(This story means a lot to me and I’d
like to dedicate it to Sunshine)
Chapter
1
Helen Stewart switched on her car radio to listen to the news.
Why, oh, why hadn’t she taken Nikki back to Larkhall herself? At least she
would know by now whether the stupid little idiot had got back in undetected.
There was nothing about escaped prisoners on the news so she switched the radio
off again.
Her heart was in her mouth as she parked her car in her reserved
parking space outside the prison and the guard let her in the main gate. She
greeted him with a friendly smile as he signed her in. “Quiet night, John?” she
asked pleasantly.
“Apart from the festivities at Mrs Hollamby’s party. From what I
hear she’s a right goer when she’s been on the pop that one.” He laughed
jovially.
“Really? Who would have thought it?” Helen’s reply was sarcastic
but he seemed not to notice.
“One of the lads brought me a drink across, just to be sociable if
you know what I mean,” he winked at her as if to emphasise his words.
Helen started to relax. Hopefully, it would have been more than
one drink and he might not have taken too much notice of the blond nurse who
signed in. “I’d better get on, John. Loads to do today.”
“See you later, Miss Stewart.” He watched her walk across the
yard, an appreciative leer on his chubby face.
Helen went straight up to her office and deposited her belongings
then she went down onto G-Wing. Everything seemed normal. She spotted Dominic
McAllister and walked over to him. “’Morning, Dominic. Enjoy the party?”
“’Morning, Helen.” He exhaled noisily. “Yeah, it was a good night
but I could have done with staying in bed this morning.”
“Hangover?” she asked sympathetically. “Seems like I missed a good
time.” Then added to herself, but I think not! She smiled secretively. “Have
you seen Nikki Wade this morning? I could do with a word with her.”
“The last time I saw her she was having breakfast,” he informed
her, his stomach lurching at the thought of a greasy fry-up.
“Well, when she’s finished would you bring her up to my office,
please? See you later, Dom.” Helen walked away, breathing a sigh of relief.
Nikki was back! Now she really could relax.
Nikki paced around her cell. The exhilaration she had felt at
being with Helen was waning, being back at Larkhall had seen to that. Why did
she think everything was going to be different because of a few hours in
Helen’s arms? She was still banged up
facing at least ten years and now her appeal looked as if it had been flushed
down the pan. Making love with Helen had made things worse not better because
now she really knew what she was missing by being inside. If only she hadn’t
listened to Helen. They should have gone on the run like she wanted. Instead
she had taken the twenty quid Helen had given her for her taxi fare and gone
home like a good little girl!
To make matters even worse Barbara had laid into her as soon as
she was back in her cell. Bollocking her for being so stupid and saying the
stress of waiting for her to come back had given her a migraine. She didn’t
know where she was now. Probably in the chapel asking for forgiveness because
she’d been party to a jailbreak. Nikki mentally gave herself a good kicking for
being so uncharitable. She really liked Barbara and she couldn’t ask for a
better friend in this place.
“Miss Stewart wants to see you, Nikki,” Dominic McAllister poked
his head into her cell.
“Good night was it, Mr McAllister?” she said chattily as they
walked to Helen’s office. She could see the poor sod was suffering but it
served him right for trying to get off with Helen.
“Yeah, great,” he mumbled. The sooner he got Nikki to Helen’s
office the better. His guts felt as if they were already in his mouth. He
knocked on Helen’s door then turned and dashed off, his hand over his mouth.
Nikki watched him go a smile on her face. Yes, it certainly served
him right!
Helen yanked open the door. “What’s going on?” she demanded upon
seeing the smiling Nikki.
“Dominic had to dash off to find the nearest loo.” Nikki blew out
her cheeks and started to heave but as she entered the office her face became
serious. “He said you wanted to see me.”
Helen closed the door. “Of course I wanted to see you, “ she
snapped. “What happened? Did you have any problems getting back in?”
