Deserts


(all deserts)

KIM�S
A LITTLE DIFFERENT STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

If you want to make a little different strawberry shortcake that will impress your friends because you spent time making it, here's a variation.

Using either a homemade or store bought angel food cake (I find the loaf type works better as opposed to the tube pan kind), slice the cake vertically into thirds. Mix 2-4 cups of whipped cream with strawberry flavored Jell-O (depending on how large the angel food cake is and how much filling you want). Slice strawberries. Put � of whipped cream & Jell-O mixture on top of first layer & put sliced strawberries on top of layer. Do the same for the second layer. Frost the cake with plain whipped cream & garnish with either sliced or whole strawberries. If you want to get really fancy, you can use a pastry bag to decorate further. You have to keep this in the refrigerator, from a past mistake I learned that the layers will shift if you don't.



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SUGARCOOKIE�S
APPLE LASAGNA

1 8oz container (1 cup) Part-skim ricotta cheese
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
� cup egg substitute
� cup granulated sugar
1 tsp nutmeg
8 lasagna noodles, cooked
Apple pie filling (2 cans, or recipe below)
� cup all purpose flour
� cup quick oats
� cup brown sugar (packed)
� tsp apple pie spice
� stick butter (4 tbsp)

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix the first five ingredients and set aside. Combine the last five ingredients in a separate bowl; mixing with a fork until it looks all crumbly.

Spread one can of the apple pie filling (or half the recipe below) in a 9"X13" pan. Layer with four noodles, then the cheese mixture. One more layer of noodles, and the rest of the apple filling. Sprinkle the oat/brown sugar mixture over the top. Bake for 40-45 minutes, and cool completely (I burned my tongue, so wait at least 20 minutes). Serve with (what else?) a big old scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Apple Pie Filling
4� cups thinly sliced apples (Granny Smith, preferably)
2� teaspoons lemon juice
1 cup and 2 tablespoons white sugar
� cup cornstarch
� tsp apple pie spice
� teaspoon salt
2� cups water

Directions
1. In a large bowl, toss apples with lemon juice and set aside. Pour water into a Dutch oven over medium heat. Combine sugar, cornstarch, spice, and salt. Add to water, stir well, and bring to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes, stirring constantly.
2. Add apples and return to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer until apples are tender, about 6 to 8 minutes. Cool for 30 minutes.


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ZIG�S
CHOCOLATE FONDUE

Do the same thing as stated in the Zig�s Swiss Cheese Fondue recipe in the �Eggs & Cheese� section, but use milk or cream as the liquid and chocolate chips instead of cheese.

Add some yummy liqueur like Grand Marnier, Chambord, Frangelico, etc., or even some more of the tasty Kirsch towards the end.

To dip:
Cubed pound cake
Cubes of cold cream cheese (complete decadence!)
Oreos
Mandarin oranges
Cherries
Banana slices
Marshmallows
Dried apricots
Strawberries
Etc....


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DISCOSIS�S
CHOCOLATE SPIDERS

This is better than the ones you find in your bathroom at 2 am.

WHAT YOU NEED:
CHOCOLATE CHIPS
CHINESE FRIED NOODLES [here in Canada, the brand is Wings. they're not actually noodles, they're more like crackers..?]

WHAT YOU DO:
1. Melt chocolate chips in microwave
2. Take out of microwave
3. Pour in Chinese noodles in bowl of melted chocolate chips, swirl around so all the noodles are covered.
4. Spoon clumps of noodle/chocolate hybrid onto cookie sheet and use up all of it.
5. Stick in fridge.
6. Wait till chocolate has hardened [like, 30 mins. its hard I know]
7. Eat it allll really really messy until your entire face and hands are covered in chocolate.
Enjoy!

(Discosis�s Chocolate Spiders also appears in the �Appetizers & Snacks� section.)


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OZYMANDIAS�S
CINNAMON BOURBON APPLE FRITTERS

(These are insanely delicious!!)

