A bloody hour 'till your clothes get done...eck. You'll burn in hell for this

Real men don't use umbrellas, eh? Well, I hope real men enjoy being very wet

My computer will blatantly lie to me, and, because of a fault in its guilt chip, it won't feel bad about it. Bloody machine.

Stupid, stupid stupid communists! They took all the best seats! Damn them and their red ways

I'm a Buddhist, you shit-head. Oops, forget that shit-head part

Daylight Horse? Whats a Daylight Horse?

I can tell time through my gum

The Universe needs a volume control knob

The closest I have been to doing an Irish jig was when I got drop-kicked in a mosh pit

Frank Sinatra needs to stop singing songs about buttered things falling on the floor, and sing about his native Toronto

NO TIME FOR CHANGING LANES!

What do I want most of all? One of those Doomsday Machines.

Observation 277: Nihilists don't bowl

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer

I need to go implement the stuff on this napkin

No no no, you see, I'm a quantum homosexual

I think it is appropriate for me to be very sick now

When they started telling me about the types of mowers he uses, I lost interest immediately

Sorry, honey. You can't be fabulous when you make the sour-suckey face

Fear me, for I have invented wind-activated magnets!


Well, obviously doctors have less gypsy power than, say, old ladies who knit. That is why we need a variable in the equation for gypsy power.

THE SCORE: Universe - 37 Me - 3

I make boys stop glowing

I have a great deal of respect for anyone who doesn't own a Christmas Song compilation album

Now when you get on the highway, Billy-Bob, you're going to have to drive that pick-em-up truck at a speed greater than 35
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