11.1.2k1: 3:41a.m- Ladies, gentlemen and Stick People! It’s time once again time for Niteshift. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s my favorite show. Your almost on time hosts are Mike Sargent and Byron Saunders. We are treated to the classic Herb Alpert bit during the instrumental introduction. Will this week’s show be interspersed with more vintage material?

Open Phone Lines: I know that the lines are open throughout the show, but this is the period before the guys start reading LISF items and the callers say what they want.

Jeff calls in and contributes ever so little.

Nocturnal introduces his cousin, Kane to the show. Just two weeks later, Kane came within inches of winning the Royal Rumble. Better luck next year, big man.

Life Is Like Science Fiction

-Farm animals consume eight times as many antibiotics as human beings in the United States. In addition, 70% of all antibiotics made in the U.S. are used to fatten up our livestock.

Jerome from Brooklyn calls in and asks for a synopsis of what Life is Like Science Fiction is all about.

Mike’s response: “ Life is like science fiction is the concept that the life you are living now...the news you will hear on this show proves that reality has transcended what it once was. Things have become not unlike a a science-fiction movie, where things that were once considered fantastical...The world’s frogs are dying. A mysterious illness is killing turtles....And if that’s just giving you an inkling.  If you don’t get that now, stay tuned.”

-Cattle dealers blocked French roads in protest of the government’s handling of the crisis over Mad Cow Disease.

-Two small, early drug experiments in NYC may lead to the first ever cure for advanced prostate cancer.

-NASA plans to attempt a landing on the asteroid Eros in February.

-A Brazilian physician asserts that menstruation is obsolete.  In his treatise on menses, it is suggested that doctors teach women to suppress all but four of their periods each year....

- A colony of cannibalistic ants has been found in Madagascar.

Zakia expresses her view on the use of hormones to suppress menstruation.

-A state law signed by Governor Pataki has resulted in only three counties adopting laws requiring neighbors to be notified before pesticides are applied commercially nearby.

-The EPA says that 23% of U.S. kids face environmental health threats .

-Listener contribution: New York City used 11 million pounds of pesticide last year.

A caller lets us know that he’ll be listening to Nightwatch every week.

Yoda mentions Mad Tauntaun Disease. I knew it wasn’t the cold weather that was killing those things on Hoth!

Noc starts making alien noises and my tape player starts making fast forwarding noises.

-Mike works some Sheryl Crow into the mix this week. And since I’m all about accuracy this week:

I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice
Jump in, let's go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low,
These are the days when anything goes

Every day is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Every day is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Anyway...

-Canadian climatologists say that temperatures across the country were above normal for the eight straight year.

-Greenpeace warned that a French state nuclear reprocessing firm was about to send a shipment of nuclear fuel to Japan that contained enough plutonium to make twenty atomic bombs.

-Italy has asked NATO to introduce a moratorium on the use of depleted uranium ammunition until the alliance is that it wasn’t linked to leukemia among soldiers exposed to it.

-U.N. staff and peacekeeping troops in Kosovo may consider marking or sealing off sites where depleted uranium munitions are known to have been used.

-U.S. Secretary of State Madeline Albright again played down European concern over possible health risks from depleted uranium in armor piercing weapons used in NATO’s 1999 bombing of Yugoslavia.

-Australia’s two largest airlines announced that they will print health warnings on their tickets about the danger of potentially deadly blots clots for passengers on long, cramped flights.

Mike and Byron angle for some free baked goods from caller Don Salami.

-A South African man was able to thwart a python attack by biting the snake.

-Australian authorities were baffled by reports of bright lights and booming noises in the night sky which shook houses and prompted fear of falling space junk or meteorites.

-A woman divorcing her rich husband is using DNA to attempt to prove that he was involved in a tryst with another woman.  Proving it would trigger a clause in their pre-nuptial agreement that would mean millions for her.

Sidney makes an appearance in studio and weighs in on the Stick People issue.

-A super-cluster of galaxies and quasars massed together over 600 million light years of space is the largest structure in the visible universe.

-China is instituting a forestation project to help prevent the flooding of the Yangtze River. When Mike mentions that pine trees are being planted on terraces where rice used to grow, Sidney delivers the line of the night, “Well, they can’t eat pine.” Indeed.  And before I can stop laughing at that one...

“The biggest block of crystal meth ever found in San Francisco is now being consumed by a motorcycle gang.” To steal a phrase from Swan, LOL!! OMG!! ROFLMAO!!

Actually....

-Scientists have found a crystal believed to be 4.3 billion years old, making it the oldest known solid.

-Joseph412