Everything I do

 

 

Chapter 19

 

     

“Helen, I need you to come and see me. Can you arrange it with Miss Betts? Let me know when you’re coming.” Helen listened to the message left by Nikki on the answerphone, no words of greeting or love just cold demands. She sighed. Obviously Trish had done her worst. She hated putting on Karen's good nature but it was the only way she would get to see Nikki.

 

She dialled Karen’s home number. “Karen, it’s Helen. You know the get together you suggested, any chance for tomorrow? I don’t want you to put your career on the line but something’s happened and I really need to see Nikki.”

 

“Don’t worry, Helen, I’ll arrange it all. Milk, no sugar, right?” she laughed.

 

“Right and thanks, Karen.”

 

 

Helen was shown into Karen’s office, to find Nikki already there, arms folded and lips set in a firm line.

 

“So you went to see Trish after all,” Nikki said stonily when the door had closed. “After I had specifically asked you not to.”

 

“Well, she didn’t waste any time,” Helen exclaimed.

 

“I rang her as it happens. Bloody good job I did or I wouldn’t have found out. Would I?” she demanded.

 

“Of course you would. I would have told you.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure you would. Would you have told me you kissed her as well?”

 

“What?” Helen looked at her in dismay. “Is that what she told you? And of course you believe her rather than me. After all you’ve know her longer than you’ve known me. Loved her more than you love me.” To her utter horror the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

 

“Helen darlin’, don’t,” Nikki soothed her gently and tried to take her in her arms but Helen knocked her hands away. “Shit!” Nikki exclaimed as pain shot through her right hand.

 

“Nikki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She grabbed hold of Nikki’s injured hand making her wince again.

 

“It’s my own fault for taking the piss. I knew it was all Trish’s fault and you wouldn’t have made a pass at her.”

 

“Taking the piss? You bloody bitch! It’s a good job you’ve got that,” she indicated the plaster cast on Nikki’s right hand. “Or I’d break your arm.”

 

Nikki grabbed hold of her and wrapped her arms around her. “Then you’d have to dress me, undress me, wash me, feed me.” She punctuated her words with lingering kisses.

 

“What was the undress bit again? I’m sure I could manage that.”

 

“Really? I’ll have to take you up on that sometime,” Nikki promised. She cupped Helen’s buttocks and moulded their bodies together. Helen glanced at the glass partition separating them from the outer office. “Nikki, we have to be careful.”

 

“I know we do,” Nikki sighed and drew away.

 

“Nikki, about Trish. I know it sounds naïve but I had no idea she was going to kiss me. Anyway, I told her I wasn’t interested because I’m in love with someone else.”

 

“And are you?” Nikki teased as she slid her arms around Helen’s waist.

 

Helen smiled lovingly. “You know I am.”

 

“And I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and that includes Trish.” She bent her head and kissed Helen thoroughly. “So what did you think of my house then?” Nikki asked with a smile.

 

“Your house?” Helen laughed incredulously. “I’m sorry, I just never thought.”

 

“We have a lot to learn about each other, don’t we, Helen?”

 

“But just think of the fun we can have doing it,” Helen raised suggestive eyebrows.

 

“That’s if I ever get out of this bloody place,” Nikki said bitterly.

 

Helen turned away from her, rubbing her temple.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Nikki asked anxiously. She turned Helen round to face her. “Is it my appeal?”

 

“No, Nikki. It’s not that. I need to know what happened on the night of the…the night of the…”

 

“Murder? Is that the word you’re looking for?” Nikki demanded.

 

“Nikki, you didn’t murder him!” Helen exclaimed fearfully. “I just need to know in your own words what happened that night,” she said gently.

 

“Alright.Trish was working as a hostess at a club, a straight club,” she began hesitantly. “I hated her doing it but it was what she wanted. Sometimes I would go and pick her up, make sure she got home safely. The night of the…the…” she swallowed hard. “Anyhow, I went to pick her up as usual. When I went into the club Edwards had got Trish over a table trying to force himself on her.“ She shut her eyes tightly as she remembered the scene. “I tried to drag him off but he was built like a brick shit-house! He started laughing, said Trish wanted a man not an excuse and he’d been screwing her for weeks and I was going to be next. I just saw red and went for him.”

 

“With a bottle?” Helen murmured.

 

“No!” Nikki exclaimed. “With my fists. I’m not a weakling but I was no match for him. He started beating the crap out of me. He had his hand on my throat and I thought he was going to kill me. The next thing I knew he had a bottle stuck in his neck.”

 

“So, you lied!” Helen said incredulously. “You killed him because he was screwing your girlfriend, not because he was trying to rape her!”

 

“It wasn’t like that,” Nikki protested.

 

“What was it like then?” Helen retorted. “Tell me the truth. No more secrets between us, Nikki. You killed an innocent policeman because he was screwing your girlfriend. Isn’t that how it was? You became a cold-blooded killer because he was screwing your girlfriend.”

 

“Don’t talk to me like that! Who the hell do you think you are?” Nikki yelled angrily.

 

“I’m the woman who loves you!” Helen retorted, equally angry. “Remember me?” She whimpered in pain as Nikki grabbed hold of her upper arms and her fingers dug into the soft flesh. Her lips were taken in a punishing kiss. She stood passively until Nikki’s anger abated and the kiss became soft and gentle.

 

Nikki drew her head back, her eyes filled with misery. “I am so sorry.”

 

Helen stroked her cheek lovingly. “Don’t keep fighting me, Nikki. I’m on your side.”

 

 “I don’t know what I’d do without you. If only I’d met you first.”

 

“We’re together now, that’s all that matters and we’re going to get through this together.” She laid her head against Nikki’s chest and hugged her tightly then drew back and gave her an encouraging smile. “Now, do you feel up to telling me the rest of it?”

 

She nodded. “Trish started screaming. I’ve never heard anything like it. Edwards fell on top of me, I found out later he’d broken some of my ribs. As I went down I banged my head on one of the tables and passed out. When I came round his body was still on top of me and I was covered in his blood. I was trying to get him off me when the police arrived. Someone had heard Trish screaming and called them.” She sank onto a chair and put her head into her hands. “They questioned me for hours. I had his blood all over me, on my hands, and they kept me there until I started to stink! They wouldn’t let me see a doctor, wash my hands even until I’d signed a confession.”

 

Helen laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “My poor darling,” she said softly.

 

“How can you love me, Helen, knowing what I’ve done?”

 

Helen crouched down in front of her and sandwiched the large gentle hands between her own. “I do love you, Nikki, and if I have to give up the prison service to keep you I will do,” she told her emphatically.

 

“This is total shit!” Nikki exclaimed. “I’m serving a life sentence for a woman who doesn’t give a shit about me and it’s keeping me from being with a woman I love more than life itself.” The despair in her voice was unmistakable. “Someone up there” - she jerked her head skywards - “must be having a bloody good laugh at my expense.”

 

Helen regarded her closely. Nikki wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity. Something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “And you’ve told me everything?”

 

Nikki nodded. She stood up, drawing Helen up with her. “Miss Betts will be back soon.” She looked at Helen the desire in her eyes unmistakable.

 

Helen slapped her playfully on the arm. “Behave!” she ordered with mock severity. “When you come home we’ll spend a week in bed if that’s what you want,” Helen promised.

 

“I’ll make sure I take you up on it. Every last second...” Helen’s lips stopped her flow of words.  

 

 

On to Chapter 20

 

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