Starsky & Hutch
Take Me Home
(Sweet Revenge Aftermath - Hutch)
* Lines in blue between << >> are spoken
words by Starsky.
Step by step
I wander around
In the emptiness between time and space
So many questions,
So many doubts in an unknown place
Fear made me lose control
Fear made me run away
Tears have fallen into the depths of
darkness
Tears that were shed for you today
*****
I don’t recognize the face staring at me in the mirror. I
don’t know me.
I don’t know anything any more. I lost track of time. Each day I live on
automatic pilot. It’s easier that way, then ‘living’ doesn’t hurt so much.
You know ‘why’. I can see that you know, but there’s nothing you can do
about it. Nothing at all, but you keep on
trying.
<<“Let it go, Hutch. Let it go!”>>
NO! You scared me. You scared me in a way I have never been scared
before. Don’t ever do that to me again. Do ya hear? DON’T!!!! It
made me angry, so angry.
No Starsk, not you. The
shooting, but never you.
*****
Two parts of me are fighting a battle. This time I’m too tired to let my
mind speak, when it’s my heart that wants to be heard.
I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to feel. If only I could find a
balance between my heart and my mind. Now it’s too late.
It hurts so much.
I feel like I’m far away from home. Wandering around, without knowing
where I’m going. I lost my way home, because I’m afraid to go back. What if
next time I can’t protect you and it happens again with a different ending?
*****
My thoughts are clouded, too dark for me to
see
My heart is yelling your name to me
Like an echo in my mind, I can only think of
you
If your heart stops beating again, what am I
to do?
*****
<<"Look at me, Hutch. I’m alive and I’m
here. I’m not planning on going anywhere soon. Let it go.">>
That's easy for you to say, Starsk. I can’t
get rid of this sickening feeling in my gut. It’s FEAR! FEAR! It tears my soul
apart. It controls my heart. It eats
me up inside. I can’t let go!
<<"If I can, you can too, Hutch. Do ya trust me?">>
I trust you with my life, Starsk. You know
that. It’s me I don’t trust.
<<"I trust ya. If
it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here right now. I came back for you. I need
you, Hutch. You can’t keep running away. I need you at my side to keep me safe.
I need
you as my friend.">>
But…
<<"No buts. You
know as well as I do that in our line of work there are no guarantees. The only
guarantees there are, are….">>
Are as always Me and Thee. I know…I know.
<<"I need you,
Hutch.">>
O God, I need you too, Starsk. So much that it
terrifies me. I can’t do this on my own. I need you too.
*****
I need you
Like a child that needs its mother
Like a flower that needs water
to grow and to survive
That much I need you, my partner in my life
*****
I feel a load fall off my chest and I inhale deeply. Before my eyes I
can see the path home. All I need to do is to take the first step, and lay my
hand in your hand.
Take me home, Starsk. Take me home.
*****
Take me home
To where my heart is
Take me home to you
~~~~~
THE
END
~~~~~
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