“I wouldn’t be standing here if I had, would I?” she replied
sarcastically. “I would be on the block, or worse still, shipped out.”
“Promise me you won’t do anything like this again, Nikki.”
“Don’t you start,” she exclaimed. “I’ve already had Barbara
ranting on at me. Don’t worry, Helen, I won’t escape again.”
“Thank god for that, “ she sighed.
“What you mean is, thank god you won’t have to put up with me on the
outside again for a long time. Isn’t that it, Helen?” she demanded angrily.
Helen frowned as she looked at Nikki. “That’s not what I meant at
all. What the hell has got into you? Do you regret last night?”
“No, but you obviously do,” she retorted. “I shouldn’t have
listened to you but you couldn’t wait to get me back behind bars, could you?
What was it? The prospect of waking up in bed next to me every morning more
than your refined senses could bear!”
“Don’t be so damn stupid!” Helen exclaimed. “You know how I feel
about you. I want to be with you more than anything.”
“Then why wouldn’t you run away with me?” she demanded.
“Nikki, we had all this out last night,” Helen’s voice rose
impatiently. “You are back here now until I can get you out legally. End of
story.”
“Helen, there is no way they are ever going to let me out of
here,” Nikki said dismally. “I had everything I ever wanted within my grasp and
I threw it all away because of what you wanted.”
“We’ve been through all this a thousand times before…”
“And now it’s a thousand times worse. Escaping was the first
mistake I made. Making love with you was the second because now I know what I’m
really missing and I don’t know if I can stand it in here without you.”
Helen’s face softened at the look of utter despair on Nikki’s
face. “Nikki, trust me. I won’t rest until you’re released.” She took Nikki’s
hands, but she wrenched herself free.
“Save your breath, Helen. I just hope someday you know what it’s
like to be on the losing end.”
Helen shook her head wearily. “There’s no talking to you when
you’re in this mood.”
“Well, why don’t I just piss off back to my cell then?” Nikki said
angrily. “ You obviously only sent for me to pick an argument with me. Like I
said, the reality of loving me is too much for you, isn’t it?”
“Think what you like, Nikki,” Helen sighed.
Nikki laughed bitterly. They were lovers but Helen was still
holding part of herself back. “Don’t worry, Helen. I won’t ask you to touch me
again. You were a good fuck but not that special. Now Trish, she really knew
how to turn me on.” She was silenced as Helen’s hand slapped her hard across
the face. Jesus, the girl certainly packed a wallop. Tears sprang into her eyes
but she forced them back, she couldn’t let Helen see how much she was hurting.
Helen dragged open the door. “Well, fuck off back to Trish then!
If she’ll have you.”
Nikki gave her a look filled with hatred before storming out of
the office.
Helen slammed the door then crossed to her desk and sank down into
her chair. Jesus Christ! What was happening to them? Nikki was the most
important person in the world to her. Last night had been the most wonderful
night of her life and they were still tearing each other apart. If only Nikki
would get it into her thick skull that she really did love her then all these
doubts wouldn’t keep creeping in. She would give her a chance to cool off and
then try and talk some sense in to her.
Nikki made her way out to the garden. Once in the potting shed she
let her tears fall freely. She couldn’t believe the terrible things she had
said to Helen but Larkhall was making her crazy. Even the crack she had made
about Trish turning her on better than Helen could was crap. The few hours she
had spent with Helen had fulfilled all her dreams and the thought that she
might never know Helen’s tender lovemaking again for a very long time was
eating its way into her very soul.
She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket. If she carried on
like this her own paranoia was going to split them up and next time Helen might
not be so forgiving. She would have to go and see Helen, let her know that her
words were spoken in anger and fear and nothing else.
She almost ran back to the wing and asked for an appointment with
Miss Stewart, only to be told that she had gone to a meeting and wouldn’t be
back at all that day.
