| Behind every great fortune there is a crime. |
| Honore de Balzac |
| If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. |
| Aristotle Onassis |
| I am not young enough to know everything. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. |
| General George S. Patton |
| Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. |
| Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| There is no sincerer love than the love of food. |
| George Bernard Shaw |
| I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. |
| Katherine Cebrian |
| I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. |
| Steven Wright |
| Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour. |
| Gioacchino Rossini |
| Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. |
| Oliver Herford |
| I have read your book and much like it. |
| Moses Hadas |
| The covers of this book are too far apart. |
| Ambrose Bierce |
| Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. |
| Flannery O'Connor |
| Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. |
| Igor Stravinsky |
| Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. |
| Voltaire |
| When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. |
| Mae West |
| I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. |
| Elvis Presley |
| No Sane man will dance. |
| Cicero |
| Hell is a half-filled auditorium. |
| Robert Frost |
| Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. |
| Carl Gustav Jung |
| Vote early and vote often. |
| Al Capone |
| If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? |
| Abraham Lincoln |
| Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. |
| Mark Twain |
| Hell is other people. |
| Jean-Paul Sartre |
| I am become death, shatterer of worlds. |
| Robert J. Oppenheimer citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion |
| Happiness is good health and a bad memory. |
| Ingrid Bergman |
| Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. |
| Thomas Jones |
| You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. |
| Al Capone |
| The gods too are fond of a joke. |
| Aristotle |
| Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. |
| Henry David Thoreau |
| It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. |
| Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell |
| Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. |
| Robert Orben |
| The cynics are right nine times out of ten. |
| Henry Louis Mencken |
| There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. |
| George Bernard Shaw |
| Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. |
| Plato Plato was a bore. |
| Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. |
| Leo Tolstoy |
| I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. |
| Ernest Hemingway |
| Hemingway was a jerk. |
| Harold Robbins |
| How can I lose to such an idiot? |
| shout from chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich |
| Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. |
| Woody Allen |
| I don't feel good. |
| last words of Luther Burbank |
| Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. |
| Ross Macdonald |
| Men have become the tools of their tools. |
| Henry David Thoreau |
| I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. |
| Mark Twain |
| It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. |
| Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines |
| I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. |
| Woody Allen |
| Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. |
| Abba Eban |
| To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me. |
| Charles William Stubbs |
| Sanity is a madness put to good uses. |
| George Santayana |
| Imitation is the sincerest form of television. |
| Fred Allen |
| Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest. |
| Mark Twain |
| In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. |
| Adlai Stevenson |
| Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. |
| Wilson Mizner |
| Why don't you write books people can read? |
| Nora Joyce to her husband James |
| Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. |
| T. S. Eliot |
| Criticism is prejudice made plausible. |
| Henry Louis Mencken |
| It is better to be quotable than to be honest. |
| Tom Stoppard |
| Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. |
| Karl Wallenda |
| Opportunities multiply as they are seized. |
| Sun Tzu |
| A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. |
| Lao-Tzu |
| The best way to predict the future is to invent it. |
| Alan Kay |
| Never mistake motion for action. |
| Ernest Hemingway |
| Hell is paved with good samaritans. |
| William M. Holden |
| The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. |
| George Bernard Shaw |
| Silence is argument carried out by other means. |
| Ernesto Che Guevara |
| Well done is better than well said. |
| Benjamin Franklin |
| The average person thinks he isn't. |
| Father Larry Lorenzoni |
| Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. |
| William Congreve |
| A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. |
| Helen Rowland |
| Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. |
| Perelman |
| The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. |
| Henry David Thoreau |
| There is a country is Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. |
| Sigfried Hulzer |
| Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. |
| Carl Friedrich Gauss, while working, when informed that his wife is dying |
| A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. |
| Sir Winston Churchill |
| I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. |
| Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 |
| I think it would be a good idea. |
| Mahatma Ghandi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization |
| The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. |
| Edmund Burke |
| I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! |
| Will Rogers |
| If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? |
| Will Rogers |
| The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. |
| Von Clausewitz |
| Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. |
| Irving Kristol |
