And now, music to pluck your eyebrows to

Ahhh, just like eating a postage stamp

The condom makes the drum sound better

Most Montana bus stations are run by angry lesbians

Old people! All they do is wander around and smoke!

Some people have that look that says "I'm pissed off and confused at the same time". You know those people? They usually wear glasses

To pass the time, I played 'Guess the Gender of the Person Sitting in Front of Me'

Out of my way! I have to get home and put on ugly shoes!

I thought there was a hideous troll guarding the bathroom, but it turned out to be a resident from accross the hall

I don't wan't to be a person anymore. I want to be a loose connection of mental formations and sensory perceptions.

We need a storage place for the vomit-cleaning machine on every floor

You think you're idiot proof, but actually you're just an idiot

I feel mentally expunged

I want a sponge made from the armpit hair of sexually frustrated Amazon women

Not that I'm the kind of person that goes around cursing at paper

Oh my God! The garbage just moved!

Just shoot. Questions are overated

Please don't describe sunsets and horses as "sexy". I hate you enough already

Chicken-whistle Franks?

Simple Pleasure #863: Farting during a sad song

I think my vagina is wet and angry. I don't have a what now?

The "don't try this at home" warning would have a bigger impact if "you idiots" was tacked on the end

You know what's creepy? Amazon.com knows I'm gay somehow...

Fucking Air France!

I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. I was too busy being blinded by your sweater
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