*5 large baking apples such as Roma or Granny Smith (I prefer Granny Smith), peeled, cored and sliced into rings � inch thick
*� cup bourbon
*� cup superfine sugar
*1� cups all purpose flour
*� teaspoons cinnamon
*� teaspoon salt
*1 cup beer, preferably pale ale
*� cup whole milk
*vegetable oil for frying
*cinnamon, honey, sugar, whatever for serving

1. In large bowl, toss apples w/ bourbon and sugar. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and up to 4 hours. Drain well before cooking!!
2. Sift flour, cinnamon and salt together into a bowl. Slowly whisk in the beer and milk until the batter is completely smooth. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes and up to 2 hours.
3. In a deep, heavy pot, heat 2 inches of oil over medium-high heat until it reaches 360 degrees. Meanwhile, line a baking sheet or plate w/ paper towels. Working in batches to avoid crowding the pot, dip an apple ring into the batter coating it generously, then shake of the excess batter and slip the ring into the oil. Fry until golden brown on the bottom, about 1 minute, then flip over and fry until golden brown on the other side.
4. Transfer cooked fritters to the lined baking sheet to drain and repeat until all are cooked. Serve immediately and dust with cinnamon and sugar, drizzled with honey or dusted w/ powdered sugar.


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FLEEGIX�S
CINNAMON SNAILS

These are so easy and so pretty and so tasty. They convert easily to vegan with soft tofu cheese instead of cream cheese. They're like tiny cinnamon rolls with melty cream cheese frosting. I have these often after a night out drinking to help absorb the alcohol.

You need:
2 slices white bread
2 T granulated sugar
cinnamon
1T butter or margarine
plain or plain whipped cream cheese

Preheat your oven or toaster oven to 350 degrees.

Make 2T cinnamon sugar by mixing 2T granulated sugar with as much cinnamon as you like.

Trim the crust from two slices of white bread (scissors make trimming crust super easy). Flatten out the bread. Spread plain cream cheese (whipped plain is good too, and spreads very easily) all over the slices of bread. Roll them up, jelly-roll style, from the bottom up. Slice each roll into four pieces. Admire the lovely cross-section swirl of cream cheese.

Melt the 1 T butter in your microwave. Roll the bread outside of the raw snails in the butter, and then dip into cinnamon sugar. (Leave the swirl visible!) Arrange on a cookie sheet or baking pan. Bake in oven for 15-20 minutes, or until the outside "shell" is as crispy as you like.

This makes two little servings or one big serving.


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*MERRY*�S
COCONUT AND PALM SUGAR SYRUP WITH TAPIOCA, TROPICAL FRUIT, AND SHAVED ICE

Made from yucca (pronounced "YOO-ca"), pearl tapioca can be found at Asian markets and specialty foods shops.

Active time: 2 hr
Start to finish: 2� hr

8� cups water
2/3 cup large (�- to �-inch) pearl tapioca (not quick-cooking)
� cup grated or crumbled dark palm sugar (4 oz)*
2 (13- to 14-oz) cans unsweetened coconut milk (do not shake)
2 firm-ripe mangoes (1� lb total), peeled, pitted, and cut into �-inch pieces
1 lb firm-ripe papaya (preferably red), peeled, seeded, and cut into �-inch pieces
� pineapple, peeled, cored, and cut into �-inch pieces
2 cups shaved ice

Garnish: fresh coconut shavings, toasted

Special equipment: an ice shaver, preferably manual

Bring 8 cups water to a boil in a 2-quart saucepan and add tapioca, stirring constantly. Gently boil, stirring occasionally, until tapioca is almost completely translucent, 40 minutes to 1� hours, depending on size of tapioca.

Remove from heat and let tapioca stand, covered, until completely translucent, 45 minutes to 1� hours, depending on size.

While tapioca is standing, bring sugar, a pinch of salt, and remaining � cup water to a simmer in a small heavy saucepan, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Simmer syrup until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.

Scoop out � cup (total) of thick layer of coconut cream from tops of cans (reserving remainder for another use) and whisk into syrup until combined well. Chill syrup until cold, about 1 hour.

Add 3 cups cold water to translucent tapioca, and then drain in a sieve. Transfer tapioca to a large bowl filled halfway with cold water, swirl, and then drain in sieve. (This removes excess starch.)

