Expectations That night, I was told, was a rite of passage for the woman we all know it was when she learned the price of hope, "With expectation comes disappointment", she was taught It happened that night while her car was being ransacked by car thieves breaking into the trunk taking books and music and money she thought had hidden well In that room full of people with hope for a greater self she saw another kind of life that she thought had left behind only this time there were no signs of a god just a sign she imagined meant only for her she marveled at how different he was from everyday life giving her an illusion of perfection that she believed real In that car with the wheel in front she heard far away voices of warning and reason but she could not see above the noise in her heart a ring was placed on her finger she laughed, thinking it a joke In that police station where grown men are caged and guns propped up properly in their holsters; he tried to speak to her but she shied away sending him back out into the night where he stood waiting awhile steaming at the rejection unintentionally given In that house that night was where he told her she would be his wife and she, full of hope and expectation, followed not yet knowing the price of freedom would cost her lives she'd bear In that moment did the voices become ever so loud ringing in her ears causing such a commotion in her mind but like a hard headed child she'd gone ahead and listened to her fears of loneliness and abandonment ignoring the voices of reason and logic banging in her thoughts to be let in In that morning following she was bound to this man she now called her husband by a thick chain made up of loyalty, obligation, and a form of love that some say equals hate she was still dizzy as if drunk from the night before and fighting a hang over that threatened to wake her to the truth She still speaks of this years later after 20 to try and begin to teach us about the dangers of expectation, "With expectation comes disappointment", she would start and I instantly know that she is still trying to unbound herself from the loss of her freedom |