DO bring something interesting for the actor to sign ... like an old movie poster from another role, or a copy of their 1967 performance with the Ray Conniff Singers, doing a medley of "great football fight songs of North Dakota private colleges."

DO try to say something more humorous, witty or charming than, "You are my very favorite star!"

DO dress nicely. Not like for your sister�s wedding ... but nicely!

DO bathe. The stars are usually nice enough to snuggle up for photos ... & you don�t want to smell like a donut shop or the kitchen at Grandma�s Brooklyn apartment after she�s been simmering chicken soup with parsnips for nine hours.

DO be helpful to other fans who are having a "bad camera day". If you have extra film, loan it to them. If they need somebody to snap their picture with the star, be nice & do it. Not only will they be grateful, but the next time you have a "Kodak Moment", somebody might be more likely to help you. What goes around comes around!

DO remember that the stranger at the table with you might actually be connected with or related to the star of the event BEFORE you start bragging that you are the star�s one true friend.

DO be nice to the event organizer. This will do two things. First, it will make the event organizer want to do the event again next year. Second, it will ensure that your table next year won�t be five yards behind the kitchen door!

DON�T bring seventeen items for the star to autograph. Limit it to two or three at the max. The folks behind you in line will start to get really crabby after you whip out the ninth Susan Lucci doll, to be signed for "a sick friend" or "Aunt Tillie".

DON�T hold a place in line for seven of your friends. One is fine ... everybody has to sneak to the bathroom once in a while. More than one is too many! Speaking of bathrooms ...

DON�T follow the star into the potty! Come on, cut them a little slack in the privy privacy department!

DON�T pull the "rent an electric scooter & pretend you have a health problem" routine to cut to the front of lines. The folks who organize these events figured that one out a LONG time ago. All it will get you is more expense, & a lot of embarrassment when folks see you running to your car after the event.

DON�T eat other people�s food! Don�t laugh, it really happens. The press buffet is for the press ... not for you to have a little nibble to tide you over till lunch!

DON�T scream "Hey Tad, I love you!" to Michael Knight ... or "Erica, do you remember me??" to Susan Lucci at the same approximate sound level of an AC/DC arena show when you are standing so close to other people that you just might blow their eardrums out.

If it�s a golf event ...

DON�T ask the star for a photograph in the middle of his or her backswing. A fairway woods can do serious damage to your hairdo!

If it�s an event with a meal ...

DON�T interrupt the star while he or she is trying to eat the balsa wood chicken breast with caper sauce. That stuff is hard enough to choke down without an audience!

DON�T make a fool of yourself in an effort to get a star�s attention. Here�s a rule of thumb: if it is something you would not do in a gathering of people you know, then don�t do it at the fan fest. If he (or she) really wants a lap dance, he or she can get one at a nice dark bar after the event is over.

DON�T wear an old bridesmaid or prom dress. Why? Well, first, you�ll feel really out of place. Second, other attendees might think it�s a wedding and start throwing rice to celebrate ... & the rice on their plates is already cooked! Yuck!

DON�T snaffle from the raffle or plunder from the prizes. The stuff that will be given away is on display to cause you to buy a raffle ticket, not to tempt you to become an instant kleptomaniac!

DON�T ask the star about his or her personal life. Personal is called personal because it IS personal! You will only cause embarrassment for yourself & the star if you start digging for private details.

DON�T ask Cameron Mathison to take off his shirt in public for the 6,998th time that day. The poor boy will have bursitis in his rotator cuff before he�s forty, just from whipping his top off so often!

DON�T dial your cousin in Saskatoon on your cell phone, hand it to the star, & say, "Here, talk to Edie. She�s your biggest fan." Let Edie save her allowance & come in person next year!

DON�T tell the star the history of all your family members & pets. They are nice people but they really don�t care if FiFi got a new pink bow last time she was groomed.