Spoon 3 tablespoons syrup into each of 4 glasses (there will be some left over), then divide fruit and tapioca among them. Top with shaved ice.

Cook�s notes:
� Small pearl tapioca may be substituted for large, but the cooking time must be reduced to about 5 minutes boiling time and 15 minutes standing time.

� For this recipe, we prefer one of the following brands of coconut milk because the thin liquid and the creamlike layer are distinctly separated: A Taste of Thai, Mount Tai, Thai Kitchen, or Ka-Me.

� Syrup can be made 3 days ahead and chilled, covered.

*Available at Asian markets and Uwajimaya (800-889-1928).


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GRASSHOPPER�S
CRANNACHAN

Ingredients
4 tbsp pinhead oatmeal
� pt double cream
50g/2oz sugar
110g/4oz raspberries
2tbsp whisky

1. Place the oatmeal on baking sheet and toast in a medium oven until crisp for about 5-10 minutes.

2. Whip the cream until it is thick but not stiff.

3. In a blender, blend all the raspberries (except 2 which are for decoration) until they form a smooth puree.

4. Combine the oatmeal, whisky, sugar and cream.

5. In tall glasses layer the ingredients, starting with the raspberries then follow with cream. Continue until you reach the top of the glasses.

6. Finish with a raspberry and serve immediately.


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OZYMANDIAS�S
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE

(Beware: This is for serious chocolate lovers. This is insanely rich and chocolatey.)

*2 boxes brownie mix (prepare as directed)
*2 large boxes of chocolate pudding (instant) (Prepare as directed)
*2 containers Cool Whip (regular size)
*1 bag Heath bits

1. Prepare brownies according to package directions. Let cool. Prepare chocolate pudding according to package directions. Add � container Cool Whip to pudding. Mix with wire whisk. After brownies are cool, layer in large bowl as follows:
~Brownies, broken up into small pieces
~chocolate pudding
~Cool Whip
~Heath bar bits
2. Repeat above layering process 1 or more times depending on depth of bowl.


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MAGENTA�S
FROZEN YOGURT PIE

It's the most simple thing, but delicious, and potentially pretty damn healthy (all depends on the choice of ingredients):

Ingredients -
- 1 cup yogurt, flavor of your choice
- 1 container of Cool Whip (can be lite to reduce calories)
- 1 ready-made crust (can be graham cracker or chocolate, varies w/ the yogurt)
- sliced fruits or chocolate chips, shredded chocolate*

In a large bowl, mix the yogurt and the Cool Whip until well-blended. Pour into the pie crust. Top with sliced fruits or chocolate, and freeze until solid (approx 3 hrs).

*A few suggestions for flavors:

- Strawberry-banana yogurt on graham crust, w/ sliced strawberries and bananas on top
- Boston Cr�me Pie or chocolate yogurt w/ shaved chocolate on top

Another idea is to mix in sliced fruit or chocolate chips, but when doing this, pie should be thawed for about 30 min. so it's easier to cut.


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BRIDGET�S
FRUIT PIZZA

Ingredients:
1 tube sugar cookie dough
8 oz. cream cheese
� of small cool whip package
� cup of milk
Vanilla wafers cut in half
Fruit (strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, and bananas) of choice

-preheat oven to 425
-press cookie dough onto pizza pan
-bake for 8-12 mins. or until barely golden brown
-let cool
-mix cream cheese, sugar, milk, and cool whip
-smooth over pizza crust
-arrange fruit

Glaze
� cup juice
� cup sugar
� cup lemon juice
� cup water 2 tbsp. corn starch

-in sauce pan, combine all the above glaze ingredients
-stir constantly while you bring to a boil (it should look thick)
-spoon over fruit and refrigerate


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CATKLEIN�S
GRAMMA�S TOFFEE SQUARES

Try these you guys, they are AMAZINGLY good.

