This site includes quotes or stories that I believe are REALLY funny. If you have any quotes you think I should post, please IM me at XShortPerson35X (AIM) and tell me for possible consideration. Thank you and enjoy the quotes!
From PAHighways.com (Jeff Kitsko), this is from James Willinger:
"Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, 'This driver is just dangerous as a speeder!' So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies--two in the front seat and three in the back--wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, 'Officer, I don't understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?'
'Ma'am', the officer replies, 'you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.'
'Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!' the old woman says a bit proudly.
The officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. 'Before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time', the officer asks.
'Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.' "
HAHA :) this is located at PA Highways Ha Ha Page (Jeff Kitsko)
MOVIE QUOTES
Rat Race:
Enrico Pollini: " (Gasp) Little cockdoggies!"
Veera's Daughter: "They're called cocktail weenies."
Enrico: "Weenies. My english is not so good, but I'm learning! (Eats weenie)"
(More possibly to come from Rat Race---check back soon)
Liar Liar:
"VERY FUNNY FLETCHER! You wanna play hardball, I'm game."
::Fletcher (Jim Carrey) Imitates in a funny voice::
"You wanna play hardball, I'm game."
Mr Yamamoto's Pict Mission
Where C C Slater (aka Yamamoto) has his Taconic Parkway Road Trip photo pages, on one photo he says: " Note the nice hole developing in the outside lane. It told me when it grows up, it wants to eat a Kia Rio." :) FUNNY
(more quotes to come)
UPDATED June 16, 2003 11:31 am