(I do not own this article, the opinions expressed in it, nor the magazine it was originally published in. No copywrite infringement is intentional and I am not profitting by putting this on my site *other than in laughter, of course* With the legalities out of the way...read and enjoy)

Punchin In...by Waylon Wahl

(warning: This following is a satire--got that?-- meant strictly for laughs and, of course to piss off all Garth fans. Management of this magaizine in no way shares the opinions.;Well, maybe some of us.)

Sorry friends. I don’t know what just happened there. As near as I can figure it, Garth’s current television commercial transmits some kinda subliminal “Videodrome” mind-control command signal that removes all freewill and rational thought, replacing them with zombie-like blind allegiance.Kills the sense of humor, too. From now on, I’m only watching Shannon Tweed movies or those “When Animals Attack Stupid People!” specials on Fox-TV. I’ll just turn my head and hit the mute button when the Garth commercials come on, and I’ll be fine. Until, of course, I read my mail. Man, say a few critical things about Garth “Not A Delusional Egomaniac” Brooks, and you people act as if I’d broke into your houses and raped your Sunday roast. Hundreds of readers were so incensed by my “Dear Garth: Stay Out Of NY” column that they were compelled to scribble hateful letters to the editor that insulted me, my friends, my family, my ancestors and even future generations of Wahl’s not yet born to this mortal barstool. I mean, I got some nasty hate mail. Some of the threats were even spelled correctly.

Lighten up, folks. Let he or she without attitude cast the first empty beer bottle, y”know? Sure,my attitude can suck. But then again, so does a lot of what goes on in country music. If you think that I’m no longer going to criticize Garth Brooks (or his forced “reorganization” of CapitolRecords using Sevens as the hostage demand and putting quite a few people out of work, as well as the ongoing Garth juggernaut of misinformation and head-shaking hype), or any other artist whose music, behavior or attitude is less than honest with the public, I’m going after them. If you want puff pieces, go read Country Weekly. If you want some much needed critical insight about our music however critically cynical it may be, keep reading this magazine.

THIS JUST IN: Garth’s people report that the official attendance for the “historic” Central Park concert is now over the 137 million. Evidently, they’ve decided that the park’s pigeon, squirrel and rat population should be included in the head count. Also, an audience of more than 23 Trillion watched the HBO special, including house pets and dust mites. Insects with segmented eyes count as multiple viewers. Thought you’d like to know.

No, I haven’t listened to Seven’s yet. I figure that between the Garth marketing invasion and the Garth publicity blitz, hearing the actual album is, for me, kinda besides the point. I’m sure millions of Garth fans will love it, and I’m happy for them. So quit sendin’ me hate mail, okay?

NEWSFLASH: Domino’s Pizza has just announced their new product, THE GARTH “SEVEN’S PIZZA” It’s a huge pie shaped like Garth’s head, smothered in 7 different kinds of processed cheese. You will be compelled to order one and it will take a long time to deliver, but even before you get it, you’ll be convinced that IT’S THE BEST DARN PIZZA YOU’VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE...

Let’s face it; there’s a lot more to country music today then being compelled to buy a new Garth Brook’s album.

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Disclaimer:
The OPINIONS expressed on this Web site are MINE!!!! They are not expressed out of any personal vendettas I might have against Garth Brooks. I am not now, nor have I ever been employed by Garth Brooks. I simply believe him to be a greedy, arrogant, and untruthful being. Which is why I have this site. To express the aforementioned beliefs. Everything mentioned on this site has been stated by Garth at one time or the other, either in person or through an interview. I was a Garth Fan Once-I would not have believed this stuff if Garth had not qualified it with his own words!

Contact Information:
If you have something to say, I would prefer you to post it on the message board (that's why it's there, after all!) However, if you would like to provide info or would like to provide editorial content for possible publication on the site, you can email me at Jane Kirk . If you are writing me hate mail, please at least try to be creative. This site's been operation since 1997; I've seen a lot of emails since then.