1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups sifted flour combined with � tsp baking soda and 1 tsp cinnamon
1 egg white, beaten till foamy
1 cup pecan meats, chopped

Cream butter, add sugar, egg yolk & vanilla. Beat well for several minutes w/ electric mixer or spoon. Add flour combined w/ b. soda & cinnamon, little at a time and beat till smooth. Place dough on greased baking sheet (I use a glass baking dish - works better) that measures about 11x16" and flatten with damp hand to prevent sticking, then cover entire surface with wax paper and another pan. Press down till flat. Remove paper and upper pan. Brush top of dough well with beaten egg white. Sprinkle chopped pecans over egg white and with hand press nuts down gently. Bake 20-25 minutes @ 350. Remove from oven and at once while still hot, cut into squares.

These are to DIE FOR!


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CALAFIA�S
LEMON-CURD YOGURT TARTS

2 cups plain yogurt
� cup lemon curd
10 graham crackers

Line a sieve with a coffee filter and drain yogurt through it (leave to drain for about 2 hours at room temperature).

Mix yogurt with lemon curd and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Put graham crackers in food processor and make crumbs. Add about 1 tablespoon water for each � cup crumbs and use to line the bottoms of little tart pans. Bake this at 350 for 15 minutes or so - just to dry it out and brown it a little. Cool and spoon yogurt mixture into and serve within 2 hours of filling.


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SUGARCOOKIE�S
MAD MONKEY BARS

This was the other one of my two submissions to the last Pillsbury Bakeoff. Didn't place either. Those fuckas.

Prep time: 15 minutes. Ready in 35-40 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350.

1 14oz package Pillsbury Banana Quick Bread/Muffin mix
� cup crunchy peanut butter, softened in microwave for 15 seconds
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup milk
1/3 cup packed, light brown sugar
� cup chilled butter (half of a stick)

Caramel Filling
Cut butter into small pieces. Cut into brown sugar with a fork, until resembling crumbs. Set aside in the refrigerator.

Crust
Spray a 9" X 9" square pan with butter-flavored cooking spray. Combine bread mix, softened peanut butter, chocolate chips, and milk. Mixture will be crumby. Try to combine wet and dry ingredients as best you can. With the back of a large spoon, press half of the crust mixture into baking pan. Bake bottom of the crust for 6 minutes or until it appears very lightly browned. Spread butter/sugar mixture over the top. It does not have to reach evenly to each side. Drop the other half of the crust mixture in tablespoon-sized mounds all over the top of the caramel layer. You should see some of the caramel mixture "peeking" through. Place in the oven again, and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Cool on a rack. They are very hot.

Makes 16-24 servings, depending on size of bar.

(Sugarcookie�s Mad Money Bars also appears in the �Cookies� section.)

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[VERLEST]�S
MAPLE SYRUP FONDUE

Simply delicious. Use real maple syrup from Quebec. It�s the best! (No, I am not biased in any way.)

� cup Canadian maple syrup
� cup heavy whipping cream (35%)
1 tablespoon cornstarch, diluted

Over medium heat, heat syrup and cream until thickened. Stir in cornstarch. Serve with fresh fruit, chocolate and maple sugar pieces.

([Verlest]�s Maple Syrup Fondue also appears in the �Sauces & Relishes� section.)


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DEBASER�S
MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKES W/ RASPBERRY SAUCE

(Serves 8)

8 oz. (2 sticks) unsalted butter
8 oz. bittersweet chocolate
4 large eggs (freshest you can find)
4 egg yolks (ditto)
� cup sugar
� cup all-purpose flour, sifted

Raspberry Sauce:
2 cups fresh raspberries, pureed
� cup sugar
� cup brandy

--In a small saucepan, combine raspberries and sugar. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, & simmer for 2 minutes. Add brandy and flame. Set aside to cool.

The cakes:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Melt the butter and chocolate together in a mixing bowl, set over simmering water. Keep warm. With an electric mixer, beat the eggs, yolks, and sugar on medium speed until light in color and very thick. Mix one quarter of the egg mixture into the chocolate and butter. Fold the rest of the chocolate into the batter, sprinkling on the flour to incorporate. Ladle into 8 individual, buttered �-� cup souffl� dishes or muffin cups. Bake for 7-8 minutes; cakes should still be very soft and liquid in the middle. Let cool at room temperature. Unmold.

