Cookies
(all cookies)
WBAS'
ALL POWERFUL FULL 'O GOODNESS COOKIES OF, ER, POWER
(Otherwise known as Chocolate chip cookies. Highly addictive and great for bribing loved ones, strangers and government officials.)
You will need:
� cup white sugar
� cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
Some water
2� cups of flour
1 tsp salt
Vanilla extract
Whatever goodies (chips, chunks, sprinkles, nuts whatever)
To make this fantastic treat:
Smoosh all the butter in the bottom of a medium sized mixing bowl, then mush in both sugars and the eggs until smooth. Try and get all the lumps out of the brown sugar- it doesn't really matter, but it looks nicer that way, and no one gets a mouthful of dry goods. Dissolve the baking soda in some hot water (really, however much water you want. Just enough to cover the soda) and add to your sugar concoction. Mix. Add your salt and then your flour. The flour is hard to mix in, but use those Health and Fitness Board muscles, and you can do it! Add your goodies to taste- some like cookies loaded, some like them lightly spattered with munchables- and add the vanilla. Now, you'll notice that I didn't specify a certain amount of vanilla- that's because it's the secret ingredient to making these cookies addictive. Use lots. I mean, at least two good sloshes- you should be able to taste the vanilla-y goodness when you nibble the batter- and don't act like you're NOT eating to batter, because everyone on earth tastes cookie dough. Mix everything all together. When you're done, drop by mounded-up teaspoons onto a greased or non-stick cookie sheet or baking pan, and bake at approximately 375 for about 12 minutes.
Now, my stove is weird. To get 375, I actually set it at about 325.. so use your discretion. Also, check cookies because the baking time can vary depending on the amount of goodies and vanilla. Just do a test run first with one sheet of cookies, checking ever 2 minutes or so for doneness. After that, you're set to go! Enjoy! Use as bribes as necessary.
Cheers! Morgan- aka WBAS
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SUGARCOOKIE�S
COSMIC CHOCOLATE SUGAR BLASTERS
(For Bunnyrock)
3 squares unsweetened chocolate
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
� teaspoon salt
1 wheel of Mexican chocolate, ground, OR 3 tbsp granulated sugar, mixed with 2 tsp cinnamon
� cup chopped peanuts
1 14 oz package caramel candy
2 tbsp milk
Melted semisweet chocolate chips, for drizzling
Microwave chocolate and margarine in large microwavable bowl on high 2 minutes or until margarine is melted. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Stir 1 cup sugar into melted chocolate mixture until well blended. Stir in egg and vanilla until completely blended. Mix in flour, baking soda and salt. Refrigerate 30 minutes. Heat oven to 375'F. Shape dough into 1" balls; roll in ground Mexican chocolate or sugar/cinnamon mixture. Roll in chopped nuts. Make indentation in each ball; bake as directed. Microwave 1 package (14 ounces) caramel candies with 2 tablespoons milk in microwavable bowl on high 3 minutes or until melted, stirring after 2 minutes. Fill centers of cookies with caramel mixture. Drizzle with melted semi-sweet chocolate.
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CATKLEIN�S
DEEP SHIT COOKIES
Yield: 1 batch
CHOCOLATE INGREDIENTS
� c honey
2/3 c (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 c whole wheat flour
1/3 c cocoa powder
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal
GINGERBREAD INGREDIENTS
� c honey
� c molasses
2/3 cup (1 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
2 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
Spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe � tsp each)
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal
MIX-INS
Coconut (tapeworms)
Chocolate chips
Butterscotch chips
Peanut butter chips
Cooked spaghetti or ramen noodles (roundworms)
Corn
Peanuts
M&Ms
Last warning-many of you may not want to read this! This is the recipe for little gator's famous "Deep Shit Cookies"
There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown)
I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet; this is necessary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar, they may be tastier but they won't look like shit.
To make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute). Add the butter, (I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, and then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.
Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (maybe 10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven, you never know). Note: someone with a reliable oven says it's closer to 20 minutes for him. (Thanks Paul!)
Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grape nuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven't tried it. I've been told that mixing brown sugar with the grape nuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous."
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MEAGICANO�S
FAT ARCHIES
These cookies seem like a lot of work but they're my absolute favorites and a traditional recipe from Cape Breton, a large island that is part of Nova Scotia. They're really soft molasses cookies and both these cookies and a matching cake are a staple at my grandmother's house, and I bake them whenever I'm feeling homesick or depressed.
2� cups flour
1 tsp. ginger
� tsp. cinnamon
� tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. salt
� cup shortening
� cup brown sugar
� cup white sugar
1 egg
� cup molasses
2 tsp. baking soda
� cup boiling water
Sift together flour, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Cream shortening with the sugars. Add egg, then molasses and mix. Dissolve baking soda in boiling water and add to shortening mixture. Add dry ingredients mixing quickly to a smooth dough. Chill, roll out and cut with a cookie cutter or into squares.
Place on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 375 degrees F for 10 to 15 minutes.
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GAY MAYOR'S
HAPPY, LOVING, RAINBOW COOKIES
Share a cookie, share a smile, don�t share needles. Stay off the streets, etc..
7 oz marzipan paste or almond paste
1 cup sugar
3 sticks unsalted butter, softened
4 large eggs, separated
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour (sift before measuring)
� teaspoon salt
5 drops green food coloring, or to desired color
5 drops red food coloring, or to desired color
12-oz jar raspberry jam (preferably seedless)
6 oz semisweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350�F and grease 3 (13- by 9-inch) metal baking pans. Line bottom of each with wax paper, letting it extend at 2 opposite ends, and grease paper. Break marzipan paste into small pieces and grind with sugar in food processor until no lumps remain. Transfer to a large bowl and add butter. Beat with an electric mixer until light and fluffy, then add yolks and almond extract and beat well. Beat in flour and salt on low speed. Beat egg whites in another bowl with cleaned beaters until they just hold stiff peaks and stir one third into batter to lighten slightly (batter will still be stiff). Fold in remaining whites thoroughly. Divide dough into thirds (about 1� cups each). Stir green food coloring into one third and red food coloring into another, leaving one third plain. Spread each dough separately into a pan. (Layers will be thin.)
Bake layers in batches in middle of oven until just set and beginning to turn golden along edges, 7 to 10 minutes total. Run a knife along edges to loosen from pan, then while still hot, invert a large rack over pan and invert layer onto rack, pulling gently on wax paper overhangs to release if necessary. Peel off wax paper and cool completely.
Line a large shallow baking pan with wax paper and slide green layer into it. Spread half of jam evenly over green layer and carefully top with plain layer. Spread remaining jam evenly over uncolored layer and carefully top with pink layer (trim edges if necessary). Cover with plastic wrap and weight with a large cutting board or baking pan. Chill at least 3 hours.
Melt chocolate in a double boiler or a metal bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water. Remove weight and plastic wrap and spread chocolate evenly over top, but not sides, of pink layer. Let stand at room temperature until set, about 1 hour, and cut into small diamonds (12 rows crosswise and 12 diagonal rows).
MAKES 7 DOZEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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REFINNEJ�S
JUMBO DROP COOKIES
(This is a really huge recipe)
1 cup shortening
4 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup water
2 cups white sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups raisins
3 eggs
Boil raisins and water for 10 minutes; remove from heat and cool until warm. Blend shortening, salt and white sugar, and then add eggs. Add raisins/water to mixture. Next, add the spices, vanilla, baking powder and baking soda, then mix in the flour. Drop the dough by spoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet, and bake at 350* until done.
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SUGARCOOKIE�S
MAD MONKEY BARS
This was the other one of my two submissions to the last Pillsbury Bakeoff. Didn't place either. Those fuckas.
Prep time: 15 minutes. Ready in 35-40 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350.
