crazy lists.. like how to jump off a building.. and such..
*Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
*Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
*Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
*Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
*On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.
*Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
*Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
*Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
*When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
*Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
*On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
*One word: Flatulence!
*Leave a box between the doors.
*Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce,
"I've got new socks on!"
*When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
*Give religious literature to each passenger.
*Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
*Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops! uh.. do you have a napkin?"
*Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
*Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
*Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
*Meow and/or growl at the other passengers occasionally.
*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
*If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
*A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
*Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
*The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
*Polar bears are left handed.
*The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
*The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
*A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to Its body. the female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
*Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
*Butterflies taste with their feet.
*An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
*Starfish don't have brains.