| There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. |
| Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 |
| 640K ought to be enough for anybody. |
| Bill Gates, 1981 |
| The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. |
| Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith later founded Federal Express Corporation) |
| Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? |
| H.M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 |
| We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. |
| Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles in 1962 |
| Everything that can be invented has been invented. |
| Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 |
| Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. |
| Mark Twain |
| A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. |
| General George S. Patton |
| After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. |
| Cato the Elder (a.k.a. Marcus Porcius Cato) |
| He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. |
| Abraham Lincoln |
| The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. |
| George Bernard Shaw |
| Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. |
| last words of Pancho Villa |
| The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. |
| Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. |
| Tom Clancy |
| It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. |
| Mark Twain |
| It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. |
| Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince |
| Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. |
| Benjamin Franklin |
| There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole. |
| Bill Wulf |
| There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. |
| Flannery O'Connor |
| A poem is never finished, only abandoned. |
| Paul Valery |
| Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis. |
| Pierre Laplace to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God |
| I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. |
| Francois-Auguste Rodin when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues |
| The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. |
| Mark Twain |
| The truth is more important than the facts. |
| Frank Lloyd Wright |
| Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. |
| Wernher Von Braun |
| There are only two tradgies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. |
| George Santayana |
| There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. |
| Albert Einstein |
| This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. |
| William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 3 |
| I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. |
| Tom Clancy |
| You know 'that look women get when they want sex?...... Me neither. |
| Steve Martin |
| Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. |
| Woody Allen |
| Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. |
| Rodney Dangerfield |
| There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL. |
| Lynn Lavner |
| Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. |
| George Burns |
| Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. |
| Sharon Stone |
| My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. |
| Jack Nicholson |
| Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is, |
| Barbara Bush |
| Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. |
| Robin Williams |
| Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. |
| Roseanne |
| Women need a reason to have sex. ! Men just need a place. |
| Billy Crystal |
| There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? |
| Dustin Hoffman |
| Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. |
| Rod Stewart |
| See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. |
| Robin Williams |
| Canada is useful only to provide me with fur. |
| Madame de Pompadour 1721-1764 |
| It’s beige! It’s my colour! |
| On first seeing the Acropolis. Elsie DeWolfe 1865-1950 |
| No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting. |
| Lady Mary Wortley Montagu |
| We again repeat that we will not accept any stories where runaway horses or upsetting of boats is necessary to the denouement. |
| Sarah Josepha Hale |
| It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead. |
| Rose Macaulay |
| This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. |
| Dorothy Parker |
| Incessant company is as bad as solitary confinement. |
| Virginia Woolf |
| Superior people never make long visits. |
| Marianne Moore |
| Good taste is the worst vice ever invented. |
| Edith Sitwell |
| There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are interesting monologues, that is all. |
| Rebecca West |
| Scratch a lover and find a foe. |
| Dorothy Parker |
| Where’s the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown? |
| Dorothy Parker |
| Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. |
| Hedy Lamarr |
| An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. |
| George Eliot |
| Monarchs ought to put to death the authors and instigators of war, as their own enemies and as dangers to their states. |
| Elizabeth I |
| I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. |
| Rebecca West |
| The hardest task in a girl’s life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. |
| Helen Rowland |
| Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. |
| Isadora Duncan |
| Every murderer is probably somebody’s old friend. |
| Agatha Christie |
| All autobiographies are alibi-ographies. |
| Clare Boothe Luce |
| A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. |
| Virginia Woolf |
| What a sense of superiority it gives to one to escape reading some book which everyone else is reading. |
| Alice James (Henry James’ sister) |
| I don’t care for Osbert’s prose; the rhododendrons grow to such height in it. |
| Virginia Woolf. |
| I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. |
| Virginia Woolf |
| It goes far towards reconciling me to being a woman when I reflect I am thus in no danger of marrying one. |
| Lady Mary Wortley Montagu |
| To lead the people, walk behind them. |
| Lao-Tzu |
September 11, 2007
© kjaszewski 2007. all rights reserved.