Turn 'em and Burn 'em.
This is a "you touch it you bought it" store, and you don't have enough money.
I understand some "baggage," but he's got a 115lb TRUNK on its way from Spain.
If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it.
"How come everyone I date is crazy? Why can't any of them just be normal?" -Me
"Because you're straight; you don't date women." -Cindy
*Car Repairs EV* "Just beacause I don't have..."
"I brought my tools just incase I have to fix my own car, because I thought if I had to use yours you'd probably make me rent them."
*EV* "Are you Spanish?" "No, I'm just..."
"I'm sorry, you must be mistaken, guilt is not an emotion I am capable of."
"Why are dogs better than men? Because they are more loyal and die faster."
"Do you remember how the door worked on the way in? Well, it works the exact same on the way out."
"Who needs V05 when you've got 10W40?"
"tickling the ivories"
" Oh no, It takes more than a broken face to make me ugly."
"At least it didn't hurt my teeth."
"Where is the jesnitor?"
"Hmm... Cindy and Jaqi showering on a busy street corner in the middle of traffic in Seattle... we are going to have to tell this story."
-"The condition of the state of Indiana is becoming increasingly concerning. The height and weight ratio seem to be inversely related. As the height goes down, the weight goes up. Im sure we have a higher than average BMI." -Cindy
-"Ha, I seriously doubt that you can find one person in this entire room that knows what BMI means." -me
-"Thats true they probably would think its some sort of new dirtbike or something or other."- Cindy
-"Matter of fact, I'll give you five dollars if you can find one person in this room who knows what BMI means, let alone what theirs personally is."
This story progresses on to involve Cindy asking a cute, seemingly intelligent young man if he knew what BMI meant to which he replied "Oh, um... isn't that the cd company?" A freaking diving coach that thinks BMI is a music cd company. Wow, Indiana, I tell you what.
For anyone who thoroughly enjoys stories where bodily injury and complete stupid humor are the main events, ask us about the Bellvue Square Fountain Incident.
"I'm concerned that being mean is going to come back and bite me in the butt one day." -Me
"I'm not concerned about the bite, I just wish it would start taking bigger chunks." -Cindy
"All 7 of us!"
"Do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not call to say thank you."
