Life on the farm in winter wasn't all that interesting, even to the pigs. They spent most of their time eating, as usual but there wasn't much else to do. So when Helen the Hen strapped on a pair of ice stakes and attempted to glide smoothly across the frozen watering hole, well, the pigs laughed so hard they almost wet their pants. And I'm sure you've figured out by now that there's a male involved in this story. Why else would a silly hen like Helen try to learn the blessed art of ice skating.
    "Whooo-eee!" Chester the Pig cried early one frozen morning. "She's at it again, boys! I can't wait to see this!"
    The pigs crowded next to the fence and watched as Helen the Hen finished pulling on her ice skates. She was about as skinny as a broomstick with legs about as thick as pencils.
    "She needs a couple more handfuls of feathers on her skinny little behind," Paddy the Pig snorted. "That way it won't hurt so much when she falls."
    All the pigs roared at this one. Helen the Hen paused and looked at the pigs.
    "Oh good gracious," she snapped. "Don't you porkers have anything better to do than watch me ice skate. Why don't you slop around in the mud for a change. Animals!"
    "Because you is so graceful," one of the pigs shouted and all of the others couldn't stop laughing.
    Helen tip-toed out onto the ice, her skates wobbling and scratching at the smooth surface. As soon as she got to the middle, both feet flew out from under her and she landed in a heap.
    About that time, Roy the Rooster strutted over to the ice.
    "Hello, honey," he said. "I hope you didn't hurt yourself."
    "Why, thank you Roy," Helen said, batting her eyelashes. "I'm afraid I might have snapped by tender little chicken foot in two, if you know what I mean, and I certainly would appreciate a little help in getting up."
    "Oh, brother," Chester the Pig groaned. "I think I'm going to get sick here."
    As Roy helped Helen to her feet, the hen stuck out her tongue at the pigs and made a nasty face.
    "Why thank you, Roy," Helen said. "How sweet of you."
    "It was nothin', my dear," Roy the Rooster said.
    Suddenly, Helen's legs went out from under her and she landed in a pile of feathers on the ice.
    "Whoa! Way to go, Graceful!" Paddy laughed.
    "Do that one again," Chester cried. "I liked that!"
    The other pigs laughed and laughed.
    "Here, now!" Roy the Rooster said. "Have some respect for the little lady."
    "Right," another pig said. "Respect for a chicken on ice!"
    "She's about as graceful," Chester the Pig shouted, "as . . . as . . . well, I don't know. . ."
    "As a pig on ice skates!" Paddy the Pig said.
    Suddenly the other pigs grew quiet.
    Helen pulled herself up and faced the herd of subdued swine.
    "Now it's not so funny, is it!" she said. "Yeah! At least I'm trying to ice skate. Any barnyard creature can stand there and make fun, but it takes a lot of courage and self-confidence to try it, doesn't it mister pig face?! Why don't you try it, Chester? See if you can do a better job than I can."
    "Now, now," Roy the Rooster said.
    "I'm serious. Let them get their hammocks over here and try it. Put your money where your mouth is."
    "Go on, Chester," Paddy said. "Give it a try."
    "Sure," another pig said. "It can't be that hard to ice skate."
    Chester looked at his pals, looked at the ice and then grinned.
    "All right, I'll do it!"
    "Yahoo!" they all cried.
    Paddy boosted his pig pal over the fence and said, "Helen, you'd better get your skinny legs off the ice, girl. Make way for Chester!"
    Chester put on four ice skates and ventured out onto the ice. He didn't last a minute before he was slipping and sliding all over the place. Even Helen the Hen was laughing so hard she had to sit down before she fell over.
    "That's it, brother!" Paddy yelled.
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa-a-a-a-a!" Chester cried as he slipped from one end of the watering hole to the other. "I can't stop! I can't stop!"
    Wham!
    Chester fell to the ice with all the force of a falling automobile. Everyone roared at that sight!
    "All right! All right! What's going on here?"
    It was Farmer Wilson and he didn't look very happy at all.
    "Oh, well. . . " Chester said as he pulled up himself up. "We were just trying out these ice stakes, you see and . . . "
    "Well, that's enough of that!" Farmer Wilson said. "All of you: get back to work. This is a working farm here, not some pleasure farm for your amusement. Roy, three hens have been asking for you over by the barn. They can't even find their nests, the bird brains. And Helen! I don't know what you think you're doing. I want a dozen eggs from you by sunrise tomorrow. As for you Chester, get those silly ice skates off your feet and get back to your slop. Let's break it up, folks, and get back to work."
    Well, the party was over and on top of that, Farmer Wilson was in a terrible mood. All the animals kept out of his way all day long and he walked around in the cold weather with a scowl on his face.
    Late that night, Chester woke up from a sound sleep and heard something in the barnyard. It sounded like laughter and it sounded like Farmer Wilson doing it. Chester made his way outside to the trough for a late night snack and heard the sound again. Looking over towards the frozen pond, he was someone. It was Farmer Wilson and he was ice skating. He was laughing and falling down and having such a wonderful time.
    "Working farm, my pork chops," Chester said and then went back to bed to dream of skating again.