The Ghost, The Thief & Forgiveness

I.

daddy
i never knew you
you flew over the pacific
away from rice terraces
& banana trees
only cowards run away

i grew up
living with your ghost
i'd gnash my teeth
while in sleep

the cigarette that dangled
between your fingers
slipped & scorched my flesh
you were the thief
who took my life

II.

daddy
i have been a good girl
i get straight As
i'm polite to strangers
show good manners
do what everyone tells me
i can speak english
with no accent
you will be happy
that i am an american now

daddy
school sent me home
for the paltry issue
of dirtying the stairwell
with contents of my blood
i did not feel anything
when the blades scraped
& cut my veins open
to be swift and efficient
i slashed vertical
i was smart as always

daddy
i promise i will
put the dishes up
keep quiet
and cover my eyes
from your neglect
& your bastard children
& your thief wife
just let me inside
your home

III.

I don't resemble my mother
I have your eyes
your nose
the color of your skin
the full mouth

We are connected by an invisible rope
made up of memories and bloodline
my daughters are your descendants
fresh from my womb,
they were replicas of you

I've been buried with ghosts
hatred and regret were bandits
took me captive,
too many years wasted
I released myself recently

We are unpredictable
evil in our human armor
oblivious to the
havoc we create

But this I know,
forgiveness is boundless
it lives in our hearts
without a falter

Like gold,
you have to dig deep
underneath chasms of pain
beneath boulders of the past
forgiveness is within reach

I have your eyes
(like almonds)
your nose that slopes
the brown skin
the full mouth like a pout

We are connected.




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