Serve with good vanilla ice cream (I like Breyers Natural Vanilla) and drizzle with raspberry sauce.

Extra cakes can be wrapped in plastic and refrigerated. To serve, unwrap, place on plate, bring to room temperature before microwaving 15-20 sec. on high power. Don't go too much longer or the cakes will dry out.


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SKATES�S
OREO COOKIE CAKE

It's really, really, simple, and sooo good!

1 package regular Oreo cookies, crushed (a food processor works best for this, if not, than a rolling pin will do)
1 stick melted butter
� gallon vanilla or chocolate chip ice cream, softened enough so it is easily spreadable
1 jar hot fudge sauce (Mrs. Richardson's is my favorite)

Combine most of the crushed Oreos (save some for sprinkling on top when done) and butter and pat into the bottom of a 9 x 13 baking pan. Spread softened ice cream over that, and then spread hot fudge sauce over that. Sprinkle top of cake with the rest of the crushed Oreos.

Freeze for 2 hours or so, and then serve. Yum!


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SNICKERDOODLES'
PIRATED COCONUT LIME BARS

For crust
� cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
� stick (6 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, cut into bits
1/3 cup sweetened flaked coconut, toasted and cooled
� cup confectioners' sugar
� teaspoon salt

For custard
4 large eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
� cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (from about 5 limes)
1 tablespoon freshly grated lime zest (from about 2 limes)
1/3 cup sweetened flaked coconut, toasted and cooled

Make crust:
Preheat oven to 325�F and butter and flour an 8-inch square baking pan, knocking out excess flour.

In a bowl, blend together with fingertips flour, butter, coconut, confectioners' sugar, and salt until mixture resembles coarse meal. Pat mixture into prepared pan and bake in middle of oven 25 to 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

Reduce oven temperature to 300�F.

Make custard:
In a bowl, whisk together eggs and granulated sugar until combined well and stir in flour, lime juice, and zest.

Pour mixture over crust and bake in middle of oven 20 minutes. Top custard with coconut and bake 5 to 10 minutes more, or until just set. Cool in pan on a rack and chill 1 hour.

Note:
1) To toast coconut, put on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper then put in oven - it doesn't stick that way! Also watch coconut as it is toasting because it browns quickly!

2) When mixing crust stuff, don't try to get it perfect and don't melt the butter. Just mix it up as best you can and then smoosh it into the pan. The butter will still be in small pieces which is correct! Try to get the mixture level in there so that the custard part will be even!

3) Also, these are better the next day, the lime flavor gets a chance to mellow a bit.

4) Store these in the fridge.


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SORBET�S
PUNCHBOWL CAKE

Here's an extremely easy indulgent dessert.

What you need:
Punchbowl
1 chocolate cake mix
1 box(es) of chocolate and/or vanilla pudding
Bananas
Whipped cream (cool whip works best)
Maraschino cherries
Hershey syrup

Prepare:
Make cake mix and pudding according to box/recipe.
Cut cake into squares and layer on bottom of punchbowl.
Layer pudding, then bananas, then whipped cream.
Repeat with second half of cake, pudding, bananas and whipped cream.
Top with halved maraschino cherries and make your own design with the Hershey syrup.

I'm salivating! Good stuff and virtually calorie free!! Don�t we wish?


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[VERLEST]�S
SCRUMPTIOUS GINGER CREME BR�L�E

3 cups heavy whipping cream
1 cup ginger root, peeled and sliced 1/8� thick
7 large egg yolks
� cup, fructose (or white sugar)
2 tablespoons crystallized ginger, minced

1. Heat cream and ginger root in saucepan just below boiling point; cover and steep for 20-30 minutes.
2. Preheat oven to 300�F.
3. In large bowl, whisk yolks and � cup sugar until thick; strain cream, discarding ginger; stir cream into yolks.
4. Sprinkle crystallized ginger in 6 ramequins; pour � cup custard into each.
5. Set ramequins in a shallow pan, and add hot water about halfway up; bake 30-45 minutes.
6. Mixture should be wobbly in centre, but set around edges; remove from oven and set aside until cool; cover and chill until ready.
7. Preheat broiler; sprinkle remaining sugar on top of ramequins.
8. Place as close as broiler as possible; allow caramel to harden. You could also caramelize with a propane torch, but I�ve never tried it.


