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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ALFIE..... |
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As you will have guessed from my picture, I'm just a little guy. Rotten things keep happening to me and Mummy laughs. So on behalf of us tiny people everywhere, I am speaking out... Prepare to be shocked. |
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These are the causes of most of my troubles. BROTHERS! Older ones too. Mummy says they love me a bit TOO much. They are called Michael and Zak. |
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I'm not so convinced. I have photographic evidence too. This is my first cuddle with Zak in the lounge - I was about 30 minutes old. And he doesn't look too happy about it. Mum said he was just shocked. |
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Zak is the main cause of my woes. He tried to tie me up with a dog lead once. Rather than rescue me, Mummy got the camera... |
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And then there was the time he ate my nappy cream... |
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He got into Mummy's shopping and tried to bury me in oat flakes... Note the total disregard for my welfare, as yet again the tall ones grab the camera before rescuing me... |
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And he drew on me.... It's permanent marker! |
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I'm not even safe in the garden.... |
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Now this one was talcum powder - and Mummy complains I am running about at 9 months old... So would you Mummy, So would you.... |
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Mind you, I am capable of mischief all of my own too. Do not leave tins of opened gloss paint lying around..... |
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And if my Mummy tells you I am spoilt - she is misinformed. |
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