jallenmartin
Donny ‘Big D’ Sloan was a small guy. Intelligent, witty, and clean-cut, he still felt that something was missing when he looked at himself in the mirror.
“It’s my arms,” he said, “they are too small.”
Donny looked in the mirror, flexed and frowned. He just wanted his arms to bulge under his shirtsleeves.
He said this about once a week at first, then he started noticing it more and more. Finally, every time he saw himself in the mirror, he’d flex and then frown.
The day finally came when he decided to do something about his girlish biceps. “My arms are too small for me to go to the gym,” he thought. He did push-ups everyday before work and every afternoon. “Just until I get big enough that I won’t be embarrassed at the gym,” he thought.
Weeks of strenuously lifting his own lightweight body and still no signs of improvement. “The Internet,” thought Big D, “The Internet will have some advice.”
And so Donny ‘Big D’ Sloan waded through pages of crap and finally found some WebPages with decent advice. “Oh, I see,” he thought, “it is all about dieting and resting. Now I’ll start to see an improvement.”
And so Donny started eating all the time, and eating the nastiest stuff he’d ever had. His diet: lots of protein, very little carbs -eggs and tuna everyday, steak once a week, lots of fish and chicken and very little of anything that wasn’t bland.
Combine his new, healthier diet with plenty of rest and the proper amount of exercise (he was also lifting weights in his room now) and the results were thus: no change.
Desperate, Donny purchased the shady ‘miracle’ products that promised bigger muscles. The only difference now was that he had less money. He drank protein shakes, and all that happened was he had a bad taste in his mouth all day long.
Donny looked in the mirror, flexed and frowned. He just wanted his arms to bulge under his shirtsleeves.
Soon, he became so obsessed that he measured the circumference of his arms twice a day and wrote it down. The same, shamefully small number of inches was recorded every day, but he continued to watch for an improvement.
Now, Donny Sloan had always been a pretty good guy; he didn’t smoke and he didn’t drink too much and he’d never tried any drugs. Donny didn’t even like to take Tylenol. Desperate times call for desperate measure, and it wasn’t too hard to find someone that knew someone else that could get him some steroids that were ‘guaranteed’ to make him huge.
Don took the drugs and ate the crappy food and worked and worked on his arms.
Donny looked in the mirror, flexed and frowned. He just wanted his arms to bulge under his shirtsleeves.
Near the end of the year, Donny finally found the solution. He had an epiphany while dreaming one night and the answer seemed so apparent now. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? He woke up, laughed, didn’t do a single pushup, ate a box of Donettes and poured out the Protein Shake he had prepared the day before. He threw the ‘roids into the trash. Donny drove to the store, purchased the smallest tee shirt he could find, and raced back home. As he walked through the door, he changed into the new, very little shirt.
Donny looked in the mirror, flexed and smiled. He just wanted his arms to bulge under his shirtsleeves.