Second Chances

 

 

 

 

Nikki Wade looked round the bare cell. Still it was better than where she’d been for the past week…the block! Now she was back where she belonged…back at HMP Larkhall…back on ‘basic’. Even according to the woman she loved, that was where she belonged because this was what she had sent her back to.

 

It was a whole week since she’d lain in Helen’s arms. A whole week since that fateful knock on the door and she found she had been betrayed. When she had to stand silently by and let Helen explain to the police that she had escaped to try and patch things up with her girlfriend and when it hadn’t worked out she had decided to turn herself in to the ever-helpful Miss Stewart. To accuse Helen of betrayal in front of the police would also have condemned her and she couldn’t bring herself to do that, she loved Helen too much. Had loved Helen too much. Right now she didn’t know how she felt.

 

“Nikki,” a voice spoke softly behind her.

 

She turned with a smile on her face. “Hiya, Barbara.”

 

“I just wondered how you were,” Barbara Hunt, Nikki’s now former cell-mate said with concern.

 

“I feel like a bloody fool!” she said dismally. “Does everyone know what happened?”

 

“Only that you escaped and were brought back.” She laid her hand gently on Nikki’s arm. “Miss Betts said you’d told her I was asleep when you escaped. Thank you for covering for me, Nikki.”

 

“No point us all ending up in the shit!”

 

“Did you manage to see Helen?”

 

“Did I see Helen?” Nikki laughed bitterly. “Why the hell do you think I’m back in here? She shopped me?”

 

“But you said you were coming back anyway.”

 

“Yeah, well, I had a change of heart. I was going to do a runner but whilst I was getting dressed Helen called the police.” She blushed as she realised what she had said about getting dressed.

 

“Do I take it you and Helen consummated your union?” Barbara asked with a smile.

 

Nikki face softened momentarily. “It was the most incredible night of my life then she had to spoil it.”

 

“Have you seen her since you were brought back? I gather she’s still taking the lifers’ meetings.”

 

“Nope and right now I don’t care if I never see her again.”

 

“I can’t believe you, Nikki!” Came the exasperated reply. “All these months you’ve bullied Helen into caring for you.”

 

“I haven’t bullied her,” Nikki snapped.

 

“Be honest with yourself if no one else, Nikki. Helen was a happily engaged woman before you started chasing her.”

 

“Oh, so now it’s all my fault!” Nikki shouted angrily.

 

“Listen to yourself. You’re such a bloody paragon!” Barbara’s exclaimed. “Why don’t you look at it from Helen’s angle for a change instead of being so bloody selfish or is it just some perverted little game you were playing with her? Get her where you want her and then walk away!”

 

“What on earth is going on in here?” Sylvia Hollamby stormed into the cell. “You sound like a pair of fish wives. Hunt, back to your own cell and Wade, Miss Stewart wants to see you.”

 

Nikki stood, hands on hips, and glared at Sylvia. “Well, you can go back to Miss Stewart and you can tell her to fu…No, wait a minute, I will see her.”

 

“Well, thank you very much, your ladyship,” Sylvia said sarcastically. “Follow me.”

 

 

Helen paced around her office anxiously. She knew it was Nikki’s first day off the block and even though she’d sent for her she didn’t know if she would want to see her. She’d seen the accusation in Nikki’s eyes when the police had come to take her back to Larkhall, the hurt and finally the blazing anger. For once her mouth had remained shut but her eyes had spoken volumes.

 

After a brisk knock, the door opened and Hollamby ushered Nikki in with a curt, “Wade for you, Miss Stewart.”

 

Two pairs of eyes watched Hollamby leave before turning to look at each other.

 

Helen was at Nikki’s side in an instant. She took her lover’s left hand and pressed her lips to its palm. “Oh, Nikki, I’ve missed you,” she said harshly before transferring her lips to Nikki’s mouth. She kissed her hungrily until she realised Nikki wasn’t responding. She drew her head back and looked into the dark pain-filled eyes.

 

“So that’s what is feels like to be kissed by a Judas,” Nikki said softly.

 

“I am so sorry for what happened, Nikki,” Helen said quietly.

 

“Which part? Loving me or betraying me?” Nikki exclaimed.

 

“Nikki, I love you more than my life.”

 

Nikki laughed bitterly, disbelief etched on her face. “But not more than your job!”

 

“We still keep coming back to that, don’t we?” Helen’s anger started to rise. “I left one job because of my feelings for you. I took this job so I could still be near you. What the hell do you want from me?”

 

“I just wanted to be with you,” Nikki exclaimed.

 

“Wanted? That sounds like the past tense,” Helen said softly.

 

“Right now I don’t know what I want,” Nikki murmured dismally. “I need some time on my own.”

 

“I think we both do,” Helen agreed as Nikki turned and opened the door. “What about the lifers’ group?”

 

Nikki shook her head sadly. “What’s the point? We had our chance and we blew it.”

 

 

At the next lifers’ group meeting, Helen looked at the faces of the assembled inmates. These women looked to her for guidance and a hope for the future but all she could think about was the one face that was missing. Nikki’s!

 

A bell rang signalling the end of the meeting. “Right, if any of you have any problems, you know where I am and I’ll see you all at the next meeting.” She smiled at each of them in turn as they filed out past her then she stood looking out of the window, rubbing her brow with a shaking hand.

 

“Helen.”

