Who Am I?

As a boy becomes a man the question haunts him

He has no answer to the children that taunt him

So he loses himself in the most popular trends

Hides behind new clothes trying to pretend

That he is just like everyone else, but he is only a sheep

Stuck in these shallow waters and afraid to go deep

Inside past the loneliness, fear, and pride

And the already forming temptation of suicide

Instead of his body, he kills his self

Beginning the path to his own living hell

He loses himself in pathetic fits of rage

Because he knows the walls of school are just a cage

He loses that light that separates him from the rest

The fights lead to theft and now he is under arrest

Locked away in a real cage at such a young age

As more light is put out it leaves him deranged

Depressed, neurotic, angry, and psychotic

So lets add some pot, some coke, even narcotics

And a handful of LSD so this little boy will see

His worst nightmares come to life in a haze of insanity

But now he has an identity and he can stand tall

No longer do they fuck with him as he walks the halls

Because they know if they push he will push back

Very soon they would find themselves under attack

Then he realizes that he has got it all wrong

Only through his spirit will he ever be strong

He finally looks inside and sees the black hole

He tries to fill it by searching his soul

He cries out to God praying to be heard

And he is answered by the whispered Word

He changes his life overnight trying to fight

The darkness that is killing his inner light

But no matter what he does he keeps falling down

From the heaven he thought he had finally found

The darkness knows the boy isn’t strong enough

To stand up and fight when the going is rough

So the boy closes his eyes and covers his ears

Turns his back on the answer and his black fears

He is asleep even when he is awake

Dreaming of a different life but afraid to make

It real because it would require him to feel

And already he knows his fate is sealed

He remembers a time several years ago

When he had the courage to just let go

Of his fear, his hate, his drugs, his hell,

Of all the shit just long enough to tell

The girl of his dreams that she is his world

That he would do anything if she is his girl

He still remembers this moment with such clarity

He leaned in and kissed her lost in the sea

Of her beautiful eyes and soft embrace

And the different emotions that crossed her face

Surprise, then joy, then sweet sadness

Then she said the two words that drove him to madness

I can’t. 

Maybe it wasn’t his parents or his friends,

Not the drugs or trying to pretend

When true love is turned down

The light goes out and can never be found

The dreamer stops dreaming and wakes

To a world of people, a world of fakes

People so lonely, so miserable, so sad

Because each of them mourns the light they once had