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GARTH'S SPECIAL THEME SONG 
1. To set a new goal in the # of times he retires/unretires in one year. 2. To stage an amazing "comeback" album...even though "Scarecrow" was supposed to be a "farewell" album. 3. See if he can rip off another famous album title and use it for his own. Can Garth's "Thriller" be far behind? (FOR THOSE OF YOU TOO STUPID TO KNOW: "SCARECROW" WAS THE NAME OF ONE OF JOHN MELLANCAMP'S BIGGEST ALBUMS.) 5. Form a boy band and take over the pop charts. JUST THINK OF ALL THE MONEY TO BE MADE! 
6. Hold at least one press conference per week to announce an update
on his life, as opposed to the once a month he staged in 2001!7. Finally and officially hookup with Trisha Yearwood...now that his wife's out of the way...loving family guy that he is. (GOAL REACHED!!!) 8. Record and promote another soundtrack to ANOTHER movie which will never be made 9. Get rid of that Mike Dungan guy that keeps insisting he has some power at Crapitol. 10. Forget 3 televised concerts a week-in 2002, Garth plans to have a concert every hour every day for a week to promote his "coming out of retirement". Originally slotted to air on NBC, Garth changes his mind when NBC wants to air commercials for non-Garth products. As a result-Garth has a tantrum and starts his own television channel- GGC-Garth is God Central. 11. Release ANOTHER box set-covering only the two studio albums made since the last one. In Garth's ever expanding quest to become the biggest selling artist of all time, he will have only 1 song per CD a 20 cd
box set!
When
the box set goes platinum-he will have sold 20 million more albums
Maybe Garth will even be generous and throw in 1 or 2 new songs for the $100 (THAT'S ONLY $5 AN ALBUM, YOU KNOW.) That would be 22 CDs for the box set... 12. Contact Kiss and find out exactly *how* one goes about having such a huge merchandising line. Immediately begin work on a Garth Dolls and Coffins. 
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