From: Stacy Barrington <palomino1975@y...>
Date: Tue Feb 25, 2003 11:53 pm
Subject: Trading Spaces Underground (Part Five)




Here's the last part, everyone! It's been a blast
but this zany story must come to an end sometime.


--


(*Day two of the show. Paige is standing outside,
addressing the camera.*)

PAIGE: Well, it's day two. Frank and his team
spent all day cleaning yesterday so they probably
didn't get any decorating done, but Doug and his team
seem to be finished now.

(*Cut to Jareth's throne room. The walls and floor
are now sparkling pure white, with an iridescence like
mother-of-pearl.*)

PAIGE: (*Dumbfounded.*) Wow! Frank, you actually
got around to decorating!

FRANK: No we didn't, Paige. This is the result of
cleaning up.

HOGGLE: Yeah, apparently this is what the castle's
really supposed to look like when it's clean.

SIR DIDYMUS: Shall we all decorate now?

FRANK: No way. We're all tired from scrubbing out
chicken and goblin dung. Let's get out of here.

HOGGLE: I'm with you.

(*Everyone walks out, leaving Paige behind.*)

PAIGE: Well, guess it's time to check on Doug and
his team.

--

(*Hoggle's sitting room. The walls are now a
disgusting mud brown color with lime green trim and
have the moss print wallpaper borders.*)

PAIGE: Hey, where is everybody?

(*Doug emerges from behind the new shelving unit
which is now littered with Hoggle's knicknacks.*)

DOUG: (*Upset.*) Don't let him get me, Paige!

PAIGE: Doug, what the hell's wrong with you?

DOUG: (*He runs over to Paige and put his hands on
her shoulders.*) Ty forced me to do something really
horrible!

PAIGE: Doug, get a hold of yourself! What did he
do?

DOUG: He, he made me work! I had to install the
shelving unit and put all those shiny trinkets in it!

PAIGE: (*Faking sympathy.*) Oh, that bastard. So
where are Jareth and Sarah?

(*Loud moaning is coming from within the broom
closet. Paige cautiously goes over and taps on the
door.*)

PAIGE: Are you two in there?

JARETH: (*From inside the closet.*) Just coming!

(*A few minutes later Jareth opens the door. His
clothes are on crooked.*)

JARETH: What is it, Paige?

PAIGE: Where's Sarah?

JARETH: She's in there. She's just having a lie
down. What do you want?

PAIGE: Since both rooms are finished it's time for
the teams to take a look at them. Wait a minute,
where's Ty?

JARETH: Oh, I paid him to force Doug to work. He's
likely out shopping right now.

--

(*Paige and Frank are standing in the newly-cleaned
throne room.*)

PAIGE: How much did you spend cleaning up to make
this room look so good?

FRANK: I actually went over budget buying cleaning
supplies.

PAIGE: Where are all the chickens and goblins?

FRANK: Outside, and if Jareth's smart he'll keep
them there, unless he really likes having dung and
rotten food everywhere.

--

(*Paige brings Jareth and Sarah into the throne
room. Their eyes are closed.*)

PAIGE: It took a lot of work to get this place
looking so great. Open your eyes.

(*Jareth and Sarah open their eyes and are astounded
at the sight of the pure white room.*)

SARAH: Damn! It looks like the white castle in the
climactic scene of The Dark Crystal!

JARETH: (*Still in shock.*) Yes, it does! I
forgot how my castle was really supposed to look.

PAIGE: So, are you happy, guys?

JARETH: Indeed. (*He eyes Sarah in a naughty
way.*) This calls for a celebration. (*He picks
Sarah up and starts to carry her upstairs. He looks
back at Paige.*) Paige, get out.

PAIGE: (*Sarcastically.*) You're welcome.

--

(*Paige and Doug are sitting at the table in
Hoggle's sitting room.*)

PAIGE: So, you actually worked on some of this room
yourself?

DOUG: (*Sulking.*) Yeah, but only because everyone
made me.

PAIGE: At least you're under budget. I'm proud of
you.

DOUG: No you're not.

PAIGE: Okay, I admit it, I'm not. You're such a
jerk, you know. It's about time you got off your ass
and did something.

--

(*Paige brings Hoggle and Sir Didymus into the
sitting room, then tells them to open their eyes.*)

PAIGE: How do you like your new room, Hoggle?

HOGGLE: (*Surveying the new look.*) It's nice. I
got me shelves for me trinkets.

SIR DIDYMUS: Yes, but the walls are more of a
dysentery color, not mud brown, Sir Hoggle.

HOGGLE: Nah, it's close enough.

PAIGE: So, are you happy?

HOGGLE: Yeah. Just stop being so damn perky,
Paige.

(*Jareth and Sarah walk in.*)

JARETH: So, pleased with your shit-colored walls,
Hogface?

SARAH: Jareth! Don't be so mean!

JARETH: I wasn't being mean, Sarah. The room does
look like someone smeared excrement everywhere.

HOGGLE: (*Mockingly.*) I like it just fine, Your
Majesty.

JARETH: Yes, I thought you would. Oh, and the
castle looks fine even though nobody actually
decorated in there.

HOGGLE: Maybe if you hadn't let it get so dirty in
there we would have spent less time cleaning up so we
could have decorated.

(*Jareth picks Hoggle up and thumps him on the
nose.*)

PAIGE: (*To camera.*) Well, it's nice to see
everyone so happy. See you next time on Trading
Spaces, when we go to Hell. (*She looks at Jareth and
Hoggle having it out.*) Looks like we've already gone
there.



*the end*