By
Jan
Chapter 5
“Have you thought of putting the children up for
adoption?”
Helen looked at the handsome man sitting opposite her,
shock masking her lovely face. She couldn’t believe he had just spoken those
words.
“What I’m trying to say is,” Colin blundered on
oblivious to Helen’s feelings. “Don’t you think the children would be happier
being brought up in a family atmosphere?”
“They are being brought up in a family atmosphere,”
Helen snapped angrily.
“I mean with a mother and father…”
“They haven’t got a mother and father in case you’ve
forgotten. They’ve only got me.” She sighed impatiently. “If you’ve brought me
here to have a go then I suggest you take me home.”
“I’m sorry, Helen. This wasn’t how I’d planned it.
Let’s start again, shall we?” He smiled disarmingly. “Do you realise, in less
than a month we would have been getting married?”
Helen lowered her guard, feeling a rush of pleasure
that he should remember their forthcoming nuptials. He had even brought her to
the restaurant where he had proposed.
“Don’t you miss the old days, Helen? We were together
for two years. You can’t just dismiss it as if it never happened.”
“I haven’t just dismissed it but you were the one who
wanted to split up!” Helen exclaimed defensively.
“And I was an idiot…”
Helen looked at him sharply, remembering when Nikki
Wade had called him an idiot. As Colin continued talking, she found her mind
straying once more to Nikki. She was still a little aloof with Helen herself but
the children thought the world of her and she always found time for them.
“What do you think then? Helen!”
She realised Colin was looking at her questioningly.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“You were miles away!” he admonished her. “I asked you
if we could try again but you’re obviously not interested enough to even listen
to what I’m saying!”
“Colin, I’m sorry,” she replied sheepishly. “I was
thinking about the children.”
“That’s your trouble, Helen. You thought about the
children before me!” he snapped peevishly.
Helen’s eyes flashed angrily. “What the hell did you
want me to do? They’d just lost their parents for Christ’s sake! I was all the
family they’d got left!” She snatched her napkin from her lap and flung it onto
the table. “I think you’d better take me home because this conversation is
getting us nowhere.”
“But I haven’t finished my meal!” he protested.
“Then you stay and finish it!” she exclaimed as she
pushed back her chair. “Because I am going home!”
Nikki lay on her bed, her hands clasped behind her
head. She felt so foolish for rushing home like a lovesick idiot just to be
with Helen and for what?
For the first time in her life she had let a woman
really get under her skin then when Maddy had told her she was out with her
fiancé the words had been like knives piercing her heart. She knew her first
impression of Helen had been the wrong one but that didn’t help matters now.
She swung her long legs over the side the bed and
strolled across to the window just as a car turned into the driveway. She felt
mesmerized as the headlights drew closer, wondering what he was like…the
man who Helen had loved enough to agree to marry. She saw both car doors open
and knew she should turn away but she couldn’t, she had to know. A man climbed
out of the driver’s side and came round and took Helen’s hand as she got out of
the car. In the darkness she couldn’t see anything except that he was tall.
They stood talking together and Nikki almost wished
the window was open then she might have heard what they were saying. They
kissed and she closed her eyes momentarily shutting out the sight. When she
opened them again, the man was just getting in the car. Helen stood and watched
him drive away before turning to come into the house. Nikki saw her look up and,
by the faint smile she gave, knew she had been seen. She smiled wryly and only
then did she turn away!
Helen undressed thoughtfully. It had been a bit of a
shock when she had gone into the library and Colin had been standing there. He was
still as handsome as ever and seeing him was a little disconcerting but going
out with him tonight hadn’t changed a thing. When he had kissed her
‘goodnight’, he had promised to call but she had told him not to bother. There
was no way he was going to accept the children and she was adamant they weren’t
going into care.
She pulled her nightdress over her head and as she
slipped into a silk dressing gown…her last birthday present from Colin…she
heard a noise from the children’s room next door. With a worried expression on
her lovely face she hurried out of her room and along the landing.
