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3-23-00: It's 3:53 a.m EST (3:30 CPT) and we are live from New York city. Are they seven minutes early or twenty-three minutes late? Ah, who cares. It's time for Nightshift! When Opie and Anthony die, it'll be my favorite show too! After 20 minutes of mood music (including about 30 seconds of my favorite Sneaker Pimps song, "6 Underground"), it's time for someone to start talking.

    Your hosts are Mike Sargent, Byron Saunders and live from home, Gabrielle "Surfree" Gabrielle. Mike informs us at the outset that he and Byron broadcasting from their domiciles this week as well. Moments after being booted up, Surfree makes it known that the camcam now refreshes every 20 seconds. Pleasantries are exchanged and it's time for my favorite portion of the show. Open phone lines a.k.a Loading up the Shuttlecraft a.k.a. an opportunity for some loser to let loose a few seconds of profanity before being cut off.

Highlights:

David from Brooklyn submitting Rudy Joke #29,783,045.
Q:What's the difference between a cactus and Rudy Giuliani and in a stretch Mercedes?
A: The limo has a prick on the inside. On the INSIDE!!!

-Jeff claiming to agree with Gab on the old Hurricane issue. The sarcasm was just dripping from my speaker. Later, he called and went back to what he does best: Pining for Andrea's return.

-Mike from Queens, member of the Britney Spears Street Team, did a little shilling for his favorite recording artist. She did a cover of "The Beat Goes On" on her multi-platinum album "...Baby One More Time", you know.

and of course.......

-Some Loser getting on the air five times and spewing a little foul language. I won't even bother repeating any of the shit that fucking asshole said.

After the hosts do a little complaining about the price of cigs in New York and Gabby fits in a plug for a certain ISP, we move on to....

Segment Two: For your information, boxes of Marlboro cigarettes have the letters "KKK" cleverly hidden on each side. Not an interesting topic, but Mike got his point across. Don't let that stupid flood commercial fool you (so what they bottled water instead of beer one time), Philip Morris is bad.

Segment Three: Life Is (Like) Science Fiction.

-Anthropologists have discovered 45 million year old fossils of tiny primates in Eastern China.

-A dispute between Interstate Bakeries and the Teamsters Union
threatens to cause Twinkie shortage in the Northeast. Fortunately, that crisis was averted over the weekend.

-Chat room newcomer Minxee im's the show to let us know that Philip Morris also makes Australian delicacy, Vegemite.

-Researches have isolated the protein that causes memory loss in Alzheimer's patients.

That's about all. See you in the chatroom tonight.

-Joseph412-