Old When.....
1.� You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2.� You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3.� At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4.� Your back goes out but you stay home.
5.� When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6.� It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7.� When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8.� When happy hour is a nap.
9.� When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
10.� When you say something to your kids that your mother used to say to you (and you always hated it).
11.� When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12.� When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13.� Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14.� It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15.� Your memory is shorter, and your complaining lasts longer.
16.� Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17.� You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18.� The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19.� Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
20.� The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21.� The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.
22.� It takes twice as long to look half as good.
23.� Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
24.� Your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your Metamucil.
25.� You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
26.� You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
27.� You sink your teeth into a steak...and they stay there.
28.� You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
29.� Your get up and go has got up and went.
30.� You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.
31.� Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride.
32.� You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.
33.� You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
34.� You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
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