Jemma was sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes. Helen
sat down on the edge of the bed and gathered the little girl to her.
“I want mummy!” Jemma wailed sleepily.
Helen sighed. These were the times she hated most. One
of the children would cry out for their mother during the night and sometimes
she found it difficult to pacify them. “I’m here, sweetheart,” she soothed
gently.
“I want my mummy!” Jemma wailed again.
Helen rocked her, stroking her hair until she was
almost asleep.
“Is she OK?” Nikki spoke softly behind her.
“I’m sorry, did she wake you?” She asked
apologetically then stiffened as Nikki sat on the bed beside her, so close that
she could almost feel the heat from her body.
“No, I was just going downstairs for a drink when I
saw the door was open. I thought there might be something wrong.”
“She must have had a bad dream.” Helen looked at her
and smiled. “These are the times when she really needs her mummy.”
Nikki stood up, her heart contracting at the sight of
Helen cradling the sleeping child. A faint smile touched her lips. “Why don’t
you join me when you’ve finished here?”
Helen looked up and to her surprise saw the tender
expression on Nikki’s face. “I…It’s late, I’d better not,” she replied
regretfully.
“Please. Just a nightcap.”
“OK. I’ll just get her settled then I’ll come down.”
“No rush. I’m not going anywhere,” Nikki replied
amicably. “I’ll check on gran on my way down. See if she wants anything.”
Nikki walked along the landing to her grandmother’s
room. She was finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that Helen
would be leaving soon. Emma was almost mobile again and wouldn’t need a nurse
for very much longer. Maybe now Helen’s fiancé was back on the scene she would
be leaving sooner than they had planned.
She tapped on Emma’s door and opened it quietly in
case her grandmother was asleep but she was sitting propped against her
pillows, spectacles on her nose, reading a magazine.
“Thought you’d be asleep,” Nikki commented as she
walked across to the bed.
“I woke up so I thought I would do the crossword in
this magazine. What’s an eight-letter word meaning ‘a person ideally suited to
another’? Seventh letter is a ‘t’.”
“Soulmate,” Nikki furnished quickly.
“Hm. Certainly fits.” Emma scribbled in the answer
then lay down her magazine and removed her spectacles. “What have you been up
to?”
Nikki shrugged. “Nothing, just thinking. I was going
down for a nightcap. Do you want a tot bringing up?”
Emma grimaced. “I’d love one but I’m taking tablets.”
“Forgot,” Nikki muttered.
Emma patted the bed beside her inviting Nikki to sit
down. “What’s wrong?” she demanded when Nikki was seated.
“Nothing.”
“You’ve never lied to me before so don’t start now!”
Emma admonished her sharply.
“Would you mind if I went back to the States?” Nikki
asked quietly.
Her grandmother frowned. “I thought you’d finished your
business over there. Is it that woman again?”
Nikki smiled. She knew her grandmother hated Marcia.
“We’ve finished. It would never have worked out between us.”
“And Helen?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Nikki murmured, staring
down at the carpet.
“I think you do,” Emma replied pointedly. “I got her
here for you, it’s up to you to keep her here!”
Nikki stared at her grandmother. “Why you sly old
bugger!” she exclaimed when the truth dawned. “You didn’t really need a nurse
at all, did you?”
Emma chuckled. “Of course not but I saw the way you
looked at her and thought I’d give you a hand.”
“What would I do without you?” Nikki demanded
affectionately.
“Saddle yourself with someone like that American
bitch!” Emma retorted candidly.
“What about the children?”
“What about them? I love having them here and you’re
not going to give me great-grandchildren, are you?”
“Depends if I meet the right woman,” Nikki replied
with a grin.
“You mean you haven’t already?” Emma teased.
“Gran…Helen and I…there’s no chance. She’s just been
out with her fiancé.”
The old lady frowned. “Helen told me they’d split up
because of the children and there was no chance of a reconciliation.”
