"There's a special place in Hell for people who make movies like that" - Chris Evans
"Is this funny, or am I just tired?" - Stacey Larson
"I want to be the meat though" - Chris Mims
"What have I done that's outside my innocence range?" - JT (The Ex-Boyfriend)
"You have incriminating curly hair on you" - Sarah
"Whats wrong with me that I make gum disintegrate?" - Katie
Jen: "I thought Jeff was gay"
JT: "Every male at this table is"
Jen: "Then why is he flirting with the girls...you're just a little bitch, aren't you!?!?"
"She blows everybody" - John Sullivan
"You and your warnings...you are going to give me a complex" - JT
"I'm ready to be sedated and raped by a big butch lesbian" - Jen
"Wow! That's a whole lotta...bending over" - Random Drag-Queen
Stacey: "Michael Jackson has kids?"
Katie: "Ya, he's procreating! Isn't that scary?"
"I wish I hadn't beaned my God in the head with a desk lamp" - Me
"And it so sucks if your death certificate says '...death by an abnormal build up of Ephedra nevadensis.'" - Sacras
"Here's Religion and here's Republicanism. They're one and the same, like two slugs having sex" - Geoff Jensen
Me: "I want to go on the rainbow trail!"
Brie: "I think we're already on the rainbow trail"
- Said while playing Candyland
"Any conversation that jumps between ritual murder and chocolate needs some direction...or I'm going to be sick" - Me
"Soon your soul shall be mine! And I'll put sequins on it! - Me
"Ha! She let me lift her lid and not you!" - Sarah
"Straight Jeff is just a figment of Gay Jeff's imagination" - Nichole
Me: "Oh my god! I would so almost have sex with Kylie Minogue"
Nichole: "Well, you're just a big gay enigma aren't you?"
Nichole: "Go say hi to your man"
Dustin: "I can't, I have a hardon"
"You're beautiful, you moron" - Zac
"It's like a paintball, only JELLY!" - Kathleen
Kate: "Am I cool as a cucumber?"
Jeff: "A little less cool and a little more cucumber"
"It's OK. I'm not Catholic." - Anne
"I may not be good at picking out clothes, but I can sure spy for Olive Garden" - Jeff Irwin
"You'll be dead, but in a more alive kind of way" - Chris Mercado
"But perhaps it's only my plan to make you think that I'm insane enough to bribe a fictious character by endlessly sharpening my entire pencil supply.... perhaps my plan is really quite rational...
and then again... maybe not!" - Jeff Irwin
"Maybe you could gouge your eyes out... then you won't see them. And then you can be independently fabulous with a fashionable seeing-eye dog." - Isi
Isi: "I wonder how blind people read computers. I bet they don't"
Jeff: "They probably hire people to read them aloud or something."
Isi: : "Probably"
Jeff: "Or have magic talking computers that use voodoo"
Isi: : "OOOO! I want a voodoo computer! Can it be named Madame Shaniqua?"
"I don't know how many horses it takes to make ice cubes...horses can't make ice cubes! If you had all the horses in the world, you still wouldn't have any ice cubes!" - Jeff Irwin
"I'm pretty sure that the Ass Black Market would be at 1600 Grand Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55105 tonight. Yep. It's the Gender Bender dance. Which means, hordes and hordes of trizzashed, skanky, cross-dressing college students." - Isi
"Well, I would hate to interrupt all your hot sex..." - Kristin Simmler
"Because, really, religion is usually just an excuse for good architecture" - Isi
"I want a picture of Jeff eating his chicken. It's the only time I'll see him with a breast in his mouth" - Carrie
"He's so cheerful, and yet so depressing at the same time" - Dan Shafar
"I kind of look like a vampire with a cold" - Sarah Bishop
"We shall goodly populate my place with potted plants. With pot in them. Plants! Plants in them. In the pots....ahem." - Geoff Jensen
Barbara: "What kind of detergent do you use?"
Annelise: "Get Downy! It's the best"
Barbara: "Thats not detergent, thats fabric softener"
Annelise: "Oh my God! Is Snuggle fabric softener too?"
Barbara: "Yes, it is"
Annelise: "I haven't washed my clothes in over a year!"
"It was nice...I was happy. I was a little pissed that I got my underwear dirty for no reason though." - Maria Foy
"It will teach you how to kick wonkers like this one in the nuts when they do something bad to you. No, not really. There is a middle path. RIGHT BETWEEN THE LEGS!" - Geoff Jensen
"Yay for a Trifecta of slightly betterness" - Dianna