In fact, Helen was away from Larkhall for most of the week. What
with meetings at Area then there were problems with one of the lifers at
another of the prisons that fell under her jurisdiction she had been crawling
into bed well after midnight. She drove to Larkhall feeling more confident than
when she had left it. Upon reflection, she felt sure Nikki hadn’t meant the
terrible things she had said, so as soon as she got into work she would have
another talk to Nikki and try and sort things out between them. She loved Nikki
too much to lose her now.
She tutted as her mobile rang. She had often cursed other
motorists for driving whilst talking on a mobile phone but she was late enough already
and she didn’t have time to pull over. She answered the call and tucked the
phone against her shoulder.
“Helen, it’s Jeremy.” Jeremy Page was her boss at the Home Office.
“Will you come into the office immediately, please?”
“I’m just on my way to Larkhall…”
“It’s not a request, Helen. It’s an order,” he snapped.
Helen grimaced as she switched off her phone. Jeremy wasn’t
usually so dogmatic but he obviously had a bee in his bonnet about something,
her talk with Nikki would just have to wait. As soon as it was convenient to do
so she turned around and made her way into the City.
She was shown into Jeremy’s office by a grim-faced secretary and
was met by an even grimmer-faced Jeremy.
“Sit down, Helen,” he said icily. He waited until she was seated
before continuing. “I received a letter in this morning’s post. It made certain
allegations regarding your conduct.”
“My conduct?” she echoed.
He looked at her distastefully. “The letter insinuated that you had
been having a relationship with an inmate at Larkhall Prison.”
Helen looked aghast. “May I see the letter?”
He handed her a sheet of paper. “This is a photostat copy of it.
As you can see it is on prison issue paper. As a Home Office employee you know
the seriousness of the allegation so I have to ask you, Helen, are you having
or have you ever had a relationship with this inmate…Nikki Wade?”
Helen looked at him. Debating whether or not to lie. “Yes, I
have,” she admitted softly.
“I’m sorry, Helen. You leave me with no choice. Either you resign,
here and now, or I will have to dismiss you. I don’t think I have to tell you
which is the better option.”
She shook her head. “Will I be allowed to go back to Larkhall?
There are some things I need to collect.”
Jeremy shook his head. “Your things will be sent on to you. Going
back is out of the question.”
She had to go back. She had to see Nikki and make things right
with her. “Jeremy, you don’t understand…”
“No, Helen, you’re the one who doesn’t understand. You betrayed
the trust everyone put in you, including myself,” he said contemptuously. “Your
contract is terminated with immediate effect. I just need your signature on
this letter of resignation.” He handed her a sheet of paper and a pen.
She signed the letter without reading it and dropped the pen onto
the desk before quickly leaving the office.
Once back in her car she
sat with her head on the steering wheel. She couldn’t believe anyone could hate
her enough to write that letter. Who had sent it? It was obviously someone with
a grudge against her. She sat wracking her brains until a dreadful thought
struck her. Dear god, surely Nikki couldn’t have sent it? It had been three
days since they had argued, could she have gotten out a letter in that time and
was she really angry enough with her to do it? What was it Nikki had said? ‘I
just hope someday you know what it’s like to be on the losing end!’
Well, Nikki had her wish. She’d lost her job, her integrity and,
and if she had sent the letter, the woman she loved all on the same day.
She drove home, her thoughts in turmoil. She had to find some way
of contacting Nikki. Maybe Dominic would help. Even if he just told Nikki what
had happened.
She rang Larkhall and waited patiently whilst someone went to find
him. “Dominic, it’s Helen,” she said hurriedly when he at last answered.
“Helen,” he said curiously. “Is something wrong?”
“Oh, Dominic,” she almost wept with relief at having someone to talk
to. “Something is very wrong but I can’t tell you on the phone. Will you come
over tonight? I really need to talk to you.”
“Sure. I’ll come when I’ve finished my shift.”
“Thanks, Dominic. See you later.” She replaced the receiver with a
faint smile. Hopefully, she now had a lifeline to Nikki, even if only
temporarily.