Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place???!!!
"Conservatives..all in favor of the unborn. Annnything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life Conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't wanna know about you. They don't wanna hear from you. No neo-natal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothin'. If you're pre-born you're fine, if you're pre-school, you're fucked (the way he says this is priceless).
Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach
Pro-life. Pro-life. These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors. What kind of pro-life is that? What, they'll do anything to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it?
They're not pro-life, you know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets. Anti-woman. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.
*bad taste in mouth*Pro-life. */taste* You don't see many of these white anti-abortionist women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don't see 'em adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No,
And you won't see a lot of these pro-life people dousing themselves in Kerosene and lighting themselves on fire. You know, morally commited people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a God-d*mn demonstration, didn't they? They knew how to do a f'ing protest. *big, loud--it's great* Light yourself on fire!!!!
Come on, you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke...to match that fire in your belly.
Here's another question I have: How come when it's us, it's an abortion, but when it's a chicken, it's an omlette? Are we so much better than chickens, all of a sudden? When did this happen, us passing chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens *beat* See, no one can do it! Y'know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hangin' around in drug gangs, do ya? No, you don't see chickens strappin' some guy in a chair and hookin' up his nuts to a car battery, do ya? When's the last chicken ya heard came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen? Doesn't happen, 'cause chickens are decent people.
But, let's get back to this abortion shit. Now, is a fetus a human being? This seems to be the central question. Well, if a fetus is a human being, how come the Census doesn't count them? If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage, they don't have a funeral? If a fetus is a human being, why do people say "We have two children and one on the way," instead of saying "We have three children"?
People say life begins at conception? I say life began about a billion years ago, and it's a continuous process. Just keeps rollin' along. Rollin..rollin.. rollin' along.
Listen, you can go back further than that. What about the carbon atoms? Huh? Human life could not exist without carbon. So maybe is it possible we shouldn't be burning all this coal?
Just lookin' for a little consistency here in these anti-abortion arguements.
See, the really hardcore people will tell ya that "life begins at fertilization." Fertilization. When the sperm fertilizes the egg. Which is usually a few moments after the man says, "Gee, honey, I was gonna pull out, but the phone rang and it startled me." Fertilization. But it's still 6 or 7 days before the fertilized egg moves to the uterus and pregnancy begins.
But, of course, not every egg makes it that far. Eighty percent of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has [me, I need no excuse to be bitchy ] They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are...fertilized eggs. So basically what these anti-abortionists are telling us is that any woman who's had more than one period is a serial killer. A serial killer. (Ouch! One point for the left...)
Consistency!!! Consistency!!!
Hey, hey, wait a minute. What about when the state executes a condemned man, and one of these pro-life guys who's watching comes in his pants? Here's a guy who's standing over here, his jockey shorts full of little Vinnys and Debbies, and nobody's sayin' a word to the guy!
Not every ejactulation deserves a name!
Now, speaking of consistency...Catholics...which I was, until the age of reason...
Catholics, and other Christians, are against abortions... and they're against homosexuals.
Go look for consistency in religion.
And speaking of my friends the Catholics, when Cardinal John O'Conner of NY and bishops and priests have experienced their first pregnancies, their first labor pains, and raised a coupla kids on minimum wage, then I'd listen to what they have to say about abortion!! I'm sure it'd be interesting!
But...but...in the meantime, what they oughtta be doin' is telling these priests who took a vow of chastity to keep their hands off the altar boys!!! Keep your hands to yourself, father! When Jesus said, "Suffer the little children, come unto me," that's NOT what he was talking about!!
So you know what I tell these anti-abortion people? I say, "Hey. Hey. You think a fetus is more important than a woman? Try getting a fetus to wash the shit-stains out of your underwear. For no pay and no pension.
So think of an abortion as term-limits. Biological term-limits. But you know, the more you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear this phrase "sanctity of life."