1 14oz package Pillsbury Banana Quick Bread/Muffin mix
� cup crunchy peanut butter, softened in microwave for 15 seconds
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup milk
1/3 cup packed, light brown sugar
� cup chilled butter (half of a stick)
Caramel Filling
Cut butter into small pieces. Cut into brown sugar with a fork, until resembling crumbs. Set aside in the refrigerator.
Crust
Spray a 9" X 9" square pan with butter-flavored cooking spray. Combine bread mix, softened peanut butter, chocolate chips, and milk. Mixture will be crumby. Try to combine wet and dry ingredients as best you can. With the back of a large spoon, press half of the crust mixture into baking pan. Bake bottom of the crust for 6 minutes or until it appears very lightly browned. Spread butter/sugar mixture over the top. It does not have to reach evenly to each side. Drop the other half of the crust mixture in tablespoon-sized mounds all over the top of the caramel layer. You should see some of the caramel mixture "peeking" through. Place in the oven again, and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Cool on a rack. They are very hot.
Makes 16-24 servings, depending on size of bar.
(Sugarcookie�s Mad Money Bars also appears in the �Desserts� section.)
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WONG FOO�S
NEIMAN MARCUS COOKIES
Okay, so this obviously isn't my recipe, but it's one of my favorites. While you're baking, you should check out www.snopes.com and read about the urban legend behind Neiman Marcus' cookie recipe.
� cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
� teaspoon baking soda
� teaspoon baking powder
� teaspoon salt
1� cups flour
1� teaspoons instant coffee, slightly crushed
8 oz. semisweet chocolate chips
1. Cream the butter with the sugars until fluffy.
2. Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract.
3. Combine the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture.
4. Stir in the chocolate chips.
5. Drop by large spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet.
6. Bake at 375 degrees for 8-10 minutes, or 10-12 minutes for a crispier cookie.
Makes 15 large cookies.
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@NDIE�S
PB CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
(Absolutely THE best choc. chip cookies!!)
� cup shortening
� cup butter
� cup peanut butter
� cup brown sugar
� cup sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2� cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups chocolate chips
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.
2. In a large bowl, cream together shortening, butter, peanut butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition, and then stir in vanilla. Combine flour, baking soda and salt: gradually stir into the creamed mixture. Fold in chocolate chips. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet.
3. Bake 8 to 10 minutes, until light brown. Let cool.
4. Enjoy! And you will!
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LAUREN5779�S
PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
1 cup cooked pumpkin
1 cup sugar
� cup oil
1 large egg
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda dissolved in 1 tsp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips
1. In a large bowl, combine pumpkin, sugar, oil and egg
2. In another bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, and cinnamon
3. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture along with dissolved soda and milk and mix well
4. Stir in vanilla and mix well
5. Drop by teaspoonfuls on lightly greased cookie sheet
6. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 to 12 mins.
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WONG FOO�S
SNICKERDOODLES
All my nieces and nephews love helping me prepare and devour these delicious cookies.
� cup butter (1 stick), softened
� cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 egg
� teaspoon vanilla
1� cups flour
� teaspoon salt
� teaspoon baking soda
� teaspoon cream of tartar
Topping
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugars with an electric mixer on high speed. Add the egg and vanilla and beat until smooth.
2. In another bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar.
3. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix well.
4. Preheat oven to 300 degrees while you let the dough rest for 30 to 60 minutes in the refrigerator.
5. In a small bowl, combine the sugar with the cinnamon for the topping.
6. Take about 2� tablespoons of the dough and roll it into a ball. Roll this dough in the cinnamon/sugar mixture and press it onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Repeat for the remaining cookies.
7. Bake the cookies for 12 to 14 minutes and no more. The cookies may seem undercooked, but will continue to develop after they are removed from the oven. When the cookies have cooled they should be soft and chewy in the middle.
Makes 16 to 18 cookies.
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