“Well, he’s back on the scene now,” Nikki said
dismally.
Emma reached out and took Nikki’s hand in her own.
“You can’t let that put you off. Your grandfather saw off four suitors before I
agreed to go out with him. If he’d given up your father wouldn’t be here…for
all the good he is…and you certainly wouldn’t.”
Nikki gripped her grandmother’s hand tightly. They had
an unspoken rule that they didn’t talk about Nikki’s parents but the odd times
they were mentioned it still hurt.
“Your grandfather was very proud of you and what you
stood for.” She touched Nikki’s cheek gently. “I know he didn’t say much but
when it came to the choice of you or your father he chose you. He wished his
sister could have been more like you then she wouldn’t have ended her days a
dried up old maid.”
Nikki looked at her in surprise. “Are you trying to
tell me Aunt Florrie was gay?” she asked incredulously.
Emma nodded. “When I first met your grandfather,
Florrie had a friend…a pretty little thing…and they were inseparable. I don’t
know what happened between them…an argument probably but suddenly she wasn’t
there anymore. I think that was the last time I saw Florrie truly happy.” She
smiled at Nikki sadly. “When Arthur saw the way things were with you, I think
he thought you would buckle under pressure but he didn’t realise you’d inherited
all his courage. Seems to have by-passed your father but that wife of his
inherited more than her fair share,” she remarked caustically.
Nikki suppressed a smile. She knew there had never
been any love lost between her mother and her grandmother.
“So what are you going to do about Helen?” Emma
demanded suddenly.
“Well, right now I’m going to give her a drink then
I’m going to see off some suitors,” she replied with a laugh and a wink. She
kissed her grandmother’s cheek then stood up but as she crossed to the door
Emma’s voice stopped her.
“Remember, Nikki, you take on Helen and you take on
those children,” Emma told her warningly. “No half measures.”
Nikki nodded. “’Night, Gran. See you in the morning,”
she said softly then left the room.
When she reached the library, Helen stood and took a
deep breath before tapping on the door and entering.
Nikki was sitting on a leather chesterfield cradling a
glass of brandy in her hand. She looked up as Helen entered and her face lit
up. “What would you like to drink?” she asked cordially as she started to rise.
“Don’t get up, I can help myself. If I may.” Helen
looked at her questioningly.
“Of course.” She watched as Helen moved to the drinks cabinet
and poured herself a brandy. “Did you manage to settle Jemma?” she asked as
Helen sat down in an armchair.
“Eventually but not before she had woken Jamie,” Helen
replied with a grimace. “I had to read them a story before they would go to
sleep.”
“They’re great kids, Helen. You’ve done a good job
with them,” Nikki remarked unable to keep the admiration out of her voice.
“That’s not what you thought at the beginning,” came
the teasing response.
Nikki gave a guilty laugh. “I really put my foot in it,
didn’t I?”
Helen nodded agreement. “Both of them,” she mocked.
“Up to the kneecap.”
“OK! OK! Don’t lay it on so thick! I’ll be wearing
sackcloth and ashes next!” Nikki retorted sheepishly. Helen laughed and Nikki
looked at her, liking the sound. “So have you decided what you’re going to do
when you leave here?” She could have kicked herself for voicing the words when
she saw the hurt look on Helen’s face. “Helen, I don’t want you to leave…!”
Helen looked at her sharply and she realised she was
in danger of saying too much, too soon.
“What I mean is…I don’t want you to leave until you’re
ready. Both gran and I love having you…the children, I mean…here.” She groaned
inwardly. Think you’d better quit while you’re ahead, Wade! She told herself
angrily.
Helen drained her brandy glass and stood up. “Thanks
for the nightcap. Once Emma is well again the four of us will be out of your
hair. My fiancé and I, we…we’ve decided to give it another go.”
Nikki watched in silence as Helen left the room. She
laughed bitterly then drained her glass and just resisted the urge to fling it
against the wall. So much for seeing off suitors!