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ZIG�S
S�MORES BROWNIE SQUARES

If you can stand baking, these are perfect for summer.

Brownies:
24 graham crackers (or enough to line the entire bottom of the pan you're using)
1 package low-fat fudge brownie mix
2 egg whites

Topping:
3 cups miniature marshmallows
� cup milk chocolate chips
� teaspoon shortening (Crisco)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray a 15X10-inch jelly roll pan (or 13X9 in. baking pan) with butter-flavored PAM. Line the bottom of the pan with graham crackers. Fill in any gaps with crumbled up grahams - it doesn't have to be perfect.

In a bowl, combine the brownie mix, egg whites, and 1/3-cup water, and stir until moistened, then beat 50 strokes by hand. Spread evenly over the graham crackers.

Bake for 15 - 18 minutes. Do not overbake! (I try the toothpick test to make sure it's done)

Remove brownies from oven. Immediately sprinkle with mini-marshmallows; gently press into hot brownies.

Bake an additional 2 minutes, or until marshmallows are puffed. (I sometimes use the broiler just to brown them a little on top) MAKE SURE YOU KEEP CHECKING ON THE MARSHMALLOWS - THEY BURN EASILY!!!!

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, combine the chocolate chips and shortening. Stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Drizzle the topping over the marshmallows with a fork. Cool completely. Using a knife dipped in hot water, cut into bars.


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HONEYCHILD�S
STRAWBERRY COBBLER

(This works with any berry, really)

You�ll need:
3 c. sliced berries
1 t. to 1 T. of almond extract
1 c. flour
1 c. sugar
1 egg, slightly beaten
6 T. butter or margarine, melted

Prep:
Spray bottom of 8x8 or 9x9 pan.
Spread berries evenly in pan.
Sprinkle with almond extract.
In a bowl, mix together flour and sugar.
Add egg until mixture is crumbly.
Sprinkle over berries.
Sprinkle entire mixture with margarine.

Bake @ 375 for 40 minutes. Serve warm with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.


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LITTLE�S
TURKISH COFFEE CAKE COOKIE BARS

These are so good - I have been making them like crazy! Thought I would share...

2 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. brown sugar
2 T. Turkish coffee or powdered instant coffee
2 t. cinnamon
� t. nutmeg
� t. allspice or ground coriander
� c. butter
1 c. sour cream
1 egg, beaten
1 t. baking soda
� c. chopped nuts (I use walnuts)
6 oz. chocolate chips

Mix together the flour, sugar, coffee, and spices - then cut in butter with a pastry cutter until crumbly. Press half of this mixture into a 9 by 13 inch pan. Mix the remaining half with the sour cream, egg, baking soda and walnuts. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the crust and then pour the batter on top of the crust. Spread it carefully. Bake at a 350 oven for 25-30 minutes, until the middle is springy.


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JOHN ASHCROFT�S
VERY CHOCOLATE BROWNIES

I have always strived to follow Biblical admonitions such as Isaiah 55:2 "Eat ye that which is good and let your soul delight itself in fatness." Choosing my favorite recipe is a difficult task. Finally, I was able to settle upon a recipe for brownies that I have had for several years. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. Sincerely, John Ashcroft, United States Senator

Instructions
Begin with a box of brownie mix. The brand is up to you. The instructions on the box will give you a list of ingredients to add to the dry mix. Substitute chocolate syrup for � of the liquid ingredients. Add one cup of chocolate chips and one cup of walnuts. Once you have thoroughly mixed all of the ingredients together, pour the mix into a pan two-thirds the recommended size. This will make the individual portions thicker and chewier! Place the pan into the oven and bake at 320 degrees, not 350 degrees as usually recommended. This will require extended baking time.





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