 

She whirled round. “Christ, Dominic, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

 

“Sorry,” he apologised looking at her acutely. “What’s wrong? Nikki still giving you a hard time.”

 

“If only. A hard time would be better than being totally ignored. She won’t have anything to do with me,“ she answered bitterly.

 

“Helen, why does it always have to be about what Nikki wants?”

 

Helen looked at him closely. She knew she could trust him, she was sure he hadn’t told anyone about her and Nikki. “Dom, Nikki escaped so she could come and see me.”

 

“That much I gathered.”

 

“She wanted us to run away together but I wouldn’t and I called the police. She thinks it’s because I put my job first but it isn’t. I know in my heart, when her appeal gets to court she’ll be set free and we can be together without looking over our shoulders all the time.” She saw Dominic’s downcast expression. “I’m sorry, Dom, you know I like you but that’s all there ever could be between us.”

 

“Yeah, I know that now.” He held up his bunch of keys. “Come on, I’ll lock up in here and then walk you back to your office.”

 

They walked back in silence to Helen’s office. Dominic turned to her. “I hope things work out between you and Nikki, Helen but like I said before, does it always have to be about what Nikki wants?”

 

Helen touched his arm gently. “Thanks, Dom, you’ve been a good friend.” She went into her office and sat down behind her desk. Dominic was right. It was always about what Nikki wanted. Well, since Nikki wouldn’t come to her then she would go to Nikki!

 

 

She entered Nikki’s cell without knocking to find her sitting on her bunk reading. “I’m glad to see you’ve not given up your books, even if you’ve given up everything else,” she said sarcastically.

 

Nikki closed the book with a sigh and flung it to the bottom of the bunk. “What do you want?”

 

“To get this mess sorted out between us.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Once and for all I want you to tell me there’s no hope for us…Let me finish…Tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me you hate me. Anything, as long as it’s the truth then I’ll go away from you, from Larkhall and I’ll never cause you trouble again.” Helen looked at her long and hard. “Well?” she demanded.

 

“I can’t,” Nikki said simply as she stood up.

 

“Good, that’s what I hoped you’d say.” Helen smiled and breathed an audible sigh of relief. They moved into each other’s arms and kissed hungrily as the despair of the last few weeks slowly ebbed away. They drew apart and Helen took Nikki’s hand and drew her down to the edge of the bunk. “Tomorrow night, after lock up,” she said urgently. “I’m going to get you out of here. I’ll get you a uniform and an ID badge. They won’t be expecting you to escape twice in so short a time and not by the same method. By the time they realise you’ve gone, we’ll be miles away.”

 

Nikki looked at her aghast. “Helen, you don’t know what you’re saying!”

 

“I do. We want to be together and if this is the only way then so be it.” She laid her hand against Nikki’s cheek. “I don’t know about you but these past few weeks I’ve been to hell and back. This is our last chance and I’m going to take it. Tomorrow night, you and I are going to be together again. I have friends in Ireland. We’ll go there then make our way to America.”

 

“You really are going to do it, aren’t you?” Nikki asked incredulously.

 

Helen nodded then raised her mouth for Nikki’s kiss.

 

    

The following day, Helen went about her duties as normal. She saw Nikki in the corridor but kept her eyes averted as had become the custom in the past few weeks. A uniform and ID badge both stolen from the lockers were secreted at the back of one of her filing cabinet drawers. She always worked late, preferring to be at Larkhall instead of going home to an empty flat so no one would think it unusual that Miss Stewart was still in the prison. All she had to do was get Nikki out of her cell and into the office where she could change then they would go out of the gate together. She was hoping that the guard wouldn’t pay too much attention to Nikki if she was with her and if he did there was always the heavy rubber torch also secreted at the back of the drawer!

 

About half an hour after lock up she quietly left her office. Stealthily she made her way onto G-Wing, unlocking and locking gates as she went. Her heart was pounding as she reached Nikki’s cell. She unlocked the door and slipped inside. Nikki was sitting on her bunk fully dressed. They flew into each other’s arms.

 

“I thought you’d changed your mind,” Nikki said softly dropping gentle kisses on Helen’s face.

 

“I had to wait until it was all quiet,” Helen replied shakily. “We’d better go.” She turned to leave but Nikki caught hold of her arm.

 

“Kiss me, Helen.”

 

“Nikki, there’s no time,” Helen said impatiently then seeing the look on Nikki’s face, she groaned softly and moved into her embrace. “I love you,” she whispered.

 

“I love you too.”

 

They kissed softly at first until the kiss exploded in a fury of passion. Helen’s arms went around Nikki’s neck pulling her closer. She felt the familiar ache between her legs that she knew only Nikki’s touch could assuage. She pulled away. If she didn’t stop now they would never get away. “Nikki,” she said harshly. “We have to go.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nikki said with a smile. “We’re going to do things your way. The right way.”

 

“Nikki, this is our last chance,” Helen said insistently.

 

“No, Helen, this is our second chance and I’m not going to lose it.” She dropped a light kiss on Helen’s surprised mouth. “Now, Miss Stewart, I’m tired and I’ve got to get some sleep. I’ve got a big day tomorrow. There’s a lifers’ meeting and I want to see my lawyer.” After another lingering kiss she pushed Helen towards the door. “Goodnight, Miss Stewart. Would you mind locking the door on your way out?”

 

 